Quoted from TJ

-snip-OSuzanna: Getting more antidepressants right now isn't realistic.  My most recent psychiatrist is in Raleigh, and costs $90 for 30 minutes.  I can't afford the fee or the drive, and I'm just gonna do without for now.  This was the first time I ever threw away my old meds--I had quite a pharmacy on-hand, but I will not make that mistake again.

You can simply call and ask for a refill.  No need for an office visit.  Of course, you'll have to pay for the meds....

Quoted from Amazone I.

may I recommend that you should augment your intake of aminoacids instead of those meds. I am sure you will have success whithin days and hours....

What do you suggest here?  Is there a certain kind of amino acid or blend I should take?

Quoted from Amazone I.

is that possible that in effect it isn't any depression but a thyroid problem??

Years ago when I first went through the big crash I talked about, my Dr. first suspected mononucleosis.  It wasn't, so next I had a full blood panel done.  My thyroid was fine, and everything else was within normal range too.

Bartleby (The Scrivener)
A scrivener is a person that makes copies, before typwriters, carbon paper, and of course copy machines.  Bartleby was quite good at what he did but the work and working environment pushed Bartleby to tuning out and shutting down.  Melville is placed in a group of writers collectively known as the transcendentalists.   This group of writers focused on the depersonalization of society as it moved through the 'great awakening' of industrial society at the turn of 19th century.

There are times that I feel the futility of doing in the workplace and at times feel like Bartleby just staring at a wall.  I have neither the will to do or to change my situation.  This is why I thought that the Bartleby story might help you in your work issues.

Meditation
I am not an expert here, but I routinely perform two types of meditation, focused and non-focused.  Focused meditation is is concentrating on something and thinkingabout its meaning.  Art, clouds, my breathing, a Bible passage are great for this type of meditation.  I focus on whatever the object is and exclude all other thoughts.  It is difficult for me to do even today.  Non-focused meditation is completely empty my thoughts for a period of time.  This is ever so much harder than focused meditation for me.

Quoted from 1750

Bartleby was quite good at what he did but the work and working environment pushed Bartleby to tuning out and shutting down....

There are times that I feel the futility of doing in the workplace and at times feel like Bartleby just staring at a wall.  I have neither the will to do or to change my situation.  This is why I thought that the Bartleby story might help you in your work issues.

Lol, I was so busy empathizing with the narrator's attempt to understand Bartleby that I didn't pick up on all that!  I certainly relate to the bolded segment above.

Wikipedia has an entry on meditation I skimmed over.  The mention of "walking meditation" interested me, but it gave no detailed information on this.  However, I did find this:

http://www.wildmind.org/walking/introduction

I believe I have been doing so form of meditation on my own for a long time now, but irregularly.  Self-awareness has always been important to me.  I am continually amazed at how easily people can get roped in by catchy advertising, but I am somehow unaffected by most of it (unless it's annoying, but that's not the kind of effect the advertiser is going for).  Therapy helped me understand the idea of "mindfulness", and why it is important: the whole idea of stepping back and examining the thoughts you are thinking, and challenging them if they are negative.  That was a good practice for me that I need to get back into doing habitually.  I've never before considered setting aside time for meditation, but I think it will be a good thing to do, especially when I'm feeling spread too thinly, it will help me reel myself back in.  

Hi Drive, Dr D says we are the emotional bunch in LR4YT I think!

He also suggests that important creativity aspect for B..


(edited for minimalism)

Quoted Text

"Theft by Deception": is that for real?  Even if it is, the IRS is a de facto law unto itself....

yes, this guy has his own theory and defends it no matter what!

he was even sent to jail, and all.
He s a real 'gladiator' of our age!

don t forget the power of visualization in Bs!
Blood Type B Basics: The Blood Type B Individualized Lifestyle.
http://www.4yourtype.com/Typeb_basic.asp
...............................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euXPJuoBIMY

So Lola, what say you on the "contaminated" walnuts and vitamins, should I throw them out, or do you think that little bit of corn is tolerable?

Also, I still haven't completely cut out refined sugars.  I don't put them on the same level of "avoid-ness" as corn, wheat, and chicken, but I am trying to use honey and molasses more and white/brown sugar less.

