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Posted by: greenman, Monday, January 24, 2011, 2:36pm
My mother is type O+.
The doctors tell me that she may have had a stroke.
Her right arm and right leg are weaker.
She was hospitalised with Septacemia and UTI's. She was very weak going to hospital and could not walk.
The doctor's discharged her saying this would probably be the norm from now on.
She gets physio once a week.
I want to help her and am wondering if anyone has had experience with this and what exercises is she to do.
At present when she is sitting in  a wheelchair I get her to try to lift her arm and legs, just gently and a few repetitions.
She is also very tired all the time.
Any help is much appreciated.
Posted by: deblynn3, Monday, January 24, 2011, 2:52pm; Reply: 1
My grandmother had a stroke after which she couldn't raise either arm. My mother worked with her as you are your mom. She did get most of range of motion back. It take time and precedence. So never say never. Look for some help online. Hope someone can get thoses for you soon. Just don't give up.  :)
Posted by: greenman, Monday, January 24, 2011, 3:33pm; Reply: 2
Hi Deblynn
Thanks for the reply.
My mother is a very positive person, but this time she is very negative.
She is tired all the time so that probably does not help.
She is frustrated by the lack of progress.
I keep reminding her is that she got walking again before.
I don't think that the virus helped her
Posted by: Lola, Monday, January 24, 2011, 6:46pm; Reply: 3
put her on the right diet for her physiology

fortify her gut ecosystem using the right probiotics and all digestive aids Dr D has designed.....

build up her immune system gradually.....
check out the protocol index if you do not possess an encyclopedia
Posted by: Lola, Monday, January 24, 2011, 6:50pm; Reply: 4
make her bone broth with all the right grains and can even puree it,
turn it into a creamy consistency.......this will slowly build her lack of nutrient.....add good fats etc......she needs to lift her mood
Posted by: Victoria, Monday, January 24, 2011, 7:22pm; Reply: 5
Speak to the Physical Therapist and get recommendations for what exercises would help, and that way you can also help to continue the progress the PT is starting each week.  Best for continuity;  you'll see the best results this way.  And strength will certainly return if the muscles are used.

Lola's suggestion of bone broth soup is excellent!!  I'll give you my recipe, which helped to rebuild my health after a serious illness, and I still eat it several times a week.

Get some beef knuckle bones from the butcher;  the best quality you can find, grass-fed is best, regular organic grain-fed is next best choice.  Otherwise get whatever you can find.  Put a double handful in a big pot or crock pot.  Simmer on the lowest heat for 8 to 12 hours.  Lola likes to add a squeeze of lemon toward the end to help bring out the minerals.  I just take mine off the heat because citrus gives me heartburn.

Strain this broth and chill.  Then toss the heavy layer of fat that rises to the top.  This stock will gel in the fridge.  It is rich in collagen and countless minerals that are good for the bones, tendons, ligaments and nerves.

In a big pot, saute a big red onion and a handful of peeled garlic cloves in a couple spoonfuls of ghee.  Add some chopped portabella mushrooms and keep stirring until wilted.

Pour on the beef stock.  For 1/2 gallon of soup, you can start with 1 quart of stock and add more later on if needed.

Add several cups of chopped vegetables that are beneficial for type O's.  Remember that it is the beneficials that heal and strengthen and that is what she needs right now.  Add some ginger and any other favorite spices for type O.

When the heat comes up to bubbling, reduce to low.  Meanwhile chop two or three cups of leafy green vegetables that are type O beneficial. And cut some lamb, beef or buffalo into small chunks.

When the other veggies are nearly done, add the greens, meat and a spoonful of dry parsley and dry basil (or use fresh).  Salt to taste with a good quality sea salt.  Pour on a Tb or so of extra virgin olive oil.  

Cover and simmer until the meat and greens are cooked.

After soup is done and has cooled a bit, blend it all to make a creamy consistency.  You can freeze in small portions and keep some refrigerated so it is always available.
Posted by: Amazone I., Monday, January 24, 2011, 8:07pm; Reply: 6
would implement l'acetyl-carnitin.... mg, B-complex .....(pray) all the best for your mum ..... :)
Posted by: geminisue, Monday, January 24, 2011, 10:51pm; Reply: 7
I'm surprised, her doctor, did not order home physical therapy.  They just sent her home, with no instructions, on what to do to improve her quality of life?

When working with her, have her draw in a breath of air, and when lifting, let out the air, through pierced lips, have her tighten the muscles, as she is lifting, also.
This will make them stronger.

You may also talk to the doctor, about water physical therapy, it is usually done in a three foot wide by maybe 12 foot long, usually have a hydralic lift chair to lower or raise the person, in and out of it, and if necessary, someone will be in the water with her, but usually they are on the side, directing her on what to do to build everything up again.  It is so much easier in the water.
Posted by: Maja, Monday, January 24, 2011, 10:59pm; Reply: 8

Find a copy of the book, The Brain Which  Changes Itself by Norman Doidge . . .

In it one of the docs talks about helping to rehabilitate his father after a stroke . . the doctors, aka experts were all quite negative.  This man did what you are doing -- intensively -- lots of personal attention, basic, basic exercises . . gradually increasing.   Over time his father recovered full or almost full capabilities.

The outlook for stroke sufferers is much brighter than in the past, but primary care docs may not be focussed or have the time to provide guidance.

Keep up your faith and your efforts.

Good luck.

Maja :)

Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, January 25, 2011, 10:26am; Reply: 9
Thanks for all your replies. will definitely investigate the book by Norman Doidge, checked it out on line and it seems really interesting.
I will try the broth, it will probably be good for me anyway, as I admit that I find this stressful.
The doctors just sent her home as they had 'managed' the virus. They did not give a reason for the lack of movement, it was the gp who said that she probably had a stroke. Unfortuneately, this is Ireland where our medical system is crazy (this would be for another thread, fills radio programs each day and still nothing is done).
Her appetite is very poor at present and she is very tired. They have her on nitrofurantoin which is a form of antibiotic, which means that she has been on antibiotics for 5 weeks now.
Thanks again I find all posters on this forum to be genuinely interested and want to help.
I hope that I can return the favour again
Posted by: Chloe, Tuesday, January 25, 2011, 3:53pm; Reply: 10

There is an awesome series I've seen on public TV .....exercises while seated.
Posted by: Vicki, Tuesday, January 25, 2011, 4:22pm; Reply: 11
Do you know anyone who has an iPad?  The iPad could help get her moving her weak side while being engrossing/entertaining.  

