I slept for 9 and a half hours yesterday, from 10 am until the phone rang at 7:30 pm. Very nice. I'm definitely feeling the effects of my cycle, though, as I'm still really tired. Mike called to let me know what the plan was for me to take him to the airport in the morning and to nail down some other details regarding his trip. Then Anne called, upset about her mother. Mom's been really depressed lately and is making comments about possibly not being around when Anne has children, etc. This IS her fourth bout with cancer, and she's extremely tired from the radiation treatments, but that kind of thinking will not help her deal with the cancer. Anne is frazzled, doesn't have the time or energy to help her mom out much, and is struggling just to deal with this herself. And it doesn't help that their relationship is codependent enough that Anne's mom expects Anne to do way too much under the guise of "You would if you loved me", which then makes Anne feel guilty and give in, even if she sacrifices her own needs to do so. Anne's mom doesn't have a very good sense of self-esteem (it's lower than the carpet pad), so she feels the need to be validated by everyone in her life on a nearly constant basis.
So I told Anne that her mom's self-esteem is not her responsibility, and she doesn't HAVE to do anything for her mother, that she needs to take care of herself first, and THEN, if and only if she has the time, energy, and inclination, should she even consider helping her mom do anything. Anne has sacrificed her own health in the past to do stuff for her mom, and she's stretched thin enough right now as it is. She's working two jobs AND doing extra house and pet-sitting and the occasional babysitting job to make ends meet, and she's been getting sick quite a bit lately herself. She doesn't need to risk getting herself sick, nor does she need to spend time with her mom if she is ill and risk getting mom sick while her immune system is down.
I know Anne will do what she feels is right throughout this, and I'll be there to support her AND her mom throughout this as best I can.
I made some eggs and toast for breakfast (at 9pm) and dressed for work. Ran a quick errand at the drugstore - finally got some earplugs, and headed in to the office early so I can leave early to take Mike to the airport.
After ten hours of sleep on Sunday and working all night, I slept 9 blissful hours during the day yesterday. Woke up feeling almost normal! Made dinner, which consisted of an egg scrambled with a little bit of sausage and spinach, and a small serving of blueberries, banana, pecans, and soy yogurt. Then I went downstairs to Anne's to watch TV with her until I needed to get ready for work. While I was at her place I got hungry, and she made me some spelt toast with soy cream cheese on it. I also ate some honey barbecue potato chips. I was craving carbs, more specifically WHEAT, which only happens right before my period. Thus far I have avoided the temptation, but only because I ate the spelt bread and had toasted Ezekial bread when I took a break a little while ago.
This job is interesting - it is the most boring position I've ever had, and I have to wonder how typical it is of call centers in general. I might have 20 calls a night, and they might last up to 5 minutes, so I only work a little over an hour and a half, if that. Last night I think I had 10 calls. When we're not on a call we are allowed to surf the web, read, play games, chat with our colleagues, etc., as long as we are not disruptively loud and are available to take calls. I'm catching up on my reading, and I am enjoying how little I have to actually 'work', but I also want to get out of this position as quickly as possible and get cracking on acting jobs! I've gotten three auditions lined up so far, and I've got to keep looking for more. I *will* land something sometime that will pay enough to spring me from this job, so I just have to keep plugging away. In the meantime, it isn't intolerable. But the hours and the lack of things to do are not easy to deal with. I'd much rather be acting.
Speaking of auditions, I auditioned for a breast cancer self-exam video for the Susan G. Komen Foundation that will be given to doctors to educate their patients. It's about the only acting job for which I would consider taking my top off, which I did have to do for the audition since they have to make sure that the breasts in a breast cancer screening video are a certain size and shape, etc. The situation was very professional, and I really hope I get the role since Anne's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 2 months ago. At least if I got the role I would feel like I am able to give something back, and it sure beats feeling like I can't do anything to help Anne's mom. Cross your fingers for me that I get it.
I have another audition for a reality show next week. We'll see how that goes!
I never made it to yoga yesterday - I fell asleep on my couch at 1:30, and woke up at 6:30 pm and wanted to sleep even more, but Anne was coming over to watch last Thursday's "Friends" and "ER" and I needed to do some grocery shopping, do some laundry, and get ready for work. I threw my laundry in the wash about 7:30 and headed out to Trader Joe's for food. I had nothing in the house to make for lunch, so I HAD to go before they closed at 9pm.
I got a bunch of great, healthy stuff: buffalo, salmon, swordfish, shrimp, chicken pesto sausage, eggs, blueberries, bananas, mangos, onions, pineapple juice, mango nectar, cherry juice, wheat-free bread, apples, spinach, soy yogurt, etc.
Lunch was about 12:30, so by the time I got home around 8:30 I really needed to eat again. Cut up a sausage over some spinach with some tomato, celery, and snow peas that Anne brought me, and tossed it with some dressing. Yummy. Also ate a few bites of lemon soy yogurt with bluberries, banana, and pecans mixed in. Ate more of my yogurt/fruit concoction around 10:30 pm, and dressed to head in to work
I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine’s Day! Last weekend Mike asked me if I would be his Valentine, which was very sweet. So we went out last night and had dinner at a Greek restaurant nearby. I got a lamb platter, he got a vegetarian platter, and we shared as we were entertained by the Greek music and dancing. Good fun!
Then we