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Kidney Abscess: Any suggestions? was:stroke victim  This thread currently has 4,063 views. Print Print Thread
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greenman
Thursday, March 3, 2011, 12:06pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hi Goldie
The irish medical system is very frustrating ( The g.p. say that once in hospital it is not their concern).
Mother is very tired but is communicating slighly. I try to talk to her about everyday things, sales in the shops, who I met in town etc as she does not like being asked constantly how are you? have you any pain etc?
If she's tired which is most of the time, it is just a nod or a flick of her eyes to tell me that she understands.
I suppose I have come to accept that the doctors are not too sure as to what to do next as they keep saying that they are doing tests. The abscess is still yielding 4 pints a day which I know is not right.
This means that they cannot put her on her belly or side as the abscess puts too much pressure on internal organs.
Thanks for the hug.
I see the frustrated faces of relatives in the hospital of other patients and see myself mirrored through them. Sometimes I stop and talk with these strangers and all of a sudden it is as if we are in the same club supporting each other like a team which is helpful.
Kindest regards
Greenman
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Goldie
Thursday, March 3, 2011, 4:18pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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I see the draining as maybe a good thing allowing all the puss to leave her body..

I see her wanting peace.. that is ok.. my mom wanted rest, not be alone, but peace, no guilt in your face, no sorrow if she goes today or stays.. it's up to her.. it's up to you to let her make her choices..

I see these times a little phylosophical.. It's my time to make good for all the times I was short in time or patience or underatnding or listening.. I see it as time for me to care as I do, not make believe.. not being afraid of either death or life.. I am sorry only when I was not there to say the many little 'good night's or the last good by..  or the ideas that I am supposed to have done this or that.. or that anyone is guilty.. (not even your medical system) for here if you have no money you would be suffering all sorts of issues.. Like my friend who had to wait 10 days to go the hospital even with a brain infection..and that is while we still have coverage before the current c**p of politicians take it away again) so unless you see glaring issues, don't fret, its life and sometimes living forever is a great pain also..  IF however there is something you can do to improve things then fight and fight hard..  put all your self into it and learn all the reasons why it has not been done before.. deliberate actions like asking a doctor not the why or what.. but what do you think.. and then listen to what is not said and then ask about that which is kept silent for fear that YOU can not handle it..

gods are gods.. doctors are just doctors.. specialist in one or other thing, never all things, some are better curing then talking, some talk and are incapable of hearing.. seeing and makeing the hard choices= one being willing to say: I have no idea..  that might be the biggest gift of all as that frees you to stay with the one person.. sudenly the world opens.. and always remember this will pass also.

Bring mom some pictures/photos she likes .. all the best warm hugs.. always


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Friday, March 4, 2011, 12:07pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Hi Goldie,
Looks like you've been there what I am going through.
Thanks for your support.
One statement from a doctor yesterday gave me hope when I explained to him that the previous doctors blamed my mothers complaints on 'old age'.
He said 'any doctor who diagnoses a patients complaint on old age is not a doctor in my opinion'
I must say that I admire my mother as she is bravely dealing with this current problem.
I told he last night that I admired her spirit and positiveness, her reply will live with me forever
'That is the only choice'
Thanks again for your support.
Kindest regards
Greenman
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Goldie
Friday, March 4, 2011, 2:32pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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one day at a time..

yes mom was in the hospital with colon operations and had 4 operations ever few weeks becasue she just could not eat and digest.. her intestines kefpt getting gnarled and scared.. finally she was operated one more time and then it woked for 10 years.

I am glad you found a doctor you can talk to.. makes all the difference.. as for mom .. a hug from me .. please fluff her pillow.. and when she gets to the place where she can rest a little on one side make sure to put a soft fetter pillow under her back to support her.. if need bring it from home.. in our hosptals here they use bricks for pillows.. in switzerland they ues pink duvet and down fetters.. big difference. hahaha ..  

If your doctors start to chase mom out of bed for walking (important) listen to her.. my mom never walked while woman held her.. she wanted the security of a man.. she had spunck..  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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Mayflowers
Friday, March 4, 2011, 8:38pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
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Your mother seriously needs hydration. I sense she is severely dehydrated...hence the UTI's going up into her kidneys.  You need to get water in her. We're talking a couple of liters a day.
I don't understand that generation. My mother was the same way. I think she killed her self from dehydration.
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kauaian
Friday, March 4, 2011, 9:56pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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Quoted from greenman
Hi Goldie,
Looks like you've been there what I am going through.
Thanks for your support.
One statement from a doctor yesterday gave me hope when I explained to him that the previous doctors blamed my mothers complaints on 'old age'.
He said 'any doctor who diagnoses a patients complaint on old age is not a doctor in my opinion'
I must say that I admire my mother as she is bravely dealing with this current problem.
I told he last night that I admired her spirit and positiveness, her reply will live with me forever
'That is the only choice'
Thanks again for your support.

