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Peppermint Twist
Monday, March 21, 2005, 3:46pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 11,075
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Age: 53
Note:  Guys, I am designing/planting/landscaping/creating a memory garden in my backyard in Sarah's honor.  Her 41st birthday would have been on 3/27/2005, which turns out to be Easter Sunday this year.  I'm not Christian, but I couldn't help but be struck by the symbolism of that and feeling like maybe on that day that would have been her birthday, she will somehow shed her earthly bonds and ascend to heaven.  In any event, that is the day I've decided to dedicate the garden, and I'm working so hard to get as much done on it as possible by that date.  Considering I just started on it Friday, and I have no clue what I'm doing (as I've never worked with perennials before (http://www.lowes.com/lkn?actio.....vFiles/rightNavHowTo), only trees and shrubs--which are perennials, but you know what I mean--and I just have no clue what I'm doing but I'm doing it *lol*), that goal may be too ambitious, but I'm trying for it; if it isn't finished by that date, I am dedicating it anyway.  I was originally envisioning a rock garden, in which all the plants and elements would be intended to create a very peaceful, reflective, soothing place.  In talking with others from the BTD community, I got some great ideas and now the rock/reflective garden has evolved to include elements of what is called an "English Cottage Garden", or at least, elements of how I am coming to understand what that concept is, which could be all wrong, but who cares if it turns out to be a beautiful, restorative place?  Anyway, when it is finished, I am going to take photos, scan them, save them, host them on Imageshack.com (cool site!) and post them here so that you guys can see it (no pressure now that I said that for it to turn out well!).

I worked all, and I mean ALL weekend on this and I'm very thrilled with how it is coming along and turning out so far, although I had hoped to get everything planted yesterday, but not even close.  There was a lot of designing involved in this project--way more than in any other landscaping project I've done at my house so far, and there was a lot of shopping at different places for different things, etc., which took away from actual time digging in the dirt.  However, I think all the planning and taking the time to really consider the overall concept was worth it.  I just hope all these GORGEOUS flowering perennials that are sitting there, mostly not planted yet, will live long enough for me to capture their beauty on film, as again, I've never worked with perennials before and I'm scared they are all gonna die on me.  I tried very hard to select perennials and not annuals, but it can be confusing, to say the least!  I have got some extremely beautiful plants for this.  I've also got some beautiful rocks from this intense building supply place that one really has to WANT ROCKS to brave going to, but that's another story.  I even braved second-hand smoke for this--so wherever Sarah is, I know that she really knows how much I love her *lol*!!!!  I don't put up with second-hand smoke, it is UNHEARD OF...but for Sarah's rocks, it had to be done.

Anyway, I now have all these cool rocks and plants, and everything is placed where I want it, and I made two little stone benches, and bought two chairs for the bad-back set to be able to enjoy it, too (namely me).  A co-worker is making me a little wooden dedication sign to hang, and I am going to buy one of those "gazing balls", which are--the good ones, anyway, and I can't find one, only tacky ones--glass balls that have beautiful subtle color to them, placed on a stand.  Nothing (with the exception of the two chairs) is allowed in this garden unless it looks and ideally IS very natural, such as terra cotta puts, stone benches, etc.  Some of the around 75 plants I bought (I broke out the credit card for the first time this millenium!) are:

Butterfly Bush (Verna, from the old board's, idea), around four or five varieties, all will have purple or blue flowers
Honeysuckle (another idea from fellow BTDer buds of Sarah), two varieties, one with orange flowers and one that will have the traditional yellow, I think
This GORGEOUS plant with intense dark red leaves, called "Blood Leaf"
Snow Bush
Red (looks decidedly purple to me) Fountain Grass
Mondo Grass (green)
Peppermint
Spearmint
Basil
Parsley
Allyson Heather (also apparently called Mexican Heather), has tiny magenta blossoms
Darlsburg Daisies (yellow beauties, the guy at the nursery says they come back year after year even though they are labeled "annual"--see how confusing this is?)
Some other kinds of yellow daisies and these gorgeous flame-orange flowers that I think are yet another variety of daisies
Plumbago
Sweet vibernum
Gardenia
Something that starts with an "L" and that I forget the name of, said on the label that it is good for rock gardens and likes semi-shade:  into the cart with you!
Two very beautiful varietes of miniature roses - my British neighbor walked by as I was COVERED head-to-toe in soil and toiling away, and said "Your garden looks beautiful!"  I told her I was going for an English Cottage Garden and she said "Roses, you need plenty of roses."  So, of course I had to go BACK to Lowe's to get tons more soil (d**n oak roots, I can't dig in one section--I have to build everything UP!) and I decided I had to go with the expert, i.e., the native British person, so I bought these minature roses.  As it happens, there are a few wild rose bushes in the back yard but they all seem sickly this year, leaf-wise, and none of them are in this little garden area I'm creating, so I had to get my token roses, per the British neighbor!  I take it as a sign that she walked past, as I usually go a good year between sightings of her, as she spends half her time back in Britain.
A bunch of other flowering perennials that I can't remember the names of
A dark green bush with shiny leaves that the pup at the nursery told me "does well" and has white flowers eventually

I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out, because I can't remember it all, but you get the point:  I took the BTD bud who told me about the English Cottage Garden concept to heart when I read this quote in a link he gave me:  ""Therefore, the cottage garden has no formal plan. It is a riot of colour and plants crammed in wherever there is a space."

Between the plants and the stone benches, it is already looking so cool and is having the desired effect of peacefulness and soothing, as I couldn't keep up my usual frenzied planting pace and found myself pausing often to sit on the bench, take a few swigs of WF mineral water, and "stop and smell the roses", only I didn't have the roses yet at that point, but I stopped to smell all the wonderful flowers and herbs, and watch the bees that have already discovered Sarah's garden.  My dog and cats love it, too.  The dog is funny and uses the little "doorway" I created to the rest of the backyard out of two big, beautiful rocks I bought (details in a sec) and red (really purple) fountain grass.  She only will go through that now, even though she could fit between some of the plants and go another way.  I get a kick out of seeing her trot back and forth through the "doorway".  I love the garden.  I hope Sarah loves it, too, and can see the "riot of colour and plants crammed in wherever there is a space" from wherever she is.

