Once upon a time there lived a family of four very unique individuals known as the Bloody Family. There was a mystery as to where they actually came from and their parents must have just got the latest book of baby names and decided to be creative. The oldest child was called Fucose, who quite rightly shortened it to just “O”. Next came N-Acetyl-Galactosamine who preferred to be called “A”, followed by her little sister D-Galactosamine, who wanted to be called “D”, but wasn’t very good with the alphabet (despite being a killer at crossword puzzles) and so ended up as “B”. Last but not least came the youngest and after a massive fight between the parents over whether he should be called A junior or B junior, ended up a being called “AB” to keep the peace.

One day, O thought they should have a family meeting.

O: I think it’s time we had a Bloody family meeting. Hey A, go and round up those other idiots.
A: Just because you’re the oldest you think you can boss everybody around. You’re so insensitive.
O: I am not insensitive and if you call me that again I”ll smash your face in. Where the hell is B.
A: I don’t know, must have wandered off somewhere as usual. Hey AB, go and see if you can find B while I organise some pens and paper and a few refreshments.
AB: Oh man, you’re freaking me out!. What if B doesn’t want to be found man, what if finding B alters the karmic path that B is meant to travel man, it could upset the whole universe man.
O: Shutup ya fruitcake. Stay there and contemplate your navel and I’ll go hunt her down myself.

Just then B walks through the door as serene and balanced as she always is (except for that time she ended up with a high toxicity and indican reading after a weekend at the chicken ranch) and dressed like no one else you’ve ever seen before. B always thought she should be a designer, but could never stay still long enough to put her ideas into practice.

O: Right, I’ve called this meeting because we really have to do something about all the food in the fridge. The old Westinghouse is starting to collapse because we all have our own foods and there just isn’t enough room. We have to work out if we can find some common foods that we all eat so we don’t double up. Any ideas?
AB: Hey, who made you the leader man?
O: Shutup.
A: Oooooh, my aching belly!
AB: Oh far out man, what’s up sis?
A: I just finished four grilled cheese sandwiches, a bowl of olives, a couple of slices of ham, a large orange juice, 2 mangoes and a bowl of cashew nuts with a whiskey chaser. I really gotta stop having these big breakfasts.
O: If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, olives aren’t good for you. Hey, where did B go?
AB: I think she’s wandered off again man.
O: Hey B, where are you?
B: I’m on the roof.
O: What the hell are you doing up there?. Get down here. Crazy fool, I’m sure she thinks she thinks she’s trekking the Himalayas when she does that. We should call her Sir Edmund bloody B Hilary.
B: For your information I was taking a quiet moment to think of all the foods that we all like to eat that don’t cause us any digestive problems (looking sternly at A, who always seems to stress so badly about these matters).
O: Good, good, at least someone around here has their head screwed on right.
AB: Hey chill out man, don’t get yourself all worked up man, you know what happens when get all full of adrenaline man, it’s like you just don’t come down man you know what I mean man.
O: Shutup.
AB: See man.
O: Right. I’m going to run down to the store (it’s only five miles and I should be able to do that in 25 minutes at a good pace) and see what the cost of a new refrigerator is. So while I’m doing that, I want you all to draw up a list of all the foods you eat and we’ll cross-check them when I get back.
A: Righto, I’ve got everything organised. Here’s your pens and pads people, here’s your running shoes O, and here’s a couple of glasses of beer just to make it all fun. I mean, nothing like a bit of alcohol to calm the nerves eh?

As O puts on his running shoes and shakes his head at A, B roams out into the backyard and AB sits in quiet contemplation waiting for the list of foods to “come” to him, another day in the Bloody household has begun.

(The Bloody family story is to be continued by the next forum participant. Try to make the story continue from where the last entry left off. I suggest you write your entry into a word processor and then copy it across just in case something goes wrong with the computer or whatever. It also gives you time to think of all the blood type related matter for your story line. Have fun)

  we should set up a separate section for "type O humor."  Nobody else gets it.

