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BTD Forums  /  Testimonials  /  a personal discovery
Posted by: rachelhagemann (Guest), Sunday, December 4, 2005, 2:42am
Over the past few days I've been thinking---thinking alot about my life, my family and the direction my life is headed.  I thought alot about the way I eat, my weight---or should I say my weight obession.  Today I discovered something, a vidal key to my happiness, something that has taken too long to discover.  
 My weight doesn't have to dictate my happienss.  I look around me, I see my bright eyed little girl laughing and smiling, my loving husband---who's the love of my life, my house---my life as a whole, it's wonderful.  The only thing that isn't wonderful, is my obession with my weight.  I look in the mirror and see a cubby woman, who feels insignificant and invisible when I gain weight.
 Now, let me explain, I'm 5'6 and 148 pounds--your probably wondering what I'm complaining about??(I'm right there with ya) Why can't I except WHO and WHAT I am.  I'll never be  125 pounds, my body simply WONT---so why do I torture it, abuse it.............. and frankly---take it or granted??
  I went to my new aerobics class today ( I recently moved to Fallbrook, Ca---San Diego County---USMC), where my teacher was a 72 year  old woman!! yes, a 72 year old woman instructing a hard core aerobics class!!!! She said something that struck true to me, she said, "Aren't we so furtunate to have strong, healthy bodies to able to come to these classes?"  Hummmm, she's so right!!! I've taken for granted how strong my body is, I've focused all my enegry on losing those 10 pounds that I've forgotten how lucky I am to have a strong and healthy body.  I kept comparing myself to others and by doing so, I felt little and pathetic in comparison, although I could probably out run them in a 5 mile race.
 So my discovery is:  is.............. that I'm okay!!! With tears running down my face, I say---I'm okay!!!  I give myself permission to stop obessing and start appreciating what I have---my daughter, husband, a strong body---my life doesn't revovle around what the scale says.
 THe reason I write this isn't for you to give me a pat on the back, but for you to look in the mirror and begin to see the goodness, the strength, the kindness, the love---basically the good in your self.  Weight isn't everything.  
  Your okay!
Posted by: Melissa_J, Sunday, December 4, 2005, 3:56am; Reply: 1
Thank you for that Rachel (sunny)

You've reached a milestone that will help you to reach your most important goals in life.  Hold onto it, and thank you for reminding the rest of us.
Posted by: Lola, Sunday, December 4, 2005, 4:02am; Reply: 2
Rachel so true!!!!
bless you! )
Posted by: Howard, Sunday, December 4, 2005, 7:36am; Reply: 3
Right on Rach, you're perfect just the way you are...but we've always suspected that!
Posted by: Alia Vo, Sunday, December 4, 2005, 3:35pm; Reply: 4
Thanks for sharing your personal anedote, Rach.  You have made such a powerful realization about yourself today.  Keep up the good work with this lifestyle.  You have so much to be thankful for in your life!

Posted by: rachelhagemann (Guest), Monday, December 5, 2005, 3:59am; Reply: 5
Posted by: Poly, Monday, December 5, 2005, 12:31pm; Reply: 6
(clap) Excellent post, Rachel! :)
Posted by: Brighid45, Monday, December 5, 2005, 1:32pm; Reply: 7
Great post Rach, and so true! :)
Posted by: Mrs T O+, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 5:32pm; Reply: 8
Hey. Rach!  Focus on good health, & the the weight will take care of itself!  I'm not my perfect weight, but getting close.  At age 57! I lost 10# without trying by adding some back strengthening exercises to my other ones & still eating 3000 calories daily!  It surprises me.  I was around 150# for some years & a litlle shorter than you.  The bad thing is that at my age (58), I am getting flabbier in certain areas.  If you are younger, you can at least tone it up easier.  I'm still trying, but it is taking a long time! But it's great to know I'm healthy & the BTD is such a big part of it!!
I love to read testimonials!  Thank God we have found the BTD.  It's hard to be a minority & want the world to know!  But we can sure encourage each other!
Sea Salt & Light,
Mrs "T" O+
Posted by: Mrs T O+, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 5:33pm; Reply: 9
There's that wierd smiley!  It's supposed to read 58.
Posted by: Don, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 5:45pm; Reply: 10
"8)" is the code for that smiley, which is why you got the smiley when you entered (58).
Posted by: Jane, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 7:38pm; Reply: 11
At 61 I still struggle with the same issues.  I look in the mirror and all I see is the flab around my waist.  I have some health issues, colitis, thyroid, achy knees but people that know me always tell me that they would have never guessed that I was that old.  I always laugh and tell them that I'm good with makeup and hair.  I'm 5'5 1/2 and hide my weight well but it's really hard for me to look at myself.  I grew up with a very short, very heavy mom who went to Duke for the Rice diet and lost almost half of herself, went from a size 20+ to a 6-8 and then back up again.  Now that she's in Assisted Living with Alzheimer's she's losing weight but for the wrong reasons.  
I have a lot to be thankful for too.  I still have my parents and they are both 86.  I have 2 healthy sons, 27 and 30, that went through some difficult times after my divorce, that have turned into terrific caring human beings.  I have a great brother and sister in law.  I've had the opportunity to get a great education and I've had lots of interesting twists and turns in my professional life.
Posted by: NewHampshireGirl, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 8:10pm; Reply: 12
Thank you, Rachel, for your heartfelt testimonial.  Sometimes it's a shock to recognize that the good things in one's life far outweigh the misfortunes.  I think the forum helps us immensely with the recognition of oneself in certain areas.  

And, Jane, I thank you for your further comments.  We spend our whole lives becoming mature in body and soul.  It can be an exciting adventure but not always easy.  We all face peaks and valleys and oh my the things we have learned as we surface from each valley.   Thank goodness for close friends, family, spirituality and the enlightened members of this kind of forum.    :K) 8)
Posted by: resting, Wednesday, February 1, 2006, 9:03pm; Reply: 13
thankx very much Rach,

the vast number of folks are in such circumstances that they can embrace themselves and know decidedly that they are OK.

There are a few among us who are not at all pleased with what the mirror reflects and suspect that the image is so distasteful that the mirror itself will soon crack.  It is on those days that I try to remember the words of Rabbi Abraham Heschel ... 'as a young man physical beauty was very important, but now that I am older, kindness seems more important.'  Can a mirror even reflect kindness?

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