I feel your pain. The only thing that comes close for me is making hummus with chickpeas(or black beans) with cilantro lime juice garlic cumin corriander and red pepper (lots of diamonds for me too)
I'm assuming you want it for a guac substitute. Though it's not the same, it sure has a great mexican flavor. i eat it with celery sticks or just dip my finger in and have at it

Quoted from yvonneb

Would Tahini work? It's very creamy....use the light (in colour) one though, the other one can taste a bit bitter.

Do you shred the kale? I can't picture the finished salad  

Yes I shred the Kale and chop everything else up. Then I massage the kale and the other ingredients with the avocado. YUMMY!!

Oh boy, what a marvellous recipe! Thanks But no, I don't care about guacamole, just avocado itself with salads, for example.

Quoted from Possum

I love avocados but they - along with most other fruits/vegs in the latex related allergy camp - soooo do not like me

I can probably still only count on one hand, how many times I have had avocado this past couple of years...so lately after having the occasional treat of half an avo at times, without as much reaction, I had forgotten I had such a bad experience back in summer...
Sooo after I ate most of an avo last night for tea & reacted...I did some more reading & figured it has to be the high sulphur level in the avo that gets to me as well??!!
I also read though, that to prevent mites, over a third of growers spray their crops with sulphur dioxide
Maybe on odd occasions I have been lucky enough to have had avocado from one of the other growers...?! Hence my inconsistent reactions Ah well; once more for the slow ones...
It is now imbedded in my mind - Nooo avocadoes!!!!
I can certainly think of an alternative to avocadoes??!! Clearer skin!!!!