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The Bloody Family Vol 1  This thread currently has 26,054 views. Print Print Thread
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yaman
Monday, February 21, 2005, 2:26pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

GT1; MN
Sa Bon Nim
Administrator
Posts: 2,756
Gender: Male
Location: Antigoni Island, Istanbul-Turkey
Age: 60
Cocky,

I suspect he had another one of those ABOminable weekends

cheers,
Yaman


"You are never given a problem without the will power to solve it"
Richard Bach - Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
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RhodaMaria
Monday, February 21, 2005, 2:55pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Yes Yaman,

Azzap is soo desperately in need of his daily bloody 'bites' as a bloody O ,
AZ we ZAPped his juices...too much.....

I will send him the refreshing, energizing, wild, masculine Cool Water ‘ D'ADAMO as a token of our gratitude!!

Cocky  

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ISA-MANUELA
Monday, February 21, 2005, 6:45pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (sau-like- Cocky ) bingggg-biiingg -biiiinnggoooooooooooo

< t h e   b i g  s i l e n c e>

at the end of a bloody day.........  or as yaman mentioned AB-O-minable weak-endts? e
hšššššššššš


regards Isa

p.s.

ouuuaaa Cocky, I smell it... just came over me
he'll smash  your face ..... oooouuuu no-no not your face......

Revision History (1 edits)
ISA-MANUELA  -  Monday, February 21, 2005, 8:49pm
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azzap
Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 11:25am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
After racing around the house chasing the others, O decided that a bit of extra exercise was in order and so headed off to the gym. Some time later.

O: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhh, Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh
B: Oh no, donít tell me that A is on the turps AGAIN!.
A: Hey, I resent that, besides, Iím standing right beside you so it canít be me. That sounds like O.
AB: Hey man, what happened?
O: I was down at the gym and some of the gang decided to have a weight lifting competition andÖ..
A: (butts in) Yeh, thatíd be right, I suppose olí Mr ďA TypeĒ personality himself just couldnít resist the challenge and lifted way more than he could handle right?
O: No, I was on my way to the bench and tripped over the dumbbells and landed on my back.
A: Datís gotta hoit.
AB: Donít you go stressing there big brother, just make your way to the massage table and let the magic fingers of little AB do their work.
O: I also think I pulled a groin muscle.
AB: I ainít touchiní that one with a forty foot pole.
O: Just kidding man, letís do this thing.

As ABís expert hands worked the kinks out of Oís back, O was sent off into a blissful sleep, and was soon deep into dream land.

Superchick: (looking suspiciously like Cocky Van Hesteren) Well Decrepit Man, another master criminal has been put behind bars and now we can rest for a while.
Decrepit man: (looking definitely like O) Oh thank god for that. If I have to run another mile I think Iíll have a heart attack.
Super Hero Radio: calling Decrepit Man, calling Decrepit Man, come in Decrepit Man.
Decrepit Man: Canít they just call me DM for short. It sounds so much better.
Superchick: Superchick here, whatís the scoop base?
Super Hero Radio: The evil mastermind Twinkle Toes Tornado has just escaped from the Pen and is making a quick run for the state line. We want you to cut him off before he gets there.
Superchick: Weíre on it base. Over and Out. Címon Decrepit Man, weíve got a job to do.
Decrepit Man: I think I just pulled a hammy.
Superchick: Youíre such a kidder Decrepit Man. Letís get moving now.
Decrepit Man: Actually I think itís a calf.
Superchick: (hands on hips) Decrepit Man!
Decrepit Man: Yeh yeh, Iím coming. Gimme a break, lousy super hero league canít even afford to buy me a car. A blokeís gotta have rocks in his head to do this. Ohh my aching back.

All of a sudden O was awake and gathered all around him were the rest of the family.

O: What the?
AB: You were having a heavy dream man.
O: Yes I was. I was a super hero protecting the world and (looks at A) you were there, (looks at B) and you were there (looks at Cocky Van Hesteren) how the hell did you get here? (looks at postman) andÖwho the hell are you?
Postman: Postman!Ögot a package for a mister AB.
AB: Oh cool, itís my new meditation CD
Postman: Sign here please. (walks out with everyone looking kind of strangely at him wondering how he got into the house, then looking at Cocky and wondering how she got here all the way from Europe)
AB: Oh thanks man, Iíve been waiting for this for ages.
B: So whatís it all about?
AB: Itís the latest CD from meditation guru Ravi Chanderpaularanatungashivaramiharikrishna and itís all about how to encapsulate the universal breath and give love to your body and the entire world.
A: Sounds interesting!
AB: Yeh, and itís got a bonus track by Def Leppard called Armageddon Is Here.
B: Err, right.
AB: Yeh, that does sound kind of strange doesnít it?.Must of needed it for the sales.
A: So Cocky, to what do we owe the pleasure of your company?
Cocky: I was just in town and thought Iíd invade Oís dream.
A: Iíve only just met you, but I like you already. A cup of tea perhaps?
Cocky: Letís!