For instance:
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, January 25, 2011, 8:47pm; Reply: 12 ---excellent web  site describes exercises I was looking for guidance as to what were the best exercises. We don't get pbs in Ireland unfortuneately.
Don't have an ipad--but I am trying with simple questions from easy crosswords.
A problem that she has is that she is tired all the time so finds everything hard work--I don't know if the tiredness is from stroke?? or body repairing itself from septacemia or the new medication--I know the doctors don't know because they just dodge my questions. I get more help on this forum than the medical team!!
She is also very frustrated with her progress and tired so she works herself into a tizzy and is very down about her condition.
Thanks again you are all marvellous and I appreciate the interest that you have in my problem
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 4, 2011, 12:38am; Reply: 13
hi all
I appreciate all the help.
My mother is worse on her right than her left.
She is not walking now at all and is flopping alot.
Any advice is appreciated
Thank you
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 4, 2011, 12:46am; Reply: 14
just for some more information whenI liftr her right leg if is hery light.
He left leg is very heavy.
Posted by: Lola, Friday, February 4, 2011, 12:48am; Reply: 15
I believe she is being supervised by competent Drs?

what strategies will they adopt?

who cooks for her?
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 4, 2011, 12:48am; Reply: 16
sorry i gotmy left and right mixed up.
Her left leg is light AND
her right leg is very heavy
sheis O + and on aspirin as a blood thinner
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 4, 2011, 12:50am; Reply: 17
lola I am not happt with docs but this is what I have to have to [ut up with.
Her appetite is still low. I think that is still due to seticemia. But I do not know. This is ireland where no doc will answer you
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, February 4, 2011, 2:10am; Reply: 18
Here I would go to the internet to look for stroke care giving and find groups that will help you.. The reason doctors don't answer is that they don't know.. find a good nurse and they will tell you more about what is to be expected.

I hear in your voice here that you are getting tired, frustrated as much as your mom is also.. how old is mom, do you 2 live alone or are there support people and systems available.  do you get respite? a break?

when mom became ill it was relatively easy for me to accept that every day would be a gift.  Mom lived to 91.. I knew she could be ill everyday of my life as she was 29 when I was one year old and she got cancer... Then when she became 80 she got another cancer, and again the answer I felt was that every day is one more gift.  Mom did well enough after her surgery and lived another 10 years without issues,but needing help.. then after 90 she got her last cancer from which she was not expected to recover- she was expected to live weeks she lived 8 month.. .  We had many things to get used to and I could loose patience like any one.. it was worth to have a sister who would help when I needed a break.. that is important.

I stopped asking doctors how long anything will take, years before when I was my self in pain,, they did not know, and all they could to is try to encourage me but that was more frustrating then anything..I wished for truth and saying: "I don't know" THAT would have been welcome.      

Having explained this is not much of on answer but frustration is going from one to the other, mom feels it and feels bad, and then feels frustrated with her self and you..

It pays to say some things to mom when there is no anger present.  like I needed for my mom to know that I would hear everything she said to me at night .. and I could do anything she needed to do for her, and go back to sleep.. but would she please not make me talk OUT LOUD at night, as then after I talked, then I could not fall a sleep for three hours.  stuff like that is important.. sit where she sits and see how it feels for eyes and posture..drafts and heat and seeing what is going on in the rest of the house..see it and feel it from her point of experience..

as for exercises.. fun stuff.. walking while you hold her up on her weak side.. walkers for me are poison they are to deep and become a crutch.. I like a tall broom stick on one side and you on the other much better.

The weight training of what she can lift is great no matter what it is .. my mom used her walking stick as a balancing stick.. holding it high above her head, balancing on one finger.. pushing it in the air, holding it overhead, if need be with help on the beginning.

Breathing in and out .. OUT even more then IN is more important.. like panting when giving birth.. it takes less effort to breath out .. breathing IN is automatic.. no need to stress trying to lift your lungs.. just breathing out is exercise..

looking at pictures old photos and telling you the story behind each picture.. why when or where by who.. good for the brain..

folding laundry for mom is good. walking from the back to the front.. so long as the walls are not to far away.. I never let mom walk alone no matter how short her walk.. and even then she slipped out of my hands and fell.. sorry was a word I often used..

Putting pillows behind moms back will relieve her body stress trying to hold her in position.. especially when going to sleep.  puffing pillows is a good feeling.. ironed sheets feels so nice when one goes to bed..

place the ironboard low in front of mom as a table.. and if she can let her iron..makes her feel useful..

give her as much news as you can think of.. if she enjoys tv then have it on in all places she is comfortable in.. get a bell for when she needs to get your attention..

never stress your self stress will make you ill.. if need be come here and vent  or email me..

make sure she is comfortable in her underwear.. the diapers she may need are uncomfortable and it is easy to get rashes that hurt a lot.. if need be discuss with me privatley..

medications and or certain things can cause thrush/candida/footfungis. that is painful and needs great attention long before mom tongue is s sign, red bottom the same..soft nightgowns forher arms not to rub..  

I think aspirins are safer then not.. until Dr D says differently here..         

looking for any answer to question is a good thing.. hope my post is not to long.

now that mom is gone I wish she was still here .. she gave me much self worth and  a reason to want to help others with what I know..
Posted by: Lola, Friday, February 4, 2011, 4:03am; Reply: 19
building a strong digestive system is key....
polyflora and deflect as well as intrinsa for butyric acid
you can feed her bone broth, veggies, good fiber

fruit smoothies with ara powder
veggie juices with added harmonia and live cell

watch her smile when taking a sip of the hearty soup.....
no one resists that!!! ;)
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 4, 2011, 11:04am; Reply: 20
Hi thanks for your answers. I will reflect on them.
Goldie, what you wrote there was beautiful and made me feel better
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, February 4, 2011, 11:50am; Reply: 21
Lola is right.

food and soup matters..

even as O make mom hearty soup, use oats in a hundred ways.. cook it in soup just a little, in egg drop soup just a little. as a mushy food cook it for a long time, then strain it and just use the mush add peas for color..make ricepudding or use rice in much the same way.. all medicinal..

if mom is in need of losing weight for you to be able to carry her then that is ok,feed her less but well.more protein will make her lose weight.. if she needs to gain for strength she can have other foods like chocolates in all form..  if she is not diabetic and has no other issues then cooked fruit is great food as it slips down.

good food for her is important, but favorite foods she realy likes is ok some days when she needs papmering, just use smaller dishes and bowls for the less then beneficials.. use smaller dishes in the first place. is more friendly.

Quoted Text
My mother is type O+.
The doctors tell me that she may have had a stroke.  
Her right arm and right leg are weaker.HOW OLD IS SHE



The doctor's discharged her saying this would probably be the norm from now on.


I want to help her and am wondering if anyone has had experience with this and what exercises is she to do.


Any help is much appreciated.
Posted by: greenman, Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 1:12pm; Reply: 22
Hi just to update.
I know I sounded frustrated but I wwas worried about mother.
She was gradually getting worse and weaker with some pain. No movement at all.
Medics were advising that I had to accept that dementia was setting in.
I told them that when she talked to me that she was fine just very tired.
I was annoying the medics and I fought my corner.
Yesterday she got worse. GP would not come out. Got out of hours doctor to look at her.
One look and he said she needs an operation.
At 2a.m. this morning
she had an operation on her pancreas. Was told if it was left for another 24 hours well you know the rest.
She is stable in ICU now.
Thanks again for all the answers and help, I seem to get more help and support here than from her so called medical team.
I think that they missed all this in their diagnosis when she was in hospital last month, and put all her symptoms down to a 'stroke' because she was old.
I never met a ND but I doubt if one would have given up that easily.
Posted by: Maria Giovanna, Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 1:42pm; Reply: 23
Greenman , bravo  you could have saved her life with these last doctors who decided and performed the pancreas surgery she needed, a prayer for you both and who helps you !
Posted by: Goldie, Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 2:29pm; Reply: 24
what type of surgery on the pancreas??

