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BTD Forums  /  Golden Threads  /  The Bloody Family Vol 1
Posted by: azzap, Saturday, December 25, 2004, 10:31am
Once upon a time there lived a family of four very unique individuals known as the Bloody Family. There was a mystery as to where they actually came from and their parents must have just got the latest book of baby names and decided to be creative. The oldest child was called Fucose, who quite rightly shortened it to just ďOĒ. Next came N-Acetyl-Galactosamine who preferred to be called ďAĒ, followed by her little sister D-Galactosamine, who wanted to be called ďDĒ, but wasnít very good with the alphabet (despite being a killer at crossword puzzles) and so ended up as ďBĒ. Last but not least came the youngest and after a massive fight between the parents over whether he should be called A junior or B junior, ended up a being called ďABĒ to keep the peace.

One day, O thought they should have a family meeting.

O: I think itís time we had a Bloody family meeting. Hey A, go and round up those other idiots.
A: Just because youíre the oldest you think you can boss everybody around. Youíre so insensitive.
O: I am not insensitive and if you call me that again IĒll smash your face in. Where the hell is B.
A: I donít know, must have wandered off somewhere as usual. Hey AB, go and see if you can find B while I organise some pens and paper and a few refreshments.
AB: Oh man, youíre freaking me out!. What if B doesnít want to be found man, what if finding B alters the karmic path that B is meant to travel man, it could upset the whole universe man.
O: Shutup ya fruitcake. Stay there and contemplate your navel and Iíll go hunt her down myself.

Just then B walks through the door as serene and balanced as she always is (except for that time she ended up with a high toxicity and indican reading after a weekend at the chicken ranch) and dressed like no one else youíve ever seen before. B always thought she should be a designer, but could never stay still long enough to put her ideas into practice.

O: Right, Iíve called this meeting because we really have to do something about all the food in the fridge. The old Westinghouse is starting to collapse because we all have our own foods and there just isnít enough room. We have to work out if we can find some common foods that we all eat so we donít double up. Any ideas?
AB: Hey, who made you the leader man?
O: Shutup.
A: Oooooh, my aching belly!
AB: Oh far out man, whatís up sis?
A: I just finished four grilled cheese sandwiches, a bowl of olives, a couple of slices of ham, a large orange juice, 2 mangoes and a bowl of cashew nuts with a whiskey chaser. I really gotta stop having these big breakfasts.
O: If Iíve told you once Iíve told you a thousand times, olives arenít good for you. Hey, where did B go?
AB: I think sheís wandered off again man.
O: Hey B, where are you?
B: Iím on the roof.
O: What the hell are you doing up there?. Get down here. Crazy fool, Iím sure she thinks she thinks sheís trekking the Himalayas when she does that. We should call her Sir Edmund bloody B Hilary.
B: For your information I was taking a quiet moment to think of all the foods that we all like to eat that donít cause us any digestive problems (looking sternly at A, who always seems to stress so badly about these matters).
O: Good, good, at least someone around here has their head screwed on right.
AB: Hey chill out man, donít get yourself all worked up man, you know what happens when get all full of adrenaline man, itís like you just donít come down man you know what I mean man.
O: Shutup.
AB: See man.
O: Right. Iím going to run down to the store (itís only five miles and I should be able to do that in 25 minutes at a good pace) and see what the cost of a new refrigerator is. So while Iím doing that, I want you all to draw up a list of all the foods you eat and weíll cross-check them when I get back.
A: Righto, Iíve got everything organised. Hereís your pens and pads people, hereís your running shoes O, and hereís a couple of glasses of beer just to make it all fun. I mean, nothing like a bit of alcohol to calm the nerves eh?

As O puts on his running shoes and shakes his head at A, B roams out into the backyard and AB sits in quiet contemplation waiting for the list of foods to ďcomeĒ to him, another day in the Bloody household has begun.

(The Bloody family story is to be continued by the next forum participant. Try to make the story continue from where the last entry left off. I suggest you write your entry into a word processor and then copy it across just in case something goes wrong with the computer or whatever. It also gives you time to think of all the blood type related matter for your story line. Have fun)
Posted by: heidi (Guest), Saturday, December 25, 2004, 2:41pm; Reply: 1

;D   we should set up a separate section for "type O humor."  Nobody else gets it.


Posted by: Brighid45, Saturday, December 25, 2004, 3:07pm; Reply: 2
*laughing helplessly*

I am copying this and forwarding it to my AB roomie back East. She'd better read it or I'll punch her lights out. And I know when she DOES read it, she'll say "Oh wow, far out man!"


Nice one azzap.  :)
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Saturday, December 25, 2004, 4:28pm; Reply: 3

super-great- now I am blaming myselve for my bad english can't come with you!!!

Azzap-you are one of the greatest- really good-love this form of writings very much
congratulations for that, boy I'll look for a lecturing job???! Great stuff!!!!!

yours truly ISA (Clau.Schi. remplacement hi-hi-hiiiiiiiii)
Posted by: heidi (Guest), Saturday, December 25, 2004, 4:31pm; Reply: 4
Quoted from Brighid45, posted Saturday, December 25, 2004, 3:07pm at here
... she'll say "Oh wow, far out man!"

Isa-M beat her to it.    

;D   !!!


Posted by: Alia Vo, Saturday, December 25, 2004, 5:15pm; Reply: 5

This is a groovy story. †

You have a great, creative mind to conjecture this Bloody Family tale; it is only fair that you should finish what you started.

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Saturday, December 25, 2004, 5:58pm; Reply: 6
Posted by: Brighid45, Saturday, December 25, 2004, 11:27pm; Reply: 7
Indeed she did, Heidi. At least now we don't have to take Isa out back and work her over.

Just kidding, Isa!! ;)

I'll be calling my AB friend a little later tonight and will report her review. :)
Posted by: heidi (Guest), Saturday, December 25, 2004, 11:38pm; Reply: 8

I just realized something.    ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D   ;D  ;D


{wipes away tears}

everybody, read how Alia is 'organizing' Aaron to finish the story and ... and that...

;D  ;D  ;D ;D  ;D

the B's are missing....  

;D   :D   :D  ;D    !!!!!!!

Posted by: Brighid45, Saturday, December 25, 2004, 11:48pm; Reply: 9

Blood will out!

Posted by: Debra+, Sunday, December 26, 2004, 4:57am; Reply: 10
azzap-great story teller you are.   I loved it.  †[rolmao]   ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D  

Posted by: Linda, Sunday, December 26, 2004, 7:06am; Reply: 11
Jeeesh, you guys.....
I'm outta here!!!!!!!!!!

We B's gotta get goin' man!
Posted by: azzap, Sunday, December 26, 2004, 11:28am; Reply: 12
As O ran to the store (timing himself and checking on his heart rate), A decided to jump on the net and check out the latest news going around. Much to her disgust she found an article about the new rules regarding vitamin supplements that the European Union was looking to introduce in the new year.
A: Oh my god, have you seen the new rules that the European Union are looking to introduce in the new year?, she shrieked to no one in particular. Theyíre going to remove large-dose vitamins from the shelf and replace them with ďsafeĒ level doses. Who ever heard of anyone dying from vitamin C.?
AB: Whoa, chill out man, you know itís all a planned move by the mega-powers to remove the rights of the common people to chose their own lifestyle while at the same time enforcing a draconian medico-pharmacalogical oligarchy designed to diminish your health and decrease you wealth man.
A: What?
AB: Thereís nothing you can do about it man.
A: Animal Manure!. I say we organise a rally and take this issue to our local member and let our politicians know just how we feel.
AB: Right on sister.
B: (looking up from her crossword puzzle) You do realise of course that what you are proposing would require many hours of energy on your part not to mention the fact that we still havenít even started on our list of foods yet.
A: But we gotta do something. Whew, Iím stressing out here. Whereís my beer? Ah, thatís better. Hey, AB, pour me another one will you?. Thanks.
AB: You know, if you really wanted to relieve that stress then the beer isnít exactly going to help man.
A: Shutup.
AB: See, youíre starting to sound like O.
A: Well, what do propose I do smarty pants?.
AB: Itís all about cortisol man. Youíve already got high levels in your bloodstream man, so doing some meditation or a good session of yoga will brings those levels right downÖÖman.
A: I donít have time for meditation or yoga. Who has time to do that sort of stuff? There are more important things to do in life than sitting around going ooohhmmm. What do you think B?. B?, now where the hell has she gone now?
AB: There she is, hiking up that hill over there. She told me once that she hikes to get exercise and to reduce her stress levels. Maybe you should try it.
A: Hiking schmiking. I ainít gonna traipse all over the countryside like some british backpacker. Show me how you do that meditation thing.

As AB took A through a meditation session (which A resisted all the way until AB told her that lowering cortisol would also help her lose weight), O was on his way back from the store having secured a good deal on a new fridge. As an extra incentive the salesman threw in a weekís worth of meat. O thought that was a great deal and was so excited to tell the others that he cut 2 minutes off his time getting back to the house. After winding down with a few stretches and checking his resting pulse rate he entered the house, only to find it unnervingly quiet. His senses became alert, his heart starting pumping faster and a slight sweat broke out over his brow (more so than what was already there). His muscles tensed and the adrenaline continued coursing through his body. As he entered the lounge-room he prepared for flight or fightÖ.

(Now donít be shy people. Thereís an author in all of us Iím sure. I mean, Iím just making this stuff up off the top of my head using what Iíve learnt from the doctorís material and my own (and your) experiences. We can all do that, surely. Even if itís a coupe of lines to add emphasis to the plot or sub-plot (if there is one Ė hey, send it off in another direction if you want. Add new characters, whatever) in the story. It would be great to see how other blood types add perspective. And itís a lot of fun too.)
Posted by: 658 (Guest), Sunday, December 26, 2004, 9:55pm; Reply: 13
Haha it makes mucho sense, as im laying on my bed but really it is a white sand beach, the most obvious spot but still no one can find me, duh! wait, what was i doing?
Posted by: Susana, Monday, December 27, 2004, 1:39pm; Reply: 14
Now Azzap,

i'm sure there are much better ways to spend our time than posting silly jokes. †;)


P.s. In Spain we wink at someone when we are telling a joke; when something is not true. I hope you realise I am following your bloody family joke.
Posted by: 361 (Guest), Monday, December 27, 2004, 2:09pm; Reply: 15
'O: I am not insensitive and if you call me that again IĒll smash your face in. Where the hell is B.'  ...and I mean that in the best possible way.

Posted by: Kristin, Monday, December 27, 2004, 8:06pm; Reply: 16
Hey, now...

We're here.

Just not always in the same room... so to speak. †;)

And as an avid {ahem} hiker, and living with three blood types in one family I must say Aaron, that this really is spot on! Except my O is quite mellow for an O but the A's with their mental intensities and sensitive belly's... Whew!!

Posted by: azzap, Tuesday, December 28, 2004, 12:38pm; Reply: 17
O, with heart racing bursts into the loungeroom.
A: Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!
AB: Aaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!
O: Aaaarrrrrrarrarrrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!
A: O god, I think I'm having a heart attack.
AB: Heavy trip man!
O: What in the sam hill are you too doing?. It was so quiet in here I thought someone had done you all in or something. Where's B?
B: Here I am (as she walked in the door from her trek). I heard all the screaming and came a runnin'.
A: For your information mister hunt-em-and-kill-em, we were meditating. Connecting with the oneness that is all and finding our personal nirvana.
O: Right. Which reminds me, I've got their album around here somewhere. I haven't listened to it for ages.
A: No you idiot, universal nirvana, peace within oneself.
O: Look, I don't care what the title was, I know it's around here somewhere. You think you are the only one's who can be mellow. I've got a good friend who's just like B, and her husband is just like me and he's real mellow, although her kids are just like you A, always with the upset tummies and all, but anyway, as I said, I can be mellow too when I want.....
A,AB and B: Shutup
O: Ooh, Testy testy.
AB: So did you sort out a fridge man?
O: Yep, sure did, and got a week's worth of meat in the bargain.
A: Terrific, I'm dying for a steak.
O: Actually, the funniest thing happened. I was standing outside the store bragging to this bloke about the deal I got and he started telling me about how meat wasn't real good for certain blood types.
B: Who was this bloke?
O: Oh some protoscientist named Deedeearmo or something or other. Looked harmless enough, but what he said really made sense. It might help us with our food lists.
AB: Oh man, you don't want to go messing with nature man, besides, blood is blood, isn't it?
O: No, that's just it. He said there were four blood types. O,A,B,and AB, and that each blood type can respond to the same food differently so that what is good for one might not be good for another.
AB: Whoa man, that sounds just like us. The blood types I mean, and we're the Bloody family, Oh man I'm freakin out man.
B: Chill out AB, this makes sense. O loves his meat and does real well on it, but A and you both seem to get the bloated blues on it. As for me, well, I can take it or leave it, but I do love a good roast lamb.
A: So does that mean I can't have a steak?
O: Not necessarily, but if you want to stop yourself from getting that "brain fog" you always seem to get after a heavy meal, as well as give your digestive system a bit of a break, then you would be wise to cut down drastically on the heavy red meats. He said it was something to do with Intestinal Alkaline Phospatase whatever that is. In fact, according to the doc, the A blood type is predominately vegetarian.
A: Vega-bloody-tarian!. You're joking. That's enough to drive a person to drink. Speaking of which, have we finished that beer yet?
AB: No, can I pour you a pint guvner?.
A: Damn straight.
B: I'll have one too.
O: Ya pack of alcho's, where's a good red wine when you want one.
A: Ooh, listen to mister la-dee-da over here. Beer not good enough for you hey?.
O: No it's not that, it's just that I feel all light headed and get ill really fast with beer.
A,AB, and B: But that's the whole point.
O: Anyway, it's not alcohol I need right now, it's food. I need some protein. Let's get some lunch.
A: Best thing you've said all day O.

As the sun rose high in the sky and the shadows disappeared, the Bloody family set about getting lunch prepared. But this wouldn't be any ordinary lunch. The mysterious doctor had set their minds to work and today's fare would produce something totally different than what they were used too.

Posted by: CybrtoothTigress, Tuesday, December 28, 2004, 2:15pm; Reply: 18
I can't wait for the next installment!!  This is great stuff!
Posted by: Debra+, Tuesday, December 28, 2004, 2:28pm; Reply: 19
azzap-wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful.  ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D   †And it's still a learning experience too.  :D  :)

Posted by: 361 (Guest), Tuesday, December 28, 2004, 3:01pm; Reply: 20
...any the story continues~
Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, December 29, 2004, 12:22pm; Reply: 21
A: Right then, you lot get yourselves washed up while I organise the me-and-u.
B: Always with the organising arenít you?
AB: Yeh man, why canít you just live in the moment you know. Itís not all about whatís happening next or what just went man, itís all about NOW baby. If youíre not living in the moment youíre missing the beauty of all that is man.
A: Are you finished?
AB: I guess so man.
A: Good, because while you were jabbering on I got everything ready, so sit down, shutup, and eat.
AB: Heavy!!
O: Iíve got a hankeriní for some flankeriní. Was there any rump steak left in the old Westinghouse?
A: Yep, sure was. Not only am I the most organised person in the world but Iím the fastest cook youíve ever seen too (pokes tongue out at B and AB). Here you go, one rump steak, medium rare, some broccoli, pumpkin and kale with a drizzle of olive oil. As for the rest of us, I must admit to be slightly intrigued by this blood type stuff although the thought of being a vegie is kind of a turn off, BUT, Iím up for a challenge. What about you guys?
AB: Iím easy man.
B: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast pint-sized. Iím partial to some of that steak myself, although the olí rump does sit a bit heavy sometimes. Have we got anything lighter, like some venison perhaps?
A: Nope.
B: Buffalo?
AB: All out man.
B: Ah well, vegie me up then. I do love my vegies.
O: I wonder when the new fridge will arrive?

As if on a queue, a knock sounds at the door and O gets up to answer it. As he opens the door a golden light fills the room and the sound of a thousand angels in perfect harmony rings through the air. A man steps through with a shining halo around his head.

Hi, Iím Paul Buckless from the ACME delivery service of Devonport Tasmania. Did somebody order a new fridge?

O: Tasmania, thatís a long way to travel just to deliver a fridge.
Paul: As the motto says, Have Cash, Will Travel. Where do you want this baby?.
A: Right over here will be just fine. No, a little to the left. No, a little to the right. Hang on, I think it would actually look better over here.
Paul: Listen lady, a fridge usually goes in the fridge alcove in the kitchen, will that be good enough for you?
A: Well I suppose that can do for a start.
Paul: I see here youíve got a weekís worth of meat too. I hope none of you in here are blood type A.
O: Do you know Dr Deedeearmo as well?
Paul: Actually, itís DíAdamo, as in like the song, Ti Amo, you know I love you so.
O: What did you say.
Paul: I love you so.
O,A,B, and AB take two steps back with hands held out in front of them.
Paul: No, no, Ti AmoÖ.DíAdamoÖ.ah forget it.
B: Oh I see, like in Coup Díetat.
Paul: Yeh, kinda. I see where your coming from with that. I bet your good at crosswords?
B: Well IÖÖ
O: What blood type are you Paul?
Paul: Iím an A, and an A to the letter.
A: Howís my lunch looking then Paul?. Weíre just trying it for the first time.

Paul looks at Aís plate and his cheeks blow out in anticipation of a hurl. The plate is a mess of navy beans and chickpeas, chinese cabbage, chilli peppers, eggplant and shiitake mushrooms smothered in mayonnaise.

Paul: Well, while I can see youíve got the right motivation, I do believe thereís room for improvement. Just to give you an idea, hereís what I had for lunch on a lazy Sunday on the 26th of June 2004.

Lunch was a toasted Tofu, miso, sprouts,cress & lettuce sandwich seasoned with savoury yeast, herbamare and my wife Sarah's patented pepper substitute. A mug of freshly brewed hazelnut coffee followed by dried and fresh fruit.

O: (with a mouth full of steak and veggies and a rueful eye on the others). Sounds great.
Paul: Well, I gotta go (sign here please), if you want to know more about whatís good for you go and get the book ďLive Right For Your Type„Ē, itís got all the info in it youíll need. Bye now.
B: What a nice man.
AB: YehÖ.I wonder how he gets those angels to follow him. That was groovy man.
O: Well, that steak was pretty ďgroovyĒ too. I can feel my digestive juices doing a number on that baby right now. When theyíve finished Iím going to head off down to the gym and catch up with my old mates Vlad and Aeowyn and do some deadlifts. I heard theyíre the ducks proverbials for the lower back.
B: As for me, Iím off to the bookstore. The nearest oneís 3 days from here. Just the sort of adventure I like. Better pack some trail mix for this one.
A: I think Iíll take a nap. All this fridge moving has stressed me out.
AB: I think Iíll just sit here and take in the beauty of the day. Donít you just love the way the light shines through the trees and creates that ethereal glow where you can see all the dust particles and stuff. Guys?Ö..guys?Ö..bummer man. Looks like itís just you and me world till the others get back. They donít know what theyíre missing.
Posted by: heidi (Guest), Wednesday, December 29, 2004, 4:07pm; Reply: 22


          mr author azzap is too cool 4 school !!!    

;D   ;D   ;D     !!!!  

Posted by: Kristin, Wednesday, December 29, 2004, 6:20pm; Reply: 23
Cracked me up royal!!

I had just finished reading one of the latest installments when my young A son came by and said, "Mom, I have a new schedule for my clothes." (He has a schedule for his... clothes?!?...come to think of it, he does tend to wear the same clothes on the same days of the week) and he proceeded to explain, in detail, this new schedule. I couldn't help myself and began laughing to which he replied, "What?'s efficient".

Busted a gut over that one!  Poor boy, thinking his mother was laughing at him. So I explained the prevalence of this trait in type A's.

I had previously taken the personality profiles of the different blood types with a grain of salt. I had always believed that there are many influences and experiences that shape the development of our personalities throughout our lives but now I am wondering more and more if there is something fundamental within our types that contribute significantly to how we respond to different stimuli on emotional and cognitive levels.

