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Memory garden for Sarah  This thread currently has 8,541 views. Print Print Thread
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Dr. D
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 10:11am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Peter D'Adamo
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Hey Edna,

You could have just converted them from .tif to .jpg.

There's even freeware programs that you can download that allow you to batch-do this.


A whole system is a living system is a learning system.’ -Stewart Brand
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Peppermint Twist
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 3:40pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Well, here are the photos of the memory garden I created in Sarah's honor.  The one of the dedication sign did not come out readable in the scanned version (it is on the original photo), so here is what the sign says.  I should have included the word "brave", but there isn't enough room on all the signs in the world to include everything that Sarah was.  I should have included "brave", though.  Anyway, what the sign says is:

"This garden is dedicated to the memory of Sarah Blakeney:  mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and all around caring, plucky gal."

Sarah was such an extraordinary person and friend to me, and I created the garden as not only a way to honor her, but selfishly as a way to process my own grief into something creative and beautiful.  I would recommend gardening to anyone going through anything at any time.  There is something about it, about the doing of it.  Anyway, here are the pics (I hope!  If this link somehow doesn't work, I shall have to fling myself headlong into a vat of bubbling GMO corn syrup!).  Please note:  Click on any "thumbnail" to be taken to a full-size view of the photo.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/kaleidoscopeiyz/album?.dir=/6cdf


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Dr. D
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 4:31pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Peter D'Adamo
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Nice, Edna. I'm sure she's loving it.


A whole system is a living system is a learning system.’ -Stewart Brand
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cindyt
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 4:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Edna, this is such a beautiful way to remember Sarah.
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Kristin
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 5:02pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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What a beautiful garden/sanctuary you created in Sarah's memory. And I also know what hard work it is to landscape.

Thanks for sharing it with us...  it is gorgeous.



The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

- Nelson Henderson
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u2dan
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 5:21pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Aww car that is one of the prettiest gardens i have seen...i love it
and ember too yay
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Jane
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 5:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Kyosha Nim
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Edna,
It's just beautiful.  It's just the perfect thing to remember Sarah by.  I know it was a true labor of love on your part and that makes it even more special.
Sarah is smiling down on you.  I just know it.
((((HUGS)))))
Jane
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Brighid45
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 6:47pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

INFJ
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Edna, Sarah's garden is gorgeous. It's obvious you worked so hard on everything, and the love and memories you put in along with the flowers and bushes really shows. Sarah is honored to have such a lovely spot named in her honor. Good work, twinnie. **HUG**

Loved the shots of J and Ember too!


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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Peppermint Twist
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:00pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Quoted from Dr. D
Nice, Edna. I'm sure she's loving it.


Thank you, Dr. D.  I hope so.

Thanks Cindy, Kristin, u2dan and Jane, too.   I'm glad you think it is nice.

There is more I wish to do to/with it, but a garden is an ongoing process.  I need to mulch the paths and make an outside border around the whole thing to better define it, for one.  And a few things have already been changed since some of the photos were taken.  But you certainly get the gist from those 22 photos, huh?  Whew.

I think creating this garden really helped me at the time, I mean, I really threw myself into it.  I think it is good to have something to throw yourself into at a time like that, be it your religious rituals, or something like creating a garden.  We tell ourselves we are doing these things to honor and remember the person who has passed away, and we are, but it is also to help us process it ourselves.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Brighid45
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:09pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

INFJ
Kyosha Nim
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Exactly--and what better way to honor someone's memory than with a beautiful garden, which will live on for other generations to enjoy as well. Nicely done, Car.


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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Peppermint Twist
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:25pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
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Quoted from Brighid45
Edna, Sarah's garden is gorgeous. It's obvious you worked so hard on everything, and the love and memories you put in along with the flowers and bushes really shows. Sarah is honored to have such a lovely spot named in her honor. Good work, twinnie. **HUG**

Loved the shots of J and Ember too!


See what you went and did, Twin-o-mine? I knew someone would post somehow just WHILE I was thanking people and thus their post would be left there above mine, unthanked and forlorn. So: Thank you for your warm words!

