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BTD Forums  /  The GenoType Diet  /  Need some encouragement
Posted by: aisling, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 9:36pm
Hi everyone.  I just need some encouragement.  I've been eating only about 50% compliant for the last couple weeks.  I have one friend losing her father-in-law as I type this, one lost her mother, and two friends facing major marital issues.  Hubby also got a major project handed to him at work (supposed to be someone else's responsibility) which means that now he'll be at work even longer hours than he already works for the next three months and now I have a cold to top it all off.  

I know I should maybe cut myself some slack but I feel like such a jerk for letting my eating habits slip back into my old ways.  Does anyone else ever struggle with this, or maybe you did when you were new to the diet?  I've been following it pretty closely for about 3 months.  Advice?  
Posted by: Joy, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 10:22pm; Reply: 1

There are health issues all around me also.  Even though I'm older than you are I have to sometimes keep learning the same thing "over and over" again.  With age comes wisdom?  Not necessarily.

I have no idea if what I'm going to say will be of any help to you or not.  If I heard this in my 30's I would have thought, "Oh, I understand.  Sure that'll work.  And next day I'd be back to the same way of processing as before.

Since you are still relatively new to the BTD lifestyle I would consider "suspending you're thoughts about compliancy " for the time being.  

I've read that the mind is the seat of emotions and it is very powerful.  It affects the body in many ways.  If you were 100% compliant would you be able to cope better?  Maybe but then again maybe not.  

Consider you and your family are started on the best path to overall health.   This is what I read and hope to understand myself.  The needs of the body are easily filled.  The mind has one need only and that is love.  A good example is one alot of women can refer to.  I used to do this myself.  Your clothes closet is full of clothing.  When choosing an outfit the thought that pops up in the mind is "I have nothing to wear."  That is untrue but the mind doesn't see it that way.  When I've had the same thought I know that it is untrue but ................  

So, what to do?  It is suggested that you remind yourself to "stop fueling the emotions that come from fear".    

I don't doubt that you want to be supportive but "just do the best you can".  You can't fault yourself for that now, can you?  

Posted by: ABJoe, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 10:48pm; Reply: 2
Quoted from aisling
I know I should maybe cut myself some slack but I feel like such a jerk for letting my eating habits slip back into my old ways.  Does anyone else ever struggle with this, or maybe you did when you were new to the diet?  I've been following it pretty closely for about 3 months.  Advice?  

Don't cry over spilled milk!  The best you can do for you or anyone around you is to eat the best you can at the time, and let the rest go.  I have learned that I need to take the time I need to eat properly or I won't be able to do very much.

You don't say where you are getting the avoid foods, so it is hard to help here except to provide general guidelines that I follow.
1.  I buy food I should be eating.  When I'm eating at home, there really isn't any excuse for eating bad, as all I have to do is make something - even if I don't eat perfectly per portion frequencies, it is better than eating avoids.

2.  If I am eating at someone's house or potluck, etc., I pick the best choices I can and move on.  If I eat a very small portion of an avoid in a meal full of neutral or beneficial foods, I will probably ache some due to it, but I don't let it affect my emotions, etc...  I usually carry some "trail mix" in my car, so if it is really bad, I can claim allergy and go grab some.

Hope this helps!
Posted by: Tom Martens, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 11:07pm; Reply: 3
Hi, it sounds like you are more attentive to others than you are to yourself.  If you gave that kind of focus on your own health, following the B diet would be a snap  ;)

Start back up and don't worry about it :)
Posted by: aisling, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 11:48pm; Reply: 4
Joy, you are right with me I think it is a big mental thing, in that, like ABJoe mentioned it takes a lot of thought for me right now to "eat right", and my mind and time are being consumed by my friends and family who need so much right now.  Tom is right, I do spend a lot of time being there for others, which I enjoy, but it is hard for me to disengage my empathy from those I love, I spend a lot of mental energy trying to figure out how I can help them.  I think that's probably what's happened the last few weeks.  In fact, I'm almost certain that's why I'm sick right now, I can physically feel the emotional residue in my body and it makes me ill, dealing with so many problems from so many people I love at one time.