Ohhh... by the way... I have my disappearing act down to a science...  
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, December 30, 2004, 11:14am; Reply: 24
3 Days Later:

B: Iím back.
AB: Wow man, I canít believe you hiked all that way just to get us a book.
B: What?. Stuff that, I just jumped on the computer and ordered it via the net. Technology baby, technology. You gotta learn to thrive in changeable conditions.
AB: So where have you been for the last 3 days?. What about ďthe adventureĒ and ďtrail mixĒ and all that?.
B: Oh, I was just being spontaneous. As soon as I walked past the computer I thought, eh?, what the hell. As for the trail mix, well I took that with me over to the local community hall where Iíve been networking with some business hotshots over a couple of ideas Iíve got for an adventure park.
AB: And that took 3 days??.
B: Well, It required a lot of visualisation, and you know me, gotta get my full 8 hours of sleep every night, so not much got done during the night. Plus I also broke in a couple of the wild horses from the ranch next door during the breaks. You understand donít you.
AB: Oh yeah man, I totally dig the need for visualisation, especially in a group, although for me, itís much better alone.
O: (walks into room halfway through conversation). I can understand that, I always feel much better when youíre not around.
AB: Heavy dude. If I wasnít so compassionate Iíd hit you over the head with a crochet mallet.
O: Interesting!. So B, whereís the book?
B: Itís on itís way, but Iíve got some better news.
A: (enters room) Oh yeh, whatís that?
B: While I was at the community hall I bumped into the doc and we got to talking. He said because we seemed so keen, he would send one of his trusted colleagues over to ďhold our handsĒ as it where, so that we got off on the right foot. He said her name is Heidi and he told me she is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle and loving person he has ever met. In his own words, ďshe is a true angel from heavenĒ.
(A knock is heard at the door)
AB: That might be her now, I canít wait to meet her, she sounds like my type of person.
AB: (opens door), Hi Iím AB, and you must beÖ
A: Iím gonna kill you goodÖÖ.
AB: (holding A back) Donít do it sis, itís not worth the Karmic debt man.
B: Funny, very funny. Actually, extremely funny. You had me going thatís for sure.
Heidi: Sorry about that but we Oís just work on a different level sometimes. I hope I didnít offend anyone.
O: No, not at all.
A: Speak for yourself cro-magnon boy. Phew, all that exercise has built me up an appetite. Whoís for something to eat?
B: Great idea, maybe Heidi can get us started.
Heidi: Sure, what say we start off by first explaining what happens when you actually eat something. That way youíll get a better idea of why some foods are better for your blood type than they are for someone elseís.
O: Youíre the boss.
Heidi: To keep it brief, Blood type genetics not only influence the digestive juices and enzymes needed to efficiently metabolise food, they program the cellular characteristics of our entire digestive tract. It starts with chewing and the introduction of saliva (which contains glycoprotein sugars called mucins which help to moisten and lubricate the food). Dietary proteins (large molecules composed of long chains of amino acids) enter the stomach, where gastric juices (seemingly more prevalent in Oís than Aís for example) and the enzyme pepsin, break down the protein into intermediate sized chunks called polypeptides. These are then transported to the small intestine where pancreatic enzymes (trypsin, amylase and lipase) complete the protein breakdown into amino acids. These are then transported to the liver where bile salts break up the fats into tiny droplets (increasing their surface area so the enzymes can work more efficiently). Nutrients processed by the liver are absorbed into the bloodstream, while waste is sent to the large intestine for elimination. All along the way, your blood type is influencing the process. Are you still with me?
A: Yeh I got everything except for that part after ďTo keep it briefĒ.
AB: zzzzzzzzz   zzzzzzzzzz  zzzzzzzzzz
Heidi: Where did B go?
O: She left a half hour ago. This could be a lot harder than you first thought. Now you know what I have to put up with.
A: Donít listen to him Heidi, he thinks heís mister Type A personality himself. What say we sit down for a nice cuppa while you explain that digestive thing to me again.
Heidi: Sounds like a good idea, do you have green tea?
A: Nope.
Heidi: Organic cocoa perhaps?.
A: Nope.
Heidi: Water will be fine.
A: Canít interest you in a scotch then?
Heidi: Er, not right now.
A: Damn, I could really have used one.

As the day drew to a close, Heidi laid out the basic food lists for the Bloody family to start them on their way to better health and well-being. They sat long into the night until finally farewelling her with a resounding rendition of ďfor sheís a jolly good fellowĒ. Heidi ran home as fast as her weary legs could carry her, but only after doing some pre-exercise stretches and limbering up of course.
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, December 30, 2004, 2:26pm; Reply: 25
Oh this should be made into a sticky.  :) ;) :K) :D ;D 8)

Posted by: CybrtoothTigress, Thursday, December 30, 2004, 3:02pm; Reply: 26
I second the motion! this is great stuff!
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, December 30, 2004, 5:43pm; Reply: 27
The more I read this (which is about 8 times, so far) the more I see my family. †And I don't mean just the one in this household. † † †;D :D :)

Thank you azzap. †:K) ;) :)

Posted by: heidi (Guest), Thursday, December 30, 2004, 8:22pm; Reply: 28

Not only a brilliant literary product, but ALL TRUE.  Every word.  

Posted by: Debra+, Friday, December 31, 2004, 12:01pm; Reply: 29
Yeeeaaaayyyyy. †It is now a sticky.  :D :D :D :D :D

Posted by: azzap, Saturday, January 1, 2005, 8:31am; Reply: 30
AB: (singing) Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful dayÖ.
O: Hey, can the racket bonehead.
AB: Hey man, donít be dissiní my creativity man.
O: I beg your pardon?. ďdissin?Ē. Who do you think you are, Ali G or someone?
AB: Just because you were up all night drinking coffee and munching out on chocolate, which I assume has given you a headache, as it usually does, doesnít mean I have to stop my life and put everything on hold until you get better man.
O: Ok, Iím sorry alright. But oh man, my head is killing me.
A: (walking into room). Doesnít do too much for me either.
O: Har de bloody har. Everyoneís a comedian.
A: Yep, especially when youíre involved. Hey look, the bookís arrived (picks up book from front step and rips open the wrapping). Hmmm, letís see what it says here about headaches. Oh, here it is. (reads). Most headaches occur because a person is extremely ugly and therefore the offending head should be summarily removed from the body as soon as possible.
AB: Ha ha, give it to the man, sis.
B: Hi gang, whatís with all the jocularity.
A: The what?
B: In words you can understandÖ.Ēthe laughsĒ.
A: Oh, right, Oís got a headache from over indulging and weíre just paying out on him.
B: Great, my favourite pastime. How about this oneÖ Your head is so ugly, that beer was invented just so you could get a date.
A and AB: woohoo, good one B, give us another one.
O: (grabs book from A) If you imbeciles are finished I think Iíll do something useful, which you all are incapable of, and look up the real reasons why I might have this headache.
A: Hmmm, sounds to me like someone needs to employ a few Anger Management strategies. Címon AB, teach our mate here how to go ooohhhmmmm.(A, B, and AB roll around on floor with tears streaming out their eyes. O looks on, suitably unimpressed)
O: According to the book, caffeine for an O type has the effect of stimulating gastrin in the stomach, raising adrenaline and noradrenaline levels and dilating blood vessels. The last one in particular has been known to instigate headaches. Interesting. That could also explain why I always get heartburn when I drink the coffee, and hyped up when I eat the chocolate. It also says here that when you crave a pleasure-releasing substance to do something physical. Hey A, come here so I can smash ya face in.
A: I donít think the word ďphysicalĒ means ďviolentĒ meathead. Although thatís never stopped you has it?. What does it say about coffee for Aís.
O: Well, because you guys seem to be naturally low in stomach acid, a cup a day is beneficial for you, neutral for B, and an avoid for AB because it provokes an abnormal blood reaction. But then again, just ďbeingĒ AB provokes an abnormal blood reaction as far as Iím concerned anyway. Get it, ďabnormal blood reactionĒ, ďbeing ABĒ.
B: You idiot.
O: Wow, this book is amazing. Just reading it has made me feel better. My headachesí gone and now Iím as hungry as a horse.
AB: You look like one too.
O: Is that the best you can do you tree-hugging hippie?
A: Iím hungry too actually. I can feel some grilled cheese sandwiches coming on.
O: Not so fast dairy queen. Cheese for the most part is a no-go zone for you, except for farmer, feta, ghee, goat, mozzarella, kefir, paneer, quark and ricotta, which are all neutrals. And you would be doing yourself a favour by replacing the wheat bread with something like rye, spelt or even oat based breads, as they are more beneficial (or neutral for oats if you happen to be a non-secretor).
A: First of all, Iíve never heard of half that stuff, although now that you mention mozzarella I feel like a pizza instead of grilled cheese sandwiches, and secondly, what the hellís a non-secretor. It sounds like a title given to a person whoís good at holding back their drool.
B: (reading over Oís shoulder) A non-secretor is a person who is unable to secrete their blood type antigen in their bodily fluids. Iíll assume that the word antigen is somehow significant here.
AB: Man, this is all getting too heavy for me. I need some space to clear my head and take this all in. For some reason I feel like Iíve got a nitric oxide buildup. And I donít even know what that is man.
A: Right then, it looks like weíll all have to get tested to find out our secretor status. Iíll make the phone call to the doctors and organise the visit.
B: But it says here you can send away for a test kit and do it yourself.
A: Thatís right, spoil my fun. Allright, Iíll do that then. Why donít you and magilla gorilla go and make yourselves useful by getting us all breakfast.
B: (walking away muttering) stresshead.
O: I think my headache just came back.

And so another day in the Bloody family household begins.

Posted by: Lola, Sunday, January 2, 2005, 4:58am; Reply: 31
ty azzap for all these fun episodes!!!  LOL
Posted by: Debra+, Sunday, January 2, 2005, 4:03pm; Reply: 32
;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, January 5, 2005, 12:30pm; Reply: 33
As the sound of feverish kitchen activity subsides, we find the Bloody family seated at the kitchen table.
O: So, what did everyone end up making themselves for breakfast. Iíve got some ground beef cooked up with some onions, garlic, broccoli, bok choy, carrots and pumpkin. Mmmmm mmmm.
A: Iíve opted for a simple glass of water with lemon juice in it for starters, which Iíll follow up with a piece of fruit. Nice and light. Although having pizza was definitely my number one choice.
AB: Whoa man, Iím going all out with some green lentil soup, made from lentils (of course) with some broccoli, carrots, celery and just a touch of sweet potato to give it extra body.
B: Iím having bacon and duck eggs on toasted white bread, just a small piece of sea bass with a dash of soy sauce and some artichoke, radishes and pumpkin on the side.
O: Errr, sis, let me just check that for a second. Letís seeÖ.avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid and avoidÖno waitÖyep, avoid.
B: Oh no way, I love this stuff, I have it for breakfast all the time you know that.
AB: Yeh and we also know what kind of smell it leaves behind if you know what I mean.
B: Speak for yourself bugle bum. You should see what we have to put up with when youíre on the chilli peppers.
O: You both stink, now shutup. According to the book here, chilli peppers are a gastric irritant for AB, and they inhibit proper digestive function, so that explains that.
B: Bugle bum, bugle bum.
O: As for you B, bacon does the same thing as well as provoking an abnormal blood reaction, duck eggs provoke an abnormal blood reaction, sea bass contains a lectin or agglutinin, ditto with the soy sauce, artichokes and pumpkins are just an avoid, and radishes provoke abnormal blood reactions.
AB: Donít worry sis, I donít think youíre abnormal man. A little schizo perhaps, but
B: Wow, that certainly does explain the stomach grumbles after a feed. But thatís nothing that a can of coke canít fix. A good burp cures all ills.
O and AB look at each other with deadpan exasperation.
A: Ooooooh oooooh.
AB: Oh wow man, A doesnít look too good. Whatís up sis?.
A: I just couldnít handle it. I needed the instant gratification that only a pleasure seeker like me could crave. While you were being mr poindexter I whipped up a quick pizza and scoffed it down. Oooohhhh.
AB: Wow, thatís amazing man, you must have done that in record time. We didnít even see you.
A: Just call me efficient. Ooooh.
B: Just call you stupid you mean.
A: If your not careful Iíll throw up all over you.
B: It would most probably be the best thing youíve said all morning. Raaaalph, hey raaalph, where are you raaaalph.
O: Iím surrounded by morons.
A: Iím going for a walk before I collapse.
B: Good idea, say hello to Huey for me while youíre out. Haha.
AB: Hey man, youíre too mean to A man, sheís just trying to do the best she can in a tough situation man, just like the rest of us humans in this vast universe man. If youíre not careful youíll suffer the consequences of instant karma and how funny do you think that would be then man.
AB: Hey, whereíd B go man?
O: Does anybody really know.
AB: Whoa heavy man.
O: Well, Iím going to head down to the gym for a quick workout. Want to come?
AB: Ah, Iím not into workouts man.
Posted by: Melissa_J, Thursday, January 6, 2005, 2:02am; Reply: 34
The saga continues †;D

Is a sitcom in the works? †Educational and entertaining †;)

(I almost missed it...bump)
Posted by: Gee Whiz, Friday, January 7, 2005, 1:49am; Reply: 35
I love you, azzap, and your great O humor!  This is so true!  I grew up in a family of Os, now live with an AB, and have friends of all types.  Gawd, you are so right on the personality thing.  We're all such bloody stereotypes!!!  ;D

Keep it going.  None of us want to touch this, especially those sensitive As, Bs and ABs.  Just imagine what we Os would do to them if we thought they weren't following up correctly!  (Are we really that mean?  We don't seem to think so.)
Posted by: azzap, Friday, January 7, 2005, 12:17pm; Reply: 36
As silence descends on the Bloody household AB finds himself alone in an empty house.
AB: (speaking to himself) Ah, peace and quiet at last. Now this is what I really enjoy: quiet time alone.
2 and a half minutes later.
AB: Man Iím bored. Iíve really gotta get myself a hobby of some sort that doesnít involve anyone else because if I have to listen to my own mind fixating on issues I canít control Iím gonna go crazy. OK, ok, stressing out a little here, maybe a cup of coffee might do the trick. No no (flips through book) thatís an avoid, bummer. Well, what do you know, beer is a neutral. One trip to the fridge coming up. Hang on, green tea is a beneficial, even better.
Fixes a cup of green tea.
AB: Hmmm, interesting, an acquired taste Iíd say, but it seems to be doing the trick for the moment. Letís see now, if I write myself down a few goals for the year maybe Iíll be able to direct my energy into something constructive instead of sitting here with my thumb up my bum and my mind in neutral.
B: (walking back in from who knows where). Hiya AB, whatchadoin?
AB: Iím writing down some goals for the year.
B: Well that sure makes a change from your usual thumb in bum, mind in neutral approach.
AB: (thinks to self) Man, I was closer to the mark than I thought.
AB: Why donít YOU try doing the same man, you never know, you might surprise yourself. And by the way, whatís that youíre wearing?
B: Oh, itís a little number I picked up from the op shop. Paisley crocheted hat, in combination with a leather jacket, bright purple shirt, soft lemon short skirt and dusty old cowboy boots with long socks. I think it says ďfashionĒ.
AB: I think it says ďretardĒ.
B: Just because you donít have a sense for style doesnít mean I canít be creative.
O: (walks into room, sweat dripping from his face after running home from the gym) Oh my god, what the hell happened to you?. Did you run into a paint truck or something?. You really take this non-conformist thing too far sometimes.
B: Baloney, if I was in New York right now Iíd be a fashion hit.
O: More like a mafia hit I think. Boy, am I hungry. Iím just going to have a shower and then fix some lunch. I can feel a t-bone coming on. Hang on a minute, whatís that smell?. It smells likeÖ.
A: (walks into the room covered in excrement)
O, B, and AB: eeeeewwwwww. What happened?
A: Well, I went for a walk, and stopped by my friend Melissa-Jís house. We started talking about BTD and it seems sheís been doing it for quite a while because of a few medical and body dramas and also because sheís gluten intolerant. A ceiling act I think she called it.
B: I think youíll find thatís ďceliacĒ.
O: AndÖ
A: And so is her little boy. Well, he was outside playing with the next door neighbour, who happened to be feeding him some biscuits and other wheat based munchies and when he came back insideÖ.well the situation became, shall we sayÖexplosive. I never knew a little kid could have so much stored inside him. I need a shower bad.
O: Be my guest. And you can burn those clothes while youíre at it.
B: Well there goes my appetite.
O: Not this little black duck. Nothingís gonna stop me eating.
AB: Me neither. Any one for some green tea?
O: I always knew you were a sicko.
AB: No seriously man, you should try it. Itís beneficial for all of us.
O: Hmmmm, maybe later. I need meat.
B: Ugg, cave man must eat, must have meat ugg.
O: Hardy har har. Why donít you make yourself useful and get me a t-bone from the fridge. I believe there are some lean lamb chops in there too. You and A can have those if you like, and AB can have some turkey. As they say, you are what you eat.
AB: Yeh, sounds goodÖ..hey, I just got that man.
O: Thatís what I like about that boy, heís as sharp as a pound of wet leather.
Posted by: Debra+, Friday, January 7, 2005, 1:17pm; Reply: 37
I should never read these when I have to go pee.  :)

Posted by: Melissa_J, Friday, January 7, 2005, 9:41pm; Reply: 38
Sure, Paul gets an entry with herald angels, I'm introduced with poo.  

LOL!!  Oh well.  ;D

I'll save this to embarrass my son with when he's older.
Posted by: 748 (Guest), Saturday, January 8, 2005, 9:31pm; Reply: 39
Beautiful.....sniff, sniff,......just beautiful, man.......
Posted by: azzap, Monday, January 10, 2005, 11:52am; Reply: 40
As the Bloody family sit back and relax after a thoroughly compliant lunch, there comes a knock on the door. O gets up to answer it.

Hi, my names Melissa_J and this is my son, is A in?.
A: Come on in Melissa.
O,B, and AB stand up from the table and shuffle backwards, hands out in front of them. O whispers over his shoulder (quick guys, hide the biscuits)
Melissa_J: I came over to apologise for sending A home in such a state. Being a celiac can be a real pain in the butt.
O: Youíre telling us!. Look, Iíd love to chat but I feel like going for a walk. Iíll catch you guys later. Nice to meet you Melissa.
A: So tell me Melissa, what exactly is celiac disease. Iíve never heard of it.
Melissa_J: A person who has celiac disease is someone who has an immune reaction to gliadin, which is a protein found in wheat, rye, oats and barley.
AB: Oh wow, what a bummer man, thatís half the food types and additives in the world man. You must have a hard time finding stuff to eat man.
Melissa_J: Yes, it is a bit difficult, especially if you donít read the labels on food. But being on the BTD has helped me heaps. Itís made me even more vigilant.
B: So, what type of problems does a celiac face?
Melissa_J: Well, thereís diarrheaÖ.
AB: Yeh, we know about that one man hehe.
Melissa_J: Yes, well, and thereís weight loss, not the good kind, iron deficiency and a general nutrient malabsorption to boot. There is also evidence that the disease predisposes sufferers to the eventual development of lymphoma.
B: Whoa, so what can you do about it?
Melissa_J: All you really can do from a personal point of view is be very careful about what you eat in terms of avoiding the foods that trigger it, and try to tune into your body as much as possible to see how it is affected by what you put in it. There are also a number of herbal and naturopathic remedies you can use to strengthen your immune, intestinal and stomach health as well. Itís an ongoing operation thatís for sure.
B: What say we all sit down and have a nice cup of green tea and Melissa can tell us more about being a celiac. Iím certainly learning something here.
ALL: Good idea B.
Just then O comes racing through the door covered in sweat.
A: I thought you said you were only going for a walk. Sweatiest walk Iíve ever seen.
O: (puffing heavily) Well, it started out like that and I was happily strolling along and after a while I decided to sit on a park bench and just, well you know, smell the roses so to speak.
AB: Somehow I find that hard to believe man.
O: Itís true I tell you. I was minding my own business when this guy walked up and said, ďthatís my seat youíre sitting inĒ.
O: I was sure he was joking and so I said ďI donít see your name on itĒ, and then he started to get really aggressive. Man, I tell you, my heart started racing, my palms got sweaty, my muscles started tensing up and I realised that this guy was itching for a fight. But he was bigger than me, looked faster than me, more agile, more centred, more focused and more determined to win so I realised that there was only one sensible thing to do.
AB: You realised that peace was a better option man and so you reasoned with him that fighting was a futile waste of energy and human endeavour man?
O: No, I kicked him square in the nuts and ran for my life.
B: Nice one O, always the diplomat.
O: Phew, Iím all pepped up, I can actually feel the adrenalin racing through me.
Melissa_J: Why donít you try an adaptogen.
O: An adapto-who-now?
Melissa_J: An adaptogen. Itís a term used to categorise plants that improve the non-specific response to stress. Good ones for you are Rhodiola Rosea, plant sterols and sterolins, B vitamins and lipoic acid. They are something you add to your daily intake to enable your body to deal with stress more effectively. Right now though, Iíd suggest a few pushups to release the tension hey?
O: Right you are. 1,2,3,4Ö
As O drops for twenty, Melissa_J gets up and walks towards the bedroom door where her son is playing. As she stands in the doorway, the sun streaming through the window illuminates her in a soft glow. A peaceful feeling descends upon the room. A sound is heard.
A: Whatís that noise, is that the heralding trumpets of a thousand heavenly angels?
Melissa_J: Nope, it looks like my son must have found the biscuits.
ALL: eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww.
Posted by: Melissa_J, Monday, January 10, 2005, 8:45pm; Reply: 41
LOL!! †(smarty)
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Monday, January 10, 2005, 10:29pm; Reply: 42
;D  ;D  ;D ;D  ;D

azzap- super- great ,
Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 1:19pm; Reply: 43
The afternoon sun falls slowly from the sky creating a soft palette of blue-purple-yellow colour across the horizon and the world of the Bloody family starts to ease itís way to a close for another day. As O rolls up the fire-hose from cleaning out the bedroom he spots A and B in intense discussion, with AB looking on.

A: Iím sick of you using my shampoo and conditioner. Why canít you get your own for once.
AB: Right on sister, donít be letting B get away with that.
B: I only use it because youíre always stealing my face creams so I consider it payback.
AB: Tell it like it is B.
A: Oh yeh, then why are all my face creams empty.
AB: Yeh B, answer that one.
B: Well if you were better organised (like you always claim you are) you would realise you need more than you actually buy.
AB: Sheís got you there A.
A & B: Whose side are you on?
AB: Iím not on anybodyís side man. Actually, Iím on both your sides. I love everybody man.
O: Yeh, Iíve often wondered where your loyalties lie. Youíve always been a bit of an enigma to me.
AB: Is that a good thing, or a bad thing man?
O: Never mind. Whatís everybody having for dinner?
AB: Tonight, Iíve made up some lamb stew, chock full of veggies such as asparagus, beet greens, brocolli, sweet potato and yams, with onion as well of course.
O: Wow, sounds great, we could all have that.
A: Sorry, not me, too many avoids in there for my liking. Gee, this BTD thing is really starting to take hold with us isnít it?. Iím going to have a nice piece of fish, probably some salmon, some fava beans, a little alfalfa, broccoli, carrot and pumpkin, with a squeeze of lemon and a sprig of coriander.

The family all sits down for dinner with discussion ranging from used face creams (again) to the origins of the universe (AB of course). After dinner, they each go their separate way to prepare for bed or whatever takes their fancy. A while later, A comes out of her bedroom, having organised her entire wardrobe for the week, and finds AB on the phone.

