Welcome, Guest.
Please login or register


Main Forum Page  ♦   Latest Posts  ♦   Member Center  ♦   Search  ♦   Archives   ♦   Help   ♦   Log In/Out   ♦   Admins
Forum Login
Login Name: Create a new account
Password:     Forgot password

BTD Forums    Diet and Nutrition    Eat Right 4 Your Type  ›  What would you do?
Users Browsing Forum
Googlebot, jayneeo, jeanb and 20 Guests

 Should I stay home or go?
Yes, go. (21 votes)
91.30%
No, don't go. (2 votes)
8.70%
23 Votes Total Last vote Friday, May 24, 2013, 8:20pm by shoulderblade
You must login or register to be allowed to participate in this poll

What would you do?  This thread currently has 4,095 views. Print Print Thread
2 Pages 1 2 » All Recommend Thread
Tom Martens
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:08am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

O Neg - ENTJ -SWAMI says GT-1 Hunter
Columnists and Bloggers
Posts: 1,015
Gender: Male
Location: Rock Island, IL
Age: 46
We are planning to go out of town to my in-laws home next weekend and my bother in-law has stated that I will have to bring my own food to eat if a home cooked meal is prepared.... beacause of ERFYT.

I had not asked for anything special at all.  My wife had just called to confirm everything and this came up out of the blue.

My first thought was to not go and not deal with any of the BS, even if I bought or brought my own food.

I could really care less about going with the attitude I'm getting.

The only thing at this point about the whole deal is for my daughter.  I don't get to see her as much since I work second shift.  She would still have to witness the strife of this situation so I don't know if either choice is constructive.



Be who you are.  Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind.

FIfHI

M,M LeA+ LeB-

Logged Offline
Site Site Private Message Private message
brinyskysail
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:13am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

explorer~FM~lactose, soy, grain free
Ee Dan
Posts: 1,229
Gender: Female
Location: Bedford, PA
Age: 25
I take my own food everywhere I go, always.  Don't let anyone get the best of you.  I would just take my own food and act like it is totally natural.  If anyone says anything, tell them the truth - whatever ER4YT is personally for you.  If you really were planning on eating whatever was served, then just go with that.  There's no sense in letting a healthy lifestyle cause unhealthy relationships.


There is a good in every bad  
Logged Offline
Site Site Private Message Private message Reply: 1 - 46
ABJoe
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:18am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

34% Nomad
Sun Beh Nim
Moderator
Posts: 8,096
Gender: Male
Location: Orange County, CA, USA
Age: 51
I say take the food you want to eat and go...  

I flew out of state, rented a car, borrowed an ice chest from family, went to some stores to purchase what we needed and went to have a good time.  We shared kitchen time and it was totally worth the time spent with family.  I was having some interesting symptoms at the time, so it was pretty obvious that I needed to maintain as much stability as possible.


RH-, ISTJ
Wonderful Wife = A+ Teacher; Darling Daughter = A- SWAMI Explorer
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 2 - 46
Mark
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:23am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

53% Hunter (SWAMI X)
Autumn: Harvest, success.
Posts: 328
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Be who you are.  Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind.

Really great quote BTW.
Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 3 - 46
brinyskysail
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:25am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

explorer~FM~lactose, soy, grain free
Ee Dan
Posts: 1,229
Gender: Female
Location: Bedford, PA
Age: 25
Quoted from Mark
Be who you are.  Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind.

Really great quote BTW.


caught my eye too


There is a good in every bad  
Logged Offline
Site Site Private Message Private message Reply: 4 - 46
passionprincess
Friday, August 19, 2011, 5:02am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

GTD - Nomad
Ee Dan
Posts: 1,315
Gender: Female
Location: USA
I would take my own food. I am so sorry you are being treated like that.

I am bringing kefir grains when I visit my parents in L.A. That way, I can have my daily kefir and leave the grains for my parents. My parents, though, are very supportive of my eating habits after seeing my progress. My dad is planning on doing a candida cleanse, as well...

I hope that your in-laws will be my sympathetic and generous towards you. Try and enjoy time with your family. Your daughter will have a deeper understanding of the dynamics once she gets older and will realize how much you sacrificed just to spend time with family.


Simplifying my life. Only the best for my body, mind, and soul!

Food: Diamonds > Superfood > Neutrals > Black Dots > Avoids
People: Diamonds > Superfriends > Neutrals > Questionables > Avoids

Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 5 - 46
Drea
Friday, August 19, 2011, 5:04am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI Warrior ~ Taster, NN, ENFJ
Sun Beh Nim
Moderator
Posts: 11,480
Gender: Female
Location: Northern New Mexico
Age: 52
If you are going for your daughter, I say go...for your daughter. Kids are only kids for as long as they are kids. You can't get that time back with her (I know from experience).