Details (in the form of pictures) sometime after Easter Sunday!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Revision History (6 edits; 4 reasons shown)
Edna  -  Monday, March 21, 2005, 6:16pm
Edna  -  Monday, March 21, 2005, 3:56pm
Edna  -  Monday, March 21, 2005, 3:54pm
Edna  -  Monday, March 21, 2005, 3:54pm
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Peppermint Twist
Monday, March 21, 2005, 3:47pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 11,075
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Age: 53
P.S.  Forgot to tell you about the ROCKS!  One type is called green glacier rock and is gorgeous striated (is that the word...is that even a word?) pale green and white crystal.  Another is called Dixie pink and is also striated (shot through, if you will) with this sort of purple and white crystal.  Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, and it turns out that the pale green perfectly--I'm talking perfectly--matches my house color, which I hadn't even thought of whatsoever.  I have a clump of the purpley rocks arranged with the heather around it that has the little magenta blooms.  I have the pale green ones with these gorgeous yellow daisies around them.  I have one of each forming a "doorway" at the north end of the garden.  There are two "doorways", one near the house and one to get to the rest of the back yard, not that there is much "rest of it", but there ya go.  The two clumps of purple fountain grass look great behind the rock "door markers".  The whole thing is really coming together!  Oh, and the rock benches I made out of something called "plumbwood flagging".  They are flat pieces of a sort of dark rock (which perhaps is petrified wood, judging by the name...I dunno...but my friend, Stan, will know when he comes to check it out) with interesting color variation within.  I made the legs very simply out of two upside down, faux-clay pots but they miraculously match the unusual color of these stones!

Yeah, baby.  Got a lot of free weight-training by obtaining these rocks, too.  I'm feeling my biceps for the first time in years!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

my Facebook page

Revision History (1 edits)
Edna  -  Monday, March 21, 2005, 6:42pm
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u2dan
Monday, March 21, 2005, 6:11pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Car that sounds so awesome!!  I wish i lived nearby cuz i would totally help out, i love gardening!  I used to do it when i lived in NH, but now i cant in the city

oh well, i think its great that you are doing this too, and i cant wait to see the photos soon!
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debs
Monday, March 21, 2005, 8:32pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

if at first you don't succed try & try again.
Sam Dan
Posts: 853
yes it sounds lovely.it sounds like it will be something of a sensory garden which i imagine Sarah would have loved.i dont know if you have the space or budget for water or windchimes? whatever you decide the plants are beautiful & there will be some wonderful smells.of course if you want an English cottage garden dont forget the delphiniums,larkspur & irises,then they're some of my favourites so i'm a tad biased
More importantly you've done it for good reason with a good heart & i for one applaud you & send you a hug which is what Sarah would do too.


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ISA-MANUELA
Tuesday, March 22, 2005, 6:56pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Car 54 I'll send you a little gemstone
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Peppermint Twist
Tuesday, March 22, 2005, 7:48pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 11,075
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Age: 53
Isa, that is so sweet.  I sent U a private message.  U don't have to do that, dear.  I shall get one here.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

my Facebook page
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jsgrierson
Wednesday, March 23, 2005, 8:16pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Can we all come and take tea (with cucumber sandwiches) in your garden soon?
Lets have a cyber tea party when we all sip our preferred infusion simultaneously.When it's 4pm there on Easter Sunday, what is it here? Depends where you are Car!
Love, Jenny
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Peppermint Twist
Wednesday, March 23, 2005, 8:37pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
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Age: 53
Quoted from jsgrierson
Can we all come and take tea (with cucumber sandwiches) in your garden soon?
Lets have a cyber tea party when we all sip our preferred infusion simultaneously.When it's 4pm there on Easter Sunday, what is it here? Depends where you are Car!
Love, Jenny


I'm in the US of A, eastern standard time.  Unfortunately, I have these just indescribably, unbelievably obnoxious neighbors (they defy all description and belief, truly...oh, I just said that...they also cause continual cortisol infusion to the brain, which burns memory cells, sorry) and I worry that their disrespectful, LOUD, destructive energy will intrude on the healing, loving, creative, peaceful, soothing energy that the garden puts out there and that I want to especially happen when I dedicate it to Sarah on Easter/her birthday, especially the QUIET, PEACEFUL aspect, but all I can do is try to wait for a moment when they are not in full obnoxious form.  If it doesn't happen, I shall just do the best I can.  But as for the real, versus virtual, tea and cucumber sandwich party in the garden, I'll tell you what I told my mom, when she said she can't wait to see it:  Let's wait until after the neighbors move far, FAR away.  Then, it's a date!  A big date!

HOWEVER, there will be pictures taken of this ASAP!  I am hoping that the flowers don't all go kaput on me before I get 'em all planted and they get their glamour pics taken!  I got a lot of planting in on Monday evening, which was an overcast, rainy afternoon/evening, PERFECT for planting in Florida.  Had a class last night.  Tonight:  Bags of soil from Lowe's, big time!  A good section of this garden has so many mature Laurel Oak roots and other tree roots that there is no way to dig a hole, so I am going to build up soil around the plants there.  I did this with one line of Mammy crotons a year ago in the front, with excellent results (gosh, they are spectacularly beautiful--I LOVE crotons!).

