Hi, Robin:

I understand about being outta control with eating. When I get myself into a hole like that, it can seem impossible to find a way back out. Recently, I was humbled to discover just how impossible it can still seem. I had thought that, at this point, when I fall into the hole, I at least know the way out. But lo and behold, once in there, it can be all dark and impossible to navigate, just like in the bad old days.

First of all, don't beat yourself up. You are on medication and sometimes certain medications can change our systemic balance enough (either in our brain chemistry, or what have you) to disrupt our sense of balance and steadiness in our diets and to cause cravings and feeling outta control with food. So perhaps the challenge of staying on an even keel is even greater for you and you need to be understanding and loving with yourself about it. Come to think of it, I should take my own advice *lol*, because while I'm not on any drugs, I do have some kinda intense PMS stuff that happens and perhaps other brain chemistry/hormonal issues (seratonin!) that I don't yet scratch the surface of understanding, but I just need to love myself anyway when it is happening. Folks, this is crucial advice for all, me thinks! Love yourself *even when you are not perfect*. Of course I still engage in the process of trying to figure out the anatomy/dynamics of the thing so that I can take preventive steps to avoid it in the future (like, in my case, taking calcium, exercising, getting enough rest, NO COFFEE, etc.), but the trick is not to beat myself up when it does happen. Have NOT mastered THAT one yet *L*. Last time it happened I was totally disgusted with myself and merciless on myself and that made it worse--on myself and those around me. So, first order of business: Forgive yourself. So you are eating less than perfectly right now. That's okay. This too shall pass.

Now, as to what to eat to help you feel better and stay compliant, here are a few ideas, hard as they are to implement when you are down deep in that hole, I know so well, but here they are anyway, maybe they will light up the ladder so that you can climb out:

1. Fish, baby, fish! I've been eating salmon lately since I last got outta the hole. I've been feeling VERY steady and great since starting this. Then again, this is the "steady and great" part of my monthly cycle--haven't been into the danger zone yet and I'm frankly pretty scared about it, but so far so good. I think the EFA's in the salmon are what my particular brain chemistry needs to straighten it out, simply put. That oversimplifies it probably more than a little, but the EFA's--while not the whole "answer", are at least part of it for me. Plus you get protein in the package, too, which is beneficial in satisfying your hunger as well.
2. Focus on proteins, leafy green veggies, broccoli, other veggies, and some fruit and nuts/seeds. For starchy carbs, have sweet potatoes, squash, etc. NO WHEAT. NO wheat. As for other grains, I alternate between thinking the following: a.) Don't eat any at all when feeling shaky because they can trigger cravings for more and more; or b.) Allow yourself to eat the allowable grains like 100% rye toast and/or rice, because since you are shaky and going to eat/crave starch anyway, at least let it be compliant. I went with option "b" this last go round and it helped me climb out.
3. Check in with the message board often. It helps one to keep focus and feel supported.
4. Last but not least, exercise, exercise, EXERCISE. Can't say enough about this. Better than any drug for depression, balances out our hormones, oxygenates the body, etc.

Good luck. Here's a sample of what you could eat in a day, assuming first that you are doing grains, second that you aren't:

SAMPLE MENU #1: Includes grains

Breakfast: Two slices of 100% rye toast w/100% organic cherry all-fruit spread and butter.

Lunch: Baby rommaine salad w/fresh grilled salmon (dressing for salad could be olive oil and lemon, or sesame oil and lemon).

Dinner: Organic ground beef, tomato sauce, and onion casserole with steamed kale on the side.

SAMPLE MENU #2: No grains

Breakfast: Fruit smoothie made w/100% pineapple juice, frozen blueberries, almondbutter, and bit of concord grape concentrate

Lunch: Egg salad. Carrot soup made with steamed carrots blended into some chicken broth.

Dinner: Lamb chops, steamed brocolli, and carmelized onions.