*laughing helplessly*

I am copying this and forwarding it to my AB roomie back East. She'd better read it or I'll punch her lights out. And I know when she DOES read it, she'll say "Oh wow, far out man!"



Nice one azzap.  

ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
he-he-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

super-great- now I am blaming myselve for my bad english can't come with you!!!

Azzap-you are one of the greatest- really good-love this form of writings very much
congratulations for that, boy I'll look for a lecturing job???! Great stuff!!!!!

yours truly ISA (Clau.Schi. remplacement hi-hi-hiiiiiiiii)

Quoted from Brighid45, posted Saturday, December 25, 2004, 3:07pm at here

... she'll say "Oh wow, far out man!"

Isa-M beat her to it.    


  !!!

azzap,

This is a groovy story.  

You have a great, creative mind to conjecture this Bloody Family tale; it is only fair that you should finish what you started.



Alia

oooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuups-sorry

*lol*!!
Indeed she did, Heidi. At least now we don't have to take Isa out back and work her over.

Just kidding, Isa!!

I'll be calling my AB friend a little later tonight and will report her review.

I just realized something.              



{{{roflshiwm}}}


{wipes away tears}


everybody, read how Alia is 'organizing' Aaron to finish the story and ... and that...

     



the B's are missing....  



         !!!!!!!

Heeeeeeeee!!

Blood will out!

azzap-great story teller you are.   I loved it.   [rolmao]            

Debra

Jeeesh, you guys.....
I'm outta here!!!!!!!!!!

We B's gotta get goin' man!

As O ran to the store (timing himself and checking on his heart rate), A decided to jump on the net and check out the latest news going around. Much to her disgust she found an article about the new rules regarding vitamin supplements that the European Union was looking to introduce in the new year.
A: Oh my god, have you seen the new rules that the European Union are looking to introduce in the new year?, she shrieked to no one in particular. They’re going to remove large-dose vitamins from the shelf and replace them with “safe” level doses. Who ever heard of anyone dying from vitamin C.?
AB: Whoa, chill out man, you know it’s all a planned move by the mega-powers to remove the rights of the common people to chose their own lifestyle while at the same time enforcing a draconian medico-pharmacalogical oligarchy designed to diminish your health and decrease you wealth man.
A: What?
AB: There’s nothing you can do about it man.
A: Animal Manure!. I say we organise a rally and take this issue to our local member and let our politicians know just how we feel.
AB: Right on sister.
B: (looking up from her crossword puzzle) You do realise of course that what you are proposing would require many hours of energy on your part not to mention the fact that we still haven’t even started on our list of foods yet.
A: But we gotta do something. Whew, I’m stressing out here. Where’s my beer? Ah, that’s better. Hey, AB, pour me another one will you?. Thanks.
AB: You know, if you really wanted to relieve that stress then the beer isn’t exactly going to help man.
A: Shutup.
AB: See, you’re starting to sound like O.
A: Well, what do propose I do smarty pants?.
AB: It’s all about cortisol man. You’ve already got high levels in your bloodstream man, so doing some meditation or a good session of yoga will brings those levels right down……man.
A: I don’t have time for meditation or yoga. Who has time to do that sort of stuff? There are more important things to do in life than sitting around going ooohhmmm. What do you think B?. B?, now where the hell has she gone now?
AB: There she is, hiking up that hill over there. She told me once that she hikes to get exercise and to reduce her stress levels. Maybe you should try it.
A: Hiking schmiking. I ain’t gonna traipse all over the countryside like some british backpacker. Show me how you do that meditation thing.

As AB took A through a meditation session (which A resisted all the way until AB told her that lowering cortisol would also help her lose weight), O was on his way back from the store having secured a good deal on a new fridge. As an extra incentive the salesman threw in a week’s worth of meat. O thought that was a great deal and was so excited to tell the others that he cut 2 minutes off his time getting back to the house. After winding down with a few stretches and checking his resting pulse rate he entered the house, only to find it unnervingly quiet. His senses became alert, his heart starting pumping faster and a slight sweat broke out over his brow (more so than what was already there). His muscles tensed and the adrenaline continued coursing through his body. As he entered the lounge-room he prepared for flight or fight….