.. as for doctors coming to the house .. never happen here.. would never expect it .. way to time consuming and for serious stuff they can not do anything at home ..  always take her to the doctor or urgent care ..  that is why the wheelchair helps ...

Diabetes can mimic dementia.. so maybe she will be better now.  read all that I wrote above again.. you will need to learn more..  including about maybe a fooly which has advantages and disadvantages.. ask the nursing assistants to teach you what they know.

frustration is natural.. come here for relive.. standing your ground is important but you also have to be ready to hear truth that is unspoken..

All the best..  
Posted by: Lola, Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 10:57pm; Reply: 25
your love and support are key!
Posted by: greenman, Thursday, February 10, 2011, 11:09am; Reply: 26
what type of surgery on the pancreas??

she had a large abscess on the bottom of the pancreas which burst.
Thanks for all the support and help
Posted by: Goldie, Thursday, February 10, 2011, 1:17pm; Reply: 27
where they able to save her pancreas? or was the surgery to clean up the spill?  

what did they say is going to happen now.. is mom feeling better ?

I am interested in knowing.. if you don't mind. lots of reasons, least of which I wish you all the BEST.. goldie
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 11, 2011, 12:26am; Reply: 28
Hi Goldie thanks for your concern.
Just to update she has not really woken yet.
So far they have saved her pancreas. But in fairness which I appreciate is that they tell me that they do not know what the next step is or how they will handle it. i know that sounds strange but we have been told so many lies before a bit of honesty is always appreciated, she is still in intestive care in the hospital. As I have said previously which I think you agree with is that by branding an old age person with demenitia evn though I was telling them that she was coherant was a cop out for the medical profession.
I always thought that medicine was a vocatio but now I doubt it, es there are wonderful people in the system but the others?!? well you know the rest
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 11, 2011, 12:27am; Reply: 29
ps goldie when I get any answers I will post them all.
they just cleaned up the spill
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, February 11, 2011, 1:57am; Reply: 30
Thanks ,, I wish you all the best..
Posted by: Lola, Friday, February 11, 2011, 3:14am; Reply: 31
may she stabilize favorably from this ordeal

then you can work on getting her immune system up to speed
Posted by: DoS, Friday, February 11, 2011, 6:06pm; Reply: 32
Get her Methyl B12, ARA6, and CoQ10. Polyflora O would be very smart but can do little while on antibiotics.

I am with Lola on the bone broth with vegetables. Red meat should be introduced as soon as she can handle it. The intestines need to be flourishing for good recovery. In order to do well they need regular red meat and vegetables.

*B12 is usually low in people with chronic issues. She is going to be absorbing stuff poorly. The poor gut flora from lack of red meat and antibiotics is going to mean her body has to continually repair the intestines which requires lots of B12. Also outside of the intestinal issue the heart has a very hard time without good levels of B12.

*ARA6 helps build the ecosystem inside the gut, and supports adrenals.

*CoQ10 has powerful properties for helping support the heart etc. The numbers of CoQ10 get lower as we age past 20 or so.  If she is on any kind of beta blocker medication it will significantly lower her CoQ10.

Here are the Dr. D'Adamo protocols for fighting bacteria.
Posted by: greenman, Monday, February 14, 2011, 8:55pm; Reply: 33
Quoted from Goldie
where they able to save her pancreas? or was the surgery to clean up the spill?  

what did they say is going to happen now.. is mom feeling better ?

I am interested in knowing.. if you don't mind. lots of reasons, least of which I wish you all the BEST.. goldie

Hi Goldie just to update re pancreas.
They thought that it was an abscess of the pancreas as it had burst but they could see that part of it was attached to the narrow end of the pancreas, however, this is all related from the uti (septecemia) that she had at christmas and a large stone in the ureter. They think that a combination of the stone and uti casued the abscess of the kidney which got big and attached itself to the end pancreas. They discovered the stone through a ct scan, and would have done something about it but did not have time for a ct scan the night of the operation as they did not have time, they just wanted to go in! and I am grateful that they did.
She has had complications since, the kidney, the septecemia is back and the right lung collaspsed.
They took her off support and this lead to some of the complications.
However she is a fighter (Type O+) and she is hanging in their.
Thanks again for all your good wishes and support.
Lots of love
Posted by: Jane, Monday, February 14, 2011, 9:29pm; Reply: 34
What a awful time you've both been through.  Glad to hear that she's a fighter.  That certainly will help.  Wishing you both the best.  Wish I had some answers.  I've had my own frustrations with the medical system.  My father went in for a relatively routine procedure several years ago at one of the best hospitals in the world and he never came out.  My mother is 91 and has dementia - Alzheimer's.  The other day she told me she just can't remember anything and didn't realize that she is 91.  She asked me why she had lived that long......
Hopefully, she'll make a good recovery.  You are a very loving and caring son and that means a lot.
Posted by: Goldie, Monday, February 14, 2011, 10:36pm; Reply: 35
mom was in the hospital with complications and after 6 month she recovered..  I wish you all the best.. and god memories building times.  
Posted by: greenman, Monday, February 14, 2011, 10:53pm; Reply: 36
HI Jane, Goldie, All
Thanks again for all your support.
Jane alzheimers is very tough to deal with, I think that there is a thread here for support for alheimers.
Goldie thanks for showing me light at the end of the tunnel.
I got called in last night as she got bad.
I am beside the phone watching re-runs on the comedy channel and staying positive.
Lots of love and support to you all
Posted by: Lola, Tuesday, February 15, 2011, 7:09am; Reply: 37
may she find force to get through this rough patch :)
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, February 15, 2011, 9:23am; Reply: 38
Thanks Lola for your support and kind words
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 18, 2011, 12:53am; Reply: 39
in 7 hours time they are going to put a tube into my mothers ureter above the stone to drain her urine.
she is still draining 2.5 litres from the abscess per day for which they have no answer

for soem reason they want to leave the stob=ne there ??

i hope it goes well.

thanks for all your suppport
Posted by: Lola, Friday, February 18, 2011, 3:55am; Reply: 40
only positive thoughts and blessings coming your way!
Posted by: greenman, Friday, February 18, 2011, 12:32pm; Reply: 41
The could no do the procedure this morning as the abscess had grown again.
The blood was too thin (type O+!!!) and the white blood cell count was too high.
when they tried to move her onto her side the abscess put too much pressure on her kidneys.
I thought that they were going to put a stent in, but this was just for a neprostomy.
They still do not know as to what is making the abscess grow and may have to operate again, I hope they find out.
Thanks again for all the support.
If they get any answers for the abscess I will post
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, February 18, 2011, 12:58pm; Reply: 42
oh sorry.. but hang in there .. you have no choice.. and just be there, moms  nose feeding tube gave me the most worry, I had to say sorry every time i bumped her bed.. but she soon forgot when they took it out after 4 month.. and several operations..