And so the day was filled with the delicate and yet sometimes painful strains of meditation music and heavy metal while Cocky regaled the Bloody family with tales of following the BTD in Europe and running the Stacktheme Europe operations. Soon a sore and tired O was once again in a deep sleepÖ..Decrepit Man, calling Decrepit Man.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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ISA-MANUELA
Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 12:38pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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ha-ha-haaaaaaaa:" a bonus track by... called Armageddon is here "

hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii must show this to Rebbele Meir hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

ouaa: hard attac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

decrepit= alters-schwach -hu-hu-hu-aaaaa


azzap once more thanks super
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RhodaMaria
Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 5:09pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Hi Azzap, Superchick here!!

Did not know I had that effect on Australian blokes!!  

Just loved your story..... Typical A cop, busybusybusy.....

Never had the dream to become a cop though... Always wanted to be an airhostess, but I found out (when I was young..) that I was afraid of flying....
Got over that, happily..

Well I am now a 'flying' nutritionist... More fun!!!

Thanks Azzap...

Cocky †




Revision History (1 edits)
ISA-MANUELA  -  Tuesday, February 22, 2005, 5:10pm
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azzap
Sunday, February 27, 2005, 11:07am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
AB: Hey guys, guys, check it out.
A: Whatís all the excitement for?
AB: The secretor test kits are here. Now we can find out what secretor status we are and further refine our diets if needed man.
B: Excellent. So how do we do this?
O: You just hock a loogie in to that tube there and send it away I guess.
A: Could you BE anymore descriptive?
O: Just cutting to the chase I guess.
A: Alright gang, letís get this happening and then weíll send our ďloogiesĒ off for analysis. I canít wait to get mine back.
B: Donít be so quick to wish for something A, it might come back with a result you donít want to see.
A: OK, touch wood, I never said what I just said I said. (shakes her head in confusion)
AB: That sounds like something I would say. By the way, just what is this secretor status malarky all about anyway. I still donít fully understand it.
O: Well, itís like this, everyone carries a blood type antigen on their blood cells, but most people (between 80 and 85 percent of the population) have blood type antigens that float around freely in their body secretions. These people are called secretors because they secrete their blood type antigens into their bodily fluids, such as saliva, mucus and sperm. If youíre a secretor you can learn your blood type from these other bodily fluids as well as from your blood. People who do not secrete their blood type antigens in other fluids besides blood are called non-secretors. Get it?
AB: Wow man, you sound like a regular educated medical type person. Pity I know you better than that.
B: Give it to the man AB.
AB: And so professor dude, just how is this a benefit or detriment to said member of the population?
O: Do you want me to smash your face in?
AB: Heavy man. Olí professor dude here, needs some more anger management sessions everyone.
O: To continue, because secretors have more places to put their blood type antigens, they have more blood type ďexpressionĒ in their bodies than non-secretors which can have a great influence on the characteristics of the immune system, and is associated with a wide variety of diseases and metabolic conditions.
A: Hey, It says exactly the same thing right here on pages 6 and 7 of the Live Right book.
O: Well duh, where do you think I got the information from.
A: Wow, youíve got a really good memory havenít you?
O: I like to think itís pretty good.
A: Well it canít be that good because if it was you would have actually remembered to put some pants on.
O looks down in terror and then realises that he has got pants on after all.
A: Ha ha got ya. Made you look you dirty chook.
O: And you are how old?. Expect it when youíre least expecting it.
B: You can make all the veiled threats against A that you likeÖ..no seriously, I mean itÖ..but tell me, just how is this secretor status going to effect us, food wise I mean.
O: Well, letís see, if you were to eat barracuda for example, and you were a secretor, this food would provoke an abnormal blood reaction. As a non-secretor, because there is no expression of the antigen in your digestive tract and other organs, the abnormal blood reaction doesnít occur, and so the food is now considered a neutral. Well, thatís how Iím reading the situation anyway.
B: So does that mean I can have ice cream if Iím one or the other?
AB: Nope, afraid not, looks like ice cream is out no matter what.
B: If you want me, Iíll be in my room.
AB: Wow man, she really takes the ďno ice creamĒ situation pretty hard eh?
A: Yeh, sheís such a wuss.
O: Well A, if youíre a non-secretor thereíll be no more sour cream on your nachos. In fact, thereíll be no nachos at all unless you make them from buckwheat or artichoke flour or something.
A: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
AB: Youíre really taking that well I can see.
O: And no popcorn for that matter.
A: (sticks fingers in ears) la la la la la la la la, Iím not listening, la la la la la la.
AB: Yeh that B is such a wuss alright (nudges A in the arm)
O: I wonder if Iím a non-secretor.
AB: Why do you say that?
O: Well, as you know Iíve had a number of urinary tract infections in my time, which is fairly unusual, and being a non-secretor gives you a higher susceptibility to this type of infection, especially if youíre an O.
AB: Hmmmm, maybe youíre right man.
O: But then again, just because someone is susceptible to something, or even genetically predisposed to something, it doesnít mean that the person has to actually have that problem. I mean, after all, we are all individuals, and as individuals we are responsible for our own bodies and minds and how we look after them, which means we have the choice to alter the course of our lives and in doing so can potentially negate a genetic or susceptible outcome.
AB: That sounds like something I would say.
O: And funnily enough, that doesnít make me feel worried.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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Melissa_J
Sunday, February 27, 2005, 6:21pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Hunter
Sa Bon Nim
Administrator & Blogger
Posts: 5,045
Gender: Female
Location: Utah, USA
Age: 39
Oooh, secretor tests.  The suspense builds...