(Now don’t be shy people. There’s an author in all of us I’m sure. I mean, I’m just making this stuff up off the top of my head using what I’ve learnt from the doctor’s material and my own (and your) experiences. We can all do that, surely. Even if it’s a coupe of lines to add emphasis to the plot or sub-plot (if there is one – hey, send it off in another direction if you want. Add new characters, whatever) in the story. It would be great to see how other blood types add perspective. And it’s a lot of fun too.)

Haha it makes mucho sense, as im laying on my bed but really it is a white sand beach, the most obvious spot but still no one can find me, duh! wait, what was i doing?

Now Azzap,

i'm sure there are much better ways to spend our time than posting silly jokes.  



P.s. In Spain we wink at someone when we are telling a joke; when something is not true. I hope you realise I am following your bloody family joke.

'O: I am not insensitive and if you call me that again I”ll smash your face in. Where the hell is B.'  ...and I mean that in the best possible way.

hahaha

Hey, now...

We're here.

Just not always in the same room... so to speak.  


And as an avid {ahem} hiker, and living with three blood types in one family I must say Aaron, that this really is spot on! Except my O is quite mellow for an O but the A's with their mental intensities and sensitive belly's... Whew!!

!!!

O, with heart racing bursts into the loungeroom.
A: Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!
AB: Aaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!
O: Aaaarrrrrrarrarrrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!
A: O god, I think I'm having a heart attack.
AB: Heavy trip man!
O: What in the sam hill are you too doing?. It was so quiet in here I thought someone had done you all in or something. Where's B?
B: Here I am (as she walked in the door from her trek). I heard all the screaming and came a runnin'.
A: For your information mister hunt-em-and-kill-em, we were meditating. Connecting with the oneness that is all and finding our personal nirvana.
O: Right. Which reminds me, I've got their album around here somewhere. I haven't listened to it for ages.
A: No you idiot, universal nirvana, peace within oneself.
O: Look, I don't care what the title was, I know it's around here somewhere. You think you are the only one's who can be mellow. I've got a good friend who's just like B, and her husband is just like me and he's real mellow, although her kids are just like you A, always with the upset tummies and all, but anyway, as I said, I can be mellow too when I want.....
A,AB and B: Shutup
O: Ooh, Testy testy.
AB: So did you sort out a fridge man?
O: Yep, sure did, and got a week's worth of meat in the bargain.
A: Terrific, I'm dying for a steak.
O: Actually, the funniest thing happened. I was standing outside the store bragging to this bloke about the deal I got and he started telling me about how meat wasn't real good for certain blood types.
B: Who was this bloke?
O: Oh some protoscientist named Deedeearmo or something or other. Looked harmless enough, but what he said really made sense. It might help us with our food lists.
AB: Oh man, you don't want to go messing with nature man, besides, blood is blood, isn't it?
O: No, that's just it. He said there were four blood types. O,A,B,and AB, and that each blood type can respond to the same food differently so that what is good for one might not be good for another.
AB: Whoa man, that sounds just like us. The blood types I mean, and we're the Bloody family, Oh man I'm freakin out man.
B: Chill out AB, this makes sense. O loves his meat and does real well on it, but A and you both seem to get the bloated blues on it. As for me, well, I can take it or leave it, but I do love a good roast lamb.
A: So does that mean I can't have a steak?
O: Not necessarily, but if you want to stop yourself from getting that "brain fog" you always seem to get after a heavy meal, as well as give your digestive system a bit of a break, then you would be wise to cut down drastically on the heavy red meats. He said it was something to do with Intestinal Alkaline Phospatase whatever that is. In fact, according to the doc, the A blood type is predominately vegetarian.
A: Vega-bloody-tarian!. You're joking. That's enough to drive a person to drink. Speaking of which, have we finished that beer yet?
AB: No, can I pour you a pint guvner?.
A: Damn straight.
B: I'll have one too.
O: Ya pack of alcho's, where's a good red wine when you want one.
A: Ooh, listen to mister la-dee-da over here. Beer not good enough for you hey?.
O: No it's not that, it's just that I feel all light headed and get ill really fast with beer.
A,AB, and B: But that's the whole point.
O: Anyway, it's not alcohol I need right now, it's food. I need some protein. Let's get some lunch.
A: Best thing you've said all day O.

