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I'm Back and I Need Help!!!  This thread currently has 1,149 views. Print Print Thread
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Aussie
Sunday, December 8, 2013, 12:04am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Averno


Angel over one shoulder, devil over the other, eh?



I never quite thought about it like that  

And it truly occurs with the majority of my food thoughts.  It happened again first thing this morning - only this morning I started with the positive thought - a cup of warm water with lemon juice - then quicker than you can blink the "no have coffee" took over.

I won the initial fight - I had the warm water and lemon juice - but then the continual - "have a coffee" won over.

Not sure if I like the idea of devil being on one shoulder as I can't think of what I would have done to deserve this (unwanted) attention.

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jayneeo
Sunday, December 8, 2013, 1:44am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Rh- Gatherer
Kyosha Nim
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Location: San Jose, CA
Age: 67
devil and angel= our higher nature and our lower nature  

ah...I know it well...
I've been letting myself have oatmeal everyday lately and I'm loving it! It's satisfying and filling.
Yes, with butter and cinnamon and ...(the dreaded) stevia! no prob.

I think just fill up on protein (oatmeal's not)...and you will be in a position to turn down the bread.
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yaeli
Sunday, December 8, 2013, 5:28am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI Gatherer / Taster / ISFJ
Ee Dan
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Quoted from Aussie
I won the initial fight - I had the warm water and lemon juice - but then the continual - "have a coffee" won over.

Not sure if I like the idea of devil being on one shoulder as I can't think of what I would have done to deserve this (unwanted) attention.
This is another part of the strategic: Emptying home from avoids. It's not in my dreams and eventually I've done it. Doing this is tackling this devil, or "devil", head on, if you ever watched "the Life Laundry", a program where a team helps families to get rid of ALL the clutter at home. This in itself is a deep mental cleansing process, it necessarily involves agony, at least some agony, and families who have both O's and A's etc. can experience it only to a certain degree. It's the battle of Mind against Matter, in which Mind wins. In this respect my kitchen is my fortress, and I can tackle best what's out of sight and of immediate reach. Inside my kitchen I have to do with what's at hand. Anyway, re avoids which are too difficult to keep avoiding, it is a tremendous support to get them out of sight, as your health is the greatest treasure of the whole family, and considering proportions, greater by far than any avoid one can think of.    

In any case, the point is not what isn't there, but what is. Flood your kitchen and pantry with compliant foods, work with them, let your imagination work its wonders, and rejoice.



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yaeli  -  Sunday, December 8, 2013, 5:51am
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ABJoe
Monday, December 9, 2013, 3:37am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Aussie
I won the initial fight - I had the warm water and lemon juice - but then the continual - "have a coffee" won over.


Another idea is to use what an old alcoholic did...  He just kept saying that he would have his next drink later.  It didn't matter that his last drink had been 15 years ago, he still had a desire for a drink almost continuously, but just kept pushing it back until "later"...


RH-, ISTJ
Wonderful Wife = A+ Teacher; Darling Daughter = A- SWAMI Explorer
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Mrs T O+
Monday, December 9, 2013, 3:57am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Concealed Carry Gatherer! SWAMI Explorer Blend
Kyosha Nim
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You got lots of great advice, but is your family supportive?  Can you afford all the good foods?
We Os are more expensive than the other types with the meats & all. We cannot skimp by on rice & beans or pasta as well as the other types can.
Since you have summer, try to get outside for sunshine (they are finding out vitamin D may help in appetite control) which also will make you feel better. Are you able to get active? Try to keep moving.

Of course, keep us posted. This is such a supportive group!!


Interested in nutrition, lactation, religion, politics; love to be around people; talkative, sensitive, goofy; a "fishy Christian" ><>; left-handed; lived on a farm, small town & big city; love BTD/GTD; A staunch La Leche League veteran; b. 10/1947 Check BTD/GTD on facebook!
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ruthiegirl
Monday, December 9, 2013, 4:11pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI O+ Gatherer, Healing from Fibromyalgia
Kyosha Nim
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Welcome back!