And again, I heartily recommend gardening to anyone who is sad or grieving about anything. It is very life-affirming and it is one of those things that it is impossible to be totally sad while doing, like listening to the banjo (Steve Martin had a great comedy routine about just that fact back in the day, about how it is impossible to be depressed while listening to the banjo *lol*) or watching a baseball game (although one CAN be depressed about the actual game itself, but that is different:  it gets you outside of yourself, and that's the point).

I've never been a crier but for me, somehow, some kinda way, when Sarah died, it was like the floodgates opened. I just cried and cried and CRIED and I think it was good. But since doing the garden, I seem to be done crying now, and I think that is good, too. For everything (turn, turn, turn), there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time for every purpose under heaven.

Meanwhile, a co-worker of mine whom Sarah once referred to in her wonderfully politically incorrect, irreverent, DIRECT way as "the old bat" just informed me that one tree in the pics is a junk tree, which I knew, but she informs me that, if I don't chop 'er down ASAP, it will somehow ruin my entire house with its roots eventually. Well, I know it's a junk tree and, believe me, I have thought of chopping that tree down (at this point, I could do it myself) but it is perfect for hanging one end of my clothesline on *lol*. But she probably will go next time (not this year, but next spring, so spring of 2006) I get my trees professionally trimmed out. Just had it done before the horrendous hurricane season of 2004 and I've never been so glad I did anything before--whew, Nellie. So it won't be for a while, but when it happens, I'll tell the guy(s), please be exquisitely careful of the garden surrounding this tree--the heck with the house, if it falls on it, it falls on it, but the garden and rocks MUST be protected *lol*!


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Revision History (2 edits)
Edna  -  Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:29pm
Edna  -  Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:27pm
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Brighid45
Thursday, April 28, 2005, 7:32pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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She's a junk co-worker to point out the one slightly negative thing in the whole picture. Someone should uproot HER and cart her off. Bah.


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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Lola
Friday, April 29, 2005, 12:31am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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wonderfull colors!!
now all we need is a picture of the artist and her work of art!!! ))


''Just follow the book, don't look for magic fixes to get you off the hook. Do the work.'' Dr.D.'98
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Betul Ozmen
Friday, April 29, 2005, 7:49am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Hi Edna,

What a beautiful garden of all colors. How a wonderful idea of honoring Sarah with such a "living thing"  that will refresh other people's minds and souls as well.

I'm sure Sarah is aware of the process. And I'm sure she is wise enough to admit that you are not doing this for her only, but for yourself as well, since you need this.

Please do go on the process. And let Sarah live by this lovely garden.

Betul
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Dr. D
Friday, April 29, 2005, 12:18pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Peter D'Adamo
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You should add the link for the pictures to your signature.


A whole system is a living system is a learning system.’ -Stewart Brand
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Peppermint Twist
Friday, April 29, 2005, 12:52pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from admin
You should add the link for the pictures to your signature.


Okay, done!  



"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Brighid45
Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:41pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Btw--Dr. D had suggested freeware to convert .tif files to .jpg. You might want to look at http://www.download.com. Plenty of freeware there and no adware or spybots.


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison

Revision History (1 edits)
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:42pm
corrected the link addy because I can't spell today
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Peppermint Twist
Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:54pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Quoted from Brighid45
Btw--Dr. D had suggested freeware to convert .tif files to .jpg. You might want to look at http://www.download.com. Plenty of freeware there and no adware or spybots.


I wondered at the time if there wasn't just some easy way to convert tifs to jpgs, BUT the thing is, being at work, I am loathe to download ANYTHING, I'm so paranoid. They really don't like us downloading anything. People have gotten us all sent scary e-mails from on-high by downloading goodness-knows-what, so now it is to the point that were are not to download anything. They even have it set up so that you can't see any java graphics or anything in java because somehow it is "insecure". I've tried changing my internet java options and security settings, etc., all around, to no avail, so now I'm resigned to not being able to see a lot of things on a lot of sites (including my FAVE site...now which would that be? ), which is a pain because we need to go to certain sites in the course of our jobs--rarely, but we do--and it'd be nice to see them in their totality, but anyhoo...scared to download any freeware, that's the bottom line there.

