1) Adam, you are welcome on the fresh start thread, it isn't just for women (but most of us over there are OLD, lol).ABJoe pops in once in a while and I hope he finds us welcoming. In fact I miss seeing your posts Adam and I was wondering how you were. As far as I can tell, we vent a little bit over there, but we don't whine, not about men anyway.
I stay out of the Fresh Start thread because I view it as a place for the ladies on the board to get together and hash things out about the diet and the particulars about their lives. It is unfortunate that there are hardly any blood type A men on this board. I also feel like there is no support structure for men on this board in general. But, do the men really need support in keeping in line with the diet as much as women do? Again, we get back to the flawed concept of men need to "man-up" and be strong. This concept doesn't really work for me. I'm a pretty sensitive guy and just try to get through day-to-day and just try to "get along" as the old Teacher saying goes in the GTD.
As for me in my personal life, I finally got divorced last month after a year's separation. I've been through many emotions over the past year:
- ecstatic that I was finally free to eat and cook how I wanted - loving having a place of my own to keep neat and clean, not dirty and messy as the old house was - sad and depressed from being alone - missing my family dearly as I wasn't around them daily anymore - thinking every day that I should go back to my wife - finally meeting her to talk about that, she not wanting me back, and having to accept that rejection in my mind and my heart - my kids barely calling and when they do they usually ask for something, usually money - going compliant on my SWAMI and then dropping it completely and eating whatever I wanted, then paying for it dearly, and repeating this cycle over and over again - then telling myself "you moved out so you could cook and eat compliant"..."and you can't even stay compliant, wow, what a failure you are!"
It has been a long lonely road, but I move forward. Currently 100% compliant, watching my allowed servings on my SWAMI (which reduced recently last time I ran it, which makes more sense now).
My #1 goal now is to lose the weight. Topped out at 253 lbs. Ridiculous! I can barely walk now. It is absolutely necessary now that I drop the weight. My ideal weight is 185. I'm carrying around a 65 pound weight all the time, no wonder I can barely get around.
My #2 goal is wellness, both physically and emotionally/spiritually.
And so long as I follow my SWAMI, watching my portions, #1 goal will happen and #2 will be the side benefit of that.
I think support, both needing and giving it, isn't gender specific. I'm sorry to read you feel that there's less of a support structure for men on these boards, Adam.
What you've been through is very tough; even though there are positive sides to the new situation, I can clearly see the pain you also feel, regarding your children, for example. It must be hard for you.
You've set yourself two goals, and I wish you all the best in achieving them. Even though I'm a woman, and can't offer man-specific support, I'd still like you to know that I'm here to support you in getting better. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who feels that way.
Adam, I realize that it isn't an easy road when no one around you understands or sympathizes with the struggles you are going through. I also realize, however, that this is no excuse to throw in the towel and quit what's working, even if it is slow progress. I know I am very fortunate to have a caring, supportive wife, a practitioner that understands the struggles I'm going through and can help get me back on track, if needed, and some friends who are uplifting, even though they may not know the extent of the struggles, etc... This is why I spend so much time on this forum providing answers, the best I know how, to people asking questions. I try to fit some compassion around the tough and may take the tough too far sometimes, but it is the only way I know to get the job done. If I don't take care of myself, who will?
This whole lifestyle, and life in general, is, "What can I do at the next bite (or step) to get me to my goal?". This is the way I approach life, and frankly, the way I try to motivate others to take control of theirs, as well.
Adam, I am impressed by your resolve! I am sorry for the pain you've endured but want to encourage the positive for you. Your goals are great and I know we all absolutely support that. I will learn from you...(I procrastinate too often and need reminders of the goals I have. ) Please don't apologize for being sensitive..... "real men" need that! It doesn't take away any masculinity. Hoping for uplifting, caring people to come into your life and that your children realize what they are missing. I admire you for making a stand and living the way that is no longer toxic for you!
Ao ISFJ Taster Rh+
"God gave us the gift of life. It is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Voltaire "Whisper words of wisdom. Let it be." Sir Paul McCartney
Concealed Carry Gatherer! SWAMI Explorer Blend Kyosha Nim
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Adam & Winner: Yes, the BTD family is supportive & here for you, so feel free to ask questions & share your opinions & experiences!
Interested in nutrition, lactation, religion, politics; love to be around people; talkative, sensitive, goofy; a "fishy Christian" ><>; left-handed; lived on a farm, small town & big city; love BTD/GTD; A staunch La Leche League veteran; b. 10/1947 Check BTD/GTD on facebook!