Thank you so much for giving me a way to look at this differently.  I have very high standards for myself, a life long blessing/curse.  With myself I tend to be a very all or nothing kind of thinker, its either perfect or its completely messed up tends to be the way I look at things.  Thanks for the kindness.
Posted by: Goldie, Tuesday, September 11, 2012, 11:56pm; Reply: 5
The further away I am from the last slip = the closer I am to the next one..  ::)

I am also bad since about 3 weeks.. I am not bothering to beat me up..  8)

some day, somehow, we will get up again and feel like taking on the world.. and all it's issues .. :o

until then just come here and together we will encourage all of me and you to get on track again. ;D.

all the best..  
Posted by: aisling, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 12:55am; Reply: 6
Thanks Goldie, you are always so great!

ABJoe, I think I forgot to mention, but avoids are coming b/c of eating out.  A lot of traveling involved helping the friends and family in need right now, and I have a harder time being disciplined when we are traveling.
Posted by: deblynn3, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 1:16am; Reply: 7
Look ahead and keep moving forward, even if you have to start over every day, every hour, don't beat yourself up. Do the best you can.  

Like ABJoe says look for foods you can take with. My husband also takes a trailmix I make for him. I keep salmon pk. and plastic forks with me. (I need more protein) Not sure what would be best for a B

You sound like a very caring person.

Best to you.
Posted by: Averno, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 2:48pm; Reply: 8
Go into nature and re-aquaint yourself with what is...

Posted by: AKArtlover, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 2:52pm; Reply: 9
Beating yourself up is worse than eating the worst food for you. Check your thoughts and be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness. :K)
Posted by: ruthiegirl, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 3:00pm; Reply: 10
You can't be there for anybody else if your body and mind are falling apart. Nurturing yourself is an essential component of being able to nurture others.

Keep your house well stocked with beneficial and neutral foods. Make the best choices you can if you're eating away from home; as a B, avoiding chicken is probably the main thing to focus on. Try to get in some beneficial foods daily, take your supplements, try to get SOME physical activity daily, and don't worry about portion sizes or weight gain/loss right now.

Also try to find some "me time" whether it's 10 minutes in the bathtub or a short walk by yourself, taking the time to watch your favorite TV show or a professional massage- whatever works with your budget and that you personally find nurturing. I know lots of women like to go get their hair and/or nails done. I never found it relaxing, but others do. The point is to put "self nurturing" on your "to do list" and do what works for you.
Posted by: AKArtlover, Wednesday, September 12, 2012, 3:52pm; Reply: 11
Quoted from ruthiegirl
The point is to put "self nurturing" on your "to do list" and do what works for you.

Posted by: TheGameChanger, Thursday, September 13, 2012, 12:28am; Reply: 12
Quoted from Averno
Go into nature and re-aquaint yourself with what is...


Averno...if you were Mc Donald's, then at this point I'd "be lovin' it!"(woot) And then I would come back home, turn on a lot of candles, incense, and so forth and take a bubble bath instead of a shower, just to celebrate.

My response to you is: Its hard to do, honey! I mean - we know the plan is EASY, but when no one around us is cooperating, and we see the world as we know it exploding in front of gets difficult to do the legwork for the cooking, (as an example). Maybe its a flight -or-fight response. If you're trying to run away from a mess then you focus on the fear and the escape instead of taking care of yourself. If life is chasing you, you don't feel like swatting back at it with a pot or pan...! Maybe we can't identify our proper support groups, and then we whirl around in bad health as a result of the mess around us. Or perhaps avoids buildups are making us reach for old foods that really won't bolster our egos or feelings as stuff is going on.