Type O+ blogger, secretor afterall. Gluten intolerant. With two gluten intolerant sons:  A+ Secretor 10 yo (also fructose intolerant and slightly egg allergic), and  O- 7yo.
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azzap
Thursday, March 3, 2005, 12:10pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
The pale sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting ghostly reflections on the inside walls of the house. Dust particles swam through the air and the morning dew looked like sparkling diamonds. Peace was upon the house when suddenly:

Cheryl: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
O: (waking startled) what in the blue blazes was that?
B: (calling from her room) I donít know but itís coming this way.
As the family looked out their bedroom windows a woman dressed in cowboy hat and boots (and other clothes of course) was racing around the house, cracking a whip in what looked like a roundup.
Cheryl: Címon you olí lazy heads get yourselves out of bed now.
AB: Man, that ladyís really got some energy. Look, she just hog tied the dog.
Cheryl: (throwing hands in air) Tied.
A: Hmmm, 4 seconds, not bad. Iíll go let her in.
As A walks to the door the others get themselves together and gather in the living room. A walks back in with Cheryl.
A: Iíll put my hand up and ask the obvious question, who are you?
Cheryl: My nameís Cheryl Hendrix and Iím from the Acme courier company of Walla Walla Washington. Iím here to pick up your secretor test tubes.
B: Weíve already sent them away through the post. They are most probably at the post office now.
Cheryl: Hmmm, might have to get me down there and tie up that postman.
O: Somehow I think heíd like that.
Cheryl: Well, as my old grandpappy used to say, two hands on a toaster is better than one on the bread.
All the family look at each other in confusion.
Cheryl: Anyway, thatís not important right now, what is important is that the company gave a form that you have to fill out. Now where is it (shuffles through pockets), nope, thatís my lunch docket, hang on, here it is, nope thatís my ticket to the next TCU game, wait a minute, whatís thisÖ
(reads note) make sure the doctor sees Mr Johnsonís chart or heís going to die, hmmm, best be throwing that one away, hehe, that was for last week..ah here it is, just fill out the boxes here, here, here and here and thatíll keep the company clerks happy.
AB: But this is an order form for a marching competition man.
Cheryl: Well, as my great grandpappy used to say, If a jobís worth doing then you better leave your hat on.
O: Iím not sure I understand?
Cheryl: Thatís not important right now son, what is important is that we get those tubes back to the lab for analysis.
B: Like I said before, weíve already sent them via the post so thereís nothing to worry about, theyíre on their way.
Cheryl: Missy, we canít just trust these vital pieces of material to people who donít have the skills required for such a task. We have to do this personally. Can someone direct me to the post office?.
O: Well sure, just head into town and youíll see it in the main street. You canít miss it.
Cheryl: Well done son, and as my old great great grandpappy used to say, a piece of good information will keep you regular every day.
A: Do any of your relatives actually know what theyíre saying?
Cheryl: Surely do maam, but that ainít important right now, what is important is for me to catch that postman. Iíll be seeing ya.
As Cheryl left the house all the family walked to the windows to watch her racing around and cracking her whip.
B: Hey look, she just hog tied the cat.
A: Hmm, 3 seconds, thatís gotta be a record.
Cheryl: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa
O: Now why in the world would the company tell us to send the tubes away in the post and then send a courier anyway.
AB: Beats the chitlens out of me man but I know one thing for sure, all that hog tying has made me hungry for some viddles.
A: Since when did you start eating viddles?
AB: Well, as my old granpappy used to sayÖ.
All: Shutup.
AB: Heavy.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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ISA-MANUELA
Thursday, March 3, 2005, 2:47pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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  I just saw the picture comeing....  she just hog tied the cat  