is mom communicating? are you.. just talk to her, or even send a card.. it will make you feel better..  as for them not knowing that is at least honest.. sometimes that is hard to understand.. but they are not god's and we ned to cut them some slack..

eventually they will get to the bottom of it and then healing goes fast..

just make sure mom gets to be turned ever so slightly from side to side .. ad a pillow if you must to let the blood not settle in one spot.. and she then develops bed sores.. very important.. and always wash your own hands coming and going .. tto keep cross contamination to a minimum.. all the best..
Posted by: Lola, Saturday, February 19, 2011, 1:41am; Reply: 43
you need to load up on beneficials to get through the rough times :)
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 11:35am; Reply: 44
just to update, mother is still in hospital.
The abscess keeps growing inside her and is draining at 2 litres (about 4 pints) a day.
The fitted a stent to her ureter to bypass the kidney stone, but this has not had the desired affect yet (it is only in 4 days)
Unfortunately she still is not on soilid foods
I am keeping positive, some of the medical staff keep me informed, some don't like being questioned, as we discussed before they just don't know.
I still do not have any answers as to why the abscess keeps growing
Posted by: Vicki, Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 1:27pm; Reply: 45
You are a blessing to her.
Posted by: Lola, Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 5:30pm; Reply: 46
sorry you are going through this difficult ordeal.
sending positive thoughts and prayer.
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 6:48pm; Reply: 47
thanks to everyone for your good wishes
Posted by: 7596 (Guest), Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 2:04pm; Reply: 48
Adopting a low glutenous grained BTD will lower risk of a repeating stroke greatly.
Be sure to add foods that lower indican levels or block polyamine synthesis. Try egg yolks raw.
Posted by: Goldie, Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 10:06pm; Reply: 49
I would go back to the original doctor and ask him what is going on.. sometimes that would give a clue as to expectations..

in the end my mom had to spend 60 thousands up fron for part of her care.. it worked, but on top of the other 100 thousand before it was a big thing..

some things are time consuming.. growing things are not a good thing.. but I am certain that she is getting good care or she would not be here any more..

how is mom is she out of it? awake , eating on her own, or what.. all that will tell you of her condition more then all the cautious words handled by staff..

it's a hard time you are going through.. but keep up the whatever it takes to make it through the day the night and the tomorrows.. close your eyes for a few seconds.. I am sending you a warm hug.. feel it and feel it any time you ned it..    8)
Posted by: greenman, Thursday, March 3, 2011, 12:06pm; Reply: 50
Hi Goldie
The irish medical system is very frustrating ( The g.p. say that once in hospital it is not their concern).
Mother is very tired but is communicating slighly. I try to talk to her about everyday things, sales in the shops, who I met in town etc as she does not like being asked constantly how are you? have you any pain etc?
If she's tired which is most of the time, it is just a nod or a flick of her eyes to tell me that she understands.
I suppose I have come to accept that the doctors are not too sure as to what to do next as they keep saying that they are doing tests. The abscess is still yielding 4 pints a day which I know is not right.
This means that they cannot put her on her belly or side as the abscess puts too much pressure on internal organs.
Thanks for the hug.
I see the frustrated faces of relatives in the hospital of other patients and see myself mirrored through them. Sometimes I stop and talk with these strangers and all of a sudden it is as if we are in the same club supporting each other like a team which is helpful.
Kindest regards
Posted by: Goldie, Thursday, March 3, 2011, 4:18pm; Reply: 51
I see the draining as maybe a good thing allowing all the puss to leave her body..

I see her wanting peace.. that is ok.. my mom wanted rest, not be alone, but peace, no guilt in your face, no sorrow if she goes today or stays.. it's up to her.. it's up to you to let her make her choices..

I see these times a little phylosophical.. It's my time to make good for all the times I was short in time or patience or underatnding or listening.. I see it as time for me to care as I do, not make believe.. not being afraid of either death or life.. I am sorry only when I was not there to say the many little 'good night's or the last good by..  or the ideas that I am supposed to have done this or that.. or that anyone is guilty.. (not even your medical system) for here if you have no money you would be suffering all sorts of issues.. Like my friend who had to wait 10 days to go the hospital even with a brain infection..and that is while we still have coverage before the current c**p of politicians take it away again) so unless you see glaring issues, don't fret, its life and sometimes living forever is a great pain also..  IF however there is something you can do to improve things then fight and fight hard..  put all your self into it and learn all the reasons why it has not been done before.. deliberate actions like asking a doctor not the why or what.. but what do you think.. and then listen to what is not said and then ask about that which is kept silent for fear that YOU can not handle it..

gods are gods.. doctors are just doctors.. specialist in one or other thing, never all things, some are better curing then talking, some talk and are incapable of hearing.. seeing and makeing the hard choices= one being willing to say: I have no idea..  that might be the biggest gift of all as that frees you to stay with the one person.. sudenly the world opens.. and always remember this will pass also.

Bring mom some pictures/photos she likes .. all the best warm hugs.. always
Posted by: greenman, Friday, March 4, 2011, 12:07pm; Reply: 52
Hi Goldie,
Looks like you've been there what I am going through.
Thanks for your support.
One statement from a doctor yesterday gave me hope when I explained to him that the previous doctors blamed my mothers complaints on 'old age'.
He said 'any doctor who diagnoses a patients complaint on old age is not a doctor in my opinion'
I must say that I admire my mother as she is bravely dealing with this current problem.
I told he last night that I admired her spirit and positiveness, her reply will live with me forever
'That is the only choice'
Thanks again for your support.
Kindest regards
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, March 4, 2011, 2:32pm; Reply: 53
8) one day at a time..

yes mom was in the hospital with colon operations and had 4 operations ever few weeks becasue she just could not eat and digest.. her intestines kefpt getting gnarled and scared.. finally she was operated one more time and then it woked for 10 years.

I am glad you found a doctor you can talk to.. makes all the difference.. as for mom .. a hug from me .. please fluff her pillow.. and when she gets to the place where she can rest a little on one side make sure to put a soft fetter pillow under her back to support her.. if need bring it from home.. in our hosptals here they use bricks for pillows.. in switzerland they ues pink duvet and down fetters.. big difference. hahaha ..  

If your doctors start to chase mom out of bed for walking (important) listen to her.. my mom never walked while woman held her.. she wanted the security of a man.. she had spunck..  
Posted by: 815 (Guest), Friday, March 4, 2011, 8:38pm; Reply: 54
Your mother seriously needs hydration. I sense she is severely dehydrated...hence the UTI's going up into her kidneys.  You need to get water in her. We're talking a couple of liters a day.
I don't understand that generation. My mother was the same way. I think she killed her self from dehydration.
Posted by: kauaian, Friday, March 4, 2011, 9:56pm; Reply: 55
Quoted from greenman
Hi Goldie,
Looks like you've been there what I am going through.
Thanks for your support.
One statement from a doctor yesterday gave me hope when I explained to him that the previous doctors blamed my mothers complaints on 'old age'.
He said 'any doctor who diagnoses a patients complaint on old age is not a doctor in my opinion'
I must say that I admire my mother as she is bravely dealing with this current problem.
I told he last night that I admired her spirit and positiveness, her reply will live with me forever
'That is the only choice'
Thanks again for your support.