Remember that every time you have a meal or a snack, it's a chance to make a fresh start. You've had coffee and toast for breakfast, and an hour later you're ready for another slice of bread? You have not ruined the day! You've gotten off to a shaky start, but you can choose to have a handful of nuts or an egg or some veggies or a piece of fruit- or whatever- instead of more bread. A new bite is a chance for a new start. The day is never "ruined."

I would suggest that you tackle the wheat problem now, and put all other changes on the back burner for now. Coffee is not likely to cause you the same kinds of problems as the bread, so don't worry about it for now. Ditto on the milk. And if you eat the wrong kinds of veggies? It's still better than not eating enough veggies!

In another week or two you can get stricter. Right now you just need to focus on cutting down, and then stopping, the wheat intake. And simultaneously think about adding in good foods, such as meats and veggies. Now is not the time to worry about portion sizes or frequencies. You're going to eat a little more until your metabolism gets back in line.

It probably won't be practical to "get all non-compliant foods out of the house" with children in the house. Yes, it's a good idea to clean up their diets too, but it can be mentally draining to help kids change their diets. Give yourself a few weeks of eating better to build up the energy first, while they eat what's familiar to them. Go ahead and make mutually compliant dinners for the whole family, but it's not worth the energy right now to stop the kids from eating what's familiar. Your energy is at a premium right now, and you need to focus that energy on healing yourself first.

I like the idea of filling the house with compliant grain products, such as 100% rye bread or crackers and/or rice cakes. And you can have that cup of hot lemon water before or  after your cup of coffee. It doesn't have to be "one or the other."


Ruth, Single Mother to 19yo   O- Leah , 18yo O- Hannah, and  12yo B+ Jack


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Lin
Monday, December 9, 2013, 4:34pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Ee Dan
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Aussie,
I used to be like you with the bread addiction.  
I have replace it with things like porridge using different grains and adding nuts/seed and a little dried fruit.  Soups with lots of veg, rice cakes with nut butter.  Meals with rice for my carb, lentils/beans or fish, veggies etc.
It is a big adjustment, perhaps try making the change one meal at a time.
Lin


Gluten/Casein and Yeast sensitivity.
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Lin
Monday, December 9, 2013, 4:36pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Ee Dan
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ABJoe,
what a clever idea...I think you are on to something of thinking "I'll have x food/drink later".
It is the idea we shouldn't or can't that often makes us crave the offending item.
Lin


Gluten/Casein and Yeast sensitivity.
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battle dwarf
Monday, December 9, 2013, 6:27pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Ee Dan
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aussie, I have not gotten to page two of this yet but here are my idea's so far (they are things I use)
I grew up on bread and lots of it. as a little kid my parents used to hand me a whole fresh loaf of French bread and call it lunch, yes I ate the whole thing.
I had to first reduce use of bread. I found that a nice spelt wrap was great for my missing sandwich and latter switched intierly to rice wraps. I will still eat a bit of spelt bread now and then but I can go without with no prob now (it took a couple of years)
the coffee I have a wonderful sub for and I was able to drop all but the occasional coffee right away.
start with a cup of yerba matte and add 1/2 spoon of suger (I use turbanado) 1/8 carob powder two heaping spoons of coaco (raw is best) and as much real cream as the cup can handle (probably a good three spoons) it has a slightly bitter nutty flavor with just enouph caffen that filled that coffee fix for me perfectly.
the carb fix I oddly curbed with a spoonful of chia seeds, olive oil, and a pinch of pink salt. just one and I was as happy as if I had snacked on a slice of bread. worth a try   I did not need it for long maybe a couple of months to get that carb addiction worked out.


nothing to do? who has that!?
swami made me an explorer!
married to an AB+ mom to a B+ boy
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battle dwarf
Monday, December 9, 2013, 6:35pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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oh and the head devil I used a trick that I use for all avoids. I tell myself poisen. simply that, and no one wants to eat/drink poisen. I go through the store (and people think i'm nuts) looking at lables and foods most people fill up on and say things out loud to myself like "why do they sell us poisen to eat? why do people eat this poisen? how dare they sell me poisen instead of food!" and so on. any food or drink I know I should not have I lable in my head as poisen and oddly it keeps most of that garbage out of my basket.
I also I have done realy well with the idea of fake food vs. real food. for instance I saw a mention of low fat milk earlier. real food dose not come low fat or fat free. real food will always have fats in it, in order for it to be low or no fat they have to process it which will always take out the things you need with the fat they wanted to take out. better off just looking for natural and organic. localy raised is even better. also stay away from anything synthetic. the word itself means fake and fake is not food!