Gotta go.  I will keep you all posted and we will have virtual tea and cucumber sandwiches, for sure.  It feels like it is all of Sarah's BTD friends creating this garden, as I have gotten ideas from several others that blossomed (no pun intended!) into big parts of the garden concept.  It definitely feels like we are all doing this together.  I'm hoping to get it virtually finished (although a garden is never really "finished", it is always a process, a labor of love) by Easter, but the great thing is, if I don't, Sarah would understand.

btw, your idea is beautiful.  Everyone try to have a spot of their favorite tea or other beverage at precisely 11:00 a.m. EST (that way, it will be 4:00 p.m. in her native land of London, England) in honor of Sarah this Easter Sunday, which would have been her 41st birthday, and will be the dedication of her little garden.  I will shoot for doing the dedication at 11:00 a.m., eastern standard time.  Synchronize your watches, all!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Revision History (4 edits)
Edna  -  Wednesday, March 23, 2005, 8:48pm
Edna  -  Wednesday, March 23, 2005, 8:47pm
Edna  -  Wednesday, March 23, 2005, 8:46pm
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jsgrierson
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 8:10pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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That'll be 2am EST Australia on Sunday morning.Will try to wake briefly. Jenny
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debs
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 8:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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car54 no cucumber sandwiches for us cyber or not
i shall make us roast beef sandwiches my dear


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Peppermint Twist
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 8:48pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Jenny, if you don't do it at that time, I think Sarah would understand!!!  I am going to try for 11:00 a.m. but, if the situation with my obnoxious neighbors is too over-the-top at that time, I myself will wait for a quieter time (if such a time comes that day).  I think that if all of Sarah's friends from the BTD community just take a moment sometime during the day of Sunday, which is her birthday and Easter, that will be our way of being in community on that day and pausing to honor her.  The dedication of her garden is just a vehicle for that.  The exact time is not important, just the act of doing it.  It would be cool if we all paused to think of Sarah at the exact same moment, but that is probably not going to be practical for everyone, so if we just do it in the same day, that is every bit as powerful.  We are sending our love and prayers to her and her family and that is the great part.  I think it was a beautiful idea of yours to have a "cyber tea" for her and if we all do it in our own parts of the world, in our own way, at the time that is best for us, it will be like a round-the-clock, 24-hour toast.  How beautiful and what a way to honor this remarkable, special person.

I want to say thank you, Jenny, for thinking of it and I am going to do it!  I am going to drink a little tea and toast to Sarah after I dedicate the garden.

Whew, I have SO MUCH still to do on it.  No way will it be totally "ready" for Sunday, but on the other hand, it is amazing how much I have gotten done.  Tonight is gazing ball procurement night, new curtain for the garage window that faces the garden (there is a torn up thing there right now that predates my arrival at the house!), try to get more plants in the ground, get bags and bags of soil from Lowe's and a few other little things, and all not necessarily in that order!  I think some of it will have to wait until Saturday, which will be the big push.

I think it is good, when you are grieving for someone, to have a project like this, so that you feel like you are doing something.  In Judaism, there are many things that the relatives are supposed to do, as far as rituals and stuff, and I think that is so healthy and wise because you need to feel like you are doing what you are "supposed" to be doing, yet you don't know what that is and that is why it is helpful if your religion tells you at that time:  Do this.  Because if you are really what they call a "primary mourner", i.e., a child, parent, or spouse, you are very numb and fragile and being told to do a, b, c, and d really helps you not to fall totally apart.  That is one time in life--when you lose someone and are grieving--when you want to be told what to do, when you don't want to and really cannot figure things out and make good decisions, big or small.  I think even for others not in the immediate family, you can be hit hard by grief, trust me, and it is good to have some task, some ritual obligation, some rituals themselves, a project, or SOMETHING so that you don't get hit with the full weight of the thing all at once, as it would be too much.  I think this garden project has really helped me, and the scrapbook, too, although that one has been stressful in some ways, but still I felt that I was doing something, whereas otherwise I would have felt "I wish there was something I could do, I wish there was something I could do".  Ditto with the garden.  Even though that one helps no one but me and maybe some of you who are participating, and even if all the flowers wilt and go bye-bye, it has carried me through these first few weeks.

I remember in college when my friend, Robyn's mom died.  She is Jewish and I was not raised Jewish, and I remember going to NYC to be with her for a few days and being so impressed with the way the Jewish religion and community deals with death, because Robyn had so many people surrounding her and supporting her and so many things she had to DO, ritually, so that she never had time to stop and just be hit with the awful totality of what had happened if she wasn't ready.  There were all these ritual things she had to do and I know it helped her so much to have to do them, she even said so, but I had already been thinking it before she said it.  At times like death, organized religion is at its best, and the most ancient, wise traditions really understand the importance of ritual and doing things--taking actions--to honor the person who has passed away.  When my own dad died, I didn't have that except for a memorial service, and that memorial service was very important.

I really think rituals and ceremonies and symbolism are all very important.  Wow, I really went off on a tangent there, huh?  It is just that I've been thinking a lot about all sorts of stuff related to grieving and death since Sarah passed away.  Guess I'm just thinking "out loud" so to speak.  It is just that grieving brings with it this strange sense of "what am I supposed to do?  shouldn't I be doing something?".  I think it is so important to have a religion or something or someone to step in and say "here is what you do, just do this, this is what you should do".  That way, you have something to focus on to avoid becoming overwhelmed with grief, AND you feel like you are honoring the person who passed away, too.  So, I think that is a great thing about Judaism, because boy does it as a religion have lots of wise ritual actions and things that basically support the doer thereof.  And that was a great thing about David saying to Sarah's "e-friends", hey, you know how you can help the family, you can write something for her scrapbook".  And that is a great thing about this garden thing, too.  All of these things may honor the one who passed and may help their loved ones, but they also have a secret function:  they help the doer.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

my Facebook page

Revision History (3 edits)
Edna  -  Friday, March 25, 2005, 2:44pm
Edna  -  Thursday, March 24, 2005, 8:53pm
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MargoH
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 9:03pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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What a great project Car54

All your tangenting makes me wonder how the O %'s stack up Jewishly speaking!

I can see all that activity really helping an O.

