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BTD Forums  /  Live Right 4 Your Type  /  "Oh No, Not Again!" and, A Narrow Escape....
Posted by: Seraffa, Sunday, July 29, 2012, 10:30pm
I skipped coming back here yesterday because of the broken MIFI stick, and all the chaos that the B boss's office is undergoing: we just lost the only other employee we had to "mind the store" - the reason being (said employee told me) was that "the boss did not pay him."

BOTTOM LINE: As much as I am enamoured by the independence and flexibility of B's -- I had to literally beg my muslim boss in a very soft tone of voice for gas money to go along with my measly little $300 paycheck. That really raised a red flag for me, although he says he likes talking with me, and to "please don't be angry at him" when the unexpected happens. ( I think this would be a little more appropriate if, say, I were his second wife or something, but I'm not!)  NOW -- suddenly this week, I'm expected to be in the store 10 hours a day until he hires a 3rd person????  (that was like my last s#%t job I hated so much!)  I texted him today to please cover the store after 5 - that 10 hours leaves me no time to take care of myself or my mother, for that matter.

EFFECT ON ME:  Horribly bad! Did not exercise last 2 days, in scrambling to try and "keep things normal at home" - which I could NOT, since I had to be at Starbucks each time I wanted to get on the net. The MIFI sick is being replaced free of charge for me tomorrow by my provider - thank God. An $80 savings because I truly didn't have the $80 to spare.

What I want to solve is the time my new boss is robbing me of, and draw a fair boundary - even make a new contract with him. A friend of mine says I can try an agreement with him to the tune of : "Let me show you what I can do in 30 days to learn the whole business, so that you can have me as your right-hand backup person; in return, you can keep me in the store 10 hours a day if that's  you want....but put me on a straight pay of $12 per hour. No commissions. You keep the rest of the sales profits."

I am being paid $7.25 an hour on a weekly "draw" of $300. (contract labor)


A NARROW ESCAPE: Today, the damns literally broke in my body as cortisol went spilling uncontrollably into my system. I had to throw everything chemical at it that I could this afternoon: lots of turkey dogs, a dark chocolate bar, Rescue Remedy, compliant granola bars........then a big Tazo Tea "Calm" made with chamomile. ( I have a big, full tummy right now.)

I HAVE NOT VOMITED.

I have learned A LOT today, as an A Nonnie Bulimic: I have learned that when this ugly monster raises its head, the way to fight it is, curiously enough, with a compliant "starch" that contains SOME gluten in it. Not gluten-free, but SOME gluten in it. What the connection is, I do not know! But it works.

I also know now,without a doubt, and down at my core, that genetic bulimic binging response truly is an out-of-balance body struggling against rising Tsunami of cortisol; cortisol is the "absolute" AVOID poison of the body! The ingesting of the extra food into one's body is the "safety" mechanism of the bulimic brain and the ghrehlin flooded intestine; a primitive (yet ineffective?) attempt to get the food itself to absorb the overflowing cortisol levels, and eventually excrete them out of the body. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE MEDICAL FIELD TO UNDERSTAND. The only difference now between myself and an active binge-vomiter is: the binge-vomiter has either AVOIDS "or" CORTISOL OVERLOAD "or" both in their system at once. The latter is CERTAIN DEATH for a bulimic through choking, tissue and vessel hemmorage, chronic electrolyte imbalance, heart enlargement, etc. However, simple "cortisol overload" is a much slower death...and BOTH ARE CURABLE. THERE IS LIGHT AND HOPE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL FOR ALL BULIMICS. And we need to keep spreading the word about this, if we want everyone at risk to not wind up on psychiatric medications for this disease for the long term. There is a time and place for pharmeceuticals to temporarily correct the distressed brain of the bulimic.....but ultimately there is THE CURE. And the cure is happening RIGHT NOW. The cure is "here."