I would suggest go cold turkey.   To be unequivocal will support you a lot! It is bound to elevate your mood. You'll feel very clean and light. Close your eyes and do it!

given your nonnie status and susceptibility to avoids I d hand those over to a friend!
find avoid free substitutes eventually.

drive,

Allow me to suggest some books that have helped me a lot over the years.  I think you might get something good out of them:

1) "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden
2) "Narcissism: Denial of the True Self" by Alexander Lowen
3) "Running on Emptiness: The Pathology of Civilization" by John Zerzan
4) "Resilience" by Frederic Flach
5) "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
6) "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend

Finally, maybe this video clip might do something for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq9udFmsNO0&feature=related

Anyhow, that's my dead mouse on your doorstep... It's the best I have to give.  Meow.

4/5 has a big part of NT in them, they are the natural problem solvers' and just adore to do that with loads of intuition ).....but that might lead to biiig errors coz of lacks of knowledge......
that the issue might be harder to get solved   

Quoted from Amazone I.

4/5 has a big part of NT in them, they are the natural problem solvers' and just adore to do that with loads of intuition ).....but that might lead to biiig errors coz of lacks of knowledge......
that the issue might be harder to get solved   

Tomatilla, I'm at a loss regarding your post, are you still conversing with geekchic9 about the enneagram, or are you recommending it to me?  I'm sure I don't need yet another personality-classification system ATM, I have the Keirsey Temperaments/Meyers-Briggs Types, and I also use Glenn Foster's 4-type system.

[...which I highly recommend to anyone interested in personality.  His system defines personality based on response to rejection.  The book is called "How Can I Get Through To You?", and his four types are actually of more practical value to me than any other system I've read about, and he's not even a psychologist, but a police interrogator!  But his co-author is a psychologist. ]

Mekan is the infj   

Quoted from Victoria

Try and stick with the BTD to the very best of your ability.  Especially for us non-secretors, avoids can destroy not just our health, but also our mental and emotional well being.  Eat as high a percentage as possible of beneficials.

Another suggestion is to get some Bach Flower Remedy, the one called Wild Oat.  Get an empty 2 oz dropper bottle, fill it with filtered or spring water, and put in 3 or 4 drops of the Wild Oat remedy.  Squeeze it under your tongue or into your water bottle or glass.  Drink throughout the day.  It is a homeopathic remedy for helping us to see what our best direction is out of all the choices that are spinning around our heads.

Try and stay calm and realize that solutions will emerge.  Before you go to bed at night, think or write down a list of the things you would like to see happen, and how you would like your career life to look and feel, and what you would like to do.  Don't censor what you write.  This is just planting seeds of positive desires.  Try to stop focusing on what you have not been happy with.  Every night pull out your list, or bring it up on the computer and write about what you do want.  This is one way of clearing the air for yourself and finding out what you are really wanting.  Do this every day for a couple of weeks, or longer.  The practice will help you know yourself more.

Thank you for the reminder...

Quoted from 521

Allow me to suggest some books that have helped me a lot over the years.  I think you might get something good out of them:

1) "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden
2) "Narcissism: Denial of the True Self" by Alexander Lowen
3) "Running on Emptiness: The Pathology of Civilization" by John Zerzan
4) "Resilience" by Frederic Flach
5) "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
6) "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend

Finally, maybe this video clip might do something for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq9udFmsNO0&feature=related

Anyhow, that's my dead mouse on your doorstep... It's the best I have to give.  Meow.

looks like I'm gonna be warming a seat at one of the bookstores soon...

Ron, about the video clip.....
It s amazing just how slim and fit everyone looks!!
I believe this was around the time Kellogg's began!!
and then came everything else......
look at our society now!
obesity has won over!

Lola,

Yep.  Bad ideas ruin everything.

Quoted from Amazone I.

geekchic 9  may I ask you to read the *wisdom of the enneagram* of Don Richard Riso and then you see, that your guess might have been right when saying ENTJ...but what happens when 1/2 goes backwards....the desintegrative way, here  he/she goes to No 4 and that's infp/j.....often confounded with isfj/p which is a complete different type .....but ENTP has a part of no 9 in its pattern .......
much much easier all, as we think if you know how and what will happen....if .....
but the easiest for you might be, scroll in my pidgining-archive and read about it...I made a workout of seven different blogs about that thema  

I'm not sure which one of my posts you are referring to -- or are you discussing my blog? I actually do own Wisdom of the Enneagram -- it's my fave of the two enneagram books I own -- do you have any page numbers I can refer to in the book?