A: Who you talking to AB?
AB: Itís a friend Iíve met from the BTD forums. Her name is Isa-Manuela and she lives in Zurich. She runs her own practice and uses herbs and aromatherapy and all that natural alternate stuff that I love. Here, say hello.
A: Hi Isa.
Isa: jjjjjjjiiiiiiaaaaaaaoooooooouuuuuuuuu-hi hi hiii-heeeeeellllllooooooooo-super-super-super-looks to what is inside you-hi hi hi-not avoids-beurx-beurx-beurx-love to you all at home-amicalament yours-Isa.
A: (gives phone back to AB)
AB: So what did she say?
A: I have absolutely no idea. But for some strange reason she has made me feel really good about myself.
AB: She has that effect on people. (goes back to talking to Isa)
O: Hey A, want to come for a short evening walk and look at the stars?
A: Come again?. Do I detect a less aggressive and more ďin tuneĒ O than what we are used to?
O: Yes you do, and if you say that again Iíll smash your face in.
A: Just as I thought. Business as usual. You know, if youíre not careful, eating right for your type might just turn more into someone like AB.
O: My fist is moving towards your face.
A: Ha ha, chill out dude. No one could be like AB.
AB: I heard that man.
B: Hey wait you guys, I want to come with you. Seeing O in wonderment of the universe is something nobody should miss.
O: Itís times like this I wish I was out on an open plain somewhere with no-one else around.
B: Ah shutup, you love us!.

As AB sits on the floor in deep conversation with his new friend, O,A, and B stroll along watching the night sky, not saying anything and just enjoying the moment. A perfect day for the Bloody family ends.

Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 6:13pm; Reply: 44
Oh wait till Isa sees this. † ;D ;D ;D ;D

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 6:46pm; Reply: 45
ooooouuuuuuhh- is there anybody for translations ;D ;D ;D

azzap :K)  :K)  :K)

thanks ;D

8) truly yours Isa                   ,D ;D ;D
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 8:19pm; Reply: 46
And what language do you want the translation to?  :)

Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 8:29pm; Reply: 47
Isa-I hope I got the right one. ;) :) †I hope it doesn't get lost in the translation. †:)


Le soleil d'aprŤs-midi tombe lentement du ciel crťant une palette molle de couleur bleu-pourpre-jaune ŗ travers l'horizon et le monde de la famille sanglante commence ŗ la soulager est maniŤre ŗ une fin pour un autre jour. Car O enroule le feu-tuyau du nettoyage hors de la chambre ŗ coucher qu'il repŤre A et B dans la discussion intense, avec le ab regardant dessus.
A : Je suis malade de vous employant mon shampooing et conditionneur. Pourquoi ne pouvez pas vous obtenir vos propres pour une fois.
Ab : Droit sur la soeur, ne laissent pas B partir avec cela.
B : Je l'emploie seulement parce que vous volez toujours mon visage ťcrŤme ainsi je le considŤre remboursement.
Ab : Dites-le l'aiment est B.
A : Le yeh d'Oh, alors pourquoi sont tout mon visage ťcrŤme vide.
Ab : Yeh B, rťpondent ŗ celui-lŗ.
B : Jaillissez si vous mieux vous ťtaient organisťs (comme vous rťclamez-toujours vous sont) vous rťalise le besoin davantage que vous achetez rťellement.
Ab : Elle vous a lŗ A.
A Et B : ņ qui cŰtť vous Ítes en ligne ?
Ab : Je ne suis pas sur quiconque homme de cŰtť. En fait, je suis des deux vos cŰtťs. J'aime tout le monde homme.
O : Yeh, je me suis souvent demandť oý vos fidťlitťs se trouvent. Vous avez toujours ťtť un peu une ťnigme ŗ moi.
Ab : Est-ce que c'est une bonne chose, ou un mauvais homme de chose ?
O : «a ne fait rien. Queest-ce que tout le monde est pris pour le dÓner ?
Ab : Ce soir, j'ai composť quelques ragoŻt d'agneau, cale complŤtement des veggies tels que l'asperge, verts de betterave, brocolli, patate douce et ignames de chine, avec l'oignon aussi bien naturellement.
O : Dťfaut de la reproduction sonore, bruits grands, nous pourrions tout avoir cela. A : Dťsolť, pas je, un trop grand nombre ťvite dedans lŗ pour mon aimer. Gee, cette chose de BTD commence vraiment ŗ prendre la prise avec nous n'est pas lui ?. Je vais avoir un morceau gentil de poissons, probablement un certain saumon, quelques haricots de fava, une peu de luzerne, broccoli, carotte et potiron, avec une compression de citron et un brin de coriandre. La famille que tout se repose vers le bas pour le dÓner avec la discussion s'ťtendant du visage utilisť ťcrŤme (encore) aux origines de l'univers (ab naturellement). AprŤs dÓner, elles chacune vont leur maniŤre sťparťe de se prťparer au lit ou celui qui prend leur fantaisie. Un moment plus tard, A sort de sa chambre ŗ coucher, ayant organisť son garde-robe entiŤre pour la semaine, et trouve le ab au tťlťphone.
A : Qui vous parlant au ab ?
Ab : C'est un ami que j'ai rencontrť des forum de BTD. Son nom est Isa-Manuela et elle habite ŗ Zurich. Elle court sa propre pratique et emploie les herbes et aromatherapy et tout qui la substance alternative normale que j'aime. Ici, parole bonjour.
A : Bonjour Isa.
Isa : jjjjjjjiiiiiiaaaaaaaoooooooouuuuuuuuu-salut salut hiii-heeeeeellllllooooooooo-superbe-superbe-superbe-regarde ŗ ce qui est ťviter-beurx-beurx-beurx-amour ŗ vous tout d'intťrieur vous-salut salut salut-non ŗ la maison-amicalament vŰtre-Isa.
A : (donne le tťlťphone de nouveau au ab) ab : Ainsi qu'a-t-elle dit ?
A : Je n'ai absolument aucune idťe. Mais pour une certaine raison ťtrange elle a rendu me le sentir vraiment bon au sujet de me.
Ab : Elle a qu'effet sur les personnes (va de nouveau ŗ parler ŗ Isa)
O : Hť A, veulent venir pour une promenade courte de soirťe et le regard au tient le premier rŰle-il ?
A : Venez encore ?. Est-ce que je dťtecte moins un agressif et plus "dans l'air" O qu'ŗ ce que nous sommes employťs ?
O : Oui vous , et si vous dites qu'encore je casserai votre visage dedans.
A : Juste comme pensťe de I. Affaires comme d'habitude. Vous savez, si vous ne faites pas attention, mangeant bien pour votre type pourriez juste transformer plus en quelqu'un comme le ab.
O : Mon poing se dťplace vers votre visage.
A : Ha ha, froid hors de type. Personne n'ont pu Ítre comme le ab.
Ab : J'ai entendu cet homme.
B : Hť attente vous des types, je veux venir avec vous. Voir O dans l'ťmerveillement de l'univers est quelque chose que personne ne devrait manquer.
O : Il est temps comme ceci que je souhaite que j'aie ťtť dehors sur une plaine ouverte quelque part avec personne d'autre autour.
B : Shutup d'ampŤreheure, vous nous aimez !. Pendant que le ab se repose sur le plancher dans la conversation profonde avec son nouvel ami, O,A, et B fl‚nent le long d'observer le ciel de nuit, de ne pas dire quelque chose et de ne pas apprťcier juste le moment. Un jour parfait pour la famille sanglante finit.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 10:03pm; Reply: 48
oh geil- geht das bittšschein auch in Deitsch??? ;D ;D ;D

nee, nee ou la peauvre fille- elle a du travailler comme une dingue ;D ;D ;D

super- great both   higgi bugies- hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D

8) jaouuuuuuuuuuu truly yours Isa :D
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 10:31pm; Reply: 49
"nee, nee ou la peauvre fille- elle a du travailler comme une dingue"
† † † † † † † † † †- the poor girl has to work like a nutcase??????

the first sentence I can't fiugre out. †Sorry.   ??) :( :)

It seems like you liked it though, I hope.   ;) :)

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 10:38pm; Reply: 50
translation for debra: oh super- does it is possible also in German?
next:,nee,nee = no-no jaou you are right with the case
claro I liked it ;D ;D thanks mais a vrais dire- ma bien-chŤre, avec l'orthographie
hoppala- cela ŗ du avoir quelque chose en plus!   ;D
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 10:46pm; Reply: 51
Isa- How is this? :)

Die Nachmittag Sonne fšllt langsam vom Himmel, der eine weiche Palette der blau-purpurrot-gelben Farbe Łber dem Horizont herstellt und die Welt der blutigen Familie beginnt, sie zu erleichtern ist Weise zu einem Ende fŁr einen anderen Tag. Da O oben den Feuer-Schlauch vom Sšubern aus dem Schlafzimmer rollt, das er A und B in der intensiven Diskussion beschmutzt, wenn AB an schaut.
A: Ich bin Kranker von Ihnen mein Shampoo verwendend und Conditioner. Warum nicht Sie Ihre Selbst fŁr einmal erhalten kŲnnen.
AB: Recht auf Schwester, nicht lassen B mit dem weg erhalten.
B: Ich verwende es nur, weil Sie immer mein Gesicht sahnen stehlen, also ich es fŁr RŁckzahlung halte.
AB: Erklšren Sie sie mŲgen es ist B.
A: OH- yeh, dann, warum mein ganzes Gesicht sind, sahnt leeres.
AB: Yeh B, beantworten dieses.
B: Quellen Sie wenn Sie wurden besser organisiert (wie Sie behaupten Sie Sie immer sind), Ihnen wurde verwirklicht Sie Notwendigkeit mehr hervor, als Sie wirklich kaufen.
AB: Sie hat Sie dort A. A U.
B: Wem Seite sind Sie an?
AB: Ich bin nicht auf jedem Seite Mann. Wirklich bin ich auf beiden Ihren Seiten. Ich liebe jeder Mann.
O: Yeh, habe ich hšufig mich gewundert, wo Ihre Loyalitšten liegen. Sie sind immer ein wenig ein Rštsel zu mir gewesen.
AB: Ist die eine gute Sache oder ein schlechter Sachemann?
O: Nie Verstand. Was wird jeder fŁr Abendessen gehabt?
AB: Heute abend habe ich einiges Lammeintopfgericht, Keil voll von veggies wie Spargel, rote RŁbe GrŁns, brocolli, sŁsse Kartoffel und Yamswurzeln, mit Zwiebel auŖerdem selbstverstšndlich gebildet.
O: Wimmern, die groŖen TŲne, alle kŲnnten wir das haben.
A: Traurig, nicht ich, zu viele vermeidet innen dort fŁr mein MŲgen. Gee, diese BTD Sache beginnt wirklich, EinfluŖ mit uns zu nehmen ist nicht es?. Ich werde ein nettes StŁck Fische, vermutlich irgendeinen Lachs, einige fava Bohnen, eine wenige Luzerne, Brokkoli, Karotte und KŁrbis, mit einer Pressung der Zitrone und einen Sprig des Korianders haben. Die Familie, die alle unten fŁr Abendessen mit der Diskussion sitzt, die von benutztem Gesicht reicht, sahnt (wieder) zu den Ursprung des Universums (AB selbstverstšndlich). Nach Abendessen gehen sie jeder ihre unterschiedliche Weise, sich fŁr Bett vorzubereiten, oder was auch immer ihren Gefallen findet. Eine Weile spšter, kommt A aus ihr Schlafzimmer heraus, nachdem esorganisiert ihre gesamte Garderobe fŁr die Woche esorganisiert hatte, und findet AB am Telefon.
A: Wer Sie sprechend mit AB?
AB: Es ist ein Freund, den ich von den BTD Foren getroffen habe. Ihr Name ist Isa-Manuela und sie wohnt in ZŁrich. Sie lšŖt ihre eigene Praxis laufen und benutzt Kršuter und aromatherapy und alles, die natŁrliches wechselndes Material, das ich liebe. Hier Sagen hallo.
A: Hallo Isa. Isa: jjjjjjjiiiiiiaaaaaaaoooooooouuuuuuuuu-hallo hallo hiii-heeeeeellllllooooooooo-Super--Super--Super-schaut zu, was Innere Sie-hallo hallo hallo-nicht Vermeiden-beurx-beurx-beurxliebe zu Ihnen alle am Haus-amicalament Ihr-Isa ist.
A: (gibt Telefon zurŁck zu AB),
AB: So was sagte sie? A: Ich habe absolut keine Idee. Aber aus etwas merkwŁrdigem Grund hat sie mich fŁhlen wirklich gut Łber mich gebildet.
AB: Sie hat, daŖ Effekt auf Leute (geht zurŁck zu der Unterhaltung mit Isa),
O: He mŲchten A, fŁr einen kurzen Abendweg kommen und die Sterne betrachten? A: Wieder gekommen?. An ermittele ich ein weniger konkurrenzfšhiges und mehr "in Melodie" O als, was wir gewŲhntSIND?
O: Ja Sie und wenn Sie sagen, daŖ wieder ich Ihr Gesicht innen zertrŁmmere.
A: Gerade als I Gedanke. Geschšft, wie Łblich. Sie wissen, wenn Sie nicht achtgeben und nach rechts essen fŁr Ihre Art, konnten mehr zu jemand wie AB gerade machen.
O: Meine Faust bewegt in Richtung zu Ihrem Gesicht.
A: Ha ha, Schauer aus Gecken. Niemand konnten wie AB sein.
AB: Ich hŲrte diesen Mann.
B: He Wartezeit Sie Kerle, mŲchte ich mit Ihnen kommen. O im wonderment des Universums zu sehen ist etwas, das niemand vermissen sollte.
O: Es ist Zeiten so, das ich wŁnsche, daŖ ich heraus auf einer geŲffneten Ebene irgendwo mit niemand anders herum war.
B: Amperestunde shutup, lieben Sie uns!.
Wšhrend AB auf dem FuŖboden im tiefen Gespršch mit seinem neuen Freund sitzt, schlendern O,A und B entlang dem Aufpassen des Nachthimmels, dem Sagen nicht alles und den Moment gerade genieŖen. Ein vollkommener Tag fŁr die blutige Familie beendet.

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 11:13pm; Reply: 52
Mann- oh Mann- debraaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!
whats that a quickfinder for teutonic -ones???? Hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa ;D ;D ;D ;D
debra you are to sweet- great stuff hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ich habs ja immer gewusst, die UebersetzungskŁnstler in teutonic sind nich das was sie mal waren- hi-hi-hi :D  :D great- great
I allowed myselve- to copy this hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii oh debra love you so much thanks

ROFL  - ;D  ROFL -  ;D  ROFL    ;D


                             ROFLOLPIMP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ........................................... must go now  ;D

derba thanks and good night

8) - regards Isa
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 12, 2005, 11:17pm; Reply: 53
Your welcome-sweet dreams. †:K) :) And don't forget to thank azzap he's the one doing all of the work.  I'm just clicking the buttons.  :)

Posted by: Lola, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 3:31am; Reply: 54
Debra, did you use the 'babel' translation tool, or some other?

if so, which one, pls?

lol, too funny!!
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 3:44am; Reply: 55
lola-the 'babel' translation tool is what I used. †Is it not neat. Just copy, paste and click, click-there it is. †I wasn't sure if it would work, but Isa is very pleased with it. †I try to translate some of her writings, but it does not always turn out. †She has a language all of her own that I just love.  :D

Posted by: Lola, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 3:52am; Reply: 56
yes indeed!!
Isa needs a whole different translation tool, in fact a new language of her own!!  lol

the tool is very translates everything 'literarily' (if that s a word!?)
sometimes the sentences loose meaning, because of the translation....
an example would be:
find the translation in spanish for spelt.......

the result.:    ''past tense of ''to spell''  LOL

that s how babel fish translates!!!   too funny
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 4:04am; Reply: 57
;D ;D ;D ;D-no wonder Isa is †"ROFLOLPIMP". ;D ;D ;D ;D

Posted by: Chanur, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 4:13am; Reply: 58
Maybe she is an esperantist? (just kidding)

I'm glad she's here. (not kidding)

azzap: I don't know how you manage to write these stories, but PLEASE keep 'em coming!
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, January 13, 2005, 10:15am; Reply: 59
re- bonjour :B  :B  :B

what an honour for me!
Must say, that this translater is a real pidgin-one- therefor even my blah-blah is better

but must be honest- debra it was super to do this, claro thanks for azzap for all that joy and
laughters- eh peoples- I have had a very hard time to pass, but now I feel really great
laughters in the morning- laughters in the eveneing- but this was the point onto the i's

I am really very happy to be "on board" and that I have had the chance to meet you all!
Its' so much fun and  azzapchen gives us back our mirrors, great for that.
Whats ok for me, hope for you all too, it is not soooo important how we do something, or spell or say, but important is communication- equal how it will correspond to any
"legal" orthographia"    ;D  ;D ;D

8) - see you soon and thanks for all truly yours Isa
Posted by: Kristin, Thursday, January 13, 2005, 3:17pm; Reply: 60
Lovely sentiment, Isa

:)   :K)   :)
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Thursday, January 13, 2005, 10:34pm; Reply: 61
Gals, this is a Bloody international family!

Azzap: this is stuff for CABARET!!! :D

I just LOVE  this story in english, french and german!!!

Debra, I think it can also be translated in Dutch.  
Could you push the dutch button??

Azzap what is your work in daily life??? You make me curious!!! ??)



Posted by: Debra+, Friday, January 14, 2005, 12:58am; Reply: 62
Cocky-here you go in Dutch. (Whoa. My head is starting to spin from all of this translating.)  ;) :)


De dalingen van de middagzon langzaam van de hemel die tot zachte palette van blauw-purper-gele kleur over de horizon en de wereld van het Bloedige te verlichten familiebegin leidt het is manier aan het sluiten voor een andere dag. Aangezien O de brand-slang van het leeghalen van de slaapkamer oprolt bevlekt hij A en B in intense bespreking, met ab kijkend.
A: Ik ben ziek van u die mijn shampoo en veredelingsmiddel gebruiken. Waarom u niet kunt uw worden voor een keer.
Ab: Het recht op zuster, laat geen B met dat weggaan.
B: Ik gebruik het slechts omdat u altijd mijn gezichtsroom steelt zodat beschouw ik als het terugbetaling.
Ab: Vertel het als het is B.
A: Oh yeh, dan waarom al mijn lege gezichtsroom zijn.
Ab: Yeh B, beantwoordt dat.
B: Goed als u beter werd georganiseerd (als u eis altijd u) bent u zou realiseren u nodig hebt meer dan u eigenlijk koopt.
Ab: Zij heeft u daar A. A & B: Wiens kant bent u?
Ab: Ik ben niet op om het even wie de zijmens. Eigenlijk, ben ik aan beide kanten. Ik houd van iedereen mens.
O: Yeh, ben ik vaak benieuwd geweest waar uw loyaliteit liggen. U bent altijd een weinig enigma aan me geweest.
Ab: Is dat een goede zaak, of een slecht ding mens?
O: Nooit mening. Wat wordt iedereen gehad voor diner?
Ab: Vanavond, heb ik omhoog ťťn of ander lam gemaakt stoven, hoogtepunt van veggies zoals asperge, bietengreens, brocolli, bataat en yams, met ui eveneens natuurlijk geblokkeerd.
O: Wow, grote geluiden, konden wij allen dat hebben.
A: Droevig, niet me, teveel vermijdt binnen daar voor mijn het houden van. Gee, dit ding BTD begint werkelijk om greep met ons te nemen is niet het?. Ik ga een aardig stuk vissen, waarschijnlijk ťťn of andere zalm, sommige favabonen, wat alfalfa hebben, broccoli, wortel en pompoen, met een samendrukking van citroen en een sprig van koriander. De familie allen gaat zitten voor diner met bespreking die zich van gebruikte gezichtsroom (opnieuw) uitstrekt aan de oorsprong van het heelal (ab natuurlijk). Na diner, zij elk hun afzonderlijke manier gaan om voor bed voorbereidingen te treffen of de opbrengsten hun luim. Een later tijdje, komt A uit haar slaapkamer, heeft georganiseerd haar volledige garderobe voor de week, en vindt ab op de telefoon.
A: Wie u die spreken aan ab?
Ab: Het is een vriend die ik van de forums BTD heb ontmoet. Haar naam is isa-Manuela en zij leeft in ZŁrich. Zij stelt haar eigen praktijk in werking en gebruikt kruiden en aromatherapy en allen die natuurlijk afwisselend materiaal datvan ik houd. Hier, zeg hello.
A: Hallo Isa.
Isa: jjjjjjjiiiiiiaaaaaaaoooooooouuuuuuuuu-hallo hallo hiii-heeeeeellllllooooooooo-super-blikken aan wat binnenkant u-hallo hallo hallo-niet ver*mijden-beurx-liefde aan u allen bij huis-amicalament van u-isa is.
A: (geeft telefoon terug naar ab) ab: Dat wat zei zij? A: Ik heb absoluut geen idee. Maar om wat vreemde reden heeft zij me gevoel werkelijk over mij goed gemaakt. Ab: Zij heeft dat effect op mensen (gaat aan het spreken aan Isa terug)
O: Hey A, wil voor een korte avondgang komen en de sterren bekijken?
A: Kom opnieuw?. Ontdek ik minder agressief en meer "in wijsje" O dan wat wij aan worden gebruikt?
O: Ja u, en als u zegt dat ik opnieuw uw gezicht binnen zal breken.
A: Enkel als gedachte van I. Zaken zoals gebruikelijk. U kent, als u niet zorgvuldig bent, het etn net voor uw type enkel zou kunnen meer in iemand als ab veranderen.
O: Mijn vuist is naar uw gezicht op weg.
A: Ha Ha, koele uit dude. Niemand zou als ab kunnen zijn.
Ab: Ik hoorde die mens.
B: Hey wacht u kerels, wil ik met u komen. Het zien van O in verwondering van het heelal is iets niemand zou moeten missen.
O: Het is tijden als dit ik wens ik uit op een open vlakte ergens met niemand anders rond was.
B: Ah shutup, u houdt van ons!. Aangezien ab op de vloer in diep gesprek met zijn nieuwe vriend, O,A, en stroll van B langs het letten van de op nachthemel zit, zeggend om het even wat niet en enkel genietend van het ogenblik. Een perfecte dag voor de Bloedige familie beŽindigt.
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 10:04pm; Reply: 63

Sorry I did not react sooner... have been busy preparing things for next week in Berlin.