MY UPCOMING WEEK: I picked up all my tinned sardines in water, and my exclusively wild-caught canned salmon this afternoon along with my spelt flour......just need my cans of Fava beans, Pinto beans, veggies and fruit.....and a few casserole and crockpot recipies to put on this evening as I mow a portion of our large lawn for mom and I......then it's off to bed, with the new MIFI stick arriving tomorrow or (at latest) Tuesday. "Security blanket" at the touch of a button.

I "WILL" GET THROUGH THIS WITH PEACE AND CALM....!
Because I will it to be so....
and because I know this disease has a cure,
even if it takes time to learn.
Shakes and terrors must only be part of the withdrawl of the sufferer.

Thank God for chamomile, flowers, herbs, and Dr. D this Sunday (pray) +
Posted by: ruthiegirl, Sunday, July 29, 2012, 10:37pm; Reply: 1
((HUGS)))
Posted by: Seraffa, Sunday, July 29, 2012, 10:48pm; Reply: 2
Quoted from ruthiegirl
((HUGS)))


((((((am still here, Ruthie)))) half cry/ half smile; just very tired now.  :B
I'm ordering a second round of chamomile for EVERYONE here. on the boards.  :)
Cheers, friends.  :K)
Posted by: Possum, Sunday, July 29, 2012, 10:52pm; Reply: 3
Hey Seraffa - good for you sticking up for yourself... Tell me - where did you post about the MIFI stick?
Posted by: grey rabbit, Sunday, July 29, 2012, 10:52pm; Reply: 4
Hang in there, you can do it!
Posted by: deblynn3, Monday, July 30, 2012, 1:36am; Reply: 5
best thoughts going your way.  {{{{hugs}}}}}
Posted by: wanthanee, Monday, July 30, 2012, 8:47pm; Reply: 6
(((HUGS)))   :K) ;D :D
Posted by: Chloe, Monday, July 30, 2012, 11:24pm; Reply: 7
Oh Seraffa....so sorry for you having to deal with new obstacles...but you CAN get through
this...and your resolve seems very strong...We're always here for you....Hang in there....{{{{{hugs}}}}}
Posted by: cajun, Tuesday, July 31, 2012, 12:47am; Reply: 8
Sending hugs and keeping you in prayer. ;) You are strong. I have faith in your abilities! ;)
Posted by: Seraffa, Tuesday, July 31, 2012, 4:08am; Reply: 9
Quoted from Possum
Hey Seraffa - good for you sticking up for yourself... Tell me - where did you post about the MIFI stick?


somewhere...back there...??? *sleepy*
Posted by: Seraffa, Tuesday, July 31, 2012, 4:09am; Reply: 10
((((((((((belated huggggsss)))))))))) will write tomorrow very soon  ;D
you are all a very nice *family* to have  :D
Posted by: Goldie, Tuesday, July 31, 2012, 7:18am; Reply: 11
There is an issue with all such small 7/11 type stores where the respect for womans work is countered by how much the (home) business office demands as pay back for the stay in business opportunity.. you do not count, no matter their words..

A bad scene.. be vigilant and do what is right.  First thing first.. you!  Second thing: You take care of You!  

I am happy that you are learning about YOU!.. good luck..
Posted by: chud, Friday, August 10, 2012, 5:16pm; Reply: 12
Quoted from Seraffa

I "WILL" GET THROUGH THIS WITH PEACE AND CALM....!
Because I will it to be so....
and because I know this disease has a cure,
even if it takes time to learn.
Shakes and terrors must only be part of the withdrawl of the sufferer.

Thank God for chamomile, flowers, herbs, and Dr. D this Sunday (pray) +


I'll have to try the chamomile tea, hadn't thought of that.
My last job was high stress, thank God I'm not working there anymore.  
Best of luck to you.

Quoted from Seraffa


MY UPCOMING WEEK: I picked up all my tinned sardines in water, and my exclusively wild-caught canned salmon this afternoon along with my spelt flour......just need my cans of Fava beans, Pinto beans, veggies and fruit.....and a few casserole and crockpot recipies to put on this evening


Care to share your crockpot recipes?   ;D
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