Will be willing you a peaceful dedication ceremony when the time comes and looking forward to the piccies.
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Brighid45
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Kyosha Nim
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Dear twinnie, what a wonderful idea! You have the biggest heart, full of compassion.
I will have a cup of Sip Right in hand on Sunday to honor Sarah and your memory garden.

Just a suggestion for the garden--I know you already have so many things going in, but how about planting some rosemary? 'Rosemary for remembrance,' Shakespeare said. In your climate it will be an evergreen plant that could be trimmed into a hedge (and provide you with tasty clippings for turkey, chicken and fish recipes!). Just a thought.

Looking forward to pictures!


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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jsgrierson
Friday, March 25, 2005, 7:56am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Edna
 All of these things may honor the one who passed and may help their loved ones, but they also have a secret function:  they help the doer.


Car, you are so full of love, and  I honour you for all that.
Your words about ceremony really touched me as I've just become a marriage celebrant and have done my first few ceremonies. It is so wonderful to be part of people's 'passages' and does just as much for the celebrant as for the couple. Shortly I shall be training to extend my work to funerals and a lot of your comments above really touched me. I have so much to learn.

Sunday at 4 then.
Jenny
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Peppermint Twist
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Kyosha Nim
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Sunday at 4!  Well, actually, Sunday at 11:00 a.m., here in Florida, USA.  IF the kids are not doing their thaaaang.  Again, though, I think if all of us in the BTD community who cared about Sarah just take a moment sometime on Sunday, it will be like a "24-hour moment", a 24-hour toast, a 24-hour remembrance.  Jenny, I thank you for this great idea to "kick up" (to quote a certain cook on a certain TV show here in the states) the dedication a notch by making it a real cybercommunity event wherein we are all participating in our own way, in our own parts of the world.

Twin, I shall purchase a rosemary plant when I get more soil (it is unreal how many 40-lb bags of soil I need for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and add it to the garden.  Space is at a premium and I realized last night that I have grouped/planted certain plants WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too close together for their ultimate sizes.  Prob being, I am not familiar with most of these plants and they aren't all labeled well, ya know?  PLUS, I must admit, I want the garden to look good NOW, for it's glamour pics for y'all, versus how it would look if I had spaced everything properly, with enough space so that when everything reaches its ultimate size it will look great.  So basically, it is all all y'alls fault that I planted stuff too close together!  Case in point, sweet vibernum are plants that make hedges and should be planted a few feet apart, but I scrunched three or four of them right together.  Oh well.  Things are very "scrunched" in places, but I figure the plants will adapt.  I'm not one of these anal gardeners, which is why I'm not a baker, either, I'm more of a cook if I'm anything:  I don't do measuring, weighing, graphing, preparing the beds, or anything like that:  If a plant is "man enough" to make it in my tough love environment, then so be it, otherwise, the tribe has spoken *lol*.  I water and I mulch (although I have not even begun to contemplate contemplating the contemplation of getting all the mulch for this, or even if I am going to mulch, I may leave the grass alone on the "paths" between the plants.  I may not, I may mulch and get stepping stones...I don't know.  I know I can't do all of this by SUNDAY!  I've been out there after work and running around looking for a non-tacky gazing ball (found plenty of the tacky kind that look like dementedly shiny, Cherynobyl-sized Christmas tree ornament balls, but that isn't what I want!  I want, like a blown-glass orby looking thing...I'm going to Pier One Imports tonight...if they don't have gazing balls, maybe they have something else natural and cool looking I could use instead), planting away long after dark all this week.  Luckily, there is a light that comes on outside the garage at dusk, so there is a little light out there.  But after falling into and practically twisting my ankle in a hole I had just dug the night before last, and then last night after realizing "GASP!  Survivor starts at eight!" (wrong, basketball pre-empted it   ), I did eventually go inside *lol*.  But it takes falling into a hole or Survivor being on (or the misguided illusion that Survivor is on) to get me out of the garden.  As much as is humanly possible to be done by Sunday, shall be done by Sunday.  I think I shall take pics on Sunday itself, no matter what point the garden is at, as I think that is a special day in the life of the garden.  So, prepare for no mulch, no stepping stones, no dedication plaque (a co-worker is making a plaque but she went out of town for the holiday), no "finishing touches" yet.  It is amazing, for instance, how nice mulch makes things look, but it is pretty much for sure I won't have mulched anything by then.  In addition to obtaining about five zillion bags of soil at Lowe's tonight, going to Pier One, taking care of the dog and cats, cleaning up from the day's "kid situation" refuse, and trying to get some planting done, I also have to find and hang a new curtain or something in the garage window.  How I am going to get to that window is another story, as there ....oh, impossible to describe, nevermind, but I have no clue how I shall get up to the curtain rod to hang anything, as there is immoveable and yet very flimsy (as far as climbing onto it) stuff there.  Oy.

Forward, unafraid!

Sunday, 4:00 p.m., London time, 11:00 a.m. EST:  Synchronize your watches!