Kindest regards

I have tears in my eyes reading this @ work.  Thank goodness I am sitting here alone.  Your mother is a brave lady....reminds me of my mom who never complained.  She had Lupus & was on dialysis.

You are the most caring & wonderful son any woman could ask for.   :K)
Posted by: Lola, Saturday, March 5, 2011, 1:38am; Reply: 56
a wise and courageous woman..... :)
Posted by: greenman, Monday, March 7, 2011, 1:40am; Reply: 57
Look I love you all, the strength and support you have given  me a total stranger is fantastic.
i reciprocate it totally and hope I can return it again. You are all more wonderful than you realise yourselves, and if you read what you wrote to me a total stranger (and now a friend) please give yourselves a treat and a serious pat on the back( beneficial of course).
I feel the pain and love that you all have gone through with your parents/loved ones and appreciate your experiences, you are all helping me with my problem/project at present.
My mother slept through the day. I sat beside her. The nurses said she is a great sleeper. I smiled at them, knowing she is sleeping too much now adn am unhappy with what I see in the collection tubes. Tomorrow to talk to the consultants!!!
Posted by: Lola, Monday, March 7, 2011, 5:11am; Reply: 58
you re both in my prayers.....thanks for being you GM!
Posted by: Goldie, Monday, March 7, 2011, 1:34pm; Reply: 59
my mother used her sleep to heal.. don't mind your moms sleep.. the body only heals while sleeping

also see if -from where she has her eyes- exactly.. does she get blinded from glare of lights and sun or even the shimmer of clouds.. only after I laid my self on the couch where mom was did I reaslize why she always closed her eyes.. painfull glaring in all directions..  

the same driving im my car.. no matter how slow I drove she asked that I slow down, I finally put her in the back seat as that seemed to bother the speed much less.. then I sat where she sat and saw what she felt.. in the driver side the trees  are much closer and feel like flitting passt .. I wish I had been willing to slow down for her to be able to enjoy those trees.. instead I argued.. we learn.. and then we pass our learning on.. it's all I have to offer in my life.. take what you can and leave the rest. good luck  and a hug to you to...  
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 12:41am; Reply: 60
The consulatnt will see me tomorrrow morning at 9am
My questions are
why is the abscess still producing so much?
why is she sotired all teh time?
Her throyroid levels are low now, why is that , is that associated with the antibiotocs(side affect) of what?
How long will she be in hospital?

If anyone has any input as to further questions please add on , as I will appreciate any help!!
Posted by: Goldie, Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 12:59am; Reply: 61

The consulatnt will see me tomorrrow morning at 9am

My questions are
why is the abscess still producing so much?  we have no idea but her body just does not have the strength yet to fight whatever is producing the fluids.. as long as she drains its at least all coming out.. bette rthen fester inside..  

why is she sotired all teh time?  the body heals when its sleeping...

Her throyroid levels are low now, why is that , is that associated with the antibiotocs (side affect) of what?... No idea why, could be some other thing all together..

How long will she be in hospital? when she is getting more stable.. needing less nursing care.. or   when her benefits run out .. or she gets better relatively suddenly once they fix what is ailing her..

If anyone has any input as to further questions please add on , as I will appreciate any help!!
do they have a diagnisis?? a name a label or UNKNOWN a mistery for which only Dr. House has the answer.. (he is fictional on tv here.. he fixes everything..  )

most of all make them be honest and then don't be angry if they hesitate.. we need to train them about how much we can understand or take and deal with.. show them your strength  they will follow your lead.. expect very little.. they need training to be honest..

does it cost you money?  ask the questions you need answers to.. all the best..    
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 9:56pm; Reply: 62
met the consultant today.
He basically said steady as she goes. He is treating everything.
He now does not want to remove kidney stone as he says she will not be able for it and complications could mean that kidney will have to be removed. Stent is in place to take care of left ureter.
I suppose that it is what I expected as they are just treating things and do not know what the big picture is and are afraid of her past medical history.
He could not give me a time span as to when she will be discharged.
Just updating and thanks for the interest and posts of support
Posted by: yaeli, Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 9:57pm; Reply: 63

I understand that they have been considering operating for a long time now, but are most careful with her.

You both are a tremendous source of power to each other.

I add my love and prayers and wishes for success.
Posted by: Goldie, Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 10:23pm; Reply: 64
You did well and continue to show your ability to focus and keep it together.. Mom will lead the way.. all the best..
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 12:33pm; Reply: 65
I know that it has been a while since I posted.
I have kept an eye on the board but have been mostly up in the hospital with my mother.
To update my Mother had a life saving operation because of a kidney abscess and they inserted a stent to by pass a stone in her urethra. She has been recovering.
She was in hospital in december with a UTI and gradually got worse in january and needed the operation.
In hospital she got MRSA ( in hospital in the nose. This cleared up and now it is back in the wounds. (forgot to say that a pot of tea fell on her in hospital and scalded her, and this is the site of one of the mrsa infections).

She still cannot walk-this happened in december.
She has pain on her left side.
She is bothered and anxious the whole time worse at night-this was new since december.
She is tired the whole time-I accept that this is probably due to all that she has been through.
She is suffering from fear.
She feels full the whole time and is refusing food-this is new since december.
She is bother with pain from time to time that moves from her back to her chest to beneath her ribs.
Alot of these symptoms are new and only occured in January after discharge or during the hosptial stay. The general practictioner doctor said it was probably dementia or related to stroke. In the hospital now, they tell me that this is not the case. But tehse symptoms are teh same as what I noticed in January and in my opinion it turned out that they were due to an abscess growing in and around her left kidney to her pancreas.

I originally started this post by saying that she was a 'stroke victim' as this is what the doctor led me to believe in december, however the scans are showing no sign of stroke in december.
She had 2 small tia's on the past which restricted slightly her right side.

My Mother has been in hospital for over 2 months now. They want to discharge her to a Nursing Home. I do not think that she is fit for discharge and have told them. They have not answered any of the problems that she is having above. I get the 'phrase: "It's to be expected" which I believe is a cop-out.

I suppose I am writing this post for 2 reasons one is to update you all as you are so kind and caring and secondly as I have asked for a meeting with the medical team to discuss this problem.
If anyone has any advice of further questions that I put to the hospital team please feel free to post them.

I do not want my mother in hospital, if she needs nursing home care then so be it, however I want her leaving the hospital with a fighting chance of some life rather than the way she is at the moment. I think everybody deserves that.
Posted by: fridge, Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 3:22pm; Reply: 66
best of luck dealing with them. You and your mother are in my prayers
Posted by: ruthiegirl, Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 8:50pm; Reply: 67
((HUGS)) I'm so sorry you have to see your mother decline like this.