Kindest regards
Greenman


I have tears in my eyes reading this @ work.  Thank goodness I am sitting here alone.  Your mother is a brave lady....reminds me of my mom who never complained.  She had Lupus & was on dialysis.

You are the most caring & wonderful son any woman could ask for.  
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Lola
Saturday, March 5, 2011, 1:38am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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a wise and courageous woman.....


''Just follow the book, don't look for magic fixes to get you off the hook. Do the work.'' Dr.D.'98
DNA mt/Haplo H; Y-chrom/J2(M172);ISTJ
The harder you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you!
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greenman
Monday, March 7, 2011, 1:40am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Look I love you all, the strength and support you have given  me a total stranger is fantastic.
i reciprocate it totally and hope I can return it again. You are all more wonderful than you realise yourselves, and if you read what you wrote to me a total stranger (and now a friend) please give yourselves a treat and a serious pat on the back( beneficial of course).
I feel the pain and love that you all have gone through with your parents/loved ones and appreciate your experiences, you are all helping me with my problem/project at present.
My mother slept through the day. I sat beside her. The nurses said she is a great sleeper. I smiled at them, knowing she is sleeping too much now adn am unhappy with what I see in the collection tubes. Tomorrow to talk to the consultants!!!
LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH
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Lola
Monday, March 7, 2011, 5:11am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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you re both in my prayers.....thanks for being you GM!


''Just follow the book, don't look for magic fixes to get you off the hook. Do the work.'' Dr.D.'98
DNA mt/Haplo H; Y-chrom/J2(M172);ISTJ
The harder you are on yourself, the easier life will be on you!
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Goldie
Monday, March 7, 2011, 1:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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my mother used her sleep to heal.. don't mind your moms sleep.. the body only heals while sleeping

also see if -from where she has her eyes- exactly.. does she get blinded from glare of lights and sun or even the shimmer of clouds.. only after I laid my self on the couch where mom was did I reaslize why she always closed her eyes.. painfull glaring in all directions..  

the same driving im my car.. no matter how slow I drove she asked that I slow down, I finally put her in the back seat as that seemed to bother the speed much less.. then I sat where she sat and saw what she felt.. in the driver side the trees  are much closer and feel like flitting passt .. I wish I had been willing to slow down for her to be able to enjoy those trees.. instead I argued.. we learn.. and then we pass our learning on.. it's all I have to offer in my life.. take what you can and leave the rest. good luck  and a hug to you to...  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 12:41am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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The consulatnt will see me tomorrrow morning at 9am
My questions are
why is the abscess still producing so much?
why is she sotired all teh time?
Her throyroid levels are low now, why is that , is that associated with the antibiotocs(side affect) of what?
How long will she be in hospital?

If anyone has any input as to further questions please add on , as I will appreciate any help!!
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Goldie
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 12:59am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
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The consulatnt will see me tomorrrow morning at 9am

Preview..:
My questions are
why is the abscess still producing so much?  we have no idea but her body just does not have the strength yet to fight whatever is producing the fluids.. as long as she drains its at least all coming out.. bette rthen fester inside..  

why is she sotired all teh time?  the body heals when its sleeping...

Her throyroid levels are low now, why is that , is that associated with the antibiotocs (side affect) of what?... No idea why, could be some other thing all together..

How long will she be in hospital? when she is getting more stable.. needing less nursing care.. or   when her benefits run out .. or she gets better relatively suddenly once they fix what is ailing her..

If anyone has any input as to further questions please add on , as I will appreciate any help!!
do they have a diagnisis?? a name a label or UNKNOWN a mistery for which only Dr. House has the answer.. (he is fictional on tv here.. he fixes everything..  )

most of all make them be honest and then don't be angry if they hesitate.. we need to train them about how much we can understand or take and deal with.. show them your strength  they will follow your lead.. expect very little.. they need training to be honest..

does it cost you money?  ask the questions you need answers to.. all the best..    


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 9:56pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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met the consultant today.
He basically said steady as she goes. He is treating everything.
He now does not want to remove kidney stone as he says she will not be able for it and complications could mean that kidney will have to be removed. Stent is in place to take care of left ureter.
I suppose that it is what I expected as they are just treating things and do not know what the big picture is and are afraid of her past medical history.
He could not give me a time span as to when she will be discharged.
Just updating and thanks for the interest and posts of support
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yaeli
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 9:57pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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{{{HUGS}}}

I understand that they have been considering operating for a long time now, but are most careful with her.

