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O and Anger  This thread currently has 3,921 views. Print Print Thread
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gardengirl
Tuesday, April 17, 2012, 12:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Autumn: Harvest, success.
Posts: 250
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Looks like I need a good bowel movement....
Absolutely furious today and let it out in front of my kids (directed at husband) and my son asked, very concerned "What's wrong mom?" I told him I dropped something and went to my room until my husband left for the day. I am taking my two year old and dog for a good walk - hope it doesn't rain.
It was something small too but it made me feel like I am the housekeeper and I couldn't contain myself.
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pipnjohn
Thursday, April 19, 2012, 11:53pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

ENTP/ISTJ/45YRS married
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 369
Gender: Male
Location: New Zealand     South Island
Age: 74
Quoted from san j
An O friend and I were talking today about O anger, and I repeated something I'd told her a good 10 years ago: That many Os do well to work out hard, to a good sweat, in the morning, so as to find their mood more even throughout the ensuing day.

She said "Wow" as if she'd never heard that before. She hadn't remembered I'd told her that (more than once). It seems now is the time in her life when she's ready for it - There are problems that urgently need to be fixed, and her angry reactivity is one of them.

This question is for you Os and for those who are involved with Os (And who isn't?  )
Do you have "fits" of anger, expressions of rage, contempt, criticalness, irritability, that feel good/exhilarating to you to express, but for which you're remorseful because ashamed afterward?
How do you successfully deal with anger?
Has Dr. D'Adamo's work helped you with your mood(s)?
Is there a specific remedy for you? And does it involve intense physical exertion?
Thanks for your input!  


All of the above, the greatest cure for these attributes is AGE and the associated wisdom accumulated by experience over time!

If you want to experience your full life quota (3 score and 10 for men), then you just have to learn to manage it!

I am now into my "bonus" years (73) I have only just come to terms with being an "O", ... Sigh!    


 
 Would that God the gift to give us
 to see our selves as others see us.   Robbie Burns  
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Goldie
Friday, April 20, 2012, 7:56am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
Quoted Text
It was something small too but it made me feel like I am the housekeeper and I couldn't contain myself.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEcEyNaV8lI


Quoted Text
I am now into my "bonus" years (73) I have only just come to terms with being an "O", ... Sigh!
  

I agree age and distance helps to care a lot less.  Training like 'cops' who 'have' to keep their 'cool' all day ... would maybe help.. but where is such training? for my inner 5 year old???

( I just admitted to my own mind that I often feel POWERLESS (age will do that) and I have NO one to REVENGE against.. OH the POOR dog! Dogs are soooooo loyal, and they love us just for breathing.


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!

Revision History (1 edits)
Goldie  -  Friday, April 20, 2012, 8:25am
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Goldie
Friday, April 20, 2012, 8:26am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
what is anger?  

All anger is about small things.  It is never about the things that really matter.. It's the silent or loud disapproval, the taking for granted all the little things, and all the unspoken of things we do, over which mayor anger develops.

ANGER on the other hand is a reaction "chosen" to be felt.  I KNOW IT DOES not feel so.. but think of it this way:  IF you drive down the road and a kid throws a rock at your car, you become angry, stop and maybe yell at the kid .... or in the least, make the parents pay for the damage..so that they will yell at the kid of lets say 10.... By the time you get back to the kid= he is talking a mile a minute explaining over and over that : I am sorry but please help, my brother fell of the shed roof and there is no one I can call for help.  How long would you be mad.?.

also, when mad as hell..: as soon as the phone rings, you say: Hi how are you... in your sweetest tone..

Reactions are chosen.. It is maybe better to think of : this is the last time I am 'playing' with this or that: I wish to have a family meeting on Friday.  Or a husband and wife meting tonight after dinner.

As we get closer to 42 as a benchmark, we assert our self more and become finally able to say: NO MORE! It is a thing that happens slowly, but it happens and sooner or later that moment comes along when standing UP, standing TALL, becomes the only option.  

In a parenting class they thought me that if the other person made you slightly upset 'they' are looking for attention, if they upset you to feel abused then 'they' are looking for power.  If they made you upset to feel self pity (often not recognized) then 'they' are looking for revenge and finally ; If they make you feel like they leave you no choice then 'they' are feeling hopeless/depressed.  
IN REVERSE this also shows you:  where you where in that moment.