ooouuuaaaa Azzapchen- great story.................ty dear ty

strangulation purrrr!!!! you see- you got her by her legs hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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azzap
Thursday, March 10, 2005, 10:59am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
B: So, how long do you think it will take until we get our secretor tests back?
O: I guess it depends on a number of factors really. For example, the time it takes to get to the post (with the assistance of Cheryl of course), the time it takes to get to the lab, whether there are other jobs at the lab that need to be done before ours, the testing procedures themselves, and then having the whole lot sent back. Why do you askÖB?Ö.B?. Now where did she go this time?
A: Sheís gone to her room to finish off the 1000 word crossword puzzle that sheís been working on for the last 3 weeks. Itís huge I tells ya.
O: So, what are you going to do today?
A: First, Iím going down to the clinic to organise a regular screening program for heart disease and cancer, and then Iím going to spend a bit of time practicing my guitar.
O: Well, Iíll make sure Iím not here when that happens.
AB: (walking into room) Ditto for me big brother.
A: Bite me. Soon youíll be bowing to the queen of melody.
O: (throwing up hands in mock adoration) All hail your A ness.
AB: (rolls on the floor laughing hysterically)
B: (walking out of bedroom) So whatís so funny?
AB: A ness aaahhhahahahahahahahahaha
B: Whatís wrong with him? (circling finger around ear)
O: Location joke sweetheart, you had to be there.
B: Whatever, Iím starving, has anyone thought about lunch?
O: Come to think of it, no, and Iím hungry too. Hey queen A, got anything planned for lunch?
A: It just so happens I have and if you are not careful youíll be getting none of it.
AB: Ah come on man, canít you take a joke?
A: I do every time I look at you.
AB: Touche.
A: I got a hankering for a barbecue earlier on so Iíve got out a nice piece of rump steak for O, a piece of monkfish for B, and Iím going to set up the wok on one of the plates and make up a nice stir fry for me and AB with tofu as the base and a heap of veggies to boot.
AB: Cool man, Iíll never question your queen-ship again.
A: Thought you might like that.
O: You know what I might do?, I might roast my veggies on the hot plate. After all, itís just like putting them in the oven. Except for the greens that is, I might use the wok after you A and do up some brocolli and collard greens, and letís not forget some barbecued onion and garlic.
B: Hmmmm, all this barbecuing is making me a bit worried about the carcinogens and polyamines.
AB: The poly what now?
B: Polyamines. Polyamines are proteins that are present in low concentrations in all human, animal and plant cells. The bodyís organs require them for growth, renewal and metabolism. Too many of them however can cause the immune system to suffer by slowing it down, and not enough of them can cause the digestive system to suffer because it takes them from other vital areas of the body for itís own repair purposes.
O: So whatís that got to do with barbecuing?
B: Well, most probably not a lot really itís just that when living tissue is shocked, or dies, the bacteria and enzymes in the food convert many of the protein fragments into polyamines, and looking at the barbecue just made me think about what has happened to the food before we got it.
A: Well donít you worry about that sis because olí A has thought of everything (as usual). To help reduce that polyamine effect Iíve got some nice plums for O, some kiwi fruit for AB, some pawpaw for you and some cranberries for me. Weíll have that for dessert.
O: I thought it wasnít a good idea to have fruit after youíve eaten. It can cause fermentation.
A: And right you are old cro magnon brother of mine. Thatís why weíre going to wait at least an hour until we have it, maybe even two. By then youíll most probably looking for a little snack.
B: Well, youíve got it all worked out havenít you?. Such an organiser you are.
A: I can only be the A that I am.
AB: All hail youíre A ness, all hail youíre A ness.
B: aaaaahhhahahahahahahahahaha, I think I just landed on location.
A: Bite me.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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ISA-MANUELA
Thursday, March 10, 2005, 1:38pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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ooo-oooo fine to be back Azzapchen-I just was afraid in no more readings .....   ?!
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Debra+
Thursday, March 10, 2005, 2:02pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Eat BTD...Healthy Body... Happier Soul 'Gatherer'
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 5,812
Gender: Female
Location: Kirkland Lake, Northern Ontario, Canada
Age: 57
Ah yes azzap, sooooo nice to see you on here once again. †Like Isa, I thought you were not coming back. †Great to see you on the bloody track again. †

Debra

P. S. †Another page in the bloody story book. †


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." C.G. Jung"

O+nonT

CBP (Certified BodyTalk Practitioner)
Mindscape (remote/distant healing)
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Accunect Practitioner...in training to teach Self-Care

Revision History (2 edits)
ISA-MANUELA  -  Thursday, March 10, 2005, 2:04pm
ISA-MANUELA  -  Thursday, March 10, 2005, 2:04pm
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azzap
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 10:15am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
As the night began to descend on an otherwise sleepy afternoon in the Bloody household, the family slowly gathered in the lounge room to while away the night time hours.

