I am so glad this was referred to, my computer was crashed at the time it was started, so I did not know of it's existence until today.  I wonder what other important post I missed, I was w/o a computer from Nov 2008-May 2009, if I remember, correctly.

This is so interesting and answers so many questions, being a nonnie, seems to play a role, here from what I read so far.

Quoted from Ribbit

I do things so automatically sometimes that I don't realize I've done them.  I'll turn out of the driveway, blink, and be at the grocery store and have no recollection of getting there.  I just zone out.  

I zone so bad I may as well not be there.  I can snap out of a zone (without even knowing I'm in one) and have no idea what I was doing or how I got there.

My sister has had similar symptoms and was diagnosed with global amnesia.  I am wondering, now, if that's not what is happening when she goes into a cleaning frenzy at my Mom's house.

Hm.  But getting a diagnosis like that would require going to the doctor, wouldn't it?

When I get in a cleaning frenzy, the room is entirely clean.  Unreasonably clean.  Unnecessarily clean.  Down to the little corners of the baseboards.  And sometimes I just repaint the entire room.  I have trouble with balance.

That guy who played in Gladiator.  I can't think of his name.  He also did a movie about a schizophrenic guy.  I can't think of the name of that movie either.  If I had more caffeine in my system I would instantly know.  Anyway, I didn't enjoy that movie because I understood a little what he was doing.  So many of these symptoms overlap and it's hard to peg exactly where you fall.  And ten different doctors might likely give ten different diagnoses.

If I'm watching TV and my wife wants to talk to me or ask me a question - forget about it.

When I'm in the Alpha state- I'm in the Alpha state and YOU don't really exist.

Turn the TV off and give me a few seconds and - presto, YOU now exist and can get my full attention.

A nonnie to be sure.

What is Alpha state?

Ribbit: A Beautiful Mind

I've been back on Paxil (20 mg) for the last two weeks.  My Dr. prescribed it because of anxiety, especially because I've had difficulty with sleep.  Let me tell you, it worked!  For the past two weeks, I've hardly gotten anything done EXCEPT sleep.  I knew this would be a problem if it kept up for long, but I figured that after nearly five months of being housed but homeless, I needed rest badly.

Friday I decided that I should be caught up by now, so I skipped it that night with plans to continue Saturday night with half a dose (10mg).  Saturday I felt like a new man.  I awoke well-rested, with enough energy to get caught up on most of what I got behind on.  I felt a lot less sensitive.  The one annoying thing I noticed was that I was very restless/antsy.  I slept well again last night on 10 mg, and I'm feeling well again today, but less antsy.

Also on Saturday, I realized that a lot of what I've been remembering lately about "how I am" has been drawn from the worst times in my life.  It should come as no surprise, with all the chronic stress I've been dealing with over the last year plus.  Ribbit, I am going to say you are struggling with this sort of thing a lot more than I am.  Either that or you have been in dire need of more sleep since childhood!  I suffer with it when I've been under a lot of stress and I'm run down.  When I'm well the oversensitivity is much more manageable.  I still need sunglasses outdoors, and I'm still bothered by tags and seams and poorly fitting clothes, and it's still annoying to converse in a room with a TV or other conversations, but it's not overwhelming.  Maybe this is just the other side of being right on the border, or of being able to compensate.  I don't know.

Alpha state is many things but in this case I mean it as: The brain's relaxed or neutral state. This occurs when we are relaxed and not under stress.  When watching TV you are taking in information and not actively "paticipating" in the "conversation" with what you are watching.  

You are detached.

Quoted from Tom Martens

Alpha state is many things but in this case I mean it as: The brain's relaxed or neutral state. This occurs when we are relaxed and not under stress.  When watching TV you are taking in information and not actively "paticipating" in the "conversation" with what you are watching.  

You are detached.

Not sure relaxed really comes into it though.  

I work in a large open plan office and I completely lose myself and ignore everybody and everything around me..and all of a sudden I notice a drink next to me that somebody got me when they did a drinks round half an hr ago...when I say ignore what I mean is that unless somebody actually says my name and stands next to/in front of me I won't notice they are talking to me.  

Also works in smaller spaces, perhaps more so in fact because I can sit in a room out at a client with my team and two of them are chatting to each other, one is coaching the junior and another is on the phone and client staff also keep popping in and out, also talking to the team and in the midst of all that I am completely zoned out reviewing work, reading my emails or prioritising my to do list and am oblivious to it all until somebody says "Michaela, did you listen to that? What....."  At which point they normally have to repeat what they said before saying my name because I won't have consciously heard any of it.      