Debra, really this is awesome!! From the dutch wording I have the feeling that this translating machine is a belgian one..  ;) ;)

This is really funny!!!  ;D ;D
Wonder what Azzap is doing in his daily life as a profession...

Debra could you give the link of this translation site?? Or you already have given it??

I will be back next week.. I am in Berlin the next week. If possible I will report from the Wellness Fair next week... Sort of On the Spot Report..  ::)

Take care

Posted by: Debra+, Tuesday, January 18, 2005, 10:11pm; Reply: 64
Cocky: †The site is † †Somewhere on this site I got it through Dr. D (I think). †Enjoy.   :)

Where are you these days azzap?  :)

Posted by: yaman, Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 7:55am; Reply: 65

Aaron will be back tomorrow. I guess he is paying a visit to the BF ;D

Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 1:25pm; Reply: 66
Azzap: Iíve been on holidays but now Iím baaaaaaccckkk. (by the way Cocky, I work as a property valuation assistant in a property valuation firm (duh) here on the beautiful Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia)). Oh, and all the translation work you guys have been doing is mind boggling. Great stuff. And now, the story continues.

The sound of crickets permeates the air as O, B and AB sit quietly watching the late show on television. Soon a very, very, very off key singing can be heard getting closer to the house.

Home, home on the range, where the dear and the antelope playeeeeee, where seldom is heard, a discouraging bird, and the flies are not crowded all daaaaayyyyyeeeeeeee.

O: Ooh oh, looks like Aís been on the sauce again.
B: Sheís really got to find a better way to deal with her daily stresses.
AB: Yeh man, but you know what Aís like man, always after the pleasure sensationÖ
A: (stumbling through the door) Hi gang, look what I brought ush. Iíve got some potato chipsh, and shome schticky buns and a whole heap of other yummy shtuff, and of course (burp) a few brewsky wewskiís to tide ush over for the eveni(hic), for the eveni(hic), for the night.
O: (walking into the kitchen) Gee, talk about your carbo craving. But I guess the old alkeehol will do that to you every time.
A: Oh, and Iíd alsho like to introduce you to a life long friend of mine that I jusht met tonight. Everybody, this is Kristen.
Kristen: Hi everyone.
B and AB: Hi Kristen.
A: Kristen is a B, just like you B. Hey O, come in here and meet Kristen.
A: (as O walks in from the kitchen) O, Iíd like you to meetÖ.hey, where did B and Kristen go?
AB: There they are, hiking across that field over there.
A: Man, canít that woman stay in one plashe for two sheconds.
O: Well, when the urge takes you, I guess youíve just gotta go.
A: Shpeaking of going, I gotta go to the bathroom.
AB: Make sure you say hello to my friend raaaalph man. Hehe.
O: Now címon AB, thatís not very funny. You forgot to mention your friend huey as well. Hehe.
The sounds of vomiting render the air as O and AB roll on the floor laughing and making gagging noises. As the tears dry from their eyes they realise that B and Kristen are back.
O: Wow, that was quick. Usually youíre gone for ages. What gives?
B: We realised that stomping around in the dark was probably not the most sensible thing to do so weíve come back to plan for a trek tomorrow.
AB: So why did you go in the first place man?
Kristen: Thereís nothing like a bit of spontaneity I always say. Whereís A?
O: Sheís just out driving the porcelain bus.
Kristen: Porcelain bus! Hehe thatís a good one.
O: AB, how about showing some hospitality and ask Kristen if sheíd like a drink.
AB: Why me man?, just because youíre the oldest around here doesnít mean you can go about bossing people around man, one day the meek are going to rise up against your neo-fascist authoritarianism man and break down the barriers of hate and control and bring love into the world man.
O: Are you finished?
AB: Erm, yeh I guess so!
O: Can you get Kristen a drink?
AB: Erm, yeh I guess so. What would you like Kristen?
Kristen: How about a Membrane Fluidiser Cocktail.
AB: A membrane what now?
Kristen: A Membrane Fluidiser Cocktail. Itís an absolute must if youíre a type B and itís a great way to replace the lycopene that we miss due to tomatoes being an avoid. Itís easy to make too. You can use either guava, watermelon or grapefruit juice as the base, add a half to one teaspoon of high quality flaxseed oil, and one tablespoon of good quality lecithin. You shake it all up and the lecithin emulsifies the oil, which makes a sort of smoothie. Itís great to have first thing in the morning but Iíve got a hankering for one right now. So did you get all that?
AB: Everything except the part after ďabsolute mustĒ. Hehe, only joking man. I think weíve got all that stuff in here somewhere. Why is it called a Membrane Fluidiser Cocktail?
Kristen: Because it keeps your cell membranes fluid.
AB: Naturally!
A: (coming out of bathroom) Ooooooooh, oooooooh, I knew I shouldnít have had that beef burrito after we did the tequila slammers. Those burritos will get you every time. Lucky I had the six beers to wash it down.
O: YehÖ. Lucky.
A: I think itís time I went to bed. You can stay the night if youíd like Kristen, weíve got plenty of room.
Kristen: Thanks, but I think Iíll get going soon. B and I have a big day of hiking ahead of us tomorrow. Donít we BÖ where the hell has she gone?

Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 1:58pm; Reply: 67
Welcome back azzap!!!!! † :D   Hope that your holidays were good and love the story. †The translations are from babel translation. †The others know that and are on their own now. † ;D† ;D ;D

Catch you later. :)


Posted by: Kristin, Wednesday, January 19, 2005, 11:24pm; Reply: 68
LOL Aaron!!! And welcome back.

Oh my, well, yes, I knew my time would come, but in the hurl episode? Did you know me in college or something?!?

At least I didn't get poo like Melissa!!   ;D   ;D

And I probably would prefer MFC to alcohol in most situations.

;D    ;D   ;D
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, January 20, 2005, 9:37am; Reply: 69
A: Good morning kiddies. How are we feeling on this beautiful of beautiful mornings?
B: Well, you seem very chipper this morning considering you resembled more of a train wreck last night.
O: Train wreck?, more like a natural disaster.
A: Yes, I must admit, I was less than ďnormalĒ last night but due to my extraordinary capability for recovery, today I feel great.
AB: If that was me, Iíd be sick for a week.
A: AB, you donít need to drink to look sick for a week.
AB: Smart "fatherless child"!
A: Indeed, you have hit the nail right on the head, not only do I have extraordinary capabilities for recovery, I also have extraordinary capabilities of the mind (turns around to walk into kitchen, trips over her feet and falls flat on her face. O,B and AB roar with laughter)
AB: Now thatís what I call instant karma.
O: Yeh, pity you donít have extraordinary capabilities of the feet. How long have you been walking roughly? Oh, about 2 seconds, haha.
A: OK, youíve had your little laugh. But now I want to talk about something more serious. Even though I was somewhat less than lucid last night, I was still able to see that we havenít exactly sorted out our food problems yet. The fridge is chockers.
B: Yes, youíve got a point there, and Iím not talking about the one on top of your head.
AB: Boom boom.
A: Finished?, good, just be thankful that someone around here knows how to organise things because today, we are going to tackle this food problem head-on and make some room in that fridge.
O: So what do you suggest mon capitan?
A: Well, firstly, lets get the book out and find out which foods are beneficial for all of us, that way, we can at least be sure that weíve got some sort of ďcoreĒ foods to work with. At the same time, if there are any avoids that cover the four of us we can get rid of those too.
O: Blimey, Iíve never seen you more motivated. Maybe you should go out and get on the turps more often. You might wake up and clean your room once in a while (elbows AB and laughs)
AB: I donít think sheís impressed man. If looks could kill!
A: Iíll pretend I didnít hear that. Right you lot, B, grab a pad and pen, you can be the note taker, O, you can be the food finder, and you AB can be the sorter and stacker.
AB: Really, and just what are you going to be?
A: Iím going to be the person who carries the big stick and wacks you over the head with it if you donít do what youíre told.
AB: Gotcha.
A: OK, lets see, beneficials, beneficials, beneficials. Right. These are the beneficials that cover all four blood types. I wonít go into the secretor types because we donít know yet exactly what we are, but as long as the word ďavoidĒ doesnít appear anywhere, either as secretor or non-secretor, and the food is beneficial for at least 3 people, then weíll include it OK?
A: Well, what do you know, no meats cover all four, interesting. What about fish?
Cod, Mackerel, Pickerel, Pike, Red Snapper, Salmon, Sardine, Sturgeon. Well, thatís it for fish. How are we doing O?. do we have any of those?
O: Nope, but thereís something here that resembles a fish. Itís wrapped in a carton and has the words, crumbed fillet pieces on it.
B: Out it goes. Thereíll be no more of that in this household.
O: Yes sir (throws a salute). Now, what about dairy?
A: Nope, nothing there either, and that covers eggs too. This is very interesting. Thereís plenty of avoids though but weíll get to that later. On to the beans and legumes.
A: Wow, nothing there either. OK, nuts and seeds. Black Walnuts, English Walnuts. Thatís it. How about grains. Essene (manna) Bread, Ezekiel Bread, hmmm, we could include some of the rice products but they are only beneficial for 2 of us and neutral for 2 so weíll leave that out for now. On to the veggies.
B: You really shouldnít talk about O like that hehe. (O pokes tongue out)
A: Good one B. Beet Greens, Broccoli, Collard Greens, Dandelion, Garlic, Ginger, Kale, Okra, Parsnip. OK, thereís a reasonable selection there. What about fruits?
A: Cherries, Cranberry, Figs, Pineapple, Plums. Hmmm, less than I thought. Thereís only 2 oils that cover us all and thatís Olive oil and Walnut oil, so what about herbs and spices?. Letís see, Curry, Parsley and Turmeric. Thereís lots of neutrals though. On the condiments side of things thereís Brewerís Yeast, and Blackstrap Molasses on the sweeteners. As for beverages, thereís only Green Tea.
AB: Well it doesnít seem like much man, but you could make a lot of recipes with those foods. Weíve already got some of the fruit and veggies and a few of the other things, but as for the fridge, itís still packed. What about the avoids man?
A: OK, for the food to be an avoid, it must have the word avoid in either the secretor or non-secretor section and there must be 4 avoids across the 4 blood types. Now, back to the meats. OK, Bacon/Ham/Pork.
B: Oh no, not the bacon, not the bacon. What am I going to have on a Sunday morning for breakfast.
O: Something else obviously.
B: SunnovaÖ.stupid blood type dietÖ.goddammit.
O: Problem B?
B: No, not at all, Iím fine thank you very muchÖÖsunnovaÖ.
O: Good, now keep writing.
A: OK, Quail, TurtleÖandÖthatís it. Now Fish. Anchovy, Barracuda, Conch, Crab.
B: Why you littleÖÖoh man.
A: Frog and Octopus. On to the dairy, American Cheese, Blue Cheese, Camembert CheeseÖ
B: Noooooooooooooooooooo.
A: My sentiments exactly. Emmenthal Cheese (whatever that is), Ice Cream, Parmesan Cheese, Provolone Cheese, Swiss Cheese. Hey, whereís B?
O: Shesí out the back crying I think. It was the Ice Cream that did it. Iíve shed a tear or two myself in that list. But, letsí keep going. I see thereís no avoid eggs, what about beans and legumes.
A: Garbanzo (chickpea) Beans. Thatís it. Nuts and seedsÖ..Cashews,
AB: Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh.
A: Donít stress, if it turns out youíre a secretor then they are neutral, but for now, theyíre out of there.
AB: Aaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhh.
A: Pistachio, Sunflower Seeds. On to the grainsÖ.Corn (all), Cornmeal, Popcorn, Wheat Germ, Wheat, Semolina Flour Products (pasta), and White Flour Products.
A: Veggies, Agar, Juniper, Olives (black), Rhubarb, and now onto fruits..Bitter Melon, Coconut, Coconut Milk..thatís interesting, I wonder how the islanders ever got on?.. Honeydew, and thatís it. Avoid oils are Coconut, surprise, surprise, Corn Oil, Cottonseed Oil and Safflower Oil. Herbs and spices are Acacia (Arabic Gum), Cornstarch and Pepper, and Condiments are Carrageenan, Guar Gum, Ketchup (sniff sniff), MSG, Mustard (with vinegar and wheat), Pickle Relish, and Worcestershire bloody sauce, Oh no way, not on, thatís unfair.
O: Be strong A, be strong.
A: OK, itís for the best I guess. Sweeteners are Aspartame, no loss there thatís for sure, Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Invert Sugar, Maltodextrin and Sucanat, and as for beverages, we have Distilled Liquor (no need to tell me that), Soda and Black Tea. Well, what do you know?. I didnít see that one coming.
O: Wow, thatís half the fridge cleaned out.
B: (Coming in from outside) I just canít take this anymore. Itís a catastrophe.
A: Like I said to AB, some of these are actually neutral for you but until we know our secretor status we might as well assume that an avoid is an avoid and be done with it. That way we can start off with a clean sheet. Also, we havenít even touched on the foods yet that may be beneficial or neutral for one but an avoid for another. Itís all about getting a bunch of foods that we can all eat, and base some sort of menu off. Sound good?
B: SunnovaÖ..I guess so.
A: Good, so letís take ourselves down to the local shops and see if we can get our beneficials to stack the fridge and cupboards with, and weíll throw out these avoids.
O: Throw them out, thatís a waste of money donít you think. We could at least eat them so they donít go to waste and then just not buy any more.
A: Yeh youíre right. So letís just get that Jack Daniels bottle down from the top shelf over there and make sure thereís none left by tomorrow hey?
AB: After what weíve just been through man, thatís not such a bad idea.
B: Iíll get the ice.
O: And Iíll get the nibblies. As they say, when in RomeÖ.

The Bloody family realised that making a change in oneís dietary habits (especially for a whole family) does not just happen overnight, so they sat down and planned their new shopping list, had an avoid fest, and basically got fershnickered. It was a long and merry day.
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, January 20, 2005, 11:39am; Reply: 70
Whoa azzap. †Right on the money. † ;D ††Yep, yep, yep that's it. †We gotta keep on pluggin' and yes easier said than done, but hey, look at Chanur and her son. †You gotta love it. †:)

Debra †
Posted by: Brighid45, Thursday, January 20, 2005, 6:04pm; Reply: 71
I've been following the whole story since the beginning and loved every word! Nice work, azzap!

I also have been sending the new sections to my ex-roomie, the AB. Her comment?

"This is da bomb . . . man."

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, January 20, 2005, 6:21pm; Reply: 72
Brighid 45

;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D   ;D  ;D   ;D   ;D    ;D   ;D   ;D   man  ;D  

I'd read your story about your name; do you use tarot-cards- too?
There are so lovely-ones from Haindl and Rachel Pollack, there your name is mentioned
with a very fine-designed visage.

hugies and thanks

8)- regards Isa
Posted by: azzap, Friday, January 21, 2005, 1:48pm; Reply: 73
Isa, I have not seen the crads you speak of. I'll look them up.

After a slow start to the morning and everyone swearing off alcohol forever (again), the Bloody family made there way into town in the family jalopy. As they were approaching the local markets, A noticed a rumbling coming from her digestive tract.

A: Brrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttt. Ooh, excuse me!.
O: Oh gee, couldnít you have waited till weíd stopped?
AB: Brrrrrrrtttttttttttttttt. Heaven forbid, was that me?
B: Man oh man, open a window, please.
A: Brrrrrrrrrttttttttttt. Oops ,me again.
O: Brrrrrrrrrttttttttttttt. Oh now youíve got me started.
B: For crying out loud Iím dying back here.
AB: Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttt.
O: Ten out of ten for that one.
B: Oh thatís it, stop the car, youíre overpowering my perfume.
The family drove in to the market carpark and pulled into a parking space near the entrance. Doors flew open and bodies rolled out on to the asphalt.
B: And not a moment too soon if you ask me. You lot should be ashamed of yourselves. I never realised eating so many avoids could have such a bad effect on your systems. Letís just stand here for a minute and allow everything to clear out.
A: And to think, weíve always been like that.
B: Speak for yourself bugle bum.
O: Alright, weíve had our bit of fun and now itís time we got serious. Have you got that list of foods B?
B: Yep, right here, letís go shopping. I say we head straight for the veggie section first and see what theyíve got.
AB: Right on man, but letís not get everything from the supermarket man, I want to see what some of these farmer gardeners have got. In fact, why donít we try them first and then compare it with what the supermarkets got?
O: You know AB, once in a while you actually come up with a good idea.
AB: It must be the universal connection man.
O: YehÖ.rightÖ.whateverÖ..letís go.
B: Hey whatís all that commotion going on over there near that pumpkin stand?
The family make their way through the market where they find a tall gentleman standing on a soapbox, waiving his hands in the air and addressing the crowd.
Jim: Thatís it, step right up folks and be the first to witness the amazing, the spectacular, the wonderous effects of the combination of mother nature and modern technology with the new Jim Garland organic Pumpkin In A Can folks. Thatís right, no longer do you have to wade through a mass of rotting pumpkins trying to find the one you want to take home for that delicious home made pumpkin soup. Just reach up to the shelf and grab yourself a little can of happiness with the Jim Garland Pumpkin In A Can (proudly bought to you by the manufacturers of Pumkinking Enterprises from Walla Walla Washington). Each pumpkin is hand reared in a totally organic environment on a Minneapolis farm by a team of beautiful vestal virgins. And to prove to you that itís all true please give a hand for my two lovely assistants, Erica and Jennifer. In her spare time Erica moonlights as a pharmacist:
Erica: Remember to always read the labels folks.
,while Jennifer is (among other things) a Yoga teacher and an all-time Timberwolves fan.
Jennifer: Go Wolves Go.
Crowd: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh.
Jim: These two lovely ladies will help you out with any questions you may have and will be only too happy to let you sample the amazing taste of Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can, but first I need to make a public announcement. We here at Pumpkinking Enterprises have your health as our top priority and it would be totally remiss of us (holds hat against chest) if we didnít let you know that not everyone will benefit from Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can.
Crowd: Gaaassspppp.
Jim: Thatís right folks because you see, the human being is a wondrous and individual creature and not all of us have the same blood type. And this blood type factor can determine which foods work for us and which donít. Are there any A blood types in the crowd?
A: Pick me, pick me.
Jim: Well maíam, I can happily say that Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can is a totally beneficial food for you. Are there any Oís.
O: (puts up hand)
Jim: You sir are also one of the lucky types that will get a beneficial kick from Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can. What about ABís.
AB: Is he talking to me man?
Jim: Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can is only a neutral for you sir but donít let stop you from savouring the sweet, sweet taste of virgin harvested, organic grown pumpkin goodness every day. And now what blood type are you there maíam, yes you, the one there with the leopard skin hat, orange scarf, see through chiffon jacket over a plain green t-shirt, plaid mini skirt and gym shoes with pink socks, and of course, letís not forget (just let me put my sunglasses on here) the bright red hair.
B: Iím a type B.
Jim: Of course, I should have seen that one coming a mile away. Well for you maíam, Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can is an avoid, unless of course you happen to be a non-secretor and then it becomes a neutral just like our friend AB over here, but donít despair all you Bís out there because if you canít have Jim Garlandís Pumpkin In A Can, then just lean across the aisle and pick up Jim Garlandís Sweet Potato In A Can. Yes folks youíll be delighted with the sweet wholesome goodness of home grown organic sweet potato picked by the very same vestal virgins you see before you (Erica and Jennifer curtsey)ÖÖ.
O: Címon, letís get out of here or else weíll never get the shopping done.
A: Iím with you brother.
B: That sweet potato sounded good though.
AB: What was the name of that stuff again man?
A,B, and O look at AB with total disbelief.
O: You never cease to amaze me.
AB: Oh thanks man.
A: BrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttÖme again!
O: B, hand me that list, A, I want you 15 feet behind us, and AB, you just do whatever it is you do.
AB: Right on man.

After an arduous and sometimes smelly couple of hours the Bloody family finally had all the beneficial foods on their list. The task now, among other things, was to find recipes that would accommodate the beneficials as a base, and to which they could add their own beneficials and neutrals. The real work was just beginning.

Posted by: Debra+, Friday, January 21, 2005, 4:22pm; Reply: 74
Hoooow sweeeet.   ;D

Posted by: Brighid45, Friday, January 21, 2005, 5:12pm; Reply: 75
Pumpkin in a can . . . who woulda thought it could be so good for ya? :)
Posted by: azzap, Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 12:31pm; Reply: 76
As the Bloody family jalopy made itís way back to the Bloody household, the discussion raged from conventional social behaviour to potential recipe ideas for the future.