B: Man, this place is a pig sty!. The carpets need vacuuming, the dishes need doing, thereís clothes spread from here to eternity and we all look like the bags of proverbial.
O: And your point is?
B: My point is that there is only one thing a person can do at a time like this.
A: Whatís that?
B: Go out for dinner.
AB: Right on sis. Iím tired of cooking at home all the time. Letís eat out.
All: Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh.
After some quick showers and some even quicker ironing (except for O, who doesnít believe in such things) the family were on the road in their family jalopy. Although, after the last trip to the supermarket and Oís close encounter with the trees, it was B that was driving.
AB: So B, where are we going?
B: I thought we might try that new restaurant that opened on the other side of town. I hear itís BTD compliant. Itís called Chez Chanur and itís very swank.
A: Then with O and AB along weíre going to get kicked out for sure.
O: Weíll be hard pressed even getting in with you around.
B: OK children, thatís enough.
AB: Yeh, chill out dudes, letís make this a good Bloody family night. Hey, thereís the restaurant now.
All: Oooohhhhh, aaaaahhhhhh.
B: Wow, this place looks too good for us.
O: Never, the Bloody family is welcome anywhere, and donít you forget it.
AB: Right on man.
The family park the car and go inside what is obviously a well organised establishment.
Waiter: Ello, and welcome to Chez Chanur, I am your waiter Alfonse, and I will show you to zee table.
O: Lead on my good man.
Waiter: Ere at Chez Chanur we ave the finest of blood type dining for zee discerning patron. And as a special treat we ave the famous Chanur herself in the kitchen tonight.
B: Really, thatís great. Whatís she like?
Waiter: Chanur is the petal on zee flower of love, zee wings on zee dove of peace, zeeÖÖ.(a crashing is heard from the kitchen and Chanur appears with her hands around the neck of the assistant cook, shaking her head violently and screaming..ĒI said no black pepper in the O mealsĒ)
Chanur: (realising the patrons are watching her) Ah, like I said my trusty assistant, a job well done, yes, thatís it, a job well done (pats assistant on head and motions for assistant to go back into the kitchen). Welcome to Chez Chanur everybody. As you can see we all get along here like a regular close family. A regular blood type family that is hehe, and thatís how weíd like you all to feel while dining at Chez Chanur.
AB: But weíre already the Bloody family man.
O: Shutup.
Chanur: Ah, I see we have some dedicated BTDerís over here. I hope everything has been to your satisfaction so far?
B: Yes, well, we havenít actually ordered yet but the entertainment has been spot on.
Chanur: Of course (not looking impressed) Iíll see that you get the best of service.
AB: Thanks man, when is the next act on?
Chanur: And we will especially look after you sir. (walks back into kitchen)
AB: Oh wow, thanks again man.
A: I told you we are going to get kicked out of this joint.
AB: No way man, she loves us, didnít you hear her.
A: Iím surrounded by turkeys.
Waiter: Ave you decided what you will order?
O: I have, but something bothers me. Why would a BTD restaurant have a french waiter, and, just to add a finer point, you donít exactly strike me as a frenchman some how.
Waiter: But of a did guvaway was it cuz eh?
O: Well, the fact that youíre six foot 4, 230 plus pounds, have arms like tree trunks and long plaited hair did kind of seem out of character so to speak. That and the fact that I just saw you doing the Haka (traditional new Zealand Maori dance) in the kitchen.
Waiter: Donít tell the boss eh cuz, or Iíll be eating fush and chups before you know it eh.
O: Donít worry mate, mumís the word. Look out here she comes.
Waiter: Wee monsieur, zat is an excellent choice, and may I recommend zee 1980 Merlot for zat as well.
Chanur: I see Alfonse is looking after you. Heís one of the best you know, all the way from the heart of Paris itself.
AB: Have you had your glasses checked lately?
O: Shutup.
Chanur: What did he say?
O: He said, he thinks heíll have the parsley checked pastry.
Chanur: Huh, I didnít think that was on the menu tonight.
O: Never mind, a nice AB compliant meal will do fine thanks.
Chanur: Alfonse, an AB meal for this gentleman please.
Waiter: No worries, I mean, wee monsieur.
AB: Gee, I hope we come here often man, this place is so cool, and so international donít you think man?
O: Spare me.

Bís choice of the BTD restaurant was a hit with the whole Bloody family and the night was spent sampling the delectable delights of Chez Chanurís totally compliant menu. As the family made their way home Chanur and her trusty assistant spent the rest of the night working on plans for franchising what was obviously turning out to be a great idea.



The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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RhodaMaria
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 10:46am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Azzap!!

Great story again...
Zank you..

Your French is gorgeous!!!

Such a treat to have BTD compliant Restaurants!!! Wish it was reality already here in Europe....

already looking forward to the next episode of this neverending story....

Cocky
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Natalie_Blogger
Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 12:59pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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I think we could all use a meditation cd w/. some 80's music on it
And why do I feel that the AB character needs to be read w/ a voice similar to Keanu Reeves in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure?" !!!