Twin, I have no clue where I'm going to put this rosemary!  Now you've gone and done it!  In fact, I found myself with one honeysuckle too many and walked around and around thinking, WHERE can I put this?  Well, there was nowhere, so I stuck him (her?  it?) next to the other one and SQUEEZED in next to a sweet vibernum that is already ridiculously close to another sw. vibernum.  I was going to leave a little path between where a chair is going to go and where a stone bench is, yet now I'm thinking:  WHY?  Do those two people really need to be able to walk between where they are sitting?  Noooo.  But I could put some rosemary in there and maybe some more rose plants, as my British neighbor admonished me to get ROSES (and I since got two minature rose plants, but they are kind of hidden away in a flurry of other plants) and I take that as a sign from Sarah because I NEVER see this particular neighbor, yet there she was, walking through the back alley, and saw me planting and commented that the garden was pretty.  We got to talking and I said I was going for "English cottage garden".  That's when she said "Roses!  You need lots and lots of roses!"  Again, must have been a cosmic directive because I see her at most once per year and usually we don't exchange hellos even.  Far as I know, she is the only British native in my immediate section of da 'hood.  The odds of her walking by were little and bitty, as she is never around.  So, I'll get some rosemary, standard-size roses, and maybe some more marigolds because I had forgotten how incredibly wonderful marigolds smell and they are gorgeous, ta boot.  I'll put that lot in where there was gonna be a little path.  The nice thing about the little path is that it would have completed a little circular path...also, I don't want to plant anything between the chair and bench that would preclude folks sitting in same from seeing each other.  Maybe I'd better stick to miniature roses, as once I bought mine, I went over to the British woman's house, looking like swamp thing, mind you, covered head to toe in soil, and her garden and house are so PERFECT, and showed her these roses to see if they made the grade.  She showed me her miniature roses and the plants are not as big as her standard rose plants.

Okay, this post is getting loooooooooooooooooooong...this concludes our rambling on and on session for today!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Edna  -  Friday, March 25, 2005, 2:26pm
O's:  eat breakfast or your posts, too, will be rife with typos from lack of protein!
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Quoted from Brighid45
Dear twinnie, what a wonderful idea! You have the biggest heart, full of compassion.
I will have a cup of Sip Right in hand on Sunday to honor Sarah and your memory garden.


Quoted from Jenny
Car, you are so full of love, and  I honour you for all that.


Thanks.  It is actually all for Sarah (for most people, I couldn't care a flying fig less about) because she was such a good friend and remarkable human being.  No matter what she was going through, she always wanted to know how I was, and about the stresses and strifes in my world, even though they paled in comparison to what she was going through.  I appreciated that at the time, but since her passing away, I've had the chance to really think about how great of a friend she was to me.  This may sound weird but, even though we never met face to face, I feel that in many ways she was the best friend I ever had.  So I'm just trying to honor her...and at the same time, dig into (literally!) a task of some sort so that the grieving process somehow turns into something positive and life-affirming...like a garden.







"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Brighid45
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This is an excellent way to honor Sarah, Car. Don't worry about doing things wrong, or making mistakes. One, the plants will let you know how they like things, and two, a garden is a living entity, one that takes shape over time. Every gardener's middle name is Patience.  As you go along you'll find special plants, stones, ornaments, and so on to put in the garden which will enhance its beauty. (An aside: I think Pier One has those neato swirly glass globe wishing balls . . . I *think*.)

At this point you probably don't want to hear any more suggestions, but I'll give them to you anyway and you m,ay do with them as you please. Your neighbor is right--lots of roses--but you could also put in some pinks, also called Sweet William (Dianthus sp.). They are charming little perennials that grow about six inches high, with green-grey foliage and pretty little five-petalled flowers in all shades of pink, rose, carmine, and white. They make nice ground cover around taller plants like roses. The older varieties smell wonderful too. A second suggestion is hollyhocks. They are old-fashioned flowers which add plenty of height and color to anywhere you need it.

About the rosemary: you can put it in a hanging basket if you don't have room for it in the garden proper. It will be perfectly happy there, believe me.

Okay, enough suggestions. You're already going meshuggah with what you've got to do. Now listen up: DO NOT FREAK OUT OVER THIS. (Unless it feels too good to stop. *g*) However things turn out will be just fine.

I don't know why I'm trying to get a Virgo to stop going over details.



Hang in there, twinnie! You're doing a good thing here.  


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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12:52 pm Fri BULLETIN:  This just in!  This just in!  Car went messhuganah on her lunch break and "thought outside the box" as far as getting a gazing ball:

Problem:  All the so-called gazing balls available locally are of the TACKY, dementedly shiny, pooey, non-glass variety and I wanted a hand-blown, solid glass orb/sphere.  Ideally, it would have been like the work of this one glass artist--I can't think of the name--who does nothing but make what he calls "worlds", which are these glass, planet-looking things that are just absolutely wonderful and gorgeous.  And they cost a few grand each, no doubt, but surely, I reasoned, there was a Home Depot version?  WRONG.  Every single place had the dementedly shiny, metallic-looking kind, except for my beloved Lowe's, however, they had just one style and it had sort of this bright, deep blue that was not right for the colors in my garden and of my house.  Hard to explain, but it was just subtley wrong.  Subtley is everything!  God is in the details!  I DID see the kind of gazing ball I imagined and envisioned on the internet, but how on earth could I procure me one of those gorgeous, spiritually calming ones by SUNDAY!  It is now Friday!

Solution:  Went to Pier One.  If you need something and you will only know what it is when you see it, Pier One is the place to go.  I hope I am not channelling Kirstie Alley here, but I really do think Pier One is da bomb.  Haven't been there in years because I'm po' and it is really for the yuppified among us, no matter how much they may be trying to appear "earthy" and bohemian, doncha know.  They pull up in their Lincoln Navigators--dead giveaway!  Yuppie alert!   Anyway....

Went cruising into Pier One on my lunch break and bought me a "gazing ball".  Well, now in reality...and please don't laugh/judge/cringe...it is a paperweight, but it is cool and much nicer than the so-called gazing balls currently being sported locally.  True, this paperweight is little, little, little, yet that might just work nicely with the scale of my garden, too, as it is small.  What do I need with some huge orb horning in there?  No, a little artist-formerly-known-as-a-paperweight might be just the meditative, reflective, evil-spirit-warding-off*-ticket.  The paperweight only cost $5.00!!!!!!!!!  The stand, however, was another story.  Had to think really outside the box there.  Ended up with a candlestick stand to the tune of $40.00.  It would like to say it is wrought iron, and it certainly is HEAVY enough to be, but I fear it may be some sort of rust-prone fake stuff, as there is a little chip off the foot of one of the legs, and underneath is not solid black like the color of this thing, but more of a brown...hmmmmm...