Depending on the nursing home, she just might end up with better care than she has in the hospital. Sometimes the nursing homes are better staffed, and the visiting hours are usually a whole lot better!
Posted by: greenman, Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 12:09am; Reply: 68
Thanks Ruthiegirl and fridge for your good wishes.
My feeling now is that they are kicking for touch with my mother and trying to
divert the problem to a nursing home.
It would be a lot easier maybe if they said 'we don't know' what is wrong,
even though I would feel disappointed I might accept that better.
My problem is that I ask about her problems and their prognosis is
'send her to a nursing home'
This will create alot of complications due to commute distance and the fact that she hates them.
Another symptom that she has is that he eyesight goes for maybe 20-30 seconds and only returns gradually.

As I say if there is a problem I will accept it, however, I still want to give her a chance at life.
love to you all
Posted by: PCUK-Positive, Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 12:58am; Reply: 69
Hi Greenman, I must have missed these posts before, good luck from up north, here. My thoughts are with you. how old is your mother. keep talking to your mother when you can even if she is asleep.

Try and get her home once the hospital has  helped her.  

good food, and love is best.

I'm always worried to give advice on such a delicate person, but I i were in the same position. i would settle her for a few days then keep the bone broth on tap. plus blood type probiotics, just one a day. always seeing how they react. nothing to fibrous or starchy either for a few days. if she seems to improve stick with that too. if not try other things. but always keep it simple.

no sugar and little fruit. until you build the good bacteria as it will be all gone after the antibiotics.  always when ill less food is best i think. no potatoes (hard to do in Ireland) but be brave.

let her listen to the radio rather than the television, some old fashion good musik and chat.
Posted by: Goldie, Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 4:02pm; Reply: 70
I am certain that a change of pace is good for mom, it will give her hope that she is getting better.. also some care is different, and might be helpful..

visiting her is important as that will make sure she gets good treatment.. MRSA is contageus, so they will most likely give her a private room and keep her in isolation, meaning gowns and clean all around.. that will help her .. but dont let her be put in with another with MERSA if at all possible..

MRSA takes a long time to get over, it is a bad thing to get (evn for you)  but with open wounds that is nearly a given now in hospitals..

sometimes it is what moves them to treat her better, as it is a black mark against the hospital .. should be a case for a law suit.. but hard to deal with.. it will follow her throughout later stays in hospitals,, make certain she gets private rooms if you can get it.. worth the price if you can pay for it.  

Later make sure you stay healthy, wash your hands often, and give her night gowns that don't rub her elbows raw..  no need for back openings.. this will also make her more willing to move around as the back does not stick out.. later get her dresses that are washable like fabrics that will keep her dressed as soon as possible  with or without a bra..

also they now make stick on glue on bra cups. sawthem together in front .. the clip is to weak.. they are great,30 dollar in US in walmart.. .- , no need to have straps and contraptions.. just paste them where the boobs would be on top - bend her over to pbring the boobs in front instead of elsewhere.. much more comfortable.. and they don't take any care other then washing with soap, so one pair is enough as you don't have to wash them every day, they dry over night .. good for a for a good laugh to..progress..let on AIDE help her to figure it out...

get mom also new under pants that are soft in the waist.. and if need be a small pads she can exchange when she needs to..ladies tend to leak.. is she hving a foli...  Bending over to do her shoes or socks all is difficult.. helping her get dressed is a good thing for her and you.. you will be surprised how her body comes back after a while..

my moms bones where sharp along the shin edges, and boobs where hanging like skinny skin.. but all filled in and mom lived a full life for yars after..

i am glad you updated us.. thanks.. ..  
Posted by: greenman, Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 8:16pm; Reply: 71
thanks very much for your kind words Goldie
I am still worried about her symptoms
Another patient said that some delusion was common with UTI's or MRSA
Posted by: Goldie, Thursday, April 14, 2011, 3:25am; Reply: 72
delusions after surgeyis common for up to 6 month or longer.. urine issues can cause that, but the doctors would know about that. but I guess you just have to stay on top of things. no matter the outcome, no matter what mom will go through .. you need to feel good about what you are doing is good enough and enough no matter what..

but mom needs time, trust her sleeping time to heal, sleeping might cause confusion in what she knows of time of day or place, and so on .. my mom suddenly saw green lines on her arms and scrubbed them off for days, until we where able to convince her that she was not crazy and loosing control, just that her mind / vision was playing tricks on her. it took several people to convince her.

The MRSA I don't know, but it is stressing the body .. but in your country they have not used antibiotics to often so you are less likely to be in danger of nothing working to treat her, so that is a good thing..

her eye sight is a different thing, most likely just a temporay thing,..

I might be less hesitant to let them move her to a nursing home, if they allow you to be staying with her, then learn what they do and valuate what you could offer at home with home health care.. its a fight each family needs to fight, one of the things you might be able to consider, is that taking mom home will "allow" her to be re-admitted after some days, as hospitals sometimes have rules to play with.

ask about that so you know what they say.. keep  sharing your issues, I went through several of them including with a friend who was convinced that she should die alone rather then have someone there.. I was taken so aback that I let it happen, the next time I would confront the hospital staff in front of the dying person, I did not at the time and i feel sorry - but not guilty.. not all things are in my power.. but still I learned a lot ..  

are you the only child for mom,, are there other siblings and involvement..    
Posted by: greenman, Thursday, April 14, 2011, 7:59am; Reply: 73
Thanks for reply.
I am the only one in the family locally who does anything for my mother.
eyesight problems started when she had UTI in december/january.
She does not want to go to nursing home but at present she would not be able to go home as would
need 24 hour care which I cannot supply.
My fear is that in a nursing home she will be left to wither away.
She was in nursing home before and was just left sitting all day.
Anyway I am now waiting on a call from her medical team to come in and talk to them as to why they want to discharge her.
My feeling is that if she were no discharged so quickly in january, she would not have needed a life saving operation in december
Posted by: greenman, Thursday, April 14, 2011, 8:07am; Reply: 74
this is just as a post script to my own health in what is a difficult time for me.
I have spent alot of time in the hospital and have not been able to eat compliantly due to choices and have had to eat takeaway etc. I know that this is no good but it is all that is available.