You both are a tremendous source of power to each other.

I add my love and prayers and wishes for success.


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Goldie
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 10:23pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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You did well and continue to show your ability to focus and keep it together.. Mom will lead the way.. all the best..


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 12:33pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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I know that it has been a while since I posted.
I have kept an eye on the board but have been mostly up in the hospital with my mother.
To update my Mother had a life saving operation because of a kidney abscess and they inserted a stent to by pass a stone in her urethra. She has been recovering.
She was in hospital in december with a UTI and gradually got worse in january and needed the operation.
In hospital she got MRSA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methicillin-resistant_Staphylococcus_aureus) in hospital in the nose. This cleared up and now it is back in the wounds. (forgot to say that a pot of tea fell on her in hospital and scalded her, and this is the site of one of the mrsa infections).

She still cannot walk-this happened in december.
She has pain on her left side.
MRSA.
She is bothered and anxious the whole time worse at night-this was new since december.
She is tired the whole time-I accept that this is probably due to all that she has been through.
She is suffering from fear.
She feels full the whole time and is refusing food-this is new since december.
She is bother with pain from time to time that moves from her back to her chest to beneath her ribs.
Alot of these symptoms are new and only occured in January after discharge or during the hosptial stay. The general practictioner doctor said it was probably dementia or related to stroke. In the hospital now, they tell me that this is not the case. But tehse symptoms are teh same as what I noticed in January and in my opinion it turned out that they were due to an abscess growing in and around her left kidney to her pancreas.

I originally started this post by saying that she was a 'stroke victim' as this is what the doctor led me to believe in december, however the scans are showing no sign of stroke in december.
She had 2 small tia's on the past which restricted slightly her right side.

My Mother has been in hospital for over 2 months now. They want to discharge her to a Nursing Home. I do not think that she is fit for discharge and have told them. They have not answered any of the problems that she is having above. I get the 'phrase: "It's to be expected" which I believe is a cop-out.

I suppose I am writing this post for 2 reasons one is to update you all as you are so kind and caring and secondly as I have asked for a meeting with the medical team to discuss this problem.
If anyone has any advice of further questions that I put to the hospital team please feel free to post them.

I do not want my mother in hospital, if she needs nursing home care then so be it, however I want her leaving the hospital with a fighting chance of some life rather than the way she is at the moment. I think everybody deserves that.
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fridge
Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 3:22pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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best of luck dealing with them. You and your mother are in my prayers
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ruthiegirl
Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 8:50pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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((HUGS)) I'm so sorry you have to see your mother decline like this.

Depending on the nursing home, she just might end up with better care than she has in the hospital. Sometimes the nursing homes are better staffed, and the visiting hours are usually a whole lot better!


Ruth, Single Mother to 19yo   O- Leah , 18yo O- Hannah, and  12yo B+ Jack


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greenman
Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 12:09am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Thanks Ruthiegirl and fridge for your good wishes.
My feeling now is that they are kicking for touch with my mother and trying to
divert the problem to a nursing home.
It would be a lot easier maybe if they said 'we don't know' what is wrong,
even though I would feel disappointed I might accept that better.
My problem is that I ask about her problems and their prognosis is
'send her to a nursing home'
This will create alot of complications due to commute distance and the fact that she hates them.
Another symptom that she has is that he eyesight goes for maybe 20-30 seconds and only returns gradually.

As I say if there is a problem I will accept it, however, I still want to give her a chance at life.
love to you all
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PCUK-Positive
Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 12:58am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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Hi Greenman, I must have missed these posts before, good luck from up north, here. My thoughts are with you. how old is your mother. keep talking to your mother when you can even if she is asleep.

Try and get her home once the hospital has  helped her.  

good food, and love is best.

I'm always worried to give advice on such a delicate person, but I i were in the same position. i would settle her for a few days then keep the bone broth on tap. plus blood type probiotics, just one a day. always seeing how they react. nothing to fibrous or starchy either for a few days. if she seems to improve stick with that too. if not try other things. but always keep it simple.

no sugar and little fruit. until you build the good bacteria as it will be all gone after the antibiotics.  always when ill less food is best i think. no potatoes (hard to do in Ireland) but be brave.

let her listen to the radio rather than the television, some old fashion good musik and chat.