Anyway, let's see how she flies.  The gazing ball (artist formerly known as a paperweight) looks like this, except that the colors are different:  instead of that dark blue, mine is a pale, muted sky blue, and the green is a paler green, but the pattern is the same:




*According to something I read on the net whilst Googling up glass gazing balls, the gazing ball originated in Victorian England (again, appropriate for Sarah's garden!) and were thought to ward off evil spirits.  Let's hope that is true and it keeps the obnoxious, disrespectful energy of the bad neighbors away, allowing the loving, creative, healing, soothing energy of the garden to flourish in peace.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Edna  -  Friday, March 25, 2005, 6:12pm
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Quoted from Brighid45
Every gardener's middle name is Patience.



Uh oh.  And here I was beginning to fancy myself something of a gardener.  Well, another dream shattered.


Seriously, I have probs in terms of I HAVE PLANTED SOME OF THE PLANTS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO CLOSE TOGETHER.  Witness (bold emphasis added):

"Sweet Viburnum
Viburnum odoratissimum
This evergreen shrub has fragrant white flowers in spring. Bright green leaves have a high-gloss shine to them.
Light: Performs well in full or partial sun.
Growth: A fairly quick grower that can grow to 40' high and 30' wide if left unpruned.


"When used as a hedge or screen the experts recommend planting this shrub 5 ft (1.5 m) apart"

Um, yeeeah, well, here's the thing:  I kinda planted my four kinda sorta RIGHT next to each other.  Maybe I will take all but one out and put them...somewhere, I know not where, as there is NOWHERE left on my property to put such items.  I mean...no, there's nowhere!  But then Sarah's garden will not look right, right NOW.  I don't have that "patience" thing of which you speak, twin!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Hold up!  Maybe I figured it out!  Maybe I can dig up all but one of these bad boys and put them BEHIND my line-o-Mammy crotons that line the rear alley.  They are shorter than the crotons now, but in time, will be far taller than the 3 to 5+ feet mature height of Mammy crotons.*  They will thus provide a nice PRIVACY SCREEN for the alley, and if they really get that big and wide, will fit right in between the lower (in future) croton line, with it's flare of color, and the oak and Pine behind them.  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  Sometimes, I amaze myself!  Might have to but a few MORE of the sweet viburnum, but I will space them luxuriously apart, so that they can spread as much as they like.  I'll just have one there in Sarah's garden and y'all will have to DEAL with how weird it will look right now, with space around it.  I've braced you for the shock....


(No, Jane, I have not had coffee!  But, thanks to you, there may have been some Pamela's wheat-free cookies involved in my present hyper mood!  I'm grain-free...except for the occasional headlong plunge into Pamela's wheat-free lemon shortbread cookies!  The box forced itself into my hands and then somehow it was gone.  Don't look at me, I don't know what happened.)

*Will also maybe have to move a poor little Burford holly that has already been moved once.  It is okay, I have a spot for him.  May have to move a baby twisting juniper tree too, but all will be well.

...I may put a sweet viburnum in line with the other line, on the OTHER side of the house, too.

Man, I'm on some sort of landscaping spree to end all landscaping sprees.  Someone shoot me with a tranquilizer gun before I plant out my entire property and have to tear down the house to make way for more PLANTS!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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jsgrierson
Friday, March 25, 2005, 8:53pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Car, perhaps if there are too many plants, or if you need to dig up one or two in a few month's time (after the photographs are done, mind), you may like to keep them in plastic pots so that when Sarah's family and friends drop by (as must surely happen), you will have the best sort of souvenirs to share with them?
Jenny
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omg, Jenny, what a horrible thought, i.e., that anyone might actually stop by, because while, after nine years of working on it, culminating in Sarah's garden, my yard now looks amazing (except for one remaining little area, but I'm taking a break *lol*, besides, as of Saturday, it is now officially hot and humid here until early November, so I am now done with any and all landscaping projects until then, which will give my budget a chance to recover a smidge, too...before Sarah's garden, I did the entire front city right-of-way...stop the madness!), the inside of my house is an unmitigated DISASTER AREA, and I would be really embarrassed if anyone saw the dern thing.  I mean, ashamed, it is that bad.  BAAAHD.  From looking at the inside, you would never guess how much $$$$$ I have pumped into the thing in the nine years I've lived there, as it is all "invisible", like the roof (do not, under any circumstances, get me started on that subject), termite treatment, new sewer pipe, new hot water heater (again, best not to go there), new doors, etc.  None of that "shows".  The only thing that shows was painting the outside and I do love the colors and that I got rid of hideous striped awnings and instead have dark ivy/hunter green shutters, but the handyman who painted did not caulk at all or scrape properly and that is all going to have to be redone waaaaaaay too soon.  Oy vey.  What I don't like about home ownership is that, when you finally scrimp and save and get something done, it isn't done right.  ANYWAY, the bottom line is that the inside of my house, especially the KITCHEN ( ) looks like a total and complete disaster area.  In fact, I recently moved heaven and earth to get a good homeowner's insurance company which is impossible in FL with an old house and I give myself props galore for doing this, plus I thank God and my lucky stars, and I am surprised that the inspector (yup, they sent out an inspector--twice, he forgot to snap photos under the sinks the first time!) didn't recommend to the insurance company that they flee in terror and never look back.  By some miracle, he took me.  The ultimate thing was when he said "The roof looks good".  If he only knew what I've been through to get to that comment.  And personally, I will NEVER feel comfortable about this roof, but the excellent roofers I just used a while back to do a huge repair to the work the horrible roofers (who since went out of business while my roof was still under warranty  ) talked me out of getting a whole new roof.  THAT is an ethical roofing co.!  I was saying I thought I needed a whole new roof (even though my roof is only five years old, but, trust me...) and he said, basically, no, this is a cr*ppy job, fo sho, but you "should get the life out of it, which is only going to be about 7 more years down here anyway...give it 7 years".  Well, now I think it is leaking in two other places, but he told me, if I need further repairs, they won't be as expensive as the one I just had to get in October, which was redoing an entire valley that was installed "in reverse" (tip of the iceberg, my friends, extreme tip of the iceberg), they would just be a smaller repair.  I'm just very thankful to now know of a good roofing company.  But I don't feel comfy with my roof and I fear getting the plaster repaired and the inside painted in case I do, in fact, have active leaks still going on...anyway, all this was started by your saying people might drop by *lol*:  Just be aware that the house is "not ready for primetime".  And that fact is getting really embarrassing after nine years, but, hey, my salary is that of an administrative assistant and this house requires more the salary of Donald Trump in order to wrest it from the grip of disintegration!


