Cassandra Dwight

It's 2:30 am, and I am still wired from going to class today, so I thought I'd check in here.

My apologies for not having been more attentive to my blogging here. I have been dealing with so many changes in my life that it has been a challenge to handle things without the added responsibility of blogging here, too.

I'd like to say that will change soon, but I don't feel like I can commit to that yet! Suffice it to say that I would LIKE to blog more frequently - I feel it helps me stay more accountable for following the BTD, and it is also wonderful to be part of a group of like-minded people.

As for what's going on in my life, I've just come out of another incredible, life-changing weekend at school, and I am still processing some of the realizations that I've had. At school they often say that this is 'school the way you always wished it would be', and it truly is.

One of my realizations this weekend is that I am very aware of my body and what goes on in it, but that I often ignore whatever it is. I don't deal with the issue, or I deal with it partially and ignore what I've been told I can do to resolve it. As an example of the former, I walked on a broken leg for over three months before I went to a doctor. As an example of the latter, I know what I'm supposed to do to heal my digestive issues, and I haven't followed through on it. I neglect my body's physical needs!

As a result of this realization, I've made a committment to nurture myself by eating to nourish my body for the long-term. Another committment I made is to get a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise twice a week. These are huge for me. In the past, I often viewed these things as "I shoulds" or "I have tos", and the shift is that these are acts of loving kindness toward myself.

So why is is so easy to be attentive and nurturing towards others, and so neglectful towards ourselves?

I'm helping Anne move tomorrow, so that counts as exercise. One down, one to go for this week!



Cassandra

I've started school and am jobhunting, and the BTD has fallen by the wayside a little bit. Okay, a lot. We went out for brunch on Sunday and when my food arrived, Gordon commented that the only thing on my plate that was BTD acceptable for me was the eggs. Oops. Yet in my mind I had justified the bacon, cheese, and avocado as being 'okay this time'. Well, occasionally that is okay, but I can generally find something on the menu that is much higher compliance than THAT! Oh, and it came with a side of potatoes, too. Also, in the last couple of weeks I've managed to get myself hooked on caffeine again*, and last night I tossed and turned until about 4 this morning. I did manage to get out of bed by about 9:30 this morning, but today is going to be a hard day.

And I seem to have done something to my back - yesterday it popped all the way up and down my back in a weird way and I've had a headache ever since. Fortunately, we go back to the chiropractor later today, so I don't have to live with this much longer.

I'm reining it all in again over the next few days - lamb and artichokes for me! (And spinach, and buffalo, etc.)

School is AWESOME, by the way. Amazing program. Here's the link to the Spiritual Psychology program I'm taking: http://gousm.edu/

It's already a lot of work, but I am enjoying every minute of it!

*Blasted Starbucks iced venti soy chai lattes.....

Just when you think you've done the BTD so long that you know every value for every food you eat, life throws you a curveball.

Gordon is still learning about the BTD, and is getting more and more curious about how it all works and what is good and bad for him. (He's given up beef, but is hanging onto tomatoes for dear life.) Last night I pulled my BTD encyclopedia out to look something up, and he started flipping through it and was reading off food values. No surprises on most of them - I knew what was good and bad for both of us, he was surprised by several values. Then he read off "'silver dollar mushrooms' - good for me, bad for you".

WHAT? BAD FOR ME? I'm going to check the status of that on-line and double check it, because I thought they were fine for me, and the latest values are on-line. (Furious inquisition of Typebase IV.) Well, daggone, they really ARE avoids for Os. Hunh. Seven and a half years on the BTD and I'm just figuring this out.

Sure makes me wonder what else I thought I knew, and not just regarding the BTD!

I started upping my beneficials and decreasing my avoids and neutrals and have been 98% compliant since Monday. Still more sugar than I'd like, but I've learned that if I decrease it slowly then I don't get crabby or have headaches for the first several days. Even with just decreasing the sugar and changing the amount of veggies and bennies I'm eating, I've had (lighter) headaches and have been a little crabby in the evenings. But I've also started getting up earlier (6am instead of 8 or 9 or later) and haven't quite gotten down the pattern of also getting to bed earlier. So I'm sleep-deprived AND changing my diet!

I've been getting up to go to an aerobics class at 7am. I went last Friday, again Monday, and again today. Once my body gets used to the activity and I'm not so SORE that I can barely move the next day, then I'll start going every morning. So far I feel like death on a cracker until about halfway through the class, and then I start feeling really good for the rest of it.

I roasted a leg of lamb last night so that I have meat readily available in the house and can eat something straightaway if I need something NOW! I just stuck garlic gloves in it all over (about 15 of them) and put some salt on it and cooked it at 400 degrees for about an hour and 20 minutes. Yum. Gordon had split pea soup for dinner, and I had lamb. We went to the movies last night and didn't have a 'real dinner' - by the time I got home I was too tired and cranky to really cook, but it was easy enough to stuff the lamb into the pot and shove it in the oven. I'd had a big spinach salad for lunch, so I wasn't too concerned with getting more veggies in me yesterday.

Just got back from a four day trip to Oregon. My best friend and I drove up there on Sunday, and drove back yesterday. I'm exhausted. Four days of crappy food, not enough sleep, and no real exercise (except for a nearly 3 mile walk with my sister-in-law who lives up there). I got back last night and practically passed out. Woke up after 9 hours of sleep feeling as though I hadn't slept at all.

During our trip, I had a reaction to something I ate every day. My ears would start burning and were very itchy for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. So it's time to do some serious detoxing and see if I can calm down my immune system. This isn't fun, and I haven't felt like myself for much of the summer, so it's time to get strict about things again and figure out what's going on with my body. I'm going to give myself through the weekend to get rid of what's in the house (or to tell Gordon to put it somewhere NOT in the kitchen) and to stock up on some healthy basics. Come Monday, it will be meat and veggies (and some fruit) for me.