This week has been hard for me too: I haven't shopped for myself properly, but that stems from emotional support deprivation, and an old, defunct idea of "I'll just wing it." Winging it doesn't work anymore, for me. There's some embarassment and guilt feelings to shed to get through this, even though I am not the cause of the situations going on around me. Embarassment and guilt. Both 2 deadly toxins for the soul that needs to move forward. Continue to define yourself. Even if it's every few hours, and not all in one thought or one chat to someone. Keep moving in increments. Just keep moving. That's why I'm at home sick today, and posting like mad on these and other support boards. I was long overdue for what was needed.
Posted by: Averno, Thursday, September 13, 2012, 11:40am; Reply: 13
From Jana Lee Frazier

I have been ill, and this summer my world has shrunk to a plot of dirt in a back yard that does not belong to me. The seeds my sister suggestively places in my hand are not mine, either; she buys them at yard sales and flea markets. One day, a perimeter of string appears along a patch of dried weeds. Even the dream is hers.

Everything is so simple when you've been sick. To be outside wearing the sun as a shawl when your heart has been so cold for so long is a gift. To think of the ground as a womb and no longer as a grave is a relief. Kneeling to pull weeds and sift the soil becomes each day an excuse to pray. Night crawlers glisten in my fingers fiery red and as valuable as rubies, eyeless and innocent of their importance to prepare the earth for the growing of plants. I watch robins pulling them from deep, secret places beyond the garden's edge, sensing the movements of the worms underground with their feet. I knead dirt for hours like a baker working dough.
Each seed, sorted out on paper with shaking fingers, scoured white and soaked overnight in tap water, goes into the soil as a promise to myself that I will be around to see it sprout. In the ensuing days in my rumpled clothes, I sometimes play scarecrow, scolding the starlings that threaten to forage in the black earth yet admiring their opulent iridescence just the same. I show them my blisters from hauling compost, asking for mercy. When it storms one day, I sprawl myself over my fragile new crop of pumpkin seedlings, shielding them from sparkling hailstones and laughing into the high winds.
I find myself thinking that a seed is nothing more than a dormant idea. But I feel more like a magician than an inventor as I behold the alchemy of water, soil and sun acting on every small kernel. Two paired, succulent leaves appear from each, gain courage from the ground they have rooted in, become a vine that begins to snake its way across the garden plot. What was once as barren as a moonscape has metamorphosed into a lush, juicy tangle of heart-shaped leaves and coral-colored flowers that shine like stained glass in the morning light. Each lasts a day, lifting itself to the sun, open-throated to the traffic of drunken bumblebees, humble houseflies and feathery white moths gone gold from the pollen. I can feel the thrumming of their busy lives in vibrations through the soles of my shoes.
Butterflies, thick as confetti, float there each day -- sometimes I wear them in my hair. I am amazed at the music a gentle rain can make on the wide leaves, and I feel tender toward the wrens that bathe in the water that pools in the hollow heart of each one. I have stood there in the garden with the new dog at nightfall, her pale fur sequined with fireflies, watching bats swoop and listening to the scurryings of mice while the blue moonlight licks at the round white fruit that might someday sit lit in a window on Halloween. And I feel hope for the future in a way I have not for a long, long time.
I crouch among the pumpkins with coffee at sunrise. To my surprise, a hummingbird appears at the spider's web strung along the fence, to pick jeweled insects from the gossamer netting. And I am acutely aware of a sense of self-celebration in the uproar of wings against flower petals and the breeze moving under and around leaves and the pulse of fuel beating along the vines, and I know it's just nature enjoying itself but I cannot help, nonetheless, somehow, to feel with a great sense of gratitude, that the party is, at least partly, for me.
Posted by: purlgirl, Thursday, September 13, 2012, 9:14pm; Reply: 14
Averno -  Thank you - that was lovely.  I too find the garden very healing. It's a wonder to me that others can't see the miracles all around us.
Posted by: purlgirl, Thursday, September 13, 2012, 9:20pm; Reply: 15
aisling - do the best you can and take time to feel good about yourself.

When I get overwhelmed and start to drift the thing that helps me the most is to just start writing down everything I eat.  
Before long I'm making better choices again and I feel better physically and emotionally  :)
Posted by: aisling, Thursday, September 13, 2012, 10:37pm; Reply: 16
Thank you so much everyone for your kindess and wonderful suggestions.  You never let me down!
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