As the sun rose high in the sky and the shadows disappeared, the Bloody family set about getting lunch prepared. But this wouldn't be any ordinary lunch. The mysterious doctor had set their minds to work and today's fare would produce something totally different than what they were used too.

I can't wait for the next installment!!  This is great stuff!

azzap-wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful.            And it's still a learning experience too.    

Debra

...any the story continues~

A: Right then, you lot get yourselves washed up while I organise the me-and-u.
B: Always with the organising aren’t you?
AB: Yeh man, why can’t you just live in the moment you know. It’s not all about what’s happening next or what just went man, it’s all about NOW baby. If you’re not living in the moment you’re missing the beauty of all that is man.
A: Are you finished?
AB: I guess so man.
A: Good, because while you were jabbering on I got everything ready, so sit down, shutup, and eat.
AB: Heavy!!
O: I’ve got a hankerin’ for some flankerin’. Was there any rump steak left in the old Westinghouse?
A: Yep, sure was. Not only am I the most organised person in the world but I’m the fastest cook you’ve ever seen too (pokes tongue out at B and AB). Here you go, one rump steak, medium rare, some broccoli, pumpkin and kale with a drizzle of olive oil. As for the rest of us, I must admit to be slightly intrigued by this blood type stuff although the thought of being a vegie is kind of a turn off, BUT, I’m up for a challenge. What about you guys?
AB: I’m easy man.
B: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast pint-sized. I’m partial to some of that steak myself, although the ol’ rump does sit a bit heavy sometimes. Have we got anything lighter, like some venison perhaps?
A: Nope.
B: Buffalo?
AB: All out man.
B: Ah well, vegie me up then. I do love my vegies.
O: I wonder when the new fridge will arrive?

As if on a queue, a knock sounds at the door and O gets up to answer it. As he opens the door a golden light fills the room and the sound of a thousand angels in perfect harmony rings through the air. A man steps through with a shining halo around his head.

Hi, I’m Paul Buckless from the ACME delivery service of Devonport Tasmania. Did somebody order a new fridge?

O: Tasmania, that’s a long way to travel just to deliver a fridge.
Paul: As the motto says, Have Cash, Will Travel. Where do you want this baby?.
A: Right over here will be just fine. No, a little to the left. No, a little to the right. Hang on, I think it would actually look better over here.
Paul: Listen lady, a fridge usually goes in the fridge alcove in the kitchen, will that be good enough for you?
A: Well I suppose that can do for a start.
Paul: I see here you’ve got a week’s worth of meat too. I hope none of you in here are blood type A.
O: Do you know Dr Deedeearmo as well?
Paul: Actually, it’s D’Adamo, as in like the song, Ti Amo, you know I love you so.
O: What did you say.
Paul: I love you so.
O,A,B, and AB take two steps back with hands held out in front of them.
Paul: No, no, Ti Amo….D’Adamo….ah forget it.
B: Oh I see, like in Coup D’etat.
Paul: Yeh, kinda. I see where your coming from with that. I bet your good at crosswords?
B: Well I……
O: What blood type are you Paul?
Paul: I’m an A, and an A to the letter.
A: How’s my lunch looking then Paul?. We’re just trying it for the first time.