I am reading little bits at a time of "How To Make Work Work For The HSP", and this lady is right on.  On top of the book, a lot of my own thoughts and experiences have been coming together to give me an idea of what I need to do.  It is clear that I am not cut out for the 40-hr week, 8-to-5 grind, because I thrive in less structured environments and I crash and burn whenever I try to make myself work in one.

I recognize another error I have fallen into.  When I first started taking anti-depressants, I had the idea that I was going to be getting this "miracle pill" that would make everything normal.  The first one didn't work like that.  Neither did any of the others I tried.  I realized that I was just going to accept that there was no miracle pill, and that I shouldn't expect more than incremental improvements, and that I should be glad for them.  I wasn't totally acclimated to that idea yet, but I was digesting it at least.  Then came BTD, and with it, big big BIG improvements fairly quickly!  This sort of resurrected the old "miracle pill" mentality, which I applied to BTD.

Now I recognize, BTD is a good way to improve on myself, but it isn't going to make everything all right.  I'm never going to be able to deal with the typical kind of life and work that most people do, but that's ok, because I will find my own way to do things.  Now that I've accepted that idea, I think I can begin seeing real improvement and personal growth!

That's super, drive55! You have inspired me to read the HSP books again.

That is great drive55! The HSP books were an eye-opener for me as well  .

Quoted from Amazone I.

I am going to repeat myselve ....read the enneagram and then
you know what is really meant

I have already read the book, like I have previously said. WotE makes no mention of Myers-Briggs types, so your idea of 1/2 of my MBTI type splitting and disintegrating really doesn't make sense to me. Under stress, it would be the entire type going to its opposite: ISFP. But I didn't read that from a web site. I read that from a site called http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk.

I know I am not a P of any sort, because I need structure. I prefer it. A lack of structure makes me anxious.

But, no matter. I am beginning to think I am not really an ENTJ, but an ISTJ or an ESTJ -- at least at the moment. I'm a particularly open-minded S, as I realize new ideas are great since they eventually will have practical applications. However, I am not in love with ideas for ideas' sake. The E vs. I is more debatable, though. I feel like I'm an ambivert.

Quoted from 1879

I feel like I'm an ambivert.

Sounds like something I used to have. I fed it crickets.

The snow is on its way, I'm going to the bookstore to get an HSP book.

drive55 I am sorry I've had lost your question about the amino's ...sorry I am going to give a try right now:

as antidepressants are known: or phenylalanine & l'arginine, would go for 4x500 mg's, & inositol (anxietyreleaser). If that
won't work, you might go for sam-e.....4x200mg's daily, or
a form of aminoacids combination, there are some prepared from AB or puritan's pride as well, not expensive at all, they just offer some 70% ( I've just got the catalogue yesterday),
and of course one of the quickest is a plantbased product called 5 HTP.....this works greatly too what helps and is connectable with almost all natural and also chemical products is the famous Enada NADH, (it's also mentioned in the nerve health protocol!)(also the fatigue fighting protocol should be ok for you )
siberian ginseng is one of the finest as well and of course add some more magnesium, calms down a bit
Dr. M.Murray recommends also all the B-vits in higher amounts,
he gives similar advices but added also to 5HTP and as well the l'tyrosine + - eventually also GABA, but not that necessary....as the others. L'tyrosine is very important to get sluggish thyroides ok & kelp with an amount of iodine in,
often depressions are confounded with sluggish thyroide....and false meds. are given instead!!!
I observed that not only once in my own praxis, when I see the
results of my Vegatestings ....and yep at the end vit. C up from 3-4x daily 250 mg's also some fatty acids. I wouldn't recommend any kava-kava.....that's a bit a livershocker for some people and won't do the trick at all....but here I am guessing ......
hope it helps a bit, wish you all the best a very quick recovery time, feel huged from Switzerland