B: I am absolutely disgusted to be associated with this family.
A: We didnít exactly ask to be lumbered with you either.
B: Thatís not what I mean smart guy. If it hadnít been for the fact that the supermarket was air-conditioned, we all would have been run out of town.
O: Yeh, Iím with B on this one. You guys stink. Iíve smelled dead rats that were more aromatic than you two.
AB: You can shout man, I could hear you letting go from the other side of the meat section.
O: Well, yes, there was that one. Had kind of a good note to it too donít you think?.
B: You see what I mean. Disgusting, the lot of you.
A: Oh, donít have a kiniption B, Iíll give it 2 hours at the most before that double chocolate cappuccino fudge icecream you had starts to make itself known to your body. And we all know what that means donít we gang? Remember that time B ate that whole tub of choc-choc-triplechoc-hazelnut-choc icecream and we werenít anywhere near a toilet.
AB: Yeh man, and they thought Krakatoa sent vibrations all around the world. That volcano had nothing on the B myster thatís for sure.
O,A, and AB, look at B and then fall about laughing.
B: Hey, whoís driving the car?
O: Oh yeh, forgot about that. Hehe. So, what shall we make for dinner tonight now that weíve got all these beneficial goodies of ours?
A: My thoughts go for a nice piece of grilled salmon, done on the barbecue, with some steamed broccoli, beet greens, a parsnip or two, with some cherries for dessert and a nice cup of green tea.
O: Iím with you on the salmon, but beet greens taste like crab grass and I wouldnít eat a parsnip if I was on my way to the chamber. Substitute that for some kale and donít forget the parsley. A few figs for dessert and if I have to, Iíll join you in a green tea.
AB: Nah nah nah man, salmonís too oily for me man, give me the snapper any day, some broccoli, collard greens and a nice piece of roasted garlic. Iíll skip dessert and just have a glass of water for afters.
B: Hmmmm, it would appear to me that our little plan of beneficial eating is somewhat limited by our inability to agree on a common base of sustenance, thereby leaving us with a dilemma of gastronomical proportions.
AB: What?
B: We canít agree on what to eat.
AB: Well why didnít you just say so man. I would have thought that was pretty obvious.
A: OK OK, itís not a total loss, we all agree that we can use the beneficials weíve got, itís just that we donít all like the same beneficials. No big deal. Weíre all individuals. Weíll just cook what each of us likes to eat.
O: Wow A, I donít think Iíve ever seen you handle anything so calmly. You even came up with a reasonable solution without having to resort to distillation.
A: You know, youíre right for once O, I do feel a lot calmer than usual. Maybe this BTD cortisol lowering caper is for real after all.
B: Well, whatever the case, I think we need to revisit the book and expand our list of beneficials to include the ones that apply to each of our blood types and not limit ourselves to the ones that are only good for all of us.
AB: Right on man. Tree.
B: What?
AB: Tree man
O: What the hell is space cadet talking about?
AB: For your information my somewhat less than conventional appearance and mannerisms do not belie the fact that a modicum of intelligence has been bestowed upon me by the creator and developed further by myself such that I am more aware than everyone else in this vehicle that we ARE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO A TREEEEEEE.
All: Aaaaaaaaaaararararararrrrrrrrrgggggghghhhhhhhhhh.
A: For crying out loud O, watch where youíre driving. You almost got us killed you lunatic.
O: Well, so much for the cool and calm A from a couple of minutes ago. Howís those cortisol levels now toots?
A: I think Iíll lower them by bashing you with a shovel when we get home.
B: If we get home. And if we do, Iíll help you.
AB: Whoís a space cadet now man?
B: Oooh, you better step on the gas O, I need to get home and fast.
AB: Just do as the lady says O, just do as the lady says.

Posted by: Chanur, Tuesday, January 25, 2005, 10:44pm; Reply: 77
Once again, AzzaP, THANK YOU!   :) :) :)
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, January 26, 2005, 2:52am; Reply: 78
azzap- a friend of mine is an "O" and would love this. †She eats her wheat just so that she can toot. †I've tried to tell her not to eat it, but she does not listen. †Last summer we were in her car, talking in my driveway, when she let one go.  :o :o :o :o :o :o Automatic doors and windows which she kept locking on me when I tried to escape. †Not funny, although she was laughing hysterically. †I will have to print this story out for her. †I sure hope it works as she does not realize what she is doing to her body. † :(

Looooovvvveee the stories. †Keep them coming.   :)

Posted by: azzap, Thursday, January 27, 2005, 12:21pm; Reply: 79
The morning sun beams into the Bloody household and bathes the home in a sleepy warmth. All is quiet in the house except for one individual who is in deep concentration on a new task.

A: Plink plunk plank plonk, plonk plink plank plunk.
O: (rising from bed) what is that god awful noise coming from the lounge room?
B: (also rising) Iím not sure but what ever it is it sure sounds bad.
A: Plank, plonk, plunk plink.
AB: (rubbing sleep from his eyes) Whatís all the commotion dudes?
O: I think A is strangling a cat.
AB Oh wow A, is that a guitar man?
A: No, itís a bass drum but if you use your imagination it can be anything you want it to be. Plink, plonk plunk plank.
O: Well it might as well be a bass drum the way youíre playing it. That sounds awful.
B: Hey, give the girl a break O, I donít see you playing any instruments.
O: Whoís got the time, besides, whatís driven you to start learning guitar now A?
A: Well, I was going through the book last night and was looking at the lifestyle strategies for my type, and at the top of the list it says to cultivate creativity and expression in your life. So this is how Iím doing it.
O: Yeh, well it also says to chew your food slowly to improve your digestion and I didnít see you doing that last night. I was considering renaming you ďvacuum cleanerĒ the way the food disappeared from your plate.
A: I canít help it, I just love steamed veggies.
O: You are a veggie, now take that infernal racket outside so we can eat breakfast in peace.
A: (walking outside) you just donít appreciate the finer arts you Neanderthal. Plank, plonk, plink, plunk.
AB: Far out man, everyone is so grouchy and unfriendly around here this morning man, why canít we all just accept each otherís desires man and embrace the beauty of the individual to express themselves to the world man.
O and B: Shutup
AB: Heavy. I think itís time I split this aggressive competitive scene man and chill out with some ohms man. In fact man, after breakfast, Iím going to meditate and then head over to the community hall and see whatís happening over there. Iíve got to spread my love to the world baby.
O: Be careful you donít spread it too far dude, you might catch something.
B: Sooooo, whatís for breakfast monkey man?
O: Weíve still got a couple of eggs left from ďthe big fridge cleanoutĒ so Iím going to make myself an omelette with some sautťed onions, a bit of chopped kale and maybe a spice or two to give it some zing.
B: Sounds good. Iíve got a hankering for another piece of fish. I need to get my protein intake up and I figure a good chunk of fish should do the trick. Donít know that Iíd like to have it every morning so Iíll work on ways to substitute something else, maybe some lamb. Iím finding that if I start to get tired, a little bit of protein does the job of picking me back up again.
O: Blimey, havenít you changed. In days of old youíd go straight for the can of coke. Are you sure some aliens didnít come along and replace the real B with you.
B: The only alien around here is you brother. There are times Iím sure you come from another planet.
A: (walking back into room), plank plunk plonk plink.
O: And having to listen to that, I wish I was on another planet. Man thatís awful.
A : Iíll have you know I did very well in music class at school and itís only a matter of time before I master this instrument. The teacher even said if it hadnít been for the extreme stage fright I would have got an A+.
O: The only A+ youíll ever get is your blood type, Iím outta here.
B: Donít listen to him A, I now youíll get the hang of it.
A: (excitedly) do you want to hear the song Iíve been working on?
B: Of course, go ahead.
A: Plink, plonk, plunk plank, plunk, plonk plank plink.
B: (trying to hide a grimace) beautiful, just beautiful.

Posted by: Lola, Friday, January 28, 2005, 2:07am; Reply: 80
you are amazing!!!  lol
Posted by: Alia Vo, Friday, January 28, 2005, 2:22am; Reply: 81

Thanks for another episode.

You are quite the storyteller!

Posted by: Wulf, Friday, January 28, 2005, 2:35am; Reply: 82
Quoted Text
AB: Heavy. I think itís time I split this aggressive competitive scene man and chill out with some ohms man. In fact man, after breakfast, Iím going to meditate and then head over to the community hall and see whatís happening over there. Iíve got to spread my love to the world baby.

Hey man, Is this AB type actually Neil from the Young Ones. ?

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Friday, January 28, 2005, 9:38am; Reply: 83
eh- guys and gals...... ;D

what's about- if this may be the real truth and that we are really able to act as alike
and thats is us, who are making the world's ongoings with our loves!!!!!!  ;D  ;D  ;D

Take care you all, Azzapchen was right in his fears- we will rule the world (perhaps only with our lovely  being?! ;D)

Dont' you think that all great gurujis may have been AB's?  ;D ;D
and it takes some days... palim-palim than I am a believer................

jaooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu the Beatles are back!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: azzap, Monday, January 31, 2005, 12:03pm; Reply: 84
The next day.

A: Plink plank plunk plonk plonk plank plink plunk
B: (foaming at the mouth) If you donít shut up playing that thing Iím going to wrap it around your skull.
A: So what happened to ďbeautiful, just beautifulĒ
B: That went out the window once I realised you couldnít play anything else but plink bloody plonk.
A: OK, OK, I get the hint. But all great artists started off like this. You just watch, one day man, one day.
B: Hopefully by then Iíll be deaf, thatís if my rising cortisol levels donít bring on a heart attack first. O was on the right track when he bailed out yesterday. I gotta get out of here.

As if in answer to Bís despair a driving beat could be faintly heard on the wind, slowly getting louder as it got closer. Soon the words started to make themselves heard.

ďBorn to be wiiiiiildÖ..Born to be wiiiiiiiildÖ..get your motor runningÖÖ.get out on the highwayÖÖĒ, Bís pulse started racing, and her toes started tapping.

The noise grew to a deafening roar, only just audible however over the crashing crescendo of a thumping motorcycle engine. An unknown figure rode up, dressed all in black and sporting a tattoo across her naked midriff that said ďBorn To HikeĒ. The bike came to a skidding stop.

Linda: Hiya troops, Iím Linda Wells, which one of you is B?
B: Pick me, pick me.
Linda: My good friend (and yours) Kristen sent me over to give you a true taste of freedom baby. Grab that helmet and hop on.
B: Where are we going?
Linda: Who cares, lifeís about being spontaneous isnít it?. Weíve got a bag full of peanut butter sandwiches, on essene bread of course, a trail mix of walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts and dried figs, a flask of green tea, and just so everyone doesnít think weíre a bunch of wimps, a few beers to boot (looks at reader, ďremember, if you drink and drive, youíre a bloody idiot)
B: Woohoo, letís hit the road.
Linda: Just a sec, I see that A over there is holding a guitar. Do you like music A?
A: Yes, very much, Iím just learning to play.
Linda: Well, I do a bit of singing myself on the odd occasion, so if youíd like to get together we can have a ďjamĒ.
B: (whispering) you do not want to do that.
Linda: Huh?, hereís a few music books that I carry around with me just in case. Go your hardest.
A: Thanks Linda, Iíll start practising right away.
Linda: Why donít you give us a demo.
B: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
A: SureÖplink plonk plunk plank
Linda: YesÖÖ.wellÖÖthereís obviously a few adjustments needed but as they say, practice makes perfect. See ya later kid.

As A walks back into the house, Linda and B roar off into the distance with the sounds of Steppenwolf blaring on the wind. Just then O and AB come up the driveway.

AB: Cool music man, who was that?
A: That was Linda Wells, the coolest woman I know. She says she wants to jam with me.
O: Then she must be the nuttiest woman I know. Or tone deaf, or both.
A: I refuse to get stressed about your remarks. Iím going inside to meditate.
AB: Hey, wait up sis, Iíll join you.
O: (muttering to himself) damned tree hugging hippies, Howís a bloke supposed to get anything done around here when heís constantly stepping over a bunch of cross legged, ohm chanting, insence sniffing mung beans. Gotta admit though, some of that insence smells nice. But I digress, damned tree hugging hippies. Whereís a good punching bag when you need one?. Oh well, this might give me the chance to do some of that planning Iíve been meaning to do for so long now. What was it I read somewhere? Oh yeh, ďplan your work, and then work your planĒ. Sounds good to me.

With the house aromatically quiet, O sat down in the lounge room and set about developing his goals and tasks for the year ahead. It was a task that proved to be more challenging than he first thought.
Posted by: Debra+, Tuesday, February 1, 2005, 2:37am; Reply: 85
Speaking of lists, where is mine?  ;) :)

Posted by: azzap, Thursday, February 3, 2005, 1:17pm; Reply: 86
O: Righto you lot, itís time we had another Bloody family meeting.
A: Ten four that good buddy, Iíll get the essentials.
B: Ten four that?, so youíve turned into a trucker now have you?
A: Well, if you can be a biker, I can be a trucker.
B: Spare me.
AB: So whatís the meeting about man?
O: Well guys, last night I laboured over my goals for the coming year and do you know what I discovered?
AB: You discovered that the meaning of all life is to love everybody equally and to gravitate towards a state of oneness such that all humanity shares the burdens and responsibilities of all life and matter in the universe?
O: Errrr no, I discovered that I came up with diddly squat when it comes to setting goals. I have no goals!. Iím goal-less, I am a point of reference in the present without anything to aim for in the future.
AB: Itís better to live in the present man.
O: Shutup.
A: Well your first goal could be to stop telling AB to shutup.
O: Possibly, but my being goal-less made me realise that none of us has really ever set any goals in life, and so this meeting is about doing just that.
B: Speak for yourself oh great leader, I happen to enjoy not having a set routine.
O: Ah, but thatís just it see, you could set yourself a goal to actually BE more spontaneous, which I gotta admit is not the greatest example in your case, but you get what I mean donít you?. You could set a goal to practice more visualisation in your life.
B: Yeh, I get it, and A could set a goal to actually learn how to play the guitar instead of murdering it like she does now.
A (pokes tongue out)
O: No arguments from me there. But a more appropriate goal might be to establish a consistent daily schedule. And I donít mean consistently getting out of bed late.
A: Who sayís I get out of bed late?. So I lay around a bit before I actually get out but at least Iím awake.
AB: Thatís a subjective opinion.
A: Oh, wise guy eh, well if any one us should be setting goals itís you my dear AB. Let me see, new yearís resolution for 1999, practice more yoga. Remember that? I do believe the plastic wrap is still on those books you bought.
AB: Hey man, I need to make my lifestyle changes gradually man, rather than trying to tackle everything at once man.
A: Yeh, but 5 years. Thatís what I call gradual, veeeeeerry gradual.
AB: Canít rush these things you know!
O: OK, enough squabbling children. I propose we each spend the next week working on our goals for the coming year, and then weíll gather together again and see what weíve come up with. Agree?
A: Yep.
B: Nope.
AB: Maybe.
O: Right then, thatís settled. Now Iím off to the gym for a bit of an aerobic workout, who wants to join me?
B: Yep.
A: Nope.
AB: Maybe.
O: Well make up your mind soon, because Iím going in five minutes. Just gotta do a few pre-workout warm up exercises first. Iíll meet you in the car.
A: Man, that guy never stops. One day heís going to blow a valve Iím sure of it.
AB: Yeh man. He definitely needs to chill out more. Do you think we can convince him to meditate man?
A: Can you convince a tiger to become a vegetarian?
AB: Bummer.
Posted by: azzap, Sunday, February 6, 2005, 12:53pm; Reply: 87
O and B have come home from the gym and while both of them are relaxing in the loungeroom, AB notices that B has a new pair of shoes.

AB: Hey B, groovy looking shoes man. Did you just buy them?.
B: Yeh, check it out, theyíre the latest thing. Theyíre made from the latest synthetic fibres with a new cross radial V-Cut flaggelated sole that will grip to anything like a vice.
AB: Oh, well Iím sorry to hear that.
B: Huh?, what do you mean?
AB: Well youíve just stepped in some doo doo man.
B: Oh godammit. SunnovaÖ..
O: I thought something smelled strange.
B hops off outside to clean off shoes.
A: Whatís wrong with B?, did she hurt her foot?
AB: Nah, just wasnít watching where she was walking man and vice-gripped something she didnít want to.
A: Whatever. Iíve got some news. I was down at the park plunking away on the guitar when this really cute guy came up and started talking with me, and he showed me how to play a few chords, and heís got these dreamy eyes, and he plays the guitar himself, and he follows the BTD, and I think Iím in lurve, and heís got Alopecia, and Ö..
O: Whoa take a breath before you pass out.
AB: Alopeciaís a breed of dog isnít it?
A: And heís just outside so do you want to meet him?
O: Do we have a choice?
A: No (hurries outside), everyone, Iíd like you to meet Mike Staffieri.
Mike: Hi there.
O, B(back from scraping off doo doo) and AB: Hi Mike, pleased to meet you.
AB: Whatís alopecia?
Mike: Well, it may have come to your attention that I donít appear to have any body hair.
O: I thought you were just going for the wall street trader look, or the gangster rapper look.
Mike: Not exactly. Alopecia is an autoimmune disease (interesting that I should be an O type as we are more prone to autoimmune diseases) where body hair falls off. Itís not painful or anything and there doesnít seem to be a cure.
AB: So itís not a breed of dog then?
Mike: Err no, although if it was, it would be a very expensive breed because itís quite rare in comparison to some other conditions.
O: How do you get it?
Mike: Donít know, it just happens. Iím sure that one day theyíll find a logical explanation to it, but for now youíve just got to accept that it happens.
B: Does being on the BTD help at all?
Mike: Not with the condition itself, I donít think anyway. I have noticed some new hair growth but nothing to write home about. For my overall health itís a godsend as you are most probably finding out yourselves.
O: Geez, I wish A and B had alopecia with the amount of hair they leave lying around the place. Sometimes I donít want to even look inside the bathroom sink. Eeewww.
Mike: Yeh, well it does have a few positives to it thatís for sure. I save a bucket load on shampoo and conditioner. On the other hand, women keep asking me if they can use my head for a mirror while they fix their makeup.
A: Really?
Mike: No, I was just kidding.
O: Sense of humour eh?. I like that. Youíll fit in well around here. It seems our A has taken a bit of a shine to you, no pun intended.
Mike: None taken, although Iím afraid that there is only one woman in my life at the moment and thatís my little girl back home. And right now sheíll be missing her daddy so I better get going.
A: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Mike: Iím sorry A, but she really needs me at the moment.
A: (wiping away tears but with a look of admiration in her eyes) What a guy!
AB: Has alopecia ever been a breed of dog man?
Mike: Tell you what, if I ever find out, youíll be the first person I tell.
AB: Thanks man, I appreciate that.
O: Hey Mike, can you take him with youÖ.pleaseÖ.?
Mike: I think he needs you guys more than me at the moment.
B: Címon mike, Iíll walk you to your car. I think A needs some time to herself.
All: Seeya Mike.
Mike: Seeya guys.
AB: Donít worry A, Iíve got just the thing to take your mind of your troubles man. Come with me and Iíll give you a nice aromatherapy massage to soothe away the pain. I think a mixture of chamomile for letting go, geranium for re-balancing and a touch of mandarin for happiness should do the trick.
A: Thanks AB (goes into the back room)
B: (coming back inside) What a nice guy he was. Look at this. He gave me a CD with a song he wrote. Itís called the BTD blues.
O: Put it on, a bit of music right now is just what the doctor ordered.

I wake up in the morningÖdaÖda.da.daÖda
Get my blue shorts onÖdaÖda.da.daÖda
Plop by butt straight onÖdaÖda.da.daÖda
Ride my wheels till the songs all doneÖdaÖda.da.daÖda

YeahhhhhÖI got the BTD Bluezz (long high pitched guitar riff)
Posted by: azzap, Monday, February 14, 2005, 12:02pm; Reply: 88
A: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh
O: Wow, A sounds like sheís having a bit of hard time, whatís up?
AB: Well man, we sat down last night and centred our focus on the being within until the very escence of our souls aligned with the almighty cosmos and the cares and troubles of our material selves washed away from our spirits allowing us to reach oneness with the universe.
B: And?
AB: And then we proceeded to get as drunk as lords.
O: Why is it that I see a familiar theme replayed over and over again here?
AB: I dunno man, I guess itís always hard when you lose out in love, and therefore you fall back on what is comforting to you.
O: Lose out in love?, she knew the guy for less than half a day. Imagine if she actually had a long-term relationship. Sheíd be on a binge for a month.
B: Ooh, bad visual dude.
O: letís have some fun. Hey A, weíre having lambís brains for breakfast, want some?
A: Mmmmmph
O: Weíre also having some tripe to go with it.
A: Mmmmmmmmmmph.
B: Oh yeh, and donít forget the sheepís eyeballs for desert.
A: Raaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllppppphhhh.
AB: Man, you guys are just so cruelÖÖfunny, but cruel. Actually, Iím not exactly feeling so hot myself. Move over A, Iím coming through.
O: Well, Iíd say their day is just about ruined. What are you doing today?
B: Iím heading off to the community hall. There is a group there who are practicing visualization techniques and I thought it would be fun to join in. Why donít you come along too?
O: No, I donít think so. Whenever Iíve got too much time on my hands to think I always want to eat junk food. And I can just imagine me visualising a Mars bar or something like that instead of whatever the hell it is you would be visualising, which Iím sure would be a mountain or a completed crossword puzzle or something.
B: (punching O in the arm) So what are you going to do today then?
O: Well Iím figuring on starting the day with a healthy breakfast of fillet steak, pumpkin, broccoli and carrots, followed by an hour or so of working on my goals and plans for the year, then itís off to the gym for an hourís aerobic session with a nice protein shake chaser, and then on to lunch which will consist of a chicken salad splashed with olive oil, a post lunch afternoon snack of possibly another protein smoothie and then Iíve got to head to the store for some more supplies to make dinner with. What do you think of that for a dayís activities?
O: B?Ö.B?Ö.damn, must have gone to her visualisation class.
A: (coming out of toilet) Ooooooooohhhhhhhh, I am never drinking again.
O: At least not until next time huh?
A: Something like that. No, I mean it this time. Never again. How can something that gives you so much pleasure when you are doing it, cause you so much pain after you do it?
O: So you believe that getting yourself absolutely spastic and slurring your words is actually pleasure?. I knew there was something wrong with you.
A: No, you know what I mean, you get that nice warm fuzzy feeling going on and all of a sudden the world seems wonderful and nothing seems to bother you and then next thing, wham, youíre as crissed as a picket. Mmmmmmph, ooh go easy stomach!.
O: Ah yes, the good olí endorphin release followed by the carbohydrate based insulin spike, followed by the liver and kidney overload in combination with severe dehydration. I remember it well. I once got so drunk that I stripped naked and ran down the main street in the middle of the night.
A: I never heard about you doing that one. But big deal, lots of people have done that. Besides, it was dark and no one would have seen you anyway.
O: Not unless it was New Years Eve.
A: Oh. I see.
O: Exactly. Needless to say, we shall never talk of it again. Howís AB doing?
AB: (from toilet) Iím fiiinnnee.
O: You two really tied one on didnít you?
A: Letís just say that no one else will have any problems avoiding any alcohol in this house anymore. There isnít any.
O: Good, now, how about a nice plate of fried octopus tentacles?
A: Mmmmmmmmph.
Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, February 16, 2005, 1:01pm; Reply: 89
As the Bloody family rests after a hectic morning there comes a knock on the door.