Revision History (1 edits)
ISA-MANUELA  -  Tuesday, March 15, 2005, 1:02pm
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azzap
Sunday, March 20, 2005, 10:04am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
A: (walking into kitchen) Man oh man, what is that smell?
O: Iím testing a new recipe out thatís a touch heavy on the garlic.
A: Phew, donít expect me to be hanging around with you today.
O: That was the plan.
B: Ah O, your ability to create mirth is only eclipsed by your lack of tangible intelligence
O: Har de bloody har.
B: I rest my case. So just what is this odorous concoction youíre brewing up anyway.
O: Itís my latest invention. Iím using six cloves of garlic, chopped shallots, a quarter of a chili, some red curry paste, one carrot, 250grams of diced chicken and a half a packet of rice stick noodles. You add a bit of olive oil to a pan, throw in the shallots, paste, chili and garlic and stir it all around, meanwhile you cook up your noodles in a pot. Then you add the chicken to the pan until itís cooked through, then throw in the carrot, chopped of course, and sprinkle with a touch of brown sugar to caremalise it. Then you serve the whole lot on your drained noodles. Mmmm mmmm.
AB (walking in from bedroom) Oh man, that sounds noodleicious. Get it, noodle icious.
A: Youíre such an idiot.
AB: Whoa man, I feel an obstruction of comical freedom coming on. Iím going to split this garlic infested downer man before all your negativity invades by aura man.
B: Where are you going?
AB: Iím going down to meditate for a few hours beside the sea man. I want to breathe in the essence of the ocean into my being man and become one with the brine.
A: I donít know what that boyís on but it must be good thatís for sure.
B: Ah give him a break A, heís most probably the only one of us that really knows whatís going on in the world.
A: Err somehow I doubt it, but stranger things have happened. I gotta admit, I admire his meditative abilities. If I could last half as long as he does Iíd have this cortisol under control.
B: Yeah, me too. Tell you what, how about you and I head on down to the local park and join in with that Tai Chi group that they have there every morning and see if we canít master a few moves?. The good olí book says thatís good for lowering cortisol.
A: Capital idea B. We can get away from ďgarlic breathĒ here and soak up some fresh air to boot. How did you find out about this anyway?
B: I have a bunch of B type friends who go there all the time. Theyíre in a band. One wears leather and lace, the other wears furs and feather boas and the singer wears a cowboy outfit and carries a fake machine gun.
A: What do they call themselves?
B: The Look-alikes.
A: I see. How appropriate. Anyway, letís make like the pigeons and flock off.
B: Iíll get some water, you get the hats. Donít want to get sunburnt do we now?
A and B head out to the park leaving O alone in the kitchen with his creation. After a short while he is seated at the table savouring the tastes and smells of his latest recipe.
O: Oh yeah, this is good. Oooh, the lips are tingling. Man that chiliís got some bite to it. Pity anyway who comes within 500 yards of me tomorrow hehe.
After O had finished his meal he sat back on the couch and started reading the Live Right book in the section titled ďType O Dietary StrategiesĒ. This section dealt with controlling high stomach acid levels and how to prevent lectin damage. This is what it had to say.
Take de-glycyrrhizinated licorice to increase secretin. A hormone that inhibits stomach acid production.
Supplement with slippery elm bark to promote the health of the stomach, intestine and urinary tract membranes.
Use ginger rhizome as it contains anti inflammatory, anti ulcer and antioxodant compounds and promotes gastric motility.
Supplement with turmeric root. Itís good for what ails ya.
Use cayenne fruit to protect your digestive tract from toxins. Itís also an anti inflammatory, anti ulcer and antioxodant compound.
Drink carbonated mineral water to decrease gastrin and stomach acid production.
Avoid milk, beer, alcohol and white wine, which increase acid production. Red wine is OK in moderation and even better for non-secretors.
Avoid coffee and black tea as it increases gastrin production.
Avoid acid stimulating foods and drink vegetable juice in preference to fruit juice.
Avoid wheat, corn, kidney beans, navy beans, lentils, peanuts and potatoes as these all carry lectins damaging to type Oís.
Take N-acetylglucosamine(NAG), Fucus Vesiculosis(kelp), Laminaria(seaweed) and Larch Arabinogalactin as these help block the actions of dietary lectins due to them being polysaccharide sacrificial molecules.
O was deep in thought and did not notice that AB had returned from his meditation by the ocean until he spoke and subsequently scared the living daylights out of him.
AB: Hey man, look what I found at one of the local health food stores near the beach. Theyíre wheat free, cholesterol free, yeast free, egg free, lactose free, pesticide free, gluten free, taste free chocolate biscuits.
O: Next time donít creep up on me like that. I nearly clubbed you with a chair leg. Here, let me try one of those. Munch munch munch, hmmmm, tastes a bit papery.
AB: Ah, thatís the cardboard insert youíre chewing man.
O: Patooie. Gimme a real one then. Munch munch munch, patooie, thatís horrible, gimme the cardboard insert back.
AB: I guess I should have twigged when the sign said ďWeíll pay you to take these awayĒ.
O: Yeh, they didnít just see you coming, they sent you a telegram.
AB: Speaking of telegrams, I think thatís how Iíll communicate with you for the next couple of days man. Phew, talk about your garlic overdose.
O: (with a look of total satisfaction on his face) Ah my evil plan is working.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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debs
Sunday, March 20, 2005, 1:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

if at first you don't succed try & try again.
Sam Dan
Posts: 853


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Debra+
Monday, March 21, 2005, 1:08am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Eat BTD...Healthy Body... Happier Soul 'Gatherer'
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 5,812
Gender: Female
Location: Kirkland Lake, Northern Ontario, Canada
Age: 57
Oh azzap-that meal sounds yummalicious.  

Debra


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." C.G. Jung"

O+nonT

CBP (Certified BodyTalk Practitioner)
Mindscape (remote/distant healing)
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Accunect Practitioner...in training to teach Self-Care
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Chanur
Monday, March 21, 2005, 8:01am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI'd from GT3 to GT6
Ee Dan
Posts: 845
Gender: Female
Location: Pacific NW, USA
Too funny! I really look forward to each installment (chapter? act?) of this saga. Please keep writing for us, Azzap!
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azzap
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 12:20pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
AB: What a magnificent day man. I feel like getting out and trying something new today. Any one got any ideas?
A: I know, we can go on a road trip and travel to places weíve never been before. Itíll be such fun, Iíll get everything organised.
AB: Next.
O: How about I just smash your face in, then, when you look in the mirror youíll see something new.
AB: (makes apeman caricature face and struts around)
B: As much as I might actually like to see that, I have a better idea. Letís go horse riding.
AB: Alright sis, way to go man. Now THATíS what I call an idea. Címon everyone, letís do it.
O: (talking to A as they head out the door) I still think I should smash his face in. (A nods in agreement)

As they make there way up to the horse riding school the excitement, and trepidation begins to mount as none of them have ever ridden a horse before. Except for B of course who can break a horse in less than 2 minutes while completing a full page of word puzzles.