nothing to do? who has that!?
swami made me an explorer!
married to an AB+ mom to a B+ boy
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jayneeo
Monday, December 9, 2013, 7:14pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Kyosha Nim
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this thread is full of wise advise: this is the one i am taking  to heart starting now!
FILL THE FRIDGE WITH PROTEIN, VEGGIES, FRUIT,  and all good things on your list. Have them eveready, handy, easy to access in a moment of need. Thank you!
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SquarePeg
Monday, December 9, 2013, 8:52pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Ee Dan
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Quoted from Aussie

It [devil vs. angel] happened again first thing this morning - only this morning I started with the positive thought - a cup of warm water with lemon juice - then quicker than you can blink the "no have coffee" took over.

I won the initial fight - I had the warm water and lemon juice - but then the continual - "have a coffee" won over.

Not sure if I like the idea of devil being on one shoulder as I can't think of what I would have done to deserve this (unwanted) attention.
I've not given up coffee for the six years that I considered myself to be on BTD.  Personally I feel it is more beneficial to me than Dr D gives it credit for.  Anyway, I agree with Ruthie -- focus on eliminating wheat.

If you can't give up coffee completely, at least try to avoid having coffee on an empty stomach -- take it right after a meal if you feel you still need it.



My SWAMI diet is a blend of BTD and GTD Explorer, but I'm not totally compliant.  Also I try to choose foods that have a Low Glycemic index.  DW and DD are A+, probably also Explorer.
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jayneeo
Monday, December 9, 2013, 9:33pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Rh- Gatherer
Kyosha Nim
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I have about 2-3 oz. coffee with organic cream! A treat. Then I go to teeccino! yum.
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battle dwarf
Monday, December 9, 2013, 11:25pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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my actual fave (when I can get it) is a green tea frappachino but I can only get them in the big city (45 min away) so I don't get it often.


nothing to do? who has that!?
swami made me an explorer!
married to an AB+ mom to a B+ boy
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Aussie
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 9:29am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from yaeli
This is another part of the strategic: Emptying home from avoids.


Mind against Matter, in which Mind wins. In this respect my kitchen is my fortress, and I can tackle best what's out of sight and of immediate reach. Inside my kitchen I have to do with what's at hand.


This makes a lot of sense to me and is a great goal to have but as with all mothers the kids come first (biscuits, ice blocks in the summer etc etc) then hubby (my third child) and he also likes the coffee, chocolate (which I don't like) and white wine (of which I have too much!) And I will be honest to say hubby has supported me in the past but is too quick to jump on me the minute I eat something wrong which I call "being sabotaged" as then I call it a day and feel a failure.    
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Aussie
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 9:44am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from SquarePeg
I've not given up coffee for the six years that I considered myself to be on BTD.  


This is where the "devil" steps in.  The amount of milk I have in the "maxi coffee" causes an upset stomach. The amount of coffee that I have taken in on a number of occasions has also caused heart palpitations.  Another side effect is I get the sweats. I don't sleep well, so I have coffee to help me get through the day, yet the amount of coffee I drink is possibly part of the reason why I don't sleep well. I'm aware of these things but find it difficult to do anything about it! It's not normal!!!!