O: Iíll get it.
O opens the door to see a man dressed in a long black coat and wearing a 1950ís style hat. Next to him is a tall, muscular, intimidating, yet not so bright looking thug. The rest of the Bloody family are intrigued and gather behind O.

Don: Allow me to introduce myself. Iím Don DíAdamo and I hears youse has been running a racket in my town.
O: A racket?
Don: Oh, so youse admit it do youse?
A: What type of racket?
Don: Donít play coy with me sweet checks or Iíll get Louie Loose Lips here to work youse over.
AB: Why do they call you Louie Loose Lips man?
Louie: Iba donítba knowma manba
AB: Right!
O: Look, weíre really not sure what youíre talking about.
Don: So youse donít know nuttin about blood type eh?
B: Sure we know about blood type. Weíve been following the diet for a while nowÖwell, some of us a bit more than others (looks at A and AB)
A: It was just a little bit of alcohol.
O: Sure looked like a lot coming back out. Anyway, like B said, we know about it.
Don: Then youse will know dat the DíAdamo family has a monopoly on the blood racket in dis country.
A: DíAdamo family?, do you mean to tell me that Dr Peter DíAdamo is a gangster.
Don: Hey doll face, we donít mention the name of dat no good black sheep oí the family.
B: But heís a dedicated doctor whoís changed the lives of millions across the world with ground breaking research and information and well as treated hundreds for serious illness.
Don: Like I said, heís a fink. Our father would be rolliní in his grave.
AB: Er, pardon me for interrupting man, but his father is still alive and in fact, is still somewhat involved in the blood type process, particularly as he was the one who did the original observational research.
Don: Den whoís funeral was dat we went to all dem years ago Louie?
Louie: Iba donítba knowma manba
Don: Ya donít know much do ya Louie?
A: Are you sure youíre a member of the DíAdamo family?
Don: Listen here baby blue eyes, Iíll have you know the DíAdamo family is the biggest, baddest syndicate in theÖ..
Just then a fit and healthy looking woman dressed in running gear and puffing just slightly jogs up behind the gangsters.
Suzanne: Hello Reginald, hello Leonard, fancy seeing you here. I was just on my daily run up to the hill in the park when I saw you and thought Iíd come over and say hi.
Don: Who da hell are you lady?
Suzanne: Now now Reginald, you wouldnít be using that word if we were in bible class now would you? (looks over at the Bloody family and rolls eyes). And Leonard, I havenít seen you there in ages, make sure I see you there this week.
Louie: Yes Mrs Graham.
Don: Shutup Louie ya meathead.
Suzanne: Oh and whatís this, playing a little game of dress ups are we?. These two just love to put on shows for the others at the church. Theyíre such pranksters.
O: I think theyíre trying to be gangsters more like it.
Suzanne: Oh how rude of me, Iím Suzanne Graham, Iíve been following the blood type diet for a few years now, and I mention that only because I know that your family does too.
B: How did you find that out?
Suzanne: Why, our mutual friend Reginald here. Reginald works down at the supermarket and has seen you a couple of times buying foods for your type.
AB: I thought Iíd seen you somewhere before man. I just couldnít put my finger on it.
B: Olí Reginald, aka ďThe DonĒ and Leonard, or should we say Louie Loose Lips have just been trying to extort us and intimidate us by acting as gangsters from the DíAdamo crime syndicate.
Suzanne: Well heavens above (grabs both of them by the ears) you just come with me right now you two and weíll see what your parents have to say about extortion and intimidation. Thank you kind folks, Iíll see you around.
Don: Hey, get your hands off me lady, ya punk
Louie: We didnít mean it Mrs Graham, honest.
Don: Shutup ya meathead.
O: What a couple of losers. Had me going there for a while though.
A: Yeh well you never were a real bright one.
B: A few sandwiches short of the picnic I think itís called.
AB: A couple of sheep short in the top paddock as they say.
O: (looking menacingly at the rest) Letís see who can run the fastest shall we.

Posted by: Brighid45, Wednesday, February 16, 2005, 8:20pm; Reply: 90
*laughing helplessly*

So the awful truth comes out at last . . . Dr. D is the black sheep of the family. That explains sooooo many things.


Excellent story Azzap! I'm loving every installment of the continuing saga :)
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, February 16, 2005, 10:26pm; Reply: 91
;D  :D   :K)

:o regards Isa

azzap- einfach grossartig!!! Super-great- congrats..... ;D
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, February 16, 2005, 10:53pm; Reply: 92
Just love it, love it, love it. † †:K) †:K) :K) †;D :D :)

Posted by: 547 (Guest), Friday, February 18, 2005, 11:03am; Reply: 93
Good grief Azzap!!  ;D
You are awesome... :o

Are you planning to publish that fantastic story (to be continued!!) for us readers??
Now I have to cut and paste it into a document..
very inspiring you are, the D'Adamo Syndicate!!!
You are a creative spirit... that is for sure..

I just love your bloody stories ABOve all....!!!

Take care and stay well ;)
Cocky  8)
Posted by: azzap, Friday, February 18, 2005, 1:32pm; Reply: 94
Aha, you thought this was another episode didn't you?. That's coming soon.

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the comments from these episodes(stories) because they actually give me ideas for future stories. And I love to see people laughing.

Cocky: I was going to say that I'll send the word file to people if they want it but I just realised I would need to collect everyone's email address to do that and I'm not sure I have enough hours in the day at the moment, so I'm afraid you might have to resort to the ol' cut and paste routine for now if you are creating your own file. Maybe we can do that in the future if the number of pages of this thread become too long. I could send the word file to everyone so that they've got the episodes, and then we could start a new thread (Bloody family 2) where the other one left off.

What do you'all think.

Have fun everyone. Aaron.  :D
Posted by: Dr. D, Friday, February 18, 2005, 1:42pm; Reply: 95

If you only knew where I grew up...
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Friday, February 18, 2005, 1:52pm; Reply: 96

Check the interview I had with that awesome member of the D'Adamo Syndicate Dr. D †(see my column BloodRelations!) and you will know where this Doc had his roots... †;D

That is great! The Bloody Family RELEASED... in book... :o

I will let you know my emailaddress, if needed.

Thanks for your awesome humor!! :K)

Posted by: Debra+, Monday, February 21, 2005, 12:16am; Reply: 97
Oh azzap that was mean-no continuing episode, but great idea with the word file. † I have, actually, been cutting and pasting as you have been telling the story just in case something happened to it. †Have sent it to a few friends that I hope will take the hint for the diet.   ;D

Keep them coming. †From one of your greatest reader fans.  ;) :)

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Monday, February 21, 2005, 8:15am; Reply: 98
now the story of azzap- himeself......................

but where is he???? what-'s he doing- from where does he came from????

this will be another story ;D :D hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

but he lives nearby the waters with a famous view on it?-no? yea......
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Monday, February 21, 2005, 1:29pm; Reply: 99
Yesss, Isa you are right on!! :o

Now, the story of the Bold Bloody Vazzampire himself?? ;D

What are his whereABOuts, how does he get his bloody meats?? ??)
What does he drink??? †Bloody red wine, or killing still water???

Okay, Azzap, what more bloody clues do you need???? †:K)

Incognito 8)time is over!!!

Cocky ;)
Posted by: yaman, Monday, February 21, 2005, 2:26pm; Reply: 100

I suspect he had another one of those ABOminable weekends :D

Posted by: 547 (Guest), Monday, February 21, 2005, 2:55pm; Reply: 101
Yes Yaman,

Azzap is soo desperately in need of his daily bloody 'bites' as a bloody O ;D,
AZ we ZAPped his juices...too much.....
I will send him the refreshing, energizing, wild, masculine Cool Water ‘ D'ADAMO as a token of our gratitude!! :K)

Cocky  8)

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Monday, February 21, 2005, 6:45pm; Reply: 102
hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (sau-like- Cocky ;D) bingggg-biiingg -biiiinnggoooooooooooo

< t h e   b i g  s i l e n c e>

at the end of a bloody day.........;D  or as yaman mentioned AB-O-minable weak-endts? e
;D hšššššššššš

8) regards Isa


ouuuaaa Cocky, I smell it... just came over me ;D
he'll smash  your face ..... oooouuuu no-no not your face...... ;D
Posted by: azzap, Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 11:25am; Reply: 103
After racing around the house chasing the others, O decided that a bit of extra exercise was in order and so headed off to the gym. Some time later.

O: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhh, Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh
B: Oh no, donít tell me that A is on the turps AGAIN!.
A: Hey, I resent that, besides, Iím standing right beside you so it canít be me. That sounds like O.
AB: Hey man, what happened?
O: I was down at the gym and some of the gang decided to have a weight lifting competition andÖ..
A: (butts in) Yeh, thatíd be right, I suppose olí Mr ďA TypeĒ personality himself just couldnít resist the challenge and lifted way more than he could handle right?
O: No, I was on my way to the bench and tripped over the dumbbells and landed on my back.
A: Datís gotta hoit.
AB: Donít you go stressing there big brother, just make your way to the massage table and let the magic fingers of little AB do their work.
O: I also think I pulled a groin muscle.
AB: I ainít touchiní that one with a forty foot pole.
O: Just kidding man, letís do this thing.

As ABís expert hands worked the kinks out of Oís back, O was sent off into a blissful sleep, and was soon deep into dream land.

Superchick: (looking suspiciously like Cocky Van Hesteren) Well Decrepit Man, another master criminal has been put behind bars and now we can rest for a while.
Decrepit man: (looking definitely like O) Oh thank god for that. If I have to run another mile I think Iíll have a heart attack.
Super Hero Radio: calling Decrepit Man, calling Decrepit Man, come in Decrepit Man.
Decrepit Man: Canít they just call me DM for short. It sounds so much better.
Superchick: Superchick here, whatís the scoop base?
Super Hero Radio: The evil mastermind Twinkle Toes Tornado has just escaped from the Pen and is making a quick run for the state line. We want you to cut him off before he gets there.
Superchick: Weíre on it base. Over and Out. Címon Decrepit Man, weíve got a job to do.
Decrepit Man: I think I just pulled a hammy.
Superchick: Youíre such a kidder Decrepit Man. Letís get moving now.
Decrepit Man: Actually I think itís a calf.
Superchick: (hands on hips) Decrepit Man!
Decrepit Man: Yeh yeh, Iím coming. Gimme a break, lousy super hero league canít even afford to buy me a car. A blokeís gotta have rocks in his head to do this. Ohh my aching back.

All of a sudden O was awake and gathered all around him were the rest of the family.

O: What the?
AB: You were having a heavy dream man.
O: Yes I was. I was a super hero protecting the world and (looks at A) you were there, (looks at B) and you were there (looks at Cocky Van Hesteren) how the hell did you get here? (looks at postman) andÖwho the hell are you?
Postman: Postman!Ögot a package for a mister AB.
AB: Oh cool, itís my new meditation CD
Postman: Sign here please. (walks out with everyone looking kind of strangely at him wondering how he got into the house, then looking at Cocky and wondering how she got here all the way from Europe)
AB: Oh thanks man, Iíve been waiting for this for ages.
B: So whatís it all about?
AB: Itís the latest CD from meditation guru Ravi Chanderpaularanatungashivaramiharikrishna and itís all about how to encapsulate the universal breath and give love to your body and the entire world.
A: Sounds interesting!
AB: Yeh, and itís got a bonus track by Def Leppard called Armageddon Is Here.
B: Err, right.
AB: Yeh, that does sound kind of strange doesnít it?.Must of needed it for the sales.
A: So Cocky, to what do we owe the pleasure of your company?
Cocky: I was just in town and thought Iíd invade Oís dream.
A: Iíve only just met you, but I like you already. A cup of tea perhaps?
Cocky: Letís!

And so the day was filled with the delicate and yet sometimes painful strains of meditation music and heavy metal while Cocky regaled the Bloody family with tales of following the BTD in Europe and running the Stacktheme Europe operations. Soon a sore and tired O was once again in a deep sleepÖ..Decrepit Man, calling Decrepit Man.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 12:38pm; Reply: 104
ha-ha-haaaaaaaa:" a bonus track by... called Armageddon is here "

hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii must show this to Rebbele Meir hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D

ouaa: hard attac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D :D :D :D

decrepit= alters-schwach -hu-hu-hu-aaaaa

azzap once more thanks super :K) :K)
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 5:09pm; Reply: 105
;D ;DHi Azzap, Superchick here!! ;D ;D

Did not know I had that effect on Australian blokes!!  ::) ::)

Just loved your story..... Typical A cop, busybusybusy.....

Never had the dream to become a cop though... Always wanted to be an airhostess, but I found out (when I was young..) that I was afraid of flying.... :'(
Got over that, happily..

Well I am now a 'flying' nutritionist... More fun!!!

Thanks Azzap... :K)

Cocky †8)

Posted by: azzap, Sunday, February 27, 2005, 11:07am; Reply: 106
AB: Hey guys, guys, check it out.
A: Whatís all the excitement for?
AB: The secretor test kits are here. Now we can find out what secretor status we are and further refine our diets if needed man.
B: Excellent. So how do we do this?
O: You just hock a loogie in to that tube there and send it away I guess.
A: Could you BE anymore descriptive?
O: Just cutting to the chase I guess.
A: Alright gang, letís get this happening and then weíll send our ďloogiesĒ off for analysis. I canít wait to get mine back.
B: Donít be so quick to wish for something A, it might come back with a result you donít want to see.
A: OK, touch wood, I never said what I just said I said. (shakes her head in confusion)
AB: That sounds like something I would say. By the way, just what is this secretor status malarky all about anyway. I still donít fully understand it.
O: Well, itís like this, everyone carries a blood type antigen on their blood cells, but most people (between 80 and 85 percent of the population) have blood type antigens that float around freely in their body secretions. These people are called secretors because they secrete their blood type antigens into their bodily fluids, such as saliva, mucus and sperm. If youíre a secretor you can learn your blood type from these other bodily fluids as well as from your blood. People who do not secrete their blood type antigens in other fluids besides blood are called non-secretors. Get it?
AB: Wow man, you sound like a regular educated medical type person. Pity I know you better than that.
B: Give it to the man AB.
AB: And so professor dude, just how is this a benefit or detriment to said member of the population?
O: Do you want me to smash your face in?
AB: Heavy man. Olí professor dude here, needs some more anger management sessions everyone.
O: To continue, because secretors have more places to put their blood type antigens, they have more blood type ďexpressionĒ in their bodies than non-secretors which can have a great influence on the characteristics of the immune system, and is associated with a wide variety of diseases and metabolic conditions.
A: Hey, It says exactly the same thing right here on pages 6 and 7 of the Live Right book.
O: Well duh, where do you think I got the information from.
A: Wow, youíve got a really good memory havenít you?
O: I like to think itís pretty good.
A: Well it canít be that good because if it was you would have actually remembered to put some pants on.
O looks down in terror and then realises that he has got pants on after all.
A: Ha ha got ya. Made you look you dirty chook.
O: And you are how old?. Expect it when youíre least expecting it.
B: You can make all the veiled threats against A that you likeÖ seriously, I mean itÖ..but tell me, just how is this secretor status going to effect us, food wise I mean.
O: Well, letís see, if you were to eat barracuda for example, and you were a secretor, this food would provoke an abnormal blood reaction. As a non-secretor, because there is no expression of the antigen in your digestive tract and other organs, the abnormal blood reaction doesnít occur, and so the food is now considered a neutral. Well, thatís how Iím reading the situation anyway.
B: So does that mean I can have ice cream if Iím one or the other?
AB: Nope, afraid not, looks like ice cream is out no matter what.
B: If you want me, Iíll be in my room.
AB: Wow man, she really takes the ďno ice creamĒ situation pretty hard eh?
A: Yeh, sheís such a wuss.
O: Well A, if youíre a non-secretor thereíll be no more sour cream on your nachos. In fact, thereíll be no nachos at all unless you make them from buckwheat or artichoke flour or something.
A: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AB: Youíre really taking that well I can see.
O: And no popcorn for that matter.
A: (sticks fingers in ears) la la la la la la la la, Iím not listening, la la la la la la.
AB: Yeh that B is such a wuss alright (nudges A in the arm)
O: I wonder if Iím a non-secretor.
AB: Why do you say that?
O: Well, as you know Iíve had a number of urinary tract infections in my time, which is fairly unusual, and being a non-secretor gives you a higher susceptibility to this type of infection, especially if youíre an O.
AB: Hmmmm, maybe youíre right man.
O: But then again, just because someone is susceptible to something, or even genetically predisposed to something, it doesnít mean that the person has to actually have that problem. I mean, after all, we are all individuals, and as individuals we are responsible for our own bodies and minds and how we look after them, which means we have the choice to alter the course of our lives and in doing so can potentially negate a genetic or susceptible outcome.
AB: That sounds like something I would say.
O: And funnily enough, that doesnít make me feel worried.
Posted by: Melissa_J, Sunday, February 27, 2005, 6:21pm; Reply: 107
Oooh, secretor tests.  The suspense builds...
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, March 3, 2005, 12:10pm; Reply: 108
The pale sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting ghostly reflections on the inside walls of the house. Dust particles swam through the air and the morning dew looked like sparkling diamonds. Peace was upon the house when suddenly:

Cheryl: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
O: (waking startled) what in the blue blazes was that?
B: (calling from her room) I donít know but itís coming this way.
As the family looked out their bedroom windows a woman dressed in cowboy hat and boots (and other clothes of course) was racing around the house, cracking a whip in what looked like a roundup.
Cheryl: Címon you olí lazy heads get yourselves out of bed now.
AB: Man, that ladyís really got some energy. Look, she just hog tied the dog.
Cheryl: (throwing hands in air) Tied.
A: Hmmm, 4 seconds, not bad. Iíll go let her in.
As A walks to the door the others get themselves together and gather in the living room. A walks back in with Cheryl.
A: Iíll put my hand up and ask the obvious question, who are you?
Cheryl: My nameís Cheryl Hendrix and Iím from the Acme courier company of Walla Walla Washington. Iím here to pick up your secretor test tubes.
B: Weíve already sent them away through the post. They are most probably at the post office now.
Cheryl: Hmmm, might have to get me down there and tie up that postman.
O: Somehow I think heíd like that.
Cheryl: Well, as my old grandpappy used to say, two hands on a toaster is better than one on the bread.
All the family look at each other in confusion.
Cheryl: Anyway, thatís not important right now, what is important is that the company gave a form that you have to fill out. Now where is it (shuffles through pockets), nope, thatís my lunch docket, hang on, here it is, nope thatís my ticket to the next TCU game, wait a minute, whatís thisÖ
(reads note) make sure the doctor sees Mr Johnsonís chart or heís going to die, hmmm, best be throwing that one away, hehe, that was for last week..ah here it is, just fill out the boxes here, here, here and here and thatíll keep the company clerks happy.
AB: But this is an order form for a marching competition man.
Cheryl: Well, as my great grandpappy used to say, If a jobís worth doing then you better leave your hat on.
O: Iím not sure I understand?
Cheryl: Thatís not important right now son, what is important is that we get those tubes back to the lab for analysis.
B: Like I said before, weíve already sent them via the post so thereís nothing to worry about, theyíre on their way.
Cheryl: Missy, we canít just trust these vital pieces of material to people who donít have the skills required for such a task. We have to do this personally. Can someone direct me to the post office?.
O: Well sure, just head into town and youíll see it in the main street. You canít miss it.
Cheryl: Well done son, and as my old great great grandpappy used to say, a piece of good information will keep you regular every day.
A: Do any of your relatives actually know what theyíre saying?
Cheryl: Surely do maam, but that ainít important right now, what is important is for me to catch that postman. Iíll be seeing ya.
As Cheryl left the house all the family walked to the windows to watch her racing around and cracking her whip.
B: Hey look, she just hog tied the cat.
A: Hmm, 3 seconds, thatís gotta be a record.
Cheryl: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa
O: Now why in the world would the company tell us to send the tubes away in the post and then send a courier anyway.
AB: Beats the chitlens out of me man but I know one thing for sure, all that hog tying has made me hungry for some viddles.
A: Since when did you start eating viddles?
AB: Well, as my old granpappy used to sayÖ.
All: Shutup.
AB: Heavy.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, March 3, 2005, 2:47pm; Reply: 109
;D  :D I just saw the picture comeing....  she just hog tied the cat ;D  ;D ;D ;D ;D