Let go of resistance; feel appreciation for what is, and eagerness for what is coming.
Logged Offline
Site Site Private Message Private message Reply: 6 - 46
Victoria
Friday, August 19, 2011, 5:17am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Swami Nomad 56%
Sun Beh Nim
Moderator
Posts: 15,372
Gender: Female
Location: Oregon
Funny, I'm faced with the same decision (to go or not go), but with slightly different circumstances and different frictions.

My own personal conclusion is that for me, the important issue is whether or not I can go with a happy heart and a peaceful mind.  I will not/would not go if I was a loaded gun just waiting for someone to push my button.  If I can get my own self into a state of harmony and dignity, I will go and everyone else can do/say/think whatever they are going to do/say/think.  I will remember that whatever they come up with, it's about them and has nothing to do with me.  It's their issues!  



Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me not pass you by in quest
of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
~Mary Jean Irion
Logged
Site Site Private Message Private message Reply: 7 - 46
cajun
Friday, August 19, 2011, 5:41am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Teacher/Explorer
Ee Dan
Posts: 2,418
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California
Age: 62
Great attitude, Victoria! I like that!
I say go with head held high, smile on face, joi de vivre in your heart, and your own "l'attitude".......let them be the ones with problems if they so choose!


 Ao  ISFJ   Taster   Rh+  

"God gave us the gift of life. It is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Voltaire
"Whisper words of wisdom. Let it be." Sir Paul McCartney
Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 8 - 46
PCUK-Positive
Friday, August 19, 2011, 11:04am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Gatherer Rh+, NN, (lewis a+ b-) [Duffy Fy(a+b+) ]
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 4,874
Gender: Male
Location: UK
Age: 53
any time spent with your daughter is worth it but as Victoria says do it with pleasure and keep the food low key.

perhaps take the chance to arrange some more time with your daughter if you can anyway


Kind Regards PC. FIfHI Swami III Pro

Partner (F) is O+(Non) MN. Duffy Fy(a+b+),  Lewis (a+ b-) Gatherer.
DD ( is O+(Non)NN, Duffy Fy(a+b-) Lewis (a+b-) Gatherer
Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 9 - 46
PrincessMia
Friday, August 19, 2011, 11:25am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator
Guest User
I would take everyone else's advice and go. I like this saying too so I will repeat it.
Be who you are.  Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind.
Logged
E-mail E-mail Reply: 10 - 46
Goldie
Friday, August 19, 2011, 11:42am Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

All Gatherer -70 Scorp/Sag on BTD/GENO 17 year
Sam Dan
Posts: 5,833
Gender: Female
Location: East Coast
PC ... I have to face that situation every weekend.. either it's being with family and a big smörgåsbord.. or stay home.. or eat before I go and then use every bit of self control and look past the food.

YOU are being given on offer to show who the healthy person in the family is.  THE mind is all we have.. but we all obsess to much about the other person.. LOOK at your own reaction to a life situation and ask your own self, ARE you emotionally healthy?  the answer is -----  not likely.. I know what I am saying.. I am often not healthy and it shows in the way I strut, or walk, or feel defeated.. and the others see that long before I even walk into a room.  

I think the way to go there - is to be sure that you are doing the right thing for YOU - Be proud of YOU! and allow others their 'opinions'..

It's like politics.. I am on the other side of 'their' believes.. I learned to get over it, because I know that they are good people, so have no need of MY judgment against them... Religion, similar issues..

Yet the better I feel - the better the relationship. --- It starts with me.

I wish for you to go, but only if you can go with your food proudly carried on your shoulders.. placing it in a corner, being proud to cook and share it, setting boundaries, with your first step into the kitchen.. and flowers in the other hand..

I would make my foods all the most common foods others would be pleased to eat at your party, Let them WISH they could eat the way you do.. hahah  

But truly.. it might be a sign of RESPECT that they (finally) where open and honest ahead of time, worth the benefit of doubt..