Kind Regards PC. FIfHI Swami III Pro

Partner (F) is O+(Non) MN. Duffy Fy(a+b+),  Lewis (a+ b-) Gatherer.
DD ( is O+(Non)NN, Duffy Fy(a+b-) Lewis (a+b-) Gatherer
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Goldie
Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 4:02pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Sam Dan
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I am certain that a change of pace is good for mom, it will give her hope that she is getting better.. also some care is different, and might be helpful..

visiting her is important as that will make sure she gets good treatment.. MRSA is contageus, so they will most likely give her a private room and keep her in isolation, meaning gowns and clean all around.. that will help her .. but dont let her be put in with another with MERSA if at all possible..

MRSA takes a long time to get over, it is a bad thing to get (evn for you)  but with open wounds that is nearly a given now in hospitals..

sometimes it is what moves them to treat her better, as it is a black mark against the hospital .. should be a case for a law suit.. but hard to deal with.. it will follow her throughout later stays in hospitals,, make certain she gets private rooms if you can get it.. worth the price if you can pay for it.  

Later make sure you stay healthy, wash your hands often, and give her night gowns that don't rub her elbows raw..  no need for back openings.. this will also make her more willing to move around as the back does not stick out.. later get her dresses that are washable like fabrics that will keep her dressed as soon as possible  with or without a bra..

also they now make stick on glue on bra cups. sawthem together in front .. the clip is to weak.. they are great,30 dollar in US in walmart.. .- , no need to have straps and contraptions.. just paste them where the boobs would be on top - bend her over to pbring the boobs in front instead of elsewhere.. much more comfortable.. and they don't take any care other then washing with soap, so one pair is enough as you don't have to wash them every day, they dry over night .. good for a for a good laugh to..progress..let on AIDE help her to figure it out...

get mom also new under pants that are soft in the waist.. and if need be a small pads she can exchange when she needs to..ladies tend to leak.. is she hving a foli...  Bending over to do her shoes or socks all is difficult.. helping her get dressed is a good thing for her and you.. you will be surprised how her body comes back after a while..

my moms bones where sharp along the shin edges, and boobs where hanging like skinny skin.. but all filled in and mom lived a full life for yars after..

i am glad you updated us.. thanks.. ..  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Wednesday, April 13, 2011, 8:16pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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thanks very much for your kind words Goldie
I am still worried about her symptoms
Another patient said that some delusion was common with UTI's or MRSA
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Goldie
Thursday, April 14, 2011, 3:25am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
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delusions after surgeyis common for up to 6 month or longer.. urine issues can cause that, but the doctors would know about that. but I guess you just have to stay on top of things. no matter the outcome, no matter what mom will go through .. you need to feel good about what you are doing is good enough and enough no matter what..

but mom needs time, trust her sleeping time to heal, sleeping might cause confusion in what she knows of time of day or place, and so on .. my mom suddenly saw green lines on her arms and scrubbed them off for days, until we where able to convince her that she was not crazy and loosing control, just that her mind / vision was playing tricks on her. it took several people to convince her.

The MRSA I don't know, but it is stressing the body .. but in your country they have not used antibiotics to often so you are less likely to be in danger of nothing working to treat her, so that is a good thing..

her eye sight is a different thing, most likely just a temporay thing,..

I might be less hesitant to let them move her to a nursing home, if they allow you to be staying with her, then learn what they do and valuate what you could offer at home with home health care.. its a fight each family needs to fight, one of the things you might be able to consider, is that taking mom home will "allow" her to be re-admitted after some days, as hospitals sometimes have rules to play with.

ask about that so you know what they say.. keep  sharing your issues, I went through several of them including with a friend who was convinced that she should die alone rather then have someone there.. I was taken so aback that I let it happen, the next time I would confront the hospital staff in front of the dying person, I did not at the time and i feel sorry - but not guilty.. not all things are in my power.. but still I learned a lot ..  

are you the only child for mom,, are there other siblings and involvement..    


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
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greenman
Thursday, April 14, 2011, 7:59am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Thanks for reply.
I am the only one in the family locally who does anything for my mother.
eyesight problems started when she had UTI in december/january.
She does not want to go to nursing home but at present she would not be able to go home as would
need 24 hour care which I cannot supply.
My fear is that in a nursing home she will be left to wither away.
She was in nursing home before and was just left sitting all day.
Anyway I am now waiting on a call from her medical team to come in and talk to them as to why they want to discharge her.
My feeling is that if she were no discharged so quickly in january, she would not have needed a life saving operation in december
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greenman
Thursday, April 14, 2011, 8:07am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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this is just as a post script to my own health in what is a difficult time for me.
I have spent alot of time in the hospital and have not been able to eat compliantly due to choices and have had to eat takeaway etc. I know that this is no good but it is all that is available.

The good news is that when I eat compliantly again it really only takes a day-day and a half to get back on track.
fair play to ye Dr. D.
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