ooouuuaaaa Azzapchen- great story.................ty dear ty ;D ;D ;D

strangulation purrrr!!!! ;D you see- you got her by her legs hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ;D
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, March 10, 2005, 10:59am; Reply: 110
B: So, how long do you think it will take until we get our secretor tests back?
O: I guess it depends on a number of factors really. For example, the time it takes to get to the post (with the assistance of Cheryl of course), the time it takes to get to the lab, whether there are other jobs at the lab that need to be done before ours, the testing procedures themselves, and then having the whole lot sent back. Why do you askÖB?Ö.B?. Now where did she go this time?
A: Sheís gone to her room to finish off the 1000 word crossword puzzle that sheís been working on for the last 3 weeks. Itís huge I tells ya.
O: So, what are you going to do today?
A: First, Iím going down to the clinic to organise a regular screening program for heart disease and cancer, and then Iím going to spend a bit of time practicing my guitar.
O: Well, Iíll make sure Iím not here when that happens.
AB: (walking into room) Ditto for me big brother.
A: Bite me. Soon youíll be bowing to the queen of melody.
O: (throwing up hands in mock adoration) All hail your A ness.
AB: (rolls on the floor laughing hysterically)
B: (walking out of bedroom) So whatís so funny?
AB: A ness aaahhhahahahahahahahahaha
B: Whatís wrong with him? (circling finger around ear)
O: Location joke sweetheart, you had to be there.
B: Whatever, Iím starving, has anyone thought about lunch?
O: Come to think of it, no, and Iím hungry too. Hey queen A, got anything planned for lunch?
A: It just so happens I have and if you are not careful youíll be getting none of it.
AB: Ah come on man, canít you take a joke?
A: I do every time I look at you.
AB: Touche.
A: I got a hankering for a barbecue earlier on so Iíve got out a nice piece of rump steak for O, a piece of monkfish for B, and Iím going to set up the wok on one of the plates and make up a nice stir fry for me and AB with tofu as the base and a heap of veggies to boot.
AB: Cool man, Iíll never question your queen-ship again.
A: Thought you might like that.
O: You know what I might do?, I might roast my veggies on the hot plate. After all, itís just like putting them in the oven. Except for the greens that is, I might use the wok after you A and do up some brocolli and collard greens, and letís not forget some barbecued onion and garlic.
B: Hmmmm, all this barbecuing is making me a bit worried about the carcinogens and polyamines.
AB: The poly what now?
B: Polyamines. Polyamines are proteins that are present in low concentrations in all human, animal and plant cells. The bodyís organs require them for growth, renewal and metabolism. Too many of them however can cause the immune system to suffer by slowing it down, and not enough of them can cause the digestive system to suffer because it takes them from other vital areas of the body for itís own repair purposes.
O: So whatís that got to do with barbecuing?
B: Well, most probably not a lot really itís just that when living tissue is shocked, or dies, the bacteria and enzymes in the food convert many of the protein fragments into polyamines, and looking at the barbecue just made me think about what has happened to the food before we got it.
A: Well donít you worry about that sis because olí A has thought of everything (as usual). To help reduce that polyamine effect Iíve got some nice plums for O, some kiwi fruit for AB, some pawpaw for you and some cranberries for me. Weíll have that for dessert.
O: I thought it wasnít a good idea to have fruit after youíve eaten. It can cause fermentation.
A: And right you are old cro magnon brother of mine. Thatís why weíre going to wait at least an hour until we have it, maybe even two. By then youíll most probably looking for a little snack.
B: Well, youíve got it all worked out havenít you?. Such an organiser you are.
A: I can only be the A that I am.
AB: All hail youíre A ness, all hail youíre A ness.
B: aaaaahhhahahahahahahahahaha, I think I just landed on location.
A: Bite me.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, March 10, 2005, 1:38pm; Reply: 111
ooo-oooo fine to be back Azzapchen-I just was afraid in no more readings .....;D   :X ?!
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, March 10, 2005, 2:02pm; Reply: 112
Ah yes azzap, sooooo nice to see you on here once again. †Like Isa, I thought you were not coming back. †Great to see you on the bloody track again. † :D ;) :K) :) †


P. S. †Another page in the bloody story book. †:)
Posted by: azzap, Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 10:15am; Reply: 113
As the night began to descend on an otherwise sleepy afternoon in the Bloody household, the family slowly gathered in the lounge room to while away the night time hours.

B: Man, this place is a pig sty!. The carpets need vacuuming, the dishes need doing, thereís clothes spread from here to eternity and we all look like the bags of proverbial.
O: And your point is?
B: My point is that there is only one thing a person can do at a time like this.
A: Whatís that?
B: Go out for dinner.
AB: Right on sis. Iím tired of cooking at home all the time. Letís eat out.
All: Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh.
After some quick showers and some even quicker ironing (except for O, who doesnít believe in such things) the family were on the road in their family jalopy. Although, after the last trip to the supermarket and Oís close encounter with the trees, it was B that was driving.
AB: So B, where are we going?
B: I thought we might try that new restaurant that opened on the other side of town. I hear itís BTD compliant. Itís called Chez Chanur and itís very swank.
A: Then with O and AB along weíre going to get kicked out for sure.
O: Weíll be hard pressed even getting in with you around.
B: OK children, thatís enough.
AB: Yeh, chill out dudes, letís make this a good Bloody family night. Hey, thereís the restaurant now.
All: Oooohhhhh, aaaaahhhhhh.
B: Wow, this place looks too good for us.
O: Never, the Bloody family is welcome anywhere, and donít you forget it.
AB: Right on man.
The family park the car and go inside what is obviously a well organised establishment.
Waiter: Ello, and welcome to Chez Chanur, I am your waiter Alfonse, and I will show you to zee table.
O: Lead on my good man.
Waiter: Ere at Chez Chanur we ave the finest of blood type dining for zee discerning patron. And as a special treat we ave the famous Chanur herself in the kitchen tonight.
B: Really, thatís great. Whatís she like?
Waiter: Chanur is the petal on zee flower of love, zee wings on zee dove of peace, zeeÖÖ.(a crashing is heard from the kitchen and Chanur appears with her hands around the neck of the assistant cook, shaking her head violently and screaming..ĒI said no black pepper in the O mealsĒ)
Chanur: (realising the patrons are watching her) Ah, like I said my trusty assistant, a job well done, yes, thatís it, a job well done (pats assistant on head and motions for assistant to go back into the kitchen). Welcome to Chez Chanur everybody. As you can see we all get along here like a regular close family. A regular blood type family that is hehe, and thatís how weíd like you all to feel while dining at Chez Chanur.
AB: But weíre already the Bloody family man.
O: Shutup.
Chanur: Ah, I see we have some dedicated BTDerís over here. I hope everything has been to your satisfaction so far?
B: Yes, well, we havenít actually ordered yet but the entertainment has been spot on.
Chanur: Of course (not looking impressed) Iíll see that you get the best of service.
AB: Thanks man, when is the next act on?
Chanur: And we will especially look after you sir. (walks back into kitchen)
AB: Oh wow, thanks again man.
A: I told you we are going to get kicked out of this joint.
AB: No way man, she loves us, didnít you hear her.
A: Iím surrounded by turkeys.
Waiter: Ave you decided what you will order?
O: I have, but something bothers me. Why would a BTD restaurant have a french waiter, and, just to add a finer point, you donít exactly strike me as a frenchman some how.
Waiter: But of a did guvaway was it cuz eh?
O: Well, the fact that youíre six foot 4, 230 plus pounds, have arms like tree trunks and long plaited hair did kind of seem out of character so to speak. That and the fact that I just saw you doing the Haka (traditional new Zealand Maori dance) in the kitchen.
Waiter: Donít tell the boss eh cuz, or Iíll be eating fush and chups before you know it eh.
O: Donít worry mate, mumís the word. Look out here she comes.
Waiter: Wee monsieur, zat is an excellent choice, and may I recommend zee 1980 Merlot for zat as well.
Chanur: I see Alfonse is looking after you. Heís one of the best you know, all the way from the heart of Paris itself.
AB: Have you had your glasses checked lately?
O: Shutup.
Chanur: What did he say?
O: He said, he thinks heíll have the parsley checked pastry.
Chanur: Huh, I didnít think that was on the menu tonight.
O: Never mind, a nice AB compliant meal will do fine thanks.
Chanur: Alfonse, an AB meal for this gentleman please.
Waiter: No worries, I mean, wee monsieur.
AB: Gee, I hope we come here often man, this place is so cool, and so international donít you think man?
O: Spare me.

Bís choice of the BTD restaurant was a hit with the whole Bloody family and the night was spent sampling the delectable delights of Chez Chanurís totally compliant menu. As the family made their way home Chanur and her trusty assistant spent the rest of the night working on plans for franchising what was obviously turning out to be a great idea.

Posted by: 547 (Guest), Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 10:46am; Reply: 114

Great story again... ;D ;D
Zank you.. ;)

Your French is gorgeous!!!

Such a treat to have BTD compliant Restaurants!!! Wish it was reality already here in Europe.... :'(

already looking forward to the next episode of this neverending story.... :D

Cocky 8)
Posted by: 748 (Guest), Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:59pm; Reply: 115
I think we could all use a meditation cd w/. some 80's music on it :-D
And why do I feel that the AB character needs to be read w/ a voice similar to Keanu Reeves in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?" LOL!!!
Posted by: azzap, Sunday, March 20, 2005, 10:04am; Reply: 116
A: (walking into kitchen) Man oh man, what is that smell?
O: Iím testing a new recipe out thatís a touch heavy on the garlic.
A: Phew, donít expect me to be hanging around with you today.
O: That was the plan.
B: Ah O, your ability to create mirth is only eclipsed by your lack of tangible intelligence
O: Har de bloody har.
B: I rest my case. So just what is this odorous concoction youíre brewing up anyway.
O: Itís my latest invention. Iím using six cloves of garlic, chopped shallots, a quarter of a chili, some red curry paste, one carrot, 250grams of diced chicken and a half a packet of rice stick noodles. You add a bit of olive oil to a pan, throw in the shallots, paste, chili and garlic and stir it all around, meanwhile you cook up your noodles in a pot. Then you add the chicken to the pan until itís cooked through, then throw in the carrot, chopped of course, and sprinkle with a touch of brown sugar to caremalise it. Then you serve the whole lot on your drained noodles. Mmmm mmmm.
AB (walking in from bedroom) Oh man, that sounds noodleicious. Get it, noodle icious.
A: Youíre such an idiot.
AB: Whoa man, I feel an obstruction of comical freedom coming on. Iím going to split this garlic infested downer man before all your negativity invades by aura man.
B: Where are you going?
AB: Iím going down to meditate for a few hours beside the sea man. I want to breathe in the essence of the ocean into my being man and become one with the brine.
A: I donít know what that boyís on but it must be good thatís for sure.
B: Ah give him a break A, heís most probably the only one of us that really knows whatís going on in the world.
A: Err somehow I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. I gotta admit, I admire his meditative abilities. If I could last half as long as he does Iíd have this cortisol under control.
B: Yeah, me too. Tell you what, how about you and I head on down to the local park and join in with that Tai Chi group that they have there every morning and see if we canít master a few moves?. The good olí book says thatís good for lowering cortisol.
A: Capital idea B. We can get away from ďgarlic breathĒ here and soak up some fresh air to boot. How did you find out about this anyway?
B: I have a bunch of B type friends who go there all the time. Theyíre in a band. One wears leather and lace, the other wears furs and feather boas and the singer wears a cowboy outfit and carries a fake machine gun.
A: What do they call themselves?
B: The Look-alikes.
A: I see. How appropriate. Anyway, letís make like the pigeons and flock off.
B: Iíll get some water, you get the hats. Donít want to get sunburnt do we now?
A and B head out to the park leaving O alone in the kitchen with his creation. After a short while he is seated at the table savouring the tastes and smells of his latest recipe.
O: Oh yeah, this is good. Oooh, the lips are tingling. Man that chiliís got some bite to it. Pity anyway who comes within 500 yards of me tomorrow hehe.
After O had finished his meal he sat back on the couch and started reading the Live Right book in the section titled ďType O Dietary StrategiesĒ. This section dealt with controlling high stomach acid levels and how to prevent lectin damage. This is what it had to say.
Take de-glycyrrhizinated licorice to increase secretin. A hormone that inhibits stomach acid production.
Supplement with slippery elm bark to promote the health of the stomach, intestine and urinary tract membranes.
Use ginger rhizome as it contains anti inflammatory, anti ulcer and antioxodant compounds and promotes gastric motility.
Supplement with turmeric root. Itís good for what ails ya.
Use cayenne fruit to protect your digestive tract from toxins. Itís also an anti inflammatory, anti ulcer and antioxodant compound.
Drink carbonated mineral water to decrease gastrin and stomach acid production.
Avoid milk, beer, alcohol and white wine, which increase acid production. Red wine is OK in moderation and even better for non-secretors.
Avoid coffee and black tea as it increases gastrin production.
Avoid acid stimulating foods and drink vegetable juice in preference to fruit juice.
Avoid wheat, corn, kidney beans, navy beans, lentils, peanuts and potatoes as these all carry lectins damaging to type Oís.
Take N-acetylglucosamine(NAG), Fucus Vesiculosis(kelp), Laminaria(seaweed) and Larch Arabinogalactin as these help block the actions of dietary lectins due to them being polysaccharide sacrificial molecules.
O was deep in thought and did not notice that AB had returned from his meditation by the ocean until he spoke and subsequently scared the living daylights out of him.
AB: Hey man, look what I found at one of the local health food stores near the beach. Theyíre wheat free, cholesterol free, yeast free, egg free, lactose free, pesticide free, gluten free, taste free chocolate biscuits.
O: Next time donít creep up on me like that. I nearly clubbed you with a chair leg. Here, let me try one of those. Munch munch munch, hmmmm, tastes a bit papery.
AB: Ah, thatís the cardboard insert youíre chewing man.
O: Patooie. Gimme a real one then. Munch munch munch, patooie, thatís horrible, gimme the cardboard insert back.
AB: I guess I should have twigged when the sign said ďWeíll pay you to take these awayĒ.
O: Yeh, they didnít just see you coming, they sent you a telegram.
AB: Speaking of telegrams, I think thatís how Iíll communicate with you for the next couple of days man. Phew, talk about your garlic overdose.
O: (with a look of total satisfaction on his face) Ah my evil plan is working.
Posted by: debs, Sunday, March 20, 2005, 1:34pm; Reply: 117
;D ;D ;D
Posted by: Debra+, Monday, March 21, 2005, 1:08am; Reply: 118
Oh azzap-that meal sounds yummalicious.  :)

Posted by: Chanur, Monday, March 21, 2005, 8:01am; Reply: 119
Too funny! I really look forward to each installment (chapter? act?) of this saga. Please keep writing for us, Azzap! :)
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, March 24, 2005, 12:20pm; Reply: 120
AB: What a magnificent day man. I feel like getting out and trying something new today. Any one got any ideas?
A: I know, we can go on a road trip and travel to places weíve never been before. Itíll be such fun, Iíll get everything organised.
AB: Next.
O: How about I just smash your face in, then, when you look in the mirror youíll see something new.
AB: (makes apeman caricature face and struts around)
B: As much as I might actually like to see that, I have a better idea. Letís go horse riding.
AB: Alright sis, way to go man. Now THATíS what I call an idea. Címon everyone, letís do it.
O: (talking to A as they head out the door) I still think I should smash his face in. (A nods in agreement)

As they make there way up to the horse riding school the excitement, and trepidation begins to mount as none of them have ever ridden a horse before. Except for B of course who can break a horse in less than 2 minutes while completing a full page of word puzzles.

B: Well, here we are, ďThe Runaway StallionĒ horse riding school. I hope their horses match their name. I havenít been for a good ride for ages.
A: I hope my horse is called Creampuff or something like that. I must admit, Iím a bit dubious of this whole horse caper.
O: Ah donít be such a wuss. Itíll be great fun and besides, if your horse takes off on you, weíll come and get you. Eventually.
A: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
AB: Cool it dudes, here comes the horse riding type person.
Rachel: Hi guys, my names Rachel, or Equipro as they call me here, and welcome to ďThe Runaway StallionĒ, where weíve had only 5 deaths in 3 years.
ALL: (except B) gulp.
Rachel: Ha, only kidding, it was 2.
O: Hi Rachel, weíve never done this before so weíre going to need all the help we can get. What do you suggest first.
Rachel: Well, first, we get out our body brushes.
ALL: (looking rather confused).
Rachel: Thatís right, thereís nothing like a good all over body brush to get the olí blood circulating and the body fired up for a riding session. Of course, itís much easier under a shower but weíve got water restrictions here at the moment so youíll just have to ďdry brushĒ for now. And by the way, for you ladies, it does for cellulite what fibre does for the bowels. Getís it moving hehe.
AB: Oh wow man, I can really feel myself at one with this brush man. Itís like my body just said ďI love youĒ.
A: Shutup space cadet. I canít believe weíre actually doing this.
B: Hey, just be thankful she didnít take us to the stud paddock.
A: I hear you sister, I hear you.
O: (with an all over glow about him) Right then, weíre ready.
Rachel: Not quite, next, in order to ensure that you donít pull any muscles or tear any ligaments while out riding, we need to do a quick T-Tabb (name changed to ensure the author doesnít get sued for copyright infringement) routine. And a one and a twoÖ
O: Bloody hell, next thing you know weíll be sitting for a written test and a riding examination.
Rachel: I can assure you that wonít happen. At least not until next week when the new ďhorse riding proficiency licenceĒ is introduced. And a three and a fourÖ.
A: You know, Iím kind of liking this little routine. I feel ever so limber.
B: Me too, make sure we ask her where to get more info before we leave.
AB: And a five and a sixÖ.
O: You guys are nuts, Iím getting on a horse now.

O runs over and jumps on the first horse he sees. Unbeknownst to him the horse's name is Murdering Pete and as soon as he jumps on it takes off in a cloud of dust and high pitched human screams.

O: Aaaaiiiiiiiyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
A: Oh no, heís gonna die.
Rachel: Donít worry, heíll be back. Eventually.
A: Donít you just love instant karma.
AB: (lathered in sweat from a short but intense workout) did somebody mention instant karma. Thatís the name of that horse over there. See (points at stable nameplate). I want to ride that one.
B: And I want to ride Bucking Beauty.
Rachel: I beg your pardon.
B: I said Bucking Beauty.
Rachel: Oh right, of course, forgive me. Bucking Beauty, yes, a perfect horse for you.
A: You donít happen to have a Creampuff by any chance do you?.
Rachel: Lunch will come later, in the meantime, you can ride my favourite horse. His name is N-Acetyl-Glucosamine, or NAG for short.
A: Hardy har har.
Rachel: I thought you might appreciate that.

The sound of thundering hoof beats approaches, and then recedes as O goes flashing by.

O: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee

Rachel: Told you heíd come back. Where heís going now is anyoneís guess however.
B: This is so cool. I just love horse riding and Iím sure that in a past life I was a plainsman riding the ranges.
A: Iím sure that in a past life I was a ranger riding the plainsman. Haha.
AB: Whoa man, too much information.
Rachel: Well I never.
B: Well you should.
AB (fingers in ears) la la la la la la la la la.
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, March 24, 2005, 1:46pm; Reply: 121
Last time I rode a horse, which was almost over 30 years ago, it took off the same way and I lost my top among the trees. †Needless to say, my friends had a good laugh.  ;D ;D ;D
Thanks for the memory azzap. ;) :)

Debra †
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, March 24, 2005, 4:28pm; Reply: 122
;D  hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Azza... la la la la la li li li lu lu lu :D

Debra ;D oooo you poor thing... ;D

when do you write your own story-azzapchen? hš?
Posted by: san j, Saturday, March 26, 2005, 12:34am; Reply: 123
I confess I don't understand your take on the AB personality.
Are you modelling this character on someone you know? There've been AB's in my family, and none of them is reflected in this personality or lack thereof.
Do the AB's amongst your readers identify with it?
Just curious.
Posted by: azzap, Sunday, March 27, 2005, 10:11am; Reply: 124
As a new day dawns the Bloody family risesÖslowlyÖ.painfully and not without a fair share of moaning and groaning.

A: Oh my aching legs. I feel like Iíve just done 2 hours of squats with the heaviest weight in the world.
O: You can shout. My backside feels like itís been kicked from here to billy-oh.
AB: I just ache all over.
B: (walking, almost dancing into the kitchen). Isnít it a lovely morning?. Thereís nothing like a good horse ride to make one feel alive.
B suddenly finds herself covered with the refuse of the morningís breakfast thrown at her by the other family members.
B: (walking to the bathroom to clean up) I can see that some people in this household need to accept the limitations they have in regards to physical activity.
A: Iím so sore I think I pulled a tricep throwing that soy milk carton at B. How does she do it?.
O: I donít know, but maybe sheís right about the physical limitation thing. I think I need to add a ďbody movementĒ type of exercise, like martial arts or something into my regime so that my whole body gets a workout. I canít believe how such a simple thing as a horse ride has worked me over so much.
AB: I think today that we should all take it very easy. What say we head into town and just bum around for the day.
B: (coming back into the kitchen). Good idea AB. Iíll drive.
AB: Of course you will, youíre the only one who can man.
The family heads into town and finds themselves window shopping at the local mall.
O: Hey B, slow down, I can only walk so fast you know.
A: Somebody carry me.
AB: I think Iíll just roll along the floor. Itís so much easier. Hey, whatís with all those people gathered over near the newsagent?. Isnít that those guys from the show ďThe Thousand Dollar QuestionĒ?
O: Yeh, it is too. Itís so rigged though. They get suckers to pay $25 each to answer 3 questions in the hope of winning a thousand dollars and no one ever gets the third one right because itís so hard or so obscure. They must make a packet. Iíd stay away from it if I was you ABÖAB?
B: Heís heading for the stage O.
Presenter: And who would like to come up next. What about you there son, yes you, the hippy looking one with the kind of halo looking thing around your head.
O: Well, there goes twenty five bucks.
Presenter: And whatís your name son?
AB: AB man.
Presenter: OK AB, youíve paid your $25 for the chance to win One Thousand Dollars (crowd cheers), so hereís the first question. What is the meaning of the word ďThrumĒ.
AB: Oh thatís easy, it actually has two meanings, one is to strum and the other relates to a string of threads remaining attached to a loom once the web has been cut off.
A: Blimey, Iíve never heard of the word.
Presenter: Well blow me down, heís right folks. Well done son, and now for question two.
O: Watch this one blow him out of the water.
Presenter: In astronomical units, what is the average distance of Jupiter from the sun?
The crowd moans as they anticipate an incorrect answer.
AB: Jupiter is 5.20 astronomical units from the sun, where one astronomical unit equals 92,956,000 miles or 149,598,000 kilometres.
Presenter: Holy mother of god. I mean, well done son, thatís 2 out of 3 (whispers to assistant Ė ďwho picked these questions?Ē)
B: Am I really hearing all this?. Is that our AB up there?
Presenter: Well it seems we have a real candidate here folks, now for One Thousand Dollars, what role does the Rh factor have in Hemolytic Disease of a newborn baby?
A blank stare ensues from everyone in the crowd. A few seconds pass and the tension mounts. The presenter moves to speak but is cut off.
AB: Researchers have discovered that Rh-negative women, who were missing the Rh antigen, faced a special problem when their babies were Rh-positive and carried the Rh antigen on their blood cells. Unlike the major blood group system, where the antibodies to other blood types develop from birth, Rh-negative people do not make an antibody to the Rh antigen unless they are first sensitised. This sensitisation usually occurs when blood is exchanged between the mother and infant during birth. The motherís immune system does not have enough time to react to the first baby, and so that baby suffers no consequences. However, should a subsequent conception result in another Rh-positive baby, the mother, now sensitised, will produce antibodies to the babyís blood type, potentially causing birth defects and even infant death. Fortunately there is a vaccine that has been developed for this condition, which is given to Rh-negative women after the birth of their first child, and then after every subsequent birth.