In each case bad reactions will do nothing, unless you can get to where you talk with a list in hand..or post it on the fridge...   MAYBE best done after a compliant calming meal.    I wonder if ice cream is liked for just the reason that it feels forgiving, is festive, short lived, sweet and full of carbs of why we like it???? ..   (sometime just need it?)  

I wish I was thought better HOW to deal with my anger... I always feel that "I am left- holding the bag to fix it- and I have NO clue HOW!  I am doing the best I can- what am I supposed to do? more? more of what?  tell me!

BUT there are no answers coming... and in that, I am angry all over again.. and throwing things only makes me having to clean it up. Not worth it.     I feel for everyone who gets angry!  I feel it.

When I am angry my dog knows it and most often does not enjoy the walk.. I stomp even when I don't intend to.. I 'think' one way I could feel some 'justice' is by taking a tennis racket and smash a ball so far that only the dog can retrieve it.. my luck I would aim it at a window .. !

What do you do any of you DO when YOU are angry?     


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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Goldie
Friday, April 20, 2012, 8:49am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
antidote to anger:  Sorry for 3 posts.. on the subject.. I am meandering.. while getting rid of my headache..  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEcEyNaV8lI



Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!

Revision History (1 edits)
Goldie  -  Friday, April 20, 2012, 9:17am
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deblynn3
Friday, April 20, 2012, 3:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

GT2 Gatherer rh+;Prop-Taster
Ee Dan
Posts: 2,462
Gender: Female
Location: Arkansas
Age: 57
Quoted from san j

This question is for you Os and for those who are involved with Os (And who isn't?  )
Do you have "fits" of anger, expressions of rage, contempt, criticalness, irritability, that feel good/exhilarating to you to express, but for which you're remorseful because ashamed afterward?
How do you successfully deal with anger?
Has Dr. D'Adamo's work helped you with your mood(s)?
Is there a specific remedy for you? And does it involve intense physical exertion?
Thanks for your input!  


I go into the woods, or someplace alone. I have a good word fight, with that person (even though they aren't there). Then I talk out a solution with myself.  I can usually find answers after I've let off the bad energy.  Sometimes exercise works but that depends on the problem. I'm sorry to say I've can easily cut off a relationship with someone. I see no reason to let a "personality" issue upset my life.


Swami, 100% me..
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Goldie
Friday, April 20, 2012, 3:47pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
Disagreements should never disqualify someone’s contributions, to ones life..

I think this would be a good thing to look at.. Would it change the way we react if we could think of this at all times?  I wonder?

deblynn3 yes talking it out alone might sometimes help.. so long as it does not continue forever.. creating circular thinking.

I recently really allowed ME to go all out of whack, with a friend, about life in general and I think I found peace in that.. But this can not happen to often unless it would be in a specific TYPE (trained) co-counseling session, or it would be abusive to the listening person.  But I think it helped me to get rid of some circular words in my head ..


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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deblynn3
Friday, April 20, 2012, 4:19pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

GT2 Gatherer rh+;Prop-Taster
Ee Dan
Posts: 2,462
Gender: Female
Location: Arkansas
Age: 57
I find talking it out with myself helps me to "see" the other person. I have to play their part.

I've reached a point in my life that other than my daughter and husband I don't need to make concessions, that isn't to say I don't make concessions for others, I just don't need to.

One thing I've learned about relationships with others. If you don't like yourself you can't like others. If you can be happy alone with yourself, you can be happy with others. (and often with very difficult people at that.)


Swami, 100% me..
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Nadira
Tuesday, April 24, 2012, 2:26am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Sugar sensitive, hypothyroid, postmenopausal, ADD
Summer: Realization, expansion.
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Age: 64
Quoted Text
Peaceful resignation and acceptance without the drama! nice.. and if I need to deal with it later in life, then distance will have built a barrier so it will never hurt as much as it could have..


I've forgotten who wrote this, but it helped with a situation that happened yesterday, and helped me make a decision today.
Thanks,
Nadira
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Sahara
Tuesday, April 24, 2012, 3:39pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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There really is a lot of anger in this world, especially against those of us who are naturally thin.  The assumptions people make, wow.  Blood type Os everywhere need to change their diet and exercise more though honestly the aggression is hard to control.
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Goldie
Tuesday, April 24, 2012, 3:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
I am in no way certain.. but youth and ones facial expressions and stance can make others feel like aggression or assertiveness is needed..