MEDITATE!!! and repeat all day.. no worry no hurry.. no worry no..... or recite the serenity prayer:  


Being here is invaluable, but not enough. We need ALL the Doctors. I needed them for a very small cancer spot-I could never feel!!! Please do your mammograms! Doing so saved me from cancer later on. I am grateful! Thanks for learning from my experience! I was lucky! I wish the same for YOU!
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 11 - 46
Easy E
Friday, August 19, 2011, 1:12pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Rh+ Explorer, non-secretor
Ee Dan
Posts: 1,122
Gender: Male
Location: Lafayette, LA
Age: 32
I'm not sure of the whole story.  Maybe it is an adjustment for them too.  If it were me, i would go and bring my food.  They probably don't know what you know about bloodtypes, genotypes, and food.
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 12 - 46
O in Virginia
Friday, August 19, 2011, 1:27pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Swami
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 2,642
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Age: 55
I would take my own food and go.  I'm sure there is a back story here, but don't let your brother in law's apparent hostility toward BTD (which should come as no particular shock to you, or to any of us who do this, as so many people feel threatened by what they do not understand, you know that) deter you.  Perhaps if he watches you eat "your" food he will see that you are not eating very weird things - who knows what he envisions - and you can slowly draw him in to an attitude of acceptance, and who knows...maybe he will give BTD a try himself some day.  If BTD is a cover for some other underlying hostility between you, then that is what needs to be addressed.  Or avoided.  Just my two cents.
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 13 - 46
SandrAruba
Friday, August 19, 2011, 2:13pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

53% Warrior
Ee Dan
Posts: 829
Gender: Female
Location: Aruba
Age: 49
Quoted from Mark
Be who you are.  Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind.

Really great quote BTW.


Totally agree with this. Those who can't accept you for the fact that you have a need for special foods aren't worth the time and effort. Those who care about you will accept you and love to have you there. (perhaps make an odd joke or two)




Logged Offline
Site Site Private Message Private message Reply: 14 - 46
grey rabbit
Friday, August 19, 2011, 2:15pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

swamix 47% Teacher-INFP
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 3,303
Gender: Female
Location: Seattle
Age: 57
I agree, go with a happy heart, act like it is perfectly natural for you to bring your own food, don't allow food to be the focus of the trip. Also, I'd really treat myself well if I were you, since you are an O I'd bring filet mignon!


“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”

John Wayne's last words
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 15 - 46
geminisue
Friday, August 19, 2011, 2:54pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMIED Rh+ G2-Gatherer
Sam Dan
Posts: 2,763
Gender: Female
Location: GOTL, Ohio, U.S.A.
Age: 69
Yes, Go!

This BIL, might not have known how to say it differently, to let you know family is worried, about you getting the food that is right for you, so casually said you need to bring your own if home cooking is going to happen.  Sounds like there will also, be meals out, where you can pick what you normally eat, anyways.

Maybe, were just too sensitive, and know people don't understand our way of eating.

Relax, enjoy the visit, enjoy the time with your wife and daughter and know they are enjoying time with their side of the family.
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 16 - 46
Spazcat
Friday, August 19, 2011, 3:00pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Swami X 40% Hunter
Autumn: Harvest, success.
Posts: 128
Gender: Female
Location: Chicago 'burbs
Age: 51
I think I would go if it were just the food issue, heaven knows I have been bringing food with me everywhere for ages.....even when not doing BTD just so my kids and I could have something wholesome on hand.  

However, if there is more going on than that, if you don't feel you can do this without it draining you or building more hostility in the family, then that needs to be considered.  No one needs more stress in their lives.  If you can go in there confidently, knowing what you know, at peace with that, willing to share if/when asked, AND able to relax and enjoy yourselves a bit then go for it.  
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 17 - 46
Debra+
Friday, August 19, 2011, 3:16pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Eat BTD...Healthy Body... Happier Soul 'Gatherer'
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 5,812
Gender: Female
Location: Kirkland Lake, Northern Ontario, Canada
Age: 57
Wonderful advice above Tom.  I, also, take my food everywhere I go.  Even out of town for a few hours.  Tom...if we don't take care of ourselves...who else is going to do it?  We know how we feel on foods that are not compliant.  I like to feel the best I can and if it means lugging around my food in a cooler everywhere...so be it.  It is also less stress for the others that don't follow BTD/GTD...this way...they don't have to worry about you and if they got your foods right?  And...you are still planting seeds.  

And remember...someone can only make you feel less than you are only if you let them.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion as each of us has our own individuality and circumstances that we've experienced through life.   If you don't like the other persons opinion...walk away.   There is LOVE and there is Fear.  I choose LOVE.

Be impeccable with your word,
Don't assume,
Don't take things personally,
Always do your best
Be skeptical, but learn to listen.
Don Miguel Ruiz

Wherever you go...there you are.  It's up to you on how you feel.