Time for a separate post on dedicating the garden yesterday....coming up shortly...stay tuned to your official BTD channel for details...


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Well you'd better get used to that thought, twin o' mine, because I'd love to come down and see the garden someday. Maybe even bring something to contribute to it.



The plant moving sounds like a winner. Don't worry, the plants will let you know whether they like where they are or not. Plants don't mess around. They are forthright and honest. *lol* I think with all the good thoughts and memories coming your way from Sarah's family and friends, your work will shine forth.

I LOVE the paperweight/gazing ball--perfect!


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For some reason, I have put off writing about this all morning.  I don’t know why, it just feels like, once I post about dedicating Sarah’s garden, maybe everyone will forget about her, but of course, I know that isn’t true.  Feelings, go figure.  They are wacky little animals, no?

Anyway, yesterday was a beautiful, quiet, “summer in the air” morning here in central Florida.  Due to the intolerable situation with the problem neighbors, since the early a.m. was so beautiful, I decided to go ahead with the little dedication right then and there, just in case the pack-o-wild kids would be out later.  I fully intended to also do a toast at exactly 11:00 a.m., but I decided the quiet of the very early morning was very conducive to focusing and saying what I really wanted to say to Sarah.  Turned out to be a good decision.  At about 8:00 a.m. or 8:15 a.m., it just felt like the right moment to dedicate Sarah’s garden.  I had worked so hard for about ten hours straight the day before to get it “ready”, and it ended up looking good.  I still don’t have the little plaque for it, so I shall have to procure another disposable camera, as I used up a whole roll of film already, and I want to get the plaque in there, plus I may add a few plants in one place where I thought I was leaving room for a chair, but really a chair doesn’t fit there, AND I may move one plant that I spied a mature one of on a walk and realized, uh oh, that sucka is gonna get BIG.  Plus, I’m not sure how my pics came out, due to a sitch I’ll get to in another post to do with the fact that I have realized, via the vehicle of taking those pics, that I can’t see a darn thing through my right eye except a blur…and I thought it was something wrong with the camera!  But we’ll get to that in a future post.  About the dedication:  After all my “lifting that barge and toting that bale” the day before, including 15 40-lb bags of soil, more big rocks from the rock place, planting the remaining plants, etc., I was physically exhausted, and worried somehow that the dedication wasn’t going to feel “sacred enough”, like I wasn’t up to it suddenly.  But as soon as I started heading for the garden I felt tears welling up as they have so often since Sarah passed away.  I think it is so healthy that I’ve been crying so much, as I never usually do.  Crying is good, me thinks.  Anyway, so I just said a few heartfelt words about how much Sarah’s friendship meant to me and what a good friend she was, and that I was so sorry she was taken away from her son, husband and family so soon and that Joe would grow up without her, but to remember how blessed he (Joe) is to have had her for a mother for the first all-important years of his life, and that her influence will live on in him forever.  I said that while it was no less than tragic that she was taken, I thought her family would be okay afterall and I prayed that they would, and that I hoped that she would be at peace and wrapped in God’s love, and that her family would also be at peace and wrapped in God’s love.  I guess it was around that point that I really got on a crying jag and went inside to just really cry.  Again, I’ve decided that I’m a big fan of crying, and I’m so grateful and surprised that I’ve been able to do so much of it.  I never used to be able to.

Good thing I did the dedication when I did, as just about ten minutes later, the kid situation got ridiculous and there would have been no way to do it.  Then they went away (hallelujah!) and, a while later, I was so wiped out physically and emotionally that I lay down for a while.  Next thing you know, I hadn’t really been asleep exactly, but I guess I was half asleep, but this intense breeze snapped me up with a start, and I realized, wait, what TIME is it?  It was 11:01!!!!!!!  Noooooooo!  One minute past the cyberhappening hour!  I leapt up, raced outside with my WF 365 mineral water w/a fresh spearmint leaf from the garden in it, and just did a little toast to Sarah.  Then my friend, Nancy, came over to see the garden.  We were both just totally exhausted for some reason, so we just sat there.  Gotta say that it is very peaceful there (when the neighbors from h*ll on the other side allow it to be) and with us being SO exhausted, perhaps it calmed us TOO much, as we both sort of sat there in a reflective trance, until the dog provided some comic relief by digging determinedly, with purpose, in some of the new topsoil to make herself a nice, cool “bed”.  After J got herself good and dirty, the festivities concluded.

I told Sarah I would always remember her.

As for the garden itself, had I all the money in the world, I would like to put these cool little stones they had at the rock place on the “paths”, versus just the grass that is there, and/or maybe stepping stones.  I should probably mulch everything, too, which I have not, just covered everything in a thick, rich layer of black topsoil, which looks fantastic at this moment, but within day or two it will look just as gray and sandy as the rest of the soil in the yard, and not clearly delineated from same as “garden area”, PLUS all the grass underneath will start poking through, further murkying up the distinction between “garden” and “rest of the yard”.  So, mulch I should, but I tell ya, this exhaustion thing is pretty real at the moment.  After several weeks of intense working on the garden, I just feel like giving it a rest for a little bit…but maybe by the weekend that feeling will pass *lol*!  I hope not, though, as the house, pets, bills, etc., need attention sorely.  Sarah wouldn’t want me neglecting all that too badly.  Besides, mulch might take away from the “informal riot of colour” that the English cottage garden is supposed to be all about.  Mulch seems too formal and planned.  This seems very natural.  And, if I just have to keep adding bags and bags of soil, that should keep my upper arms/biceps in condition, right?  See, it all works out!

