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BTD Forums  /  Nonnie Clubhouse  /  Nonnies: Do you feel like a social guinea-pig?
Posted by: Seraffa, Thursday, August 15, 2013, 8:58am
Hi Nonnies, is it just me or are we also the social guinea-pigs/canaries of the world too....do we wind up hiding from more people
Posted by: Amazone I., Thursday, August 15, 2013, 9:39am; Reply: 1
sorry Seraffa, I don't get your phrase here :B what is the true meaning  ??) (blush)(shrug)
Posted by: Goldie, Thursday, August 15, 2013, 11:31am; Reply: 2
Ha-ha Amazone I ....ha-ha, usually You are the one that makes me read your posts twice ha-ha...

Seraffa.... No, not really, but I am interested in many things and so when I stick my neck out like a turtle might, I often wish I could have seen the world from a place of safety.  I find the world a place that seems not to be able to live without 'them' sweating all the small stuff.  I am a fixer, I wish to live to make a difference, to contribute to life and to lend a hand, it comes natural to me, but in doing so I then have stuck out my neck, and it usually costs me way more than I intended.  I used to be an eagle flying free, then a rabid going every where with my nose leading the way, or a chicken scratching at the surface looking for the cause, but today I feel turtle like, I laid my eggs and I am tired... Ha-ha
      
Posted by: Amazone I., Thursday, August 15, 2013, 11:47am; Reply: 3
;) ;D but you're swiss descendant ;)  ;D ;D(hehe)(hehe)(smile)(whistle)... :X

perhaps would you want to give me a little glimps of translation here :D... thanx in advance....(smarty)(clap)(smile)
Posted by: Chloe, Thursday, August 15, 2013, 2:17pm; Reply: 4
I might have misunderstood the subject of this thread.....but from my perspective.....

....this probably has nothing to do with being a nonnie.  My husband is a nonnie and socially very
adaptable and far more outgoing than I am.  My daughter in law is a nonnie and never stays home...
is always out with friends....always fits into a large group and is always having a good time.

Does your question have anything to do with the way nonnies eat vs secretors?  If so, my nonnie
husband manages his diet very well....and we both feel that we're outsiders when we we're with people
who are eating anything and everything but we still manage to stick to our own diets.

As for "hiding"....I'm more likely to be reclusive than my nonnie family members and I'm a secretor....so from my perspective this tendency has to do with a different genetic component.  In my family, I have a lot of super outgoing people....plus a few of us are rather reserved. I feel a closer
kindred spirit to the more reserved family members....so I wouldn't call it
"hiding"....I'm rather selective who I spend time with....and actually, enjoy my own company as I
have a lot of interests that don't include being with others....I feel I was wired this way from birth..

Also, I can manage my stress level a lot better when I'm alone. I see it as a coping mechanism....
too many people, too much noise, too much chaos and I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

I guess for me, it's about peace and quiet....I like a lot of that!
Posted by: Amazone I., Thursday, August 15, 2013, 2:23pm; Reply: 5
thanx Chloé for that interpretation.. I only can say... I'll join in here as well, your description fits me well  :D
Posted by: Averno, Thursday, August 15, 2013, 3:34pm; Reply: 6

Chloe, you may as well have been describing me, too.

I find it difficult to be social when not feeling well, and I imagine nonnies feel unwell a lot of the time. I thank this forum for allowing me to understand that it wasn't normal being this way. The solution of course, is to be ever vigilant about our diets, and to heal the big picture in the long term. It's working wonders for me.
Posted by: Amazone I., Thursday, August 15, 2013, 4:19pm; Reply: 7
;)(clap)(ok)(dance)(smarty) :K)
Posted by: Enobattar, Thursday, August 15, 2013, 4:29pm; Reply: 8
Quoted from Chloe
I might have misunderstood the subject of this thread.....but from my perspective.....

As for "hiding"....I'm more likely to be reclusive than my nonnie family members and I'm a secretor....so from my perspective this tendency has to do with a different genetic component.  In my family, I have a lot of super outgoing people....plus a few of us are rather reserved. I feel a closer
kindred spirit to the more reserved family members....so I wouldn't call it
"hiding"....I'm rather selective who I spend time with....and actually, enjoy my own company as I
have a lot of interests that don't include being with others....I feel I was wired this way from birth..

Also, I can manage my stress level a lot better when I'm alone. I see it as a coping mechanism....
too many people, too much noise, too much chaos and I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

I guess for me, it's about peace and quiet....I like a lot of that!


Exactly, Chloe.  You are describing me to a tee!  But I am a nonnie.....  Must be something else as you say.
Posted by: prunella, Saturday, August 17, 2013, 8:57pm; Reply: 9
Ditto for me. Chloe nailed it.  When I feel well, I am more social, but also more productive with solitary tasks that interest me. .
I am a nonnie, introvert, although I like most people.
Was there a thread relating secretor status to the enneagram?
Posted by: yaeli, Sunday, August 18, 2013, 4:05am; Reply: 10
Quoted from Amazone I.
;)(clap)(ok)(dance)(smarty) :K)
ditto!

Posted by: ruthiegirl, Sunday, August 18, 2013, 8:07pm; Reply: 11
I'm an introvert. I do enjoy spending time with people, but it drains me- I need quiet time to recharge after socializing a lot. My son is an extrovert; while he enjoys quiet time, he also needs to spend time with people in order to feel energized.