The good news is that when I eat compliantly again it really only takes a day-day and a half to get back on track.
fair play to ye Dr. D.
Posted by: Lola, Thursday, April 14, 2011, 4:03pm; Reply: 75
wish we could all help you out!
you are a magnificent son!
more power to you!
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, April 15, 2011, 2:13pm; Reply: 76
see what they say but liten to rules and requirements they may have to fullfil..

maybe taking her home for just a few days is enough to get her re-admitted starting the days in hospital a new..

you have some leverage about the MRSA better home care.. just do not be afraid to think, argue, and listening asking questions twice or trice..    
Posted by: greenman, Monday, April 18, 2011, 3:41pm; Reply: 77
Just another update:
I am still awaiting to see the medical team to discuss my mother.
The physiotherapists in the hospital have decided not to work with her anymore.
They say she is not showing any improvement and is not trying hard enough.
This to me is a cop-out.
My mother has been almost bed-ridden or chair ridden since 20th december 2010.
She has a history of falls, and therefore suffers fear. They tell me that she did not have a stroke.
She is tired all the time and weak. Taking these into consideration then if I were her tired, bedridden for 3.5 months adn a history of falls then I as a 40 something may not be great at physio either.
She has always had trust issues and hates being ordered to do something as the physio's do.
I actually noticed her in a different bed in the hospital which had a hoist over the bed and she was grabbing the bar and pulling herself up when no one was looking.
The physio kept using the phrase 'cognitive' to me, and saying if she's not trying then it's a waste of resourses.
My mother is a fighter, and has proven this by surviving through these health problems, hopefully she will walk again. I hate this 'give-up' mentality that I am meeting in the health service.
They still have not given me a reason as to why she cannot walk, and are now more or less blaming her for not trying hard enough.
I cannot feed her (BT) as she is in hospital.
I will have to use a nursing home as due to her lack of mobility then I cannot look after her 24-7 which she needs at present. She hates the idea of a nursing home. My feeling is at present and I hope that I am wrong is that she will lose all hope if she is a Nursing Home.
Any advice as always appreciated.
Thanks again for all your concern and good wishes. I feel on this notice board that I have an army of support behind me.
Posted by: Goldie, Monday, April 18, 2011, 6:48pm; Reply: 78
OK.. so lets say she is not liking a nursing home.. so threaten her with it as a means to get her out of bed.. she must be willing to walk.. not far. but walk.. get hold of a wheel chair.. stand her up and have her walk with a wheelchair .. the stand up position is more natural.. walkers are self destructive in my mind.. they bend you over to much.. get her to use a cane to lift a can of beans.. anything she can lift.. and balance over head.. yes maybe tak a different track.. and make them discuss things with her and you in the same room.. make waves, with her and them, be patient but never give up.. and just maybe she knows that you can not care for her so maybe she does not want to burden you.. all kinds of c**p going on in her mind and yours and theirs.. get it on the table. get her to fight.. let her annoy you  but don't take it personal.. get her dander up, and love her for responding.. all the best ..

and if you can not do anything else, then give her vegetable juices as many as she can tolerate.. should have done this all along .. much of what she likes, all with love..    
Posted by: greenman, Friday, May 6, 2011, 1:01am; Reply: 79
[/color]Hi all, just to update you again,
Thanks for all your support,
My mother has been ill, she has a kidney stone and a chronic kidney (left)
I met with the geriatric consultant today and was very dissapointed
I listed her symptoms,
cannot walk, could walk previously, to be expected his answer she is very sick.
cannot see from time to time to be expected given how sick she was
went through all the symptoms, remidned him all the time that she was fine before she came in decemeber and in my opinion was discharged too early and caused all the problems [color=green]
no reply just she needs long nursing home care
I am getting no help for her from the medcial system at all.
UNfortunealtely theynare all quacks here in ireland, an absolute disgrace
Posted by: Lola, Friday, May 6, 2011, 2:56am; Reply: 80
:'( don t forget yourself while in this process....
you need to be strong and build up your immunity to cope with all adversity
Posted by: Vicki, Friday, May 6, 2011, 4:15am; Reply: 81
Ask your mother what she would like to do?
Posted by: greenman, Friday, May 6, 2011, 9:23am; Reply: 82
Hi Vicki
My mother wants to walk again and go home and get her life back.
She is unwell and weak and needs to be hoisted in and out of bed.
At the moment she needs 24 hour care. I cannot do this at home and there is very little support to do this.
This pains me to say this.
I am very dissapointed that the doctors in the hospital have given up on her.
Posted by: Goldie, Friday, May 6, 2011, 11:34am; Reply: 83
please look at your private messages above..  
Posted by: greenman, Monday, November 14, 2011, 9:58pm; Reply: 84
I suppose it has been too long since I posted in this Subject.

My mother has had many hospital visits since my last posts.

The doctors don't seem to know what is going on.
There is severe confusion as many consultants say the opposite to others.

my mother is in a nursing home now.
She still suffers from uti's. One of her main problems is dehydration. She is at the stage where she cannot feed/hydrate herself. She refuses water and food and finds it hard to open her mouth fully.
I stand by her for hours trying to give her water. The water has to be thickened in order that it does not go into her lungs. Half of the water (even small sips) spills out of her mouth.

Other than an iv drip, I am basically looking for suggestions as to what I can add to the water to help her to be more hydrated if there is such a substance. any ideas will be much appreciated.

I will post again as to the arguments and opinions that I have had with various hospital consultants. You probably will not believe them as they contradict what I have posted previously. I.e one consultant said there was a large kidney stone and that it needed to be stented, anoher consultant said there was no kidney stone at all. Anyway I am worn out with that and have come to the conclusion that they cannot diagnose her at all. It became stupid as I was seen as a villan for questioning them, rather than they doing their jobs and finding out what was wrong with her.

Any suggestions on hydration would be appreciated. Thanks
Posted by: Goldie, Monday, November 14, 2011, 11:48pm; Reply: 85
I wish you all the best in the care of your mom.  Is she still far away? what does she wish for??  
Posted by: ABJoe, Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 12:52am; Reply: 86
Quoted from greenman
The doctors don't seem to know what is going on.
There is severe confusion as many consultants say the opposite to others.

my mother is in a nursing home now.
She still suffers from uti's. One of her main problems is dehydration. She is at the stage where she cannot feed/hydrate herself. She refuses water and food and finds it hard to open her mouth fully.
I stand by her for hours trying to give her water. The water has to be thickened in order that it does not go into her lungs. Half of the water (even small sips) spills out of her mouth.

A stroke is difficult to assess since it can cause such varying levels of injury.  Some strokes can be almost completely recovered from, while others there is negligible recovery.  This may be why you are getting such varied responses from practitioners.

I know from talking with my mother, who was caring for my father after his stroke, that he complained about the taste of the commercial thickener in fluids.  I don't know that she ever found anything else to use, but the taste was a motivator for Dad to make the throat muscles work again, so he didn't have to continue with the thickener.

There may be no alternative to an IV at this time for your mother.  When the mouth gets dry and cracks, it is painful to open or close, so she will be reluctant to open wide or close to seal it to keep from dripping the fluids back out.  If she isn't getting adequate fluid levels in, she can't have adequate discharge, which will lead to continual UTIs.

I hope for the best for both of you.  
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 1:54am; Reply: 87
thanks for your answers and well wishes.
She has had 2 small tia's in the past.
The story is the nephologist says that the kidneys have been badly damaged.
The urologist says that the kidneys are fine and he thinks the problem is with the pancreas.
My opinion is that there is obviously an underlying medical condition ( I don't know what it is) causing a serious problem and that they have been unable to find it.
Example Nephrologist says 'your mothers left kidney is so small it is severely damaged'
Urologist says 'your mother has a small kidney, nothing unusual, I had a camera all the way to the top of it and found no blockages'

As I said in previous message there is a major problem with hydration. Abjoe makes a good point if you are dehyrated then you don't want to open mouth fully. Makes alot of sense (more than the doctors).