I know that I put everyone else first which I truly believe is why I have these ridiculous addictions.  At age 42 I will be married for 20 years in June.  We have never had either family close by to help/support us at all.  My husbands family is and always has been in England and my parents are 700km away in another state and this is the way it has always been.  I'm thinking that finally after 20 years I'm needing someone to look after me (or maybe I just need a break)  I just feel so tired all the time .  Sorry being a sook so will leave it here.  All good though.  
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PCUK-Positive
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 11:10am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer Rh+, NN, (lewis a+ b-) [Duffy Fy(a+b+) ]
Kyosha Nim
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you have to break the addiction with coffee. I found that if i don't have any i don't even think about it but a took a little while to do that. I have been off coffee for about 5 years and maybe am forced to have one once every couple of years, it now does nothing for me thank God.

however stopping coffee is not an option you can take or leave and Dr D is exactly right about it.

it is the cause of many problems, insulin resistance and addiction being two problems. to say nothing for bad breath, teeth staining. cravings for carbs.


It will be wise to aim to stop it not give in to it and think it is not important,

get yourself some good green tea, drink lemon and water in the morning, walk or run if think about coffee and DO think of it as a poison as that's exactly what it is.

the reason it seems to perk you up is that your whole body works at getting out of your system as quickly as possible so you get what you think is a rush. it's actually you body trying to warn you and say WTF are you trying to do poison yourself lol



Kind Regards PC. FIfHI Swami III Pro

Partner (F) is O+(Non) MN. Duffy Fy(a+b+),  Lewis (a+ b-) Gatherer.
DD ( is O+(Non)NN, Duffy Fy(a+b-) Lewis (a+b-) Gatherer
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rosa
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 12:20pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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[quote=7809]
I know that I put everyone else first which I truly believe is why I have these ridiculous addictions.  

aussie, all that you have shared about yourself sounds so much  like me in my forties   Definitely I "fed" my emotions with food, and bread being sooo addictive for us O´s was my main ´crutch´...I gave up coffee and tea(´cold-turkey!¨) about 15yrs ago as the stresses in my life ( & marriage) caused me to have non-stop palpitations which were extremely worrying... I also had piled on weight over the years, felt sluggish, lacking in motivation, irritable with everyone...I could go on...thankfully tho´everything is different now...56pounds lighter & tons more energy than I ever had!

So, along with all the other wonderful advice here..you need to be kind and gentle with yourself. You are clearly a wonderful mother,putting everyone else´s needs first...but if your needs are not met then emotionally you are ´running on empty´...and you crave coffee and wheat in order to try to fill that void...

Exercise/movement of any kind will help with stress, as well as increase your feel-good endorphins!The more you move, the better you will feel,even emotionally.
It also sounds like you are not getting the support you need in your relationship...perhaps counselling would help you find the inner-resources you need to take care of yourself first..you say you want to be looked-after so maybe become just a little more "selfish"...that does not mean neglecting everyone else´s needs,but once in a while do something ´just for you´. I divorce my husband after 20 years,when I realised that I hadn´t ever considered me in the entire equation...trouble is,no-one else did either..Thankfully,life is vastly different now...and nourishing myself with super/diamond foods really is a gift to myself  

No doubt you will find immense support here...the journey isn´t always so easy, but so worth it..


INFJ, Enneagram 9. DH A-, 3 grown children all O+.
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deblynn3
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 1:31pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Ee Dan
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Aussie  you sound so very much like me last year and early this summer.  At forty two could you be in premenopause? The Fembalance (Nap on this site )will help with the night sweats. I now just use black cohosh. Also look up a homeopathic remedie "Sepic" This will help when your feeling that overwhelmed stress. All O's need exercise try walks outside I think we need that sun.


Swami, 100% me..
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ruthiegirl
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 5:40pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI O+ Gatherer, Healing from Fibromyalgia
Kyosha Nim
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I didn't even attempt to cut out coffee until I'd been on the diet for 2 or 3 weeks, and was 100% compliant with everything else. I just didn't want to deal with "caffeine detox" at the same time as "learning a new way to shop and cook" and "detoxing from the avoids I used to eat regularly." In my case, I was ready after 2 weeks because I'd been on a Paleo diet before, so I didn't have to make drastic changes to my diet. I was also very motivated to change because my health was so poor. If it takes you a month or two to get to that point, that's OK.

It's very, very, hard to put myself first when I have kids in the house who always need me. My kids are big enough that I get some down time, but I'm always "on call." How old are your kids, and what's their current schedule like? Is school in session or is it summer vacation already? Will they be in camp or home all summer? (Gosh it's weird to type that when it's snowing outside here in NY!) I'm not overly familiar with the Australia school schedule.