B: Well, here we are, ďThe Runaway StallionĒ horse riding school. I hope their horses match their name. I havenít been for a good ride for ages.
A: I hope my horse is called Creampuff or something like that. I must admit, Iím a bit dubious of this whole horse caper.
O: Ah donít be such a wuss. Itíll be great fun and besides, if your horse takes off on you, weíll come and get you. Eventually.
A: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
AB: Cool it dudes, here comes the horse riding type person.
Rachel: Hi guys, my names Rachel, or Equipro as they call me here, and welcome to ďThe Runaway StallionĒ, where weíve had only 5 deaths in 3 years.
ALL: (except B) gulp.
Rachel: Ha, only kidding, it was 2.
O: Hi Rachel, weíve never done this before so weíre going to need all the help we can get. What do you suggest first.
Rachel: Well, first, we get out our body brushes.
ALL: (looking rather confused).
Rachel: Thatís right, thereís nothing like a good all over body brush to get the olí blood circulating and the body fired up for a riding session. Of course, itís much easier under a shower but weíve got water restrictions here at the moment so youíll just have to ďdry brushĒ for now. And by the way, for you ladies, it does for cellulite what fibre does for the bowels. Getís it moving hehe.
AB: Oh wow man, I can really feel myself at one with this brush man. Itís like my body just said ďI love youĒ.
A: Shutup space cadet. I canít believe weíre actually doing this.
B: Hey, just be thankful she didnít take us to the stud paddock.
A: I hear you sister, I hear you.
O: (with an all over glow about him) Right then, weíre ready.
Rachel: Not quite, next, in order to ensure that you donít pull any muscles or tear any ligaments while out riding, we need to do a quick T-Tabb (name changed to ensure the author doesnít get sued for copyright infringement) routine. And a one and a twoÖ
O: Bloody hell, next thing you know weíll be sitting for a written test and a riding examination.
Rachel: I can assure you that wonít happen. At least not until next week when the new ďhorse riding proficiency licenceĒ is introduced. And a three and a fourÖ.
A: You know, Iím kind of liking this little routine. I feel ever so limber.
B: Me too, make sure we ask her where to get more info before we leave.
AB: And a five and a sixÖ.
O: You guys are nuts, Iím getting on a horse now.

O runs over and jumps on the first horse he sees. Unbeknownst to him the horse's name is Murdering Pete and as soon as he jumps on it takes off in a cloud of dust and high pitched human screams.

O: Aaaaiiiiiiiyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
A: Oh no, heís gonna die.
Rachel: Donít worry, heíll be back. Eventually.
A: Donít you just love instant karma.
AB: (lathered in sweat from a short but intense workout) did somebody mention instant karma. Thatís the name of that horse over there. See (points at stable nameplate). I want to ride that one.
B: And I want to ride Bucking Beauty.
Rachel: I beg your pardon.
B: I said Bucking Beauty.
Rachel: Oh right, of course, forgive me. Bucking Beauty, yes, a perfect horse for you.
A: You donít happen to have a Creampuff by any chance do you?.
Rachel: Lunch will come later, in the meantime, you can ride my favourite horse. His name is N-Acetyl-Glucosamine, or NAG for short.
A: Hardy har har.
Rachel: I thought you might appreciate that.

The sound of thundering hoof beats approaches, and then recedes as O goes flashing by.

O: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee

Rachel: Told you heíd come back. Where heís going now is anyoneís guess however.
B: This is so cool. I just love horse riding and Iím sure that in a past life I was a plainsman riding the ranges.
A: Iím sure that in a past life I was a ranger riding the plainsman. Haha.
AB: Whoa man, too much information.
Rachel: Well I never.
B: Well you should.
AB (fingers in ears) la la la la la la la la la.


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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Debra+
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 1:46pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Eat BTD...Healthy Body... Happier Soul 'Gatherer'
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 5,812
Gender: Female
Location: Kirkland Lake, Northern Ontario, Canada
Age: 57
Last time I rode a horse, which was almost over 30 years ago, it took off the same way and I lost my top among the trees. †Needless to say, my friends had a good laugh.  
Thanks for the memory azzap.

Debra †


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." C.G. Jung"

O+nonT

CBP (Certified BodyTalk Practitioner)
Mindscape (remote/distant healing)
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Accunect Practitioner...in training to teach Self-Care
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ISA-MANUELA
Thursday, March 24, 2005, 4:28pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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 hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Azza... la la la la la li li li lu lu lu

Debra oooo you poor thing...


when do you write your own story-azzapchen? hš?
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san j
Saturday, March 26, 2005, 12:34am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Nomadess
Columnists and Bloggers
Posts: 4,372
Location: San Francisco, California, USA
I confess I don't understand your take on the AB personality.
Are you modelling this character on someone you know? There've been AB's in my family, and none of them is reflected in this personality or lack thereof.
Do the AB's amongst your readers identify with it?
Just curious.


D'Adamo proponent since 1997
dadamo Blogger and Forum participant since 2005
Cyber-Newbie, as of 2004
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azzap
Sunday, March 27, 2005, 10:11am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

======Gatherer====== Be Good To Your Mother
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 744
Gender: Male
Location: Maroochydore, Queensland, Australia
Age: 50
As a new day dawns the Bloody family risesÖslowlyÖ.painfully and not without a fair share of moaning and groaning.