Paul looks at A’s plate and his cheeks blow out in anticipation of a hurl. The plate is a mess of navy beans and chickpeas, chinese cabbage, chilli peppers, eggplant and shiitake mushrooms smothered in mayonnaise.

Paul: Well, while I can see you’ve got the right motivation, I do believe there’s room for improvement. Just to give you an idea, here’s what I had for lunch on a lazy Sunday on the 26th of June 2004.

Lunch was a toasted Tofu, miso, sprouts,cress & lettuce sandwich seasoned with savoury yeast, herbamare and my wife Sarah's patented pepper substitute. A mug of freshly brewed hazelnut coffee followed by dried and fresh fruit.

O: (with a mouth full of steak and veggies and a rueful eye on the others). Sounds great.
Paul: Well, I gotta go (sign here please), if you want to know more about what’s good for you go and get the book “Live Right For Your Typeã”, it’s got all the info in it you’ll need. Bye now.
B: What a nice man.
AB: Yeh….I wonder how he gets those angels to follow him. That was groovy man.
O: Well, that steak was pretty “groovy” too. I can feel my digestive juices doing a number on that baby right now. When they’ve finished I’m going to head off down to the gym and catch up with my old mates Vlad and Aeowyn and do some deadlifts. I heard they’re the ducks proverbials for the lower back.
B: As for me, I’m off to the bookstore. The nearest one’s 3 days from here. Just the sort of adventure I like. Better pack some trail mix for this one.
A: I think I’ll take a nap. All this fridge moving has stressed me out.
AB: I think I’ll just sit here and take in the beauty of the day. Don’t you just love the way the light shines through the trees and creates that ethereal glow where you can see all the dust particles and stuff. Guys?…..guys?…..bummer man. Looks like it’s just you and me world till the others get back. They don’t know what they’re missing.

BUCKLESS AND THE BEATIFIC GLOW....  





          mr author azzap is too cool 4 school !!!    




        !!!!  

Cracked me up royal!!


I had just finished reading one of the latest installments when my young A son came by and said, "Mom, I have a new schedule for my clothes." (He has a schedule for his... clothes?!?...come to think of it, he does tend to wear the same clothes on the same days of the week) and he proceeded to explain, in detail, this new schedule. I couldn't help myself and began laughing to which he replied, "What? ...it's efficient".

Busted a gut over that one!  Poor boy, thinking his mother was laughing at him. So I explained the prevalence of this trait in type A's.

I had previously taken the personality profiles of the different blood types with a grain of salt. I had always believed that there are many influences and experiences that shape the development of our personalities throughout our lives but now I am wondering more and more if there is something fundamental within our types that contribute significantly to how we respond to different stimuli on emotional and cognitive levels.


Ohhh... by the way... I have my disappearing act down to a science...  