(((((Big hugs)))))

Debra


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." C.G. Jung"

O+nonT

CBP (Certified BodyTalk Practitioner)
Mindscape (remote/distant healing)
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Accunect Practitioner...in training to teach Self-Care
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 18 - 46
RedLilac
Friday, August 19, 2011, 3:25pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI tweaked Explorer Super Taster from Illinois
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 3,036
Gender: Female
Location: Lombard, Illinois (Chicago suburb)
Age: 63
Go and show them how easy and delicious it really is to eat according to this lifestyle.  Maybe they will want to try some of your food.


I am B- NON-Sec Explorer; my son is B+ SEC Nomad; my Mother was O+; and my Father was AB-
SWAMI Thanksgiving present 2008
Revised from Arlene B- NonSec to RedLilac on 3/31/06
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 19 - 46
Jane
Friday, August 19, 2011, 3:49pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

Kyosha Nim
Posts: 3,553
Gender: Female
Location: Metrowest Boston, MA
Age: 70
Just bring your own food and don't let it get to you.  Perhaps they are just concerned that they'll be criticized if they cook something you can't eat.  Don't let it build into something that becomes a problem.
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 20 - 46
ruthiegirl
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:13pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

SWAMI O+ Gatherer, Healing from Fibromyalgia
Kyosha Nim
Columnists and Bloggers
Posts: 12,065
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 41
I admire their honesty. Instead of trying to accomodate you, failing, and then getting defensive if you won't eat what they prepared, they're telling you straight out: "Bring your own food. We'll give you space to prepare it, and we won't be insulted. "

I think this is going to lead to a much more harmonious visit in the long run. Trust me, it's VERY awkward when somebody goes out of their way to try and accomodate your dietary needs, and only get it partly right. Then you're faced with a dillemma- eat the food anyway, even though it might make you sick, or not eat it and insult the hosts. Or there's only one item you can eat, but since it's shared food, somebody else finishes it, not realizing there's nothing else safe for you.

I don't know what their actual intentions were when telling you to bring your own  food, but this is how I think you should "hear" it. They respect your dietary needs so much that they're afraid to  "mess it up."  They care too much about your health to take on a responsibility they're not sure they can meet.

Once you're actually cooking in their kitchen, you may end up cooking together, sharing menu ideas, and you may not end up eating completely separate foods from them for every meal. Or you may end up eating leftovers when they heat up frozen pizzas. Whatever. You're in charge of your own food, you have permission to use their kitchen, and everything's cool.


Ruth, Single Mother to 19yo   O- Leah , 18yo O- Hannah, and  12yo B+ Jack


Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 21 - 46
Joy
Friday, August 19, 2011, 4:21pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

GT3 Teacher
Sam Dan
Posts: 1,320
Gender: Female
Location: Southwest Florida
Oh, go and enjoy yourself.  Treat the subject like politics and religion.  

The first time I read that quote I also thought it was something to remember and act upon in life.
"Those who mind don't matter, those who matter won't mind."  Great!!!!

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

Start packing!!!


Joy
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 22 - 46
Lin
Friday, August 19, 2011, 7:49pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

A+ Secretor, INFP
Ee Dan
Posts: 826
Gender: Female
Location: Maryland US
Age: 59
Tom, I hope you find you feel comfortable about going and take your food and at the same time you can see what they have that works but not feel pressure to eat the same.  Focus on the social aspect and those people you want to see. I love the way Victoria expressed it, you need to feel happy about going.  If not find an excuse so that maybe next time when you get the invite you'll feel more up to the situation.
good luck, Lin


Gluten/Casein and Yeast sensitivity.
Logged Offline
Private Message Private message Reply: 23 - 46
Chloe
Friday, August 19, 2011, 7:51pm Report to Moderator Report to Moderator

42% Teacher Rh+ N1, N1b
Kyosha Nim
Posts: 8,969
Gender: Female
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 71
Yes, I would go....bring my own food....have the attitude that keeping the peace, enjoying myself,
being with my family was the most important thing. I would not perceive the poorly stated directive
of your BIL as a bullied command or one of threatening intention.

I'm sure there is more to the story.....something more to your relationship with your brother in law.
But in the end....don't take this personally.  The way people speak to you isn't about you...it's about
them.  I like what Joy said..."treat the subject like politics and religion"....

Go!

And have a good time.


"The happiest people don't have the best of everything.....they know how to make the best of everything!"
Logged
Private Message Private message Reply: 24 - 46
2 Pages 1 2 » All Recommend Thread
Print Print Thread

BTD Forums    Diet and Nutrition    Eat Right 4 Your Type  ›  What would you do?

Thread Rating
There is currently no rating for this thread