Ruth, Single Mother to 19yo   O- Leah , 18yo O- Hannah, and  12yo B+ Jack


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battle dwarf
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 5:54pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI explorer
Ee Dan
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it also sounds like it is time to communicate your feelings the your dh. he probably dose not realalize how he is making you feel and he never will if you don't tell him. in some odd way he may even think he is helping you when he is doing just the opposite. also you might want to reconcider some of those "treats" for the kids. if they are not good for you they are most likely not helping the kids eather.
just remember, who buys the groceries? if it is you then you have the power to change not only what you are eating but what they are eating as well. if their blood types are different look for cross over foods. my hubby is an a/b. as such he is to avoid chicken even though I can have it I simply do not buy it and use turkey any place I would have used chicken. when my best friend (who is an a) comes over I make a nice big salad with greens we can both have and a fish we both can have or a bit of pan seared turkey. the idea being that we injoy each others company and all stay healthy as well.
hubby loves his coffee but he has trouble with the acid so I get him a low acid coffee (Sumatra is typicaly good) and I have my yerba matte coaco so that I don't even want his coffee. your hubby loves his wine, see if you can find something else that looks simaler to have instead so you can still feel like you have your "treat" but not pay for it too. if our baby ends up being a b I will adjust the groceries again for anything they should not have and look for any I have not tried before that we can all have to fill the nutritional gap. it sounds hard but having all the blood types in the books makes this a lot easier than it sounds.


nothing to do? who has that!?
swami made me an explorer!
married to an AB+ mom to a B+ boy
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yvonneb
Tuesday, December 10, 2013, 6:31pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

I am hunting...
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Quoted from Aussie

Maybe I need a trip to the psych ward instead!!!


Hi Aussie! Spend your money on food instead  
What you CAN do is affirmations...that WILL work!
Louise Hay has written easy to follow books. Basically you make up two or three sentences that you repeat to yourself over and over. It is important to word them in the present tense. If you can look yourself in the eyes in a mirror while you say them it works even quicker  

Example straight out of the book   "I love and approve of myself. I am doing the best I can." And for you add "I love to eat beneficial food. I am healthy and full of energy"
You need to say this like 200-300 times a day (whenever you think of it- it will get easier to remember )- you WILL see change within a week- I promise!

A personal tip...if you can stop yourself for a second before you reach for the bread, ask yourself the question: "If I wasn't eating bread, what else might I like to eat?" Often you will come up with a wheat free alternative. This is my version of "I'll have that drink later"  
If only bread will do...have it. Don't beat yourself up- you WILL wean yourself, we all did!
Took me a year and that was 14 years ago!
Once you find alternatives that work for you it's as quick and easy to fix a wheatfree meal as it is for you now- you are no more lazy than a lot of us here, hence all the advice to have meals ready to go in the fridge at eye level  
Stay positive and take each meal as a fresh start- give yourself a gold star (literally) for every compliant meal  

Best Wishes!!
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Aussie
Wednesday, December 11, 2013, 9:48am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Quoted from jayneeo
this thread is full of wise advise: this is the one i am taking  to heart starting now!
FILL THE FRIDGE WITH PROTEIN, VEGGIES, FRUIT,  and all good things on your list. Have them eveready, handy, easy to access in a moment of need. Thank you!


YES MAM!  

I cooked a Roast Beef last night and purposely purchased it larger than I normally would and have thoroughly enjoyed eating it for breakfast and lunch today. Yum.

We all had a nice salad with roast chicken tonight but yes I do need to go out and restock tomorrow and also get into the habit of chopping up carrots and capsicums so they are just there if I crave food of some kind.
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Aussie
Wednesday, December 11, 2013, 9:51am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

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Also a big thank you to everyone who has posted.  Every single one of you has had very sound advice which I have taken on board.  

It's also a reassuring feeling that despite the fact that a lot of you have probably heard very similar stories to mine in the past you still take the time to help out.  Thanks again!
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