3 Days Later:

B: I’m back.
AB: Wow man, I can’t believe you hiked all that way just to get us a book.
B: What?. Stuff that, I just jumped on the computer and ordered it via the net. Technology baby, technology. You gotta learn to thrive in changeable conditions.
AB: So where have you been for the last 3 days?. What about “the adventure” and “trail mix” and all that?.
B: Oh, I was just being spontaneous. As soon as I walked past the computer I thought, eh?, what the hell. As for the trail mix, well I took that with me over to the local community hall where I’ve been networking with some business hotshots over a couple of ideas I’ve got for an adventure park.
AB: And that took 3 days??.
B: Well, It required a lot of visualisation, and you know me, gotta get my full 8 hours of sleep every night, so not much got done during the night. Plus I also broke in a couple of the wild horses from the ranch next door during the breaks. You understand don’t you.
AB: Oh yeah man, I totally dig the need for visualisation, especially in a group, although for me, it’s much better alone.
O: (walks into room halfway through conversation). I can understand that, I always feel much better when you’re not around.
AB: Heavy dude. If I wasn’t so compassionate I’d hit you over the head with a crochet mallet.
O: Interesting!. So B, where’s the book?
B: It’s on it’s way, but I’ve got some better news.
A: (enters room) Oh yeh, what’s that?
B: While I was at the community hall I bumped into the doc and we got to talking. He said because we seemed so keen, he would send one of his trusted colleagues over to “hold our hands” as it where, so that we got off on the right foot. He said her name is Heidi and he told me she is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle and loving person he has ever met. In his own words, “she is a true angel from heaven”.
(A knock is heard at the door)
AB: That might be her now, I can’t wait to meet her, she sounds like my type of person.
AB: (opens door), Hi I’m AB, and you must be…
Heidi: DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK MAGGOT. DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY. YOU, YEH YOU, THE ECTOMORPHIC LOOKING STREAK OF PELICAN DROPPINGS. DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE YOUR MOMMA JUST TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE ADOPTED. DROP AND GIVE ME THIRTY. B, WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?. IF IT WASN’T FOR THE FACT THAT WE NEED UGLY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD TO MAKE THE REST OF US LOOK BEAUTIFUL YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED AT BIRTH. DROP AND GIVE ME FORTY. AND YOU, YOU MUSCLE BOUND, MEAT HEADED, CRO-MAGNON THROWBACK….     How do you do, my names Heidi and I’ve always wanted to do that but never thought I’d actually get away with it. Pleased to meet you.
A: I’m gonna kill you good…….
AB: (holding A back) Don’t do it sis, it’s not worth the Karmic debt man.
B: Funny, very funny. Actually, extremely funny. You had me going that’s for sure.
Heidi: Sorry about that but we O’s just work on a different level sometimes. I hope I didn’t offend anyone.
O: No, not at all.
A: Speak for yourself cro-magnon boy. Phew, all that exercise has built me up an appetite. Who’s for something to eat?
B: Great idea, maybe Heidi can get us started.
Heidi: Sure, what say we start off by first explaining what happens when you actually eat something. That way you’ll get a better idea of why some foods are better for your blood type than they are for someone else’s.
O: You’re the boss.
Heidi: To keep it brief, Blood type genetics not only influence the digestive juices and enzymes needed to efficiently metabolise food, they program the cellular characteristics of our entire digestive tract. It starts with chewing and the introduction of saliva (which contains glycoprotein sugars called mucins which help to moisten and lubricate the food). Dietary proteins (large molecules composed of long chains of amino acids) enter the stomach, where gastric juices (seemingly more prevalent in O’s than A’s for example) and the enzyme pepsin, break down the protein into intermediate sized chunks called polypeptides. These are then transported to the small intestine where pancreatic enzymes (trypsin, amylase and lipase) complete the protein breakdown into amino acids. These are then transported to the liver where bile salts break up the fats into tiny droplets (increasing their surface area so the enzymes can work more efficiently). Nutrients processed by the liver are absorbed into the bloodstream, while waste is sent to the large intestine for elimination. All along the way, your blood type is influencing the process. Are you still with me?
A: Yeh I got everything except for that part after “To keep it brief”.
AB: zzzzzzzzz   zzzzzzzzzz  zzzzzzzzzz
Heidi: Where did B go?
O: She left a half hour ago. This could be a lot harder than you first thought. Now you know what I have to put up with.
A: Don’t listen to him Heidi, he thinks he’s mister Type A personality himself. What say we sit down for a nice cuppa while you explain that digestive thing to me again.
Heidi: Sounds like a good idea, do you have green tea?
A: Nope.
Heidi: Organic cocoa perhaps?.
A: Nope.
Heidi: Water will be fine.
A: Can’t interest you in a scotch then?
Heidi: Er, not right now.
A: Damn, I could really have used one.

As the day drew to a close, Heidi laid out the basic food lists for the Bloody family to start them on their way to better health and well-being. They sat long into the night until finally farewelling her with a resounding rendition of “for she’s a jolly good fellow”. Heidi ran home as fast as her weary legs could carry her, but only after doing some pre-exercise stretches and limbering up of course.