Someday keep a friendly face and or any face flip down the visor mirror in the car and look what you portray to the outside world.. I once did that and found I looked a lot more angry then greatly exited..  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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Goldie
Tuesday, April 24, 2012, 3:59pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
I am in no way certain.. but youth and ones facial expressions and stance can make others feel like aggression or assertiveness is needed..

Someday keep a friendly face and or any face flip down the visor mirror in the car and look what you portray to the outside world.. I once did that and found I looked a lot more angry then greatly exited..  

and Virgos have that 'demandingness' in their sun sign.. even when not so intentioned it can come across as harsh and superior..


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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paul clucas
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 12:16am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Swami-fied Explorer! INTP
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 1,768
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Peninsula, On
Age: 47
Peaceful music is a great stress reliever, of course.

The irony I enjoy is that angry music helps me become calm - after my immediate reaction to the music has passed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDFFHaz9GsY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....WL68sPAkvAlePlnagZde

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqaARDsiJv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0bcRCCg01I


My weight loss goal: 220 lbs.  A 6'4" dyslexic oddball: the size of a line-backer, the silhouette of Winnie-the-Pooh.
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Goldie
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 8:05am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
http://www.viewspot.com/brucelipton

Paul .. Yes quantum mechanics of sound works that way.  We absorb what we need.  I work with (near silent) healing sound waves and see miracles of change all the time.. especially when nothing else works.  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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Goldie
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 5:28pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
Ok .. I am back to ANGER.. I have another friend who is deciding to pick a fight.. I am tired of even listening to the litany of whatever.. I wish to drop this friendship.. It is time.. move on and walk away, never looking back.. but I have no way of doing it without pain.. mine or hers..
she is ill and that pushes all my buttons..

I am going to listen to all the sounds by PAUL above.. and listen all afternoon clearing out my cobwebs..

Thanks for posting the links.. yes loud and sensuous.. powerful I love them and more..   thanks

===================

I have been listening and love every note.. powerful and just what I needed today.. How is it that all the pieces play without interruption?? I have never experienced that ... thanks.. lovely..

as for friendships some should just be done with.. like April 25. done, fished, and over.. just finished like a bowl of soup.. I am working on such a one today.. The music is perfection it self..  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!

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Goldie  -  Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 6:54pm
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Amazone I.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 5:45pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Rh+ GT 4...E/..INTJ ....prop.=non-taster..
Kyosha Nim
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Paul thanx for sharing but this musique is too dramatic for my gousto .... ....


MIfHI K-174
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Goldie
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 9:52pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
WOW.. hours of uninterupted music.. I love it.  I have never been able to view or listen to videos in this fashion.. Thanks Paul..  I can tell you that I needed that!!!


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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Kibble
Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 10:14pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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So if someone is threatening you ask them their blood type and if the answer is O start running so they can chase you and the exercise will clear the angry stuff from their body and they will calm down and everything will be ok.  Just be sure you can run faster?
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paul clucas
Thursday, April 26, 2012, 6:20am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Swami-fied Explorer! INTP
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 1,768
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Peninsula, On
Age: 47
Quoted from Goldie
WOW.. hours of uninterupted music.. I love it.  I have never been able to view or listen to videos in this fashion.. Thanks Paul..  I can tell you that I needed that!!!
It is great you have found something new that works for you.

"Life without music is a mistake."  - Just about the only thing that Nietzche and I agree upon.


My weight loss goal: 220 lbs.  A 6'4" dyslexic oddball: the size of a line-backer, the silhouette of Winnie-the-Pooh.
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Goldie
Thursday, April 26, 2012, 12:14pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,836
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
OK back to anger in O.....

I have about three times a year reasons to be angry..     and about 2 years ago I asked my doctor to give me something for such occasions.. he did.. Propranalol..  I have since taken it three- four times - one pill each, month apart is all I needed.. but even yesterday getting over a great hurt and pain of the emotional kind was so much easier to deal with.   I feel refreshed, clear of mind and can not imagine even how I would be going in circles.. without that little pill.  

just sharing.. maybe sometime we really could use some 'help'..

I am feeling clear!  even as the 'situation' is still whatever..  it is.. Its as if the anger, hurt, pain did not ADHERE to my synopsis' in the brain..  

I think I just found something that would confiorm that NOT connecting to the ORGAN part of my brain.. happy reading..

http://learninggnm.com/documents/firstlaw.html


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!

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Goldie  -  Thursday, April 26, 2012, 1:11pm
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