The presenter swoons and then faints. The crowd goes wild and erupts in a cacophony of cheering and hollering. The assistant, stony faced, hands a thousand dollars to AB who casually walks off the stage waving and smiling at the crowd.

O: That was absolutely amazing. I just discovered a side of you that I had no idea existed.
A: You are the man AB, you are the man.
B: How did you know the answers to those questions?
AB: I thought they were quite easy actually. Basic high school stuff if you ask me. The third one comes straight from the blood type encyclopedia. Surely you all knew that one.
Blank stares.
The family continues to walk around the mall in reverent silence until after a while A begins to speak.
A: AB, I am so impressed I am lost for words. Needless to say I think I speak for all of us when I say that you were incredible up there. The depth of your knowledge and the eloquence with which you translated that knowledge was magical to behold. Never again shall I ridicule you or let anyone talk down to you, and if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask. My door is always open.
O: And as for that thousand bucks, it couldnít have come at a better time. Weíve got rego to pay, the power billís coming up, the roof needs a few new tiles, andÖ.hey, whereíd AB go?
B: Iím right here.
O: I said AB.
B: Oh sorry, that question is usually aimed at me. Force of habit I guess.
After a short while AB returns.
O: Where have you been man?. We were just saying how useful that thousand dollars will be.
AB: Oh, yes, well, I just donated it to the Save The Children fund man. I figured they need it more than we do.


A: (arms flailing while being held back by O and B) Iím gonna kill you good.

P.S. The author has no affiliation with the Save The Children fund or any other funds or establishments mentioned in these stories. If you want to send money, send it to the Save The Aaron fund, or maybe even to Jim Garland as he'd really like to go to the IFHI conference.  ;D
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Sunday, March 27, 2005, 11:25am; Reply: 125
;D ;D ;D send me your coordinates.... ;D :D


O'loody story ?- of ya own?                                  ;D
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, March 31, 2005, 12:02pm; Reply: 126
There was a time of great reflection in the Bloody household as each pondered the potential of the ďThousand Dollars That WasĒ (except AB of course, he couldnít have been happier). Everyone was deep in thought. So much so, that at first they didnít hear the knocking on the door. AB broke the silence.

AB: Err, thereís someone at the door, man.
O: OK, whoever gets up to answer it just make sure that itís not AB or he might ďgive the door awayĒ.
A: Youíve got to let it go man, just let it go.
O: (mumbling) damned tree hugging hippies, someone oughta chainsaw the lot of em.
B: Iíll get it. B opens the door.
Cheryl: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Howdy folks itís your friendly secretor test delivery gal returned with the results of your tests (hands package to B) and as my great great great great grandpappy used to sayÖ.
Slam. B slams door on Cheryl.
A: That wasnít nice B, in fact that was downright rude.
B: Did you really want to hear another one of her disjointed pearls of wisdom.
A: I stand corrected.
AB: Wow, the tests are back man. What am I, what am I?
O: Weíve been trying to work that out for years. I guess thereíll never be an answer.
AB: Is that the best you can come up with?.
O: Actually, yes. Iím still too depressed to be funny right now.
A: Get over it.
O: Whatever.
B: Ok maestro, drumroll please. (AB raps on the table with fingertips). AB, secretor, Me, secretor, A, non-secretorÖ
A: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
O: Get over it.
B: O, non-secretor.
O: What theÖ?
A and O together (overlapping each other), that canít be, how, the hell, thatís not fair, sunnova, oh goddammit, sucked in, shutup, oh manÖ
B: Come on you two. Take it easy. Itís not like the world has come to an end or anything.
O: You know, itís funny, even though I feel a bit ripped off, I actually thought I might have been a non-secretor.
AB: Howís that man.
O: Well, I really donít tolerate grains very well, and sugar makes me store fat big time..
AB: And youíve had those urinary tract infections.
O: Yes, and those, and I always seem to have more trouble with my teeth and gums than anyone else in the family, except A. Which is now very interesting in light of Aís result. What do you think about that A?
A: (A stands, with a thousand yard stare) I canít have casaba melon anymore, boo hoo.
B: But you can have mango now.
A: (suddenly happy again) woohoo (then sad again) but I canít have canteloupe anymore boo hoo.
B: But you can have tomatoes and tomato juice.
A: (happy again) woohoo (sad again) but I canít haveÖ
O: Oh give it a break will you. We could go on like this for days. Iíve never seen anybody change emotions so fast in my life.
AB: Looks like apricots are an avoid for you now O.
O: boo hoo.
B: Man, you guys are pathetic. Donít you see, this isnít a limitation, itís an expansion. Think of all the new things youíre going to be able to try, the new ways youíre going to be able to fine tune your intake. Youíll find better solutions to the problems youíve had no solutions to.
AB: Wow, you sound like me man.
B: OK, so I admit, non-secretors do tend to have more generalized inflammation than secretors. And they are more prone to type I and type II diabetes, as well as having more consistent problems with candida.
AB: Not to mention that they also account for 80% of all fibromyalgia sufferers and have an increased prevalence for ankylosing spondylitis, reactive arthritis, psoriatic arthropathy, Sjogrenís syndrome, multiple sclerosis and Graveís disease. But itís not all bad.
A: I think Iím going to kill them.
O: You hold them down, Iíll get the chair leg to beat them with.
AB: Whoa whoa whoa dudes, take it easy man, weíre just trying to enlighten the spirit here with the facts man. You know, ďThe truth shall set you freeĒ and all that man. The level of your consciousness is measured by how you react to a situation, not to what the situation is OK?
O: Yeh A, heís right you know. For once.
A: I know, and thatís whatís so frustrating.
O: I think Iíll have some avocado.
A: And while youíre at it, get me a banana will you.

Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, March 31, 2005, 4:20pm; Reply: 127
Yeeeaaaayyyy. †Look Isa-azzap's story is coming. †The O is a nonnie.   :)†
Posted by: azzap, Monday, April 4, 2005, 11:46am; Reply: 128
The Bloody household was busy with activity as they worked through the food lists and encyclopedias trying to adjust to the new food types for each blood group (well O and A were anyway). The other two were there for moral support.

O: You know, I was really hoping that bacon was going to become a beneficial, or at least neutral for me. I really miss my bacon sandwiches.
A: Well we donít. The last time you had bacon sandwiches I couldnít walk into the lounge room for 2 days.
O: Oh yeah. They did kind of make me gassy didnít they?
AB: That ainít the word for it man. More like ďtoxicĒ.
B: I think ďlethalĒ also comes to mind.
O: Wise guys.
A: Iím happy about the fact that I can have duck again. Thereís nothing like a good red curry duck. It just falls off the bone. Oh look (feigning mock horror) itís an avoid for Bís and ABís. Oh what a pity. Looks like that oneís for just you and me O.
O: Read em and weep suckers, read em and weep.
B: I have 2 words for you A. Sour Cream.
AB: Looks like itís no nachos for you A, hehe.
A: You can taunt me all you like with your savoury suggestions but I will not be deterred. I have found a new resolve since finding out my secretor status and I am embracing the nonnie lifestyle with a determination the likes of which will make you reel back in awe. Besides, there are so many things that were once avoids that are now neutral for me I feel like a kid in a candy shop.
O: Yeah, well I feel like slashing my wrists with a rusty butter knife, because I ainít gonna be allowed anywhere near that candy store. Sugar is a big no no for me. That bites.
A: Oooh look. Even beer is neutral. Yippee. Itís still an avoid for you though.
O: What a gyp!.
B: What are you complaining about O?. Unlike A who has a bar stool named after her down at the local, youíre a 2 pot screamer, so going without alcohol makes no difference to you anyway.
O: Yeah I know, but itís still a gyp. Hellllooooo, it says here that red wine is now a beneficial for me. The gods smile upon me at last.
AB: There see, itís not all bad is it?. Although red wine does give you a really bad hangover if I remember correctly. And if my memory serves me well, the last time you were on the red wine it cost us $100 to bail you outÖ..and Ö..
O: Alright alright. Stop spoiling my moment here.
A knock comes on the door and the family all get up to answer it.
O: weíve really got to get out more.
All: Amen to that. (they open the door)
Edna: Hi my nameís Edna, aka Car54 and Iím doing a story for our local rag, err, I mean distinguished local publication, on the effects of diet and mental stability and I was wondering if youíd be kind enough to answer a few questions.
AB: Sure man, but go easy on questions about sugar and alcohol man because O here just found out heís a non-secretor and heís a bit touchy on the subject at the moment.
Edna: Oh, so you follow the blood type diet do you?. So do I. Iíve found it to be one of the best things for equalising my emotions. How about you?
Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clack ( a skateboard rider goes by heading down the street. Ednaís body stiffens)
B: Whatís the matter Edna?. Skateboards get on your nerves or something?
Edna: Oh no, not at all. It just disturbed my train of thought, thatís all.
O: I understand that Oís can have imbalances in their Mono Amine Oxidase and Dopamine Beta Hydroxylase levels which the diet goes a long way to balancing out. Not enough MAO can exacerbate ďType A PersonalityĒ traits, and inhibiting DBH can lead to psychosis, and variations of both can lead to bi-polar disorder.
Edna: Thatís correct. I see youíre up on all the literature.
AB: I believe this problem is also prevalent in ABís as well and can manifest itself as a tendency to feel angry and alienated from others as well as potentially leading to extreme introversion.
Edna: Gee, I hardly even have to ask questions here, you guys are so well informed.
Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clack (another skateboard rider goes by. A twitch starts to develop in Ednaís eye)
B: Are you sure youíre ok Edna. You seem somewhatÖ.tense.
Edna: Iíll be fine. Just a little tired is all. (addresses A) And what do you feel is the most unbalancing thing for you and how does food help it?
A: Most definitely my cortisol levels. When they get out of whack I can really start over-reacting to stress (which is what puts them up in the first place) and then I have sleep problems, anxiety, daytime brain fog, muscle loss, fat gain, you name it. Itís an all round bummer. But a good compliant meal seems to bring it all back to normal and Iím as happy as larry again.
Edna: Do you ever use adaptogens in conjunction with your intake?
A: Oh yes, theyíre great. Mostly itís ginseng (usually Siberian), but sometimes I use boerhaavia.
Edna: Just one more question (addresses B), what do youÖ Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clack, Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clackÖÖ
B: Hmmm, something seems to have set her off. I wonder what it was.
AB: Dunno man but it sure looks to me like she forgot to take her adaptogens today. Maybe she missed out on lunch or something. Anyway, I think Iím gonna grab my skateboard and go and join the gang.
O: Errr, I donít think that would be such a good idea dude. Iím not sure if Iím seeing correctly but I think Edna just rammed that kids head into the drainpipe of her house. Thatís gotta hoit.
AB: Yeah, good advice. Tell you what, why donít we grab some food from the fridge and head on over to Ednaís house and see if sheís up for a barbecue. It looks to me like Edna might need the extra energy from some red meat. Did you see that?, wow, I didnít know a person could fly so high.
B: Good idea AB. Well, it looks like one kid is gonna get away. Nope, didnít make it. Now thatís what I call an atomic wedgie. I think we better take some green tea with us as well to calm the nerves.
A: Is that a victory dance sheís doing?
O: I'd say that's affirmative. Unless she just stood on some cactus's or something.
A: cactii, cactii.
O: Whatever.

The family walks back into the house and starts preparing some food for a barbecue while the booming tones of ďWe are the championsĒ emanates from the vicinity of Ednaís house. The battle has been won, and to the victor, the spoils.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Monday, April 4, 2005, 12:15pm; Reply: 129
;D hmmmmmmmm azza very familiar to meeeee, this could be my life-span-parter,too!

thanky you  :D


;D heavy :D
Posted by: Debra+, Monday, April 4, 2005, 1:28pm; Reply: 130
Yep. †The more I read †this story, Car54 posts (just love them) and get to know more of the other nonnie traits...must look into getting that secretor test done.  ;)   :K)   :)

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Tuesday, April 19, 2005, 10:20pm; Reply: 131
noooooooooooo morrrrre stories since???? Great so we didn't lost tooo much..hšššš??!
super thanks azza............... for waiting for...... :D :D
Posted by: Debra+, Wednesday, April 20, 2005, 12:23am; Reply: 132
Isa...didn't you take the Bloody Family with you to the conference?  ;D ;D ;) :)

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, April 20, 2005, 8:55am; Reply: 133
debra, yes we did.....
alltimes laughing about azza's stories because at the end, our coach Herman Ramirez
made us laugh..... :D (hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiii perhaps without knowlege about azza's stories :D)
but I hadn't had it incorporated as a written story, only in our minds.... ;D ;D

azza thanks for the "after-laughters" ;D :D

;D- Isa
Posted by: azzap, Wednesday, April 27, 2005, 12:11pm; Reply: 134
After what appeared to be a period of suspended animation (but was in fact a prolonged visit from the bloody relatives, which necessitated a veritable avoid fest) the life of the Bloody family slowly began returning to normal. As did the digestive systems, brain patterns and emotional states of all concerned. Although A took just a little while longer than the rest.

A: Oooooooooohhhhhh, ooooooooohhhhhhhh
B: Oh oh, looks like A overindulged again last night.
AB: I wouldnít call a bottle of Jack Daniels overindulgence. But I would if you also added the 6 beers, 2 tequilas, 4 rums, sambuka shooters and 3 or 4 bacon and egg sandwiches covered in tomato sauce and served with a complementary bowl of frijole dip and nachos.
O: And that was BEFORE we went out.
B: Címon guys donít exaggerate. She only had 4 beers.
A: Oooooohhhhh, Iím never letting our relatives back into this house again. Theyíre a bad influence, Ooooooooohhhh.
AB: Thatís right, itís all their fault isnít it A. We had no choice in the matter did we A. None what so ever.
A: Shutup.
O: Well, Aís not the only one feeling the effects here. If I see one more cup of coffee (hey, that sounds like a good name for a song) I think Iím going to heave. What is it with relatives and coffee shops. They always want to stop at them and ďjust have a quick cuppaĒ.
B: Not to mention a piece of cake or a biscuit.
O: OK, I wonít.
B: What?
O: Mention of piece of cake or a biscuit.
B: Smart guy!
AB: You gotta admit though, itís fun having them around.
O: Yeah, but itís hard to be compliant when you spend half your day in shopping centres and the other half of the day in restaurants. It really makes you realise just how much the average diet is bombarded with wheat and corn products, not to mention the usual junk food fare thatís out there.
AB: OK, I wonít
O: No prizes for second best doofus. Wouldnít you agree B?
AB: Hey, whereíd she go?
B: Iím in the loungeroom!.
O: Whatchadoin B?
B: Crossword.
O: Hmm, let me see now, 14 down, Indian condiment or relish, starts with C.
AB: (Walking in to room) Chutney!
O: Mmmmmmmm chutney.
A: Ooooooohhhh no. Chutney. Look out. (Runs into the bathroom and takes a quick tour around the house driving the porcelain bus)
B: Are you allowed to have chutney?
O: I donít know. What does the book have to say?
AB: Well, it doesnít say, but I guess if you used compliant ingredients it wouldnít really matter. It does say that pickle relish is an avoid for Aís because it invokes an abnormal blood reaction, and an avoid for ABís and Oís due to it being a gastric irritant, but olí B here can have it because itís a neutral. If she was a non-secretor it would be an avoid.
O: All this talk of food has made me hungry. Iíve got a hankerin for some flankerin. I think Iíll knock up a big juicy T-bone.
B: Oh yeah, count me in that one big bro. And what say we throw together a nice salad of romaine lettuce, some boiled eggs, some jicama beans, carrot, celery, and some snow peas.
O: Sounds good.
B: I might even have a slice of Edam cheese as well.
O: Count me out on that one. Cheese has become a dirty word in this neck of the woods.
AB: I think Iíll leave you two carnivores to your devices. I think I need a good walk to burn off some of these empty calories Iíve been consuming for the last two weeks. Who can say no to cheesecake, I ask you?
A: (coming out of the bathroom). Cheesecake, Oh no, look out (heads back into the bathroom for another tour)
AB: You know, Iím sure if you looked up the word hedonist in the dictionary there would be a picture of A next to it.
O: Yeah, thereíd be another one next to the word ďprojectile vomitĒ too.
AB: Thatís two words bonehead.
O: Whatever.
AB: The level of culture in here is falling more rapidly than the American dollar so on that note Iím out of here.
O: Yeah, for your information thereís more culture in here than in a tub of yoghurt so hit the road jack (hey, that sounds like a good title for a song)
B: (shaking head in disbelief) It already is.
O: Oh!.
Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Wednesday, April 27, 2005, 1:19pm; Reply: 135
;D :D ;D yes, we have all to take our responsabilities, even the "bloody"-ones... ;D
Posted by: 547 (Guest), Monday, May 9, 2005, 8:32am; Reply: 136
hey Azzap!!

Awesome story again..!!! ;D  It is a life-filling story the BTD story!!
Take care and your T-shirt is on its way  NOW....!!!!
Hope you like it.... Bought it with Isa during the Grand Canyon trip we did....

Hope to see you and many others on ....
Isa and I do talk on this internetphone... cheap...

take care and stay well Azzap!!!

Cocky 8)
Posted by: azzap, Thursday, May 12, 2005, 3:22am; Reply: 137

thanks heaps. You guys are the greatest.

The Bloody Family is currently on hold until I get a new computer (soon master soon). I'm hoping to be back on line by the end of next week. I would write them here while I'm at work but the powers that be seem to frown on that sort of thing. Don't know why.  ;D

See you all soon.

Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Thursday, May 12, 2005, 11:15am; Reply: 138
hold on dear ;D was this a break because of an accident???

Did you got this famous computer-kiss??? :D

waiting impatiencly..... and they wants morrrrr..... ;D

Aaron- dear king of scripts and *bloody stories* don't let us allone.......................;D
we are all in need of your phantastic gifts of "spreading a little of poisoning thoughts"

we want our mirror!!! we want our mirror!!! we want our mirror!!! we want our mirror!!!

                                         ;D :K)

                                          8) i.
Posted by: Debra+, Thursday, May 12, 2005, 12:49pm; Reply: 139
Yeeeeesssssss!!!!! †It is soooooooooooooooo grrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaat to hear from you aaron. †:D :D :D :D :D† :K) :K) :) With all of the things happening with your type O blood and cholesterol I thought you had given up. †Thank goodness you have not. :D †How are you anyhow? †It has been awhile since you posted. †I guess not having a computer doesn't help. † How is the cholestrol doing? :)

Glad to hear that you are going to be getting a new computer and the family will be back together. †WE MISSED YOU!!!!!! †Yes, dad I am yelling, but joyously. †;D ;D :)†

Phooey on those people at your work for not letting you broaden your horizons. †What do they know!?! †You could teach them a thing or two, although you probably already have tried. †I hope it has worked on some and one day all.  ;) :)

See you next week or hopefully sooner. :D :)


Posted by: ISA-MANUELA (Guest), Friday, May 13, 2005, 8:18pm; Reply: 140
Debra ;) nice to hear from you- ;D
Posted by: Peppermint Twist, Tuesday, May 17, 2005, 3:14pm; Reply: 141
Quoted from azzap

Edna: Just one more question (addresses B), what do youÖ Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clack, Clackety clack, clackety clack, clackety clack, clack, clack, clack, clackety clackÖÖ
B: Hmmm, something seems to have set her off. I wonder what it was.
AB: Dunno man but it sure looks to me like she forgot to take her adaptogens today. Maybe she missed out on lunch or something. Anyway, I think Iím gonna grab my skateboard and go and join the gang.
O: Errr, I donít think that would be such a good idea dude. Iím not sure if Iím seeing correctly but I think Edna just rammed that kids head into the drainpipe of her house. Thatís gotta hoit.
AB: Yeah, good advice. Tell you what, why donít we grab some food from the fridge and head on over to Ednaís house and see if sheís up for a barbecue. It looks to me like Edna might need the extra energy from some red meat. Did you see that?, wow, I didnít know a person could fly so high.


ROFLMBO!  omg, I should check in with the bloody family more often, huh?  Assap, you are hilar, my friend!  Once I get my reading glasses (I called today and they are waiting for me, so I'll probably get them manana), I will really have to spend some time catching up with "the family"!
Posted by: Wulf, Thursday, June 23, 2005, 1:25am; Reply: 142
For later escapades of the Bloody Family, please read Volume 2

Paul - Admin
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