Dilbert, OUT!

P.S. Speaking of Dilbert, that got me thinking of that ad for something, I dunno what, some travel thing or airline or somethin', wherein the employee in a cubicle clicks on something (a banner or something) that triggers a virus which sends some sort of LOUD message to everyone at the company she works at that pops up and says something like "Congratulations! You have triggered the Something-or-Other Virus! Your whole company is now being infected--brahahahahaHA!" and then the employee kinda slinks down in her cubicle and the ad narrator says "Wanna get away?" ! That is what I fear would happen if I downloaded any freeware! Even without "spybots" or "adware", THEY (i.e., the powers that be here) would still somehow know if I downloaded something and I'm just paranoid.  Having the net open all the time is one thing, downloading stuff is another.  I don't want to push the envelope, ya know?


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

my Facebook page

Revision History (2 edits)
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:58pm
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:58pm
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Brighid45
Friday, April 29, 2005, 1:59pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

INFJ
Kyosha Nim
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Shame on your company for being too cheap to get decent anti-virus software and not upgrading their compys to handle java. I mean come ON.

Oh well. At my previous job we were the only call center in the group to still use everyone else's hand-me-downs, from chairs to computers. I swear we had chisels hanging next to the screens.

Nice to see the link for your garden album in your signature, twinnie!


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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Peppermint Twist
Friday, April 29, 2005, 2:05pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Age: 53
Quoted from Brighid45
Shame on your company for being too cheap to get decent anti-virus software and not upgrading their compys to handle java. I mean come ON.

Oh well. At my previous job we were the only call center in the group to still use everyone else's hand-me-downs, from chairs to computers. I swear we had chisels hanging next to the screens.

Nice to see the link for your garden album in your signature, twinnie!


Oh no, actually, they have really good anti-virus software and a firewall and everything, AND I gotta say, they do keep us outfitted with the very latest hardware, too, although a large, flat, LCD screen would not go unappreciated here, but I digress--they recently got me a new CHAIR, which was the nicest thing any company I've ever worked for has done for me--that was my own boss of our department doing that, nothing to do with IS (the computer department), and it was very nice of them, as with my back challenge, I really need good lumbar support. I was allowed to pick out the chair I want and everything. Previously, I had this rickety thing and I literally had a cushion that I attached for lumber support and I had it attached with the gauze-like stuff they use to wrap donor's arms with after a blood donation *lol*!!!!!!!!! "The old bat" called it my "contraption", as in "you should ask them to order you a chair and get rid of that contraption!" Well, I finally did and they did and I think they ROCK for getting me a decent chair--wu HU. Actually, my previous boss here (who is now the BIG boss of my nuBoss in her old job--try to keep up, peeps) did offer to get me a chair back in, like, 2000, when I was pre-Dr. Rod (my chiro) and walked around like Quasi Moto, could barely stand up or sit down, and had a huge bottle of Ibuprofen on my desk which I was, at that point, popping like candy. I said, oh no, that would be too expensive, I can't ask you to do that for little old me. Well, now I'm older and wiser. Like Kathy Bates in "Fried Green Tomatoes", in the parking lot scene, . I'm way more assertive than I used to be even a few years ago. Well...sorta.

But the java thing is a mystery. Still, they are pretty lenient and cool about people going on the net, so I don't ask too many questions, ya know? I have tried going into all sorts of advanced options in the net tools and nothing that I enable or disable seems to do a dern thing about it, so the heck with it, red x's and just plain invisible stuff it is. As long as I can get to this site at all and hang with my buds, I'm cool.



"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

my Facebook page

Revision History (4 edits)
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 2:11pm
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 2:11pm
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 2:09pm
Edna  -  Friday, April 29, 2005, 2:08pm
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Devora
Wednesday, May 4, 2005, 6:09am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Edna,

As I was looking though the pictures, I thought, "And where are the shots WITH EDNA IN THEM???"  but then I said, "Oh, but she must have been alone while photographing, thus, she has an excues..." Until, you showed your friend!!!!  AH HA!  You could have easily had her snap a shot of your gardening!!!  Boo Hoo Hoo!