I've gotten quite good at just drinking seltzer and/or water in social settings where there's plenty of food but nothing "safe" for me. I'm definitely more sensitive to "trace amounts of toxins in foods" than any of my kids, and I have to be more careful of what I eat. I can't have "one cheat meal" without being sick for the next week or even month- while Jack and Leah have zero consequences from a single "cheat meal" and Hannah may be "out of sorts" for a day or two afterwards. All of them choose to eat "whatever" in some social settings, which I can't afford to do.

But it's not my diet that limits my social interactions. When I want to be social, I'm fine with "eat before I go" and then hang out with a drink (water or seltzer) while others eat. I just don't like being social all that often.
Posted by: Goldie, Sunday, August 18, 2013, 10:39pm; Reply: 12
I had many a hard time in social settings where family is involved.  Friends took me for the way I was but family, especially one member that thinks her self 'perfect' made time spent in that setting a near hell.  

It was and is unpleasant to be measured or to be in need of changing whatever, and not worth the value of what I got out of it.  It’s not worth it to try to change them or me; I am me and have never changed for others.  

I found that any change I would attempt, would not work any how. Its not worth it to fret, I vote with my feet and if I am alone watching on old movie I rather do that then dealing with anyone who will not admire or care or understand me.  

In the end my voting with my feet thought others how far to push me and let go, as time thought them, that they where not more right than I was , and later a truths has developed, uneasy the way it is, but never the less a truth in living and let live. Aging over decades helped a lot.

Being with people that have no other use for you other then to vent their frustrations is a waste of time. It costs too much in inner peace.  And in the end no one ever changes.  Only the tone becomes muted, but the pain does not, nor does the original thinking about things.  People do not change.  I have not changed over the years.

I still wish I would find those who think like me.  I did find some, and they are worth their weight in gold... I thank them for making my life better.  -All other- well they need to live their own life and do as they need to.  

I do not think it has anything to do with being nonnie.  But being healthier with BTD is a means to make the emotions stronger / to find my voice health helps, not to forget how much more money I have since I do not spend all of it with doctors. .    
Posted by: Enobattar, Monday, August 19, 2013, 2:31pm; Reply: 13
Quoted from ruthiegirl
I'm an introvert. I do enjoy spending time with people, but it drains me- I need quiet time to recharge after socializing a lot. My son is an extrovert; while he enjoys quiet time, he also needs to spend time with people in order to feel energized.

I've gotten quite good at just drinking seltzer and/or water in social settings where there's plenty of food but nothing "safe" for me. I'm definitely more sensitive to "trace amounts of toxins in foods" than any of my kids, and I have to be more careful of what I eat. I can't have "one cheat meal" without being sick for the next week or even month- while Jack and Leah have zero consequences from a single "cheat meal" and Hannah may be "out of sorts" for a day or two afterwards. All of them choose to eat "whatever" in some social settings, which I can't afford to do.

But it's not my diet that limits my social interactions. When I want to be social, I'm fine with "eat before I go" and then hang out with a drink (water or seltzer) while others eat. I just don't like being social all that often.


This is me to a "T" with the exception that in eating a cheat meal I will respond as your Hannah.  But that rarely happens anymore since I'm working on getting over this arthritis.  I just do as you do.... eat ahead of the event.  If the event is earlier in the day, I bring a 'hold-over' snack in my purse.  BTW my husband is just like your son!  Opposites we are, with him being a A+ sec. and me an A+ non.
Posted by: unclepaul, Thursday, November 7, 2013, 7:22pm; Reply: 14
   I'm an extravert and do ok in small groups and with people who I am familiar with, but because of health issues related to secretor status I also need time by myself usually a camping trip to the mountains alone. Large crowds stress me out, don't really like sporting events, concerts or crowded parties, or bars my blood type O wife is much the same but she is an introvert so were a good match. One thing about me is my inability to conform its not that I don't follow societies laws its that  I am independent and just want to be left to my own devices, if most people are doing the same in thing to be doing right now I will go another direction. Don't really want to be a leader but am not a follower or joiner either. My wife smirks at some old report cards of mine from middle school, it seems this nonconformity thing was a common complaint from my teachers. I don't think I learned to be this way its just who I am. Have an older sister and younger brother who don't have the same health problems I've dealt with for decades and are more conforming and introverted. As far as diet goes I have trouble convincing family that yes my almond milk is fine with cereal and that spelt bread taste good and how good lamb is, even my wife, who eats many avoids for her blood/ genotype and doesn't have the same reactivity as me. Have been combining the explorer diet and nonnie diet with positive results lately seems my genotype might not be spot on teacher as I originally thought. Would probably join a nonnie support group if there was such a thing though as I do like talking to people who can relate and not look at ya like you're crazy, I stopped trying to explain to doctors who don't know squat even naturopaths who think they no more than Dr. D, about my secretor status and related problems matter of fact I don't go to the doctor at all, from experience I can pretty much take care of myself. Alright I'm done blabbing. Take care everybody.
Posted by: Adopted4, Friday, November 8, 2013, 9:41pm; Reply: 15
I have 1 confirmed nonnie in my family, my 17 year old B- explorer-like son. He is very extroverted, loves to be the center of attention in social circles, and leads groups with ease. As a child he never liked to sleep much, always wanted to be up early because he never wanted to miss anything. He always enjoys large gatherings and outings and generally doesn't have a problem fitting in. He is a bit quirky and awkward but that's probably because of his explorerness. Perhaps it's his gypsy blood that makes him a born entertainer.

His twin brother, who is probably a secretor, is also social and flexible but more introverted and doesn't like to lead but follow.

Interesting topic folks!
Posted by: Lola, Friday, November 8, 2013, 10:44pm; Reply: 16
I feel unique ;)
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