This losing myself is not a conscious effort as far as I can tell, just my normal state when at work, because there is always all sorts of stuff going on and people passing and I could not function and be productive, if I took it all in consciously.  

Writing this, I also noticed that it doesn't work the other way round - if I'm on the phone even just listening, say on a conference call, not even having a conversation, I can't zone out and ignore everything around me.  So the act of listening seems to keep me engaged with what's going on around me.    

Very interesting, Michaela (beautiful name, by the way).

Oh, right.  "A Beautiful Mind".    Well!

I believe you may be right.  Stress causes me to detach, and because I've been detached for so long, it kind of follows me through life and rears its ugly head whenever it wants.  The detachment is part of the PTSD.  PTSD ==> adrenal fatigue ==> forgetfulness?

I'm glad you're doing a little better, TJ.  It must be awful to always feel back-and-forth.

Quoted from koahiatamadl

I can sit in a room out at a client with my team and two of them are chatting to each other, one is coaching the junior and another is on the phone and client staff also keep popping in and out, also talking to the team and in the midst of all that I am completely zoned out reviewing work, reading my emails or prioritising my to do list and am oblivious to it all until somebody says "Michaela, did you listen to that? What....."  At which point they normally have to repeat what they said before saying my name because I won't have consciously heard any of it.

I'm so jealous!

Yes Ribbit, it is frustrating, but at least there is an "up" and not just a "down".  I sort of tune out when I'm very overwhelmed (or I try to), but that tunes out everything.

Well, I think this is more frustrating than anything!

Reading about your experiences Ribbit was a more than a little creepy, as I have many of the same issues.

I wish there was a quick fix/diagnosis, so it would just get better already

  Yeah...I've got stuff to do...life to live...I don't have time to be slowed down by filtering stimuli.  And yet....

Welcome to the forums, by the way, Elizabeth!

Attn:  TJ and Paul.

I've got a thought I wanted to run by you both.

I have been wondering lately what the link is between adrenals and sensitive hearing.

Here's what I'm thinking:

Because of the hypersensitivity of all senses (particularly ears in this case), we are hyper-vigilant against pain.  We brace ourselves constantly against all incoming stimuli to keep from getting hurt.  

In my case, the voices of my children actually hurt my ears.  I have come to see that only recently.  Normal talking is one thing.  If they raise their voices even slightly, it causes physical pain for me.  I find myself bracing myself (raising adrenal levels), waiting for somebody to screech "GIVE IT BACK!!!" when somebody else steals something.

So not only to we jump and cringe when sounds bombard us, but we also cringe in advance, knowing it will inevitably come, thus stressing the adrenals.

Does this make any sense?  Does it sound reasonable?

Is it reasonable to believe that those of us who can't filter stimuli have chronic adrenal issues?

I don't think that the adrenals are effected directly by lack of normal sound stimulus filtering, but your sense of fatigue is certainly caused by your tense experience.  

When someone without stimulus filtering issues hears a noise that is too loud - it hurts.  The sense of pain is a warning to us that listening capability will be lost with continued exposure.  Those of us whose listening (the ability to consciously focus the hearing sense for communication) ability is compromised have thresholds of noise tolerance that are lower than normal.  Chronic stress, frustration, and pain are the inevitable consequence of not being able to shut out the noise.  Stress - it is what it is, as Golfzilla would say.

Hey Ribbit - I have just thought of something that may well help you cope with what you are dealing with right now!  Do you remember reading about the Holosync system?  I tried the freebie intro CD.  One of the claims that was made of that system, was that it increased your stress threshold.  It was so good at this, that it was claimed that it made dealing with substance abuse issues easier.  Now, I do not think that I experienced the increase in the stress threshold myself.  I just used the demo CD to get better sleep, and get to sleep earlier.

You should check it out and try the freebie.  Do not listen to the freebie if you need to monitor anything important!  It was so good at relaxing me that the only time I dared to use it was just before I was going to sleep.  

I don't know if the CD will fulfil all of the claims made for the system for you, but even if you got the improved sleep, it would help you recharge your batteries for the next day.

There are direct connections between ear problems and other systems; there is one between middle ear dysfunction and muscle tension.  I have a niece (by marriage) who had tubes put in her ears (which damages them).  She is as skinny as a rake (worse than my DD, who is beginning to fill out with BTD!), has constantly tense muscles and a flat tinny voice.  She seems to have mildly autistic qualities, but this is not completely clear to me, since almost all of the rest of her family are dominant, attention-seeking, or both.