When we room together at the 2007 conference, then I will snap all the shots I want.  Who wants to room with my mother-in-law? (Maybe Tom Greenfield?)


Devora
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Betul Ozmen
Wednesday, May 4, 2005, 1:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Oh yes, Edna, please...
Please put a photo of yours as well. How nice it would be if there were a place where we BTDers put photos of own.

Love,
Betul
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Peppermint Twist
Thursday, June 16, 2005, 6:13pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Thank you to whoever made this thread "sticky". I think of Sarah often and am glad her wonderful light is still remembered in our community. Now that she is gone, I've realized that I never had a friend like her before. They just don't come along every day or even every lifetime. Frankly, I can't understand WHY she cared about me and my ridiculous problems, et al., so much, when she had such overwhelming and awesome challenges going on in her own life. The more I reflect on it, the more amazed I am. I surely do miss her, and was so blessed to have her caring, listening, practical, no-holds-barred-way-of-communicating, accepting, understanding, loving, funny, politically incorrect, irreverent, smart, and did I already saying caring (yes, I did) presence in my life. Now that she is gone, I realize even more how special/extraordinary she was. It was nice to notice that this thread is now sticky, meaning that this community realizes it, too, and wants to remember. Thanks.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Peppermint Twist
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Gatherer; iNfj; BTD/GTD aficionado; lost 97 lbs
Kyosha Nim
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Pre-Autumn 2005 update:  As soon as the weather cools down a little more here in west central FL, I am going to get to work on the garden.  It has gone very wild and woolly on me.  I am going to do what I stupidly decided NOT to do originally and MULCH all the beds, to clearly define them from the "paths" as much as to keep the soil permeable to water underneath, etc.  That will occur AFTER I weed everything to a fare-thee-well.  It has been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hot for this entire loooooooooooooong summer to even begin to think of working in the garden.  It is all I can do to keep up with my necessary yard work such as mowing the yard (a weekly thing in the height of summer here, or biweekly, MAX), weeding between all the crotons in the front yard, the hollies and crotons in the front city-right-of-way (my anti-skateboarder boundary--ha!), the line of plants I have going the length of the lot, and the line I have along the rear, pruning all my prune-needing stuff, edging (by HAND, literally) the sidewalks, ETC.  I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out *lol*.  In the northern part of the country, gardeners get active in the spring.  Here in FL, I think it is natural to get active in the fall...which still isn't here yet!  But it is coming.  Things have cooled down from the intolerable level to a, to me, tolerable level.  But still not enough for me to pull gardening marathons or even minithons in Sarah's garden...yet.  We are almost there, though!

The great thing about where her garden is located on my property is that it is the most PRIVATE place and thus I don't have to interact with NEIGHBORS whilst doing my thing if'n I don't want to.

Anyway, so a whole lotta mulching is in the offing, and then I'm toying with "to border or not to border", as I'm thinking of putting stone borders around the outer border and some inner borders, to further set off the garden clearly from the surrounding yard and the internal paths...but I dunno.  It is easier to mow right up to the edge without stone borders.  And another trip to the second-hand-smoke-rife rock place is not appealing to me.  The rock place is hard core, man.  Smokers, no one to really help you, nowhere to park, no signs or prices on everything, I could go on.  It is the opposite of yuppified.  But they have the coolest rocks!

Finally, I wanted to say that I sprinkled my beloved cat's ashes in Sarah's garden.  I know that his spirit has left his physical remains, but they are still sacred to me as they housed him for 20 years and he participated in the world and interacted through them.  I'm glad they are in Sarah's garden.


"If you are on one of Dr. D's diets and it isn't joyful, you aren't doing it right." - moi

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Brighid45
Wednesday, September 14, 2005, 4:37pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

INFJ
Kyosha Nim
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I'm sure Sarah would enjoy sharing her garden with Ollie, and vice versa.


Everyone is entitled to his or her informed opinion. --H. Ellison
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