Goldie, I am still in the same town as her, fought against a nursing home far away. She really wants to get better but is exhausted all the time. (I know dehyration can cause this) She tells me she misses her freedom and independence and more importantly she wants them back. I don't know if this will happen but her fighting spirit keeps me going.Goldie I thank you as always for your continued support as I thank everyone on this forum.

It's strange but I feel that I get more strength from her than I give to her, and I really want to give her strength. She keeps me going through these hard times with support and pure attitude to want to get better against the odds.

They give me figures about kidney output etc gettin better but I can see that she is still dehydrated even though the 'figures' are improving. I can see from a human being point of view as against medical that she is dehydrated. As someone said it's a vicious circle dehydration= uti's (especially in elderly)

just want to find a way to keep her hydrated.
She tells me that she feels thirsty all the time.

As my friend said in 2011 so one in the free world should die of dehydration, my mother will battle on, hopefully with your help which has always been great.
Posted by: Goldie, Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 1:43pm; Reply: 88
maybe ice cubes chopped made out of cranberry juice might work better as it would melt slowly.. ?  can mom sit up to drink?   is she getting up out of bed?  That seems to be the biggest goal always.. it provides for some independence and some dignity...  

My mom used he cane to balance in the air in this hand in that hand, on her foot, both hands over head sideways any way she could to get strength back.. I am certain that it helps with throat muscles as well.  

Have the doctors given you time tables? DO you trust one person, a nurse or someone that will be honest and give you a place from which to start.  

Having seen the decline in weight is hard to look at, but then it seems from what you said, she seems to be over the worst HEALTH wise.. then it becomes a question of will.  Mom seems to want to get better/independent - work with that.  Important for that is having Pull ups underpants, to make her feel secure enough to get up.  Nothing is so unsettling as not knowing what might happen otherwise and the humiliation is enough to keep one in bed.  Getting dressed into pretty clothes is important.  Comfortable nightgowns/washable dresses are important even if you have to ask for the tubes to be adjusted.  Doing her hair, washing as frequent as she used to is a good stimulator.  Never be afraid to move her from this to that position, foot rubs are cruel, as the bones will deteriorate if she does not get to stand on the feet.  even pressing one foot against the bed frame is a must.. a few times a day makes all the difference.  Some of these things You are the one to do it as they will not have time to do it all.  Ask for physical therapy to help, or get the answer that will tell you that it is to late.(sorry)  have friends visit her as often as you can get them there.  Better she pass on exhausted and bothered, then just waiting, having nothing else to think about..  

Does she have a feeding tube, or just fluids in her arm?    she ought not be thirsty if they feed her.. be specific is she thirsty or her mouth is dry...  use soft cream on the inside and up the nose to.. can she do it for her self? creaming up her own arms will be exercise also.  if she can  a nice foot bath is pleasure to keep a moment more interesting.  bring photos from home in a way so she can see them and talk about old times...  

I have a million questions I would like to have asked.. like where did you meet dad, what as the moment I was conceived? Who, what where, when.. keep her busy thinking..  cook for her even if you have to mash the food.. she might at least enjoy the taste, even if she has to spit it out.

sorry to be so graphic..    
Posted by: nowishow, Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 9:38pm; Reply: 89
It's so very hard to watch our loved ones suffer. I was I could offer some help, but I have no experience with these problems. You and your mom are in my thoughts and in my heart. I am wishing the best for both of you.
Posted by: deblynn3, Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 10:19pm; Reply: 90
I skipped the last few post, so hope I'm not out of place here.  I'd put something maybe blackstrap molasses in the liquid stuff. It is undrinkable as is. We got rid of it with grandma, she would not drink it. Our nursing home nurses where much better that those at the hospital. We gave them frozen concentrate juice and they would fix it for her by not adding the full amount of water this would made it syrupy she liked that. We were not concerned about calories and she wasn't on BT so we gave her a lot of jello and my dad brought her fruit pops.

We had some good laughs and some very sad times.  Take care of yourself, these can be trying times for you both.

After reading I wonder if you could put BT protein powder in her juice?  Would they let you?

{{{hugs}}} for you both
Posted by: Mickey, Wednesday, November 16, 2011, 4:38am; Reply: 91
Quoted Text
After reading I wonder if you could put BT protein powder in her juice?  Would they let you?

Great idea Deblynn! ;)

I wonder if the BT green powder would also be a good idea for her, i think it's the harmonia?.  Sorry i've never had it but i know they sell one.

Keep up the great work Greenman!   :)
Posted by: ruthiegirl, Wednesday, November 16, 2011, 9:21pm; Reply: 92
(((hugs)) it's hard to watch somebody you love struggle so much.

It sounds to me like she needs to get  IV fluids, at least temporarily, to get rid of the dehydration and allow further healing to take place.
Posted by: greenman, Thursday, November 17, 2011, 8:10am; Reply: 93
Thanks for all your support.
Yes It is hard watching someone you love and who brought you into the world suffer.
Her right leg moved slightly for the first time in weeks yesterday.
From what i can see hydration is key. When she goes back to the nursing home I can threaten, badger, them etc to keep her hydrated but unless I am there the whole time, I cannot guarantee that she will be hydrated.

As always you have been wonderful in your support and I get great strength from you all, as I do from my mother.
Posted by: greenman, Sunday, December 11, 2011, 11:06pm; Reply: 94
Today at lunchtime my mother went to a better place where she now knows the big secret.
She went with dignity, bravery and peacefully.
Thank you all for all your thoughts, helpfulness and support.
We appreciated it and will remember it forever.
Unfortuneately the modern medical profession never got to the root of her illness.
Again I say thank you and am so sorry and regretful that the world no longer has a real lady, a wonderful mother and a true friend.
Thank you all
Posted by: deblynn3, Sunday, December 11, 2011, 11:55pm; Reply: 95
Greenman, I'm sadden that you've lost what must have been such a lovely lady. May you find comfort in all the sweet memories of her life.  We never forget such people that have affected our own lives with their grace, and goodness.  Their words and deeds become an part to our lives and lives of our children.  {{{{hugs}}}}}
Posted by: ruthiegirl, Monday, December 12, 2011, 3:51pm; Reply: 96
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: O in Virginia, Monday, December 12, 2011, 6:37pm; Reply: 97
Greenman, my sincere condolences to you and your family.  I'm so sorry.  ((Hug))
Posted by: greenman, Tuesday, December 13, 2011, 12:43am; Reply: 98
thank you all for your kind thoughts and words
Posted by: nowishow, Friday, December 16, 2011, 8:12pm; Reply: 99
I just came across this update. I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.
Posted by: Goldie, Monday, December 19, 2011, 2:25pm; Reply: 100
Mom is special to all.  To have her in your heart will grow better as time goes on.  My thoughts go with you.. all the best, go in peace.  
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