Anyway, it isn’t the way a real “gardener” would have done anything:  Many plants are too close together, no doubt, for their ultimate sizes, and I didn’t “prepare the beds”, etc.  But it does look really lovely now at least, it was all done with a lot of love, and the interesting thing is, it DOES have a very soothing, calming feel to it.  It is a very reflective, healing space.  While it may not be her favorite garden if she could see it, I’m sure she’d be touched by the intention and care that went into it, not just by me but by all her BTD friends who made suggestions like Butterfly bushes, English cottage garden, and I think I have a spot for that rosemary now, too.  Guess what else?  A beautiful, big butterfly came fluttering around on Saturday, when I was just at the end of the final push to get the garden done.  My hands were filthy, but I went into the garage to get the camera to take a picture of this butterfly, as it was really fluttering right up to me.  When I came back out, it was gone.  I think it will be back.


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Garden developments this week:

1.  J (my dog) knocked over the gazing ball stand, gazing ball, and a nearby plant in a tall clay vase.  At least, we HOPE it was J.  My neighbor and bud at the end of block said "Are you sure it was J, how do you know it wasn't THE KIDS?"  As in, the wild pack of kids that has taken over our block.  Well, they usually aren't in my BACK yard, I gotta say, due solely to the little fence I put up to keep them at bay.  Before that, they were constantly back there.  And that was before the situation got BAAAAAAAAAAHD.  I'm so glad I put the fence up before it did!  But I digress.  About J, I hypothesize that, while I was out watering the front and J was out in the back, she was chasing a squirrel or the nice neighbor's cat, Leo.  Leo loves the new garden and will venture over to drink in the fragrant flowers, chew some of the purple fountain grass (my cats love this, too!  It has provided "salad" into their diets!), etc.  However, as soon as J sees this cat, she chases him out, knocking down anything and everything in her path.  Poor Leo.

2.  Speaking of the gazing ball stand, someone from our fold here suggested spraying same with Rustoleum to prevent it rusting.  I shall do it!  Meanwhile, when I water, I remove it, and if rain threatens, it goes in the garage.

3.  The two gardenias do not look good and are possibly going to go belly up on me.  Everything else is healthy and happy, including all the flowers, which I was scared about (I never planted flowers before!).  About those viburnum, I dug them all up but one, bought some more, and made a secondary hedge along the back alley, behind my colorful croton hedge.  The viburnum will get taller, thus creating (eventually...patience, right, Brighid?) a two-level hedge, with a colorful first level and a tall, green privacy screen behind it.  I left just one viburnum in Sarah's garden, that way s/he has enough room.  I think everything else now has kinda sorta enough room, except for one unidentified glossy green thing that I saw one of elsewhere in the 'hood and it is a BIG BUSH, so I don't know WHAT to do, as my yard is officially now "planted out", as in, there is NOWHERE to put this future big bush.  I have one area left to landscape in the yard, but this future biggie won't fit there, as it is a small area (won't bore yazz with the details).  That area is not getting done until next spring.  I'm done landscaping anything for a year.  I'm tapped out *lol*.  No mas dinero.  Plus it is going to get HOT soon and stay that way until mid-November.  For now, pre-big bush stays where s/he is.  There are two other plants that are called something like Cuban plants, that have yellow flowers.  Saw some older ones of those two at this holistic health place next to my HFS.  They are kinda big, but I think mine have enough room to be okay, if squished in.

I'm just suprised that the flowers are all still alive.  I mean, they seem to tolerate the occasional trampling by J in chase of Leo, and the shade they are in, even though most of their labels said "full sun/plen sun".  I think flowers like shade as much as the next guy, it is just HUMANS who prefer them in full sun so that they will have as many flowers as possible.  I say, they are beautiful even with just a medium number of flowers!

Photos:  Took one roll and realized, in all seriousness (though this will probably sound funny) that I need to get my b*tt in to an eye doctor and get glasses.  I thought there was something wrong with the camera, as when I looked through the lens, everything was unfocused and blurry.  Then I realized (after shooting 25 of the 27 photos in the roll):  It isn't the camera lens, you idiot, it is that YOU DON'T SEE A D*MN THING THROUGH YOUR RIGHT EYE!  I have known for a long time now that, if I close my left eye, I cannot read a blessed thing (or a blasted thing, for that matter) through the right, it is a complete blur.  Not good.  But still not enough to compel me to a doctor.  However, now I realize that it isn't just reading, my sight is unfocused/blurry through my right eye, period.  Time to go to the doctor.  Meanwhile, I will get a second disposable camera because my co-worker has not finished the sign yet, and I want a pic of that, plus, now that I figured out about my vision being wack, I am going to try to either look through my left eye or whatever to compensate.  Because, knowing me, it will take me at least a few more weeks to possibly months of procrastination before I go to an eye doctor.  I tried to look on line on our health insurance's site to see if a certain doctor is on our list of in-network providers, but I had forgotten my user ID and password, so that was enough to thwart me *lol*.  But meanwhile, I will snap another role of pics and pick out like the five or six best ones from all of them to post for all y'all dawgs.  I will try to get my procrastinating self to do this soon, so that I can post 'em in this thread before it expires.  I am posting this now not just to let you know when the photos will come, but to "bump" the thread back into another 30-day active period!

I wonder how the pics I took through my unfocused eye will come out!  Probably perfect *lol*!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Edna  -  Friday, April 1, 2005, 4:38pm
Edna  -  Friday, April 1, 2005, 4:36pm
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