A: Oh my aching legs. I feel like Iíve just done 2 hours of squats with the heaviest weight in the world.
O: You can shout. My backside feels like itís been kicked from here to billy-oh.
AB: I just ache all over.
B: (walking, almost dancing into the kitchen). Isnít it a lovely morning?. Thereís nothing like a good horse ride to make one feel alive.
B suddenly finds herself covered with the refuse of the morningís breakfast thrown at her by the other family members.
B: (walking to the bathroom to clean up) I can see that some people in this household need to accept the limitations they have in regards to physical activity.
A: Iím so sore I think I pulled a tricep throwing that soy milk carton at B. How does she do it?.
O: I donít know, but maybe sheís right about the physical limitation thing. I think I need to add a ďbody movementĒ type of exercise, like martial arts or something into my regime so that my whole body gets a workout. I canít believe how such a simple thing as a horse ride has worked me over so much.
AB: I think today that we should all take it very easy. What say we head into town and just bum around for the day.
B: (coming back into the kitchen). Good idea AB. Iíll drive.
AB: Of course you will, youíre the only one who can man.
The family heads into town and finds themselves window shopping at the local mall.
O: Hey B, slow down, I can only walk so fast you know.
A: Somebody carry me.
AB: I think Iíll just roll along the floor. Itís so much easier. Hey, whatís with all those people gathered over near the newsagent?. Isnít that those guys from the show ďThe Thousand Dollar QuestionĒ?
O: Yeh, it is too. Itís so rigged though. They get suckers to pay $25 each to answer 3 questions in the hope of winning a thousand dollars and no one ever gets the third one right because itís so hard or so obscure. They must make a packet. Iíd stay away from it if I was you ABÖAB?
B: Heís heading for the stage O.
Presenter: And who would like to come up next. What about you there son, yes you, the hippy looking one with the kind of halo looking thing around your head.
O: Well, there goes twenty five bucks.
Presenter: And whatís your name son?
AB: AB man.
Presenter: OK AB, youíve paid your $25 for the chance to win One Thousand Dollars (crowd cheers), so hereís the first question. What is the meaning of the word ďThrumĒ.
AB: Oh thatís easy, it actually has two meanings, one is to strum and the other relates to a string of threads remaining attached to a loom once the web has been cut off.
A: Blimey, Iíve never heard of the word.
Presenter: Well blow me down, heís right folks. Well done son, and now for question two.
O: Watch this one blow him out of the water.
Presenter: In astronomical units, what is the average distance of Jupiter from the sun?
The crowd moans as they anticipate an incorrect answer.
AB: Jupiter is 5.20 astronomical units from the sun, where one astronomical unit equals 92,956,000 miles or 149,598,000 kilometres.
Presenter: Holy mother of god. I mean, well done son, thatís 2 out of 3 (whispers to assistant Ė ďwho picked these questions?Ē)
B: Am I really hearing all this?. Is that our AB up there?
Presenter: Well it seems we have a real candidate here folks, now for One Thousand Dollars, what role does the Rh factor have in Hemolytic Disease of a newborn baby?
A blank stare ensues from everyone in the crowd. A few seconds pass and the tension mounts. The presenter moves to speak but is cut off.
AB: Researchers have discovered that Rh-negative women, who were missing the Rh antigen, faced a special problem when their babies were Rh-positive and carried the Rh antigen on their blood cells. Unlike the major blood group system, where the antibodies to other blood types develop from birth, Rh-negative people do not make an antibody to the Rh antigen unless they are first sensitised. This sensitisation usually occurs when blood is exchanged between the mother and infant during birth. The motherís immune system does not have enough time to react to the first baby, and so that baby suffers no consequences. However, should a subsequent conception result in another Rh-positive baby, the mother, now sensitised, will produce antibodies to the babyís blood type, potentially causing birth defects and even infant death. Fortunately there is a vaccine that has been developed for this condition, which is given to Rh-negative women after the birth of their first child, and then after every subsequent birth.

Silence.

The presenter swoons and then faints. The crowd goes wild and erupts in a cacophony of cheering and hollering. The assistant, stony faced, hands a thousand dollars to AB who casually walks off the stage waving and smiling at the crowd.

O: That was absolutely amazing. I just discovered a side of you that I had no idea existed.
A: You are the man AB, you are the man.
B: How did you know the answers to those questions?
AB: I thought they were quite easy actually. Basic high school stuff if you ask me. The third one comes straight from the blood type encyclopedia. Surely you all knew that one.
Blank stares.
The family continues to walk around the mall in reverent silence until after a while A begins to speak.
A: AB, I am so impressed I am lost for words. Needless to say I think I speak for all of us when I say that you were incredible up there. The depth of your knowledge and the eloquence with which you translated that knowledge was magical to behold. Never again shall I ridicule you or let anyone talk down to you, and if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask. My door is always open.
O: And as for that thousand bucks, it couldnít have come at a better time. Weíve got rego to pay, the power billís coming up, the roof needs a few new tiles, andÖ.hey, whereíd AB go?
B: Iím right here.
O: I said AB.
B: Oh sorry, that question is usually aimed at me. Force of habit I guess.
After a short while AB returns.
O: Where have you been man?. We were just saying how useful that thousand dollars will be.
AB: Oh, yes, well, I just donated it to the Save The Children fund man. I figured they need it more than we do.

Silence

A: (arms flailing while being held back by O and B) Iím gonna kill you good.

P.S. The author has no affiliation with the Save The Children fund or any other funds or establishments mentioned in these stories. If you want to send money, send it to the Save The Aaron fund, or maybe even to Jim Garland as he'd really like to go to the IFHI conference.  


The only possessions which do not possess us are those which can be shared by all.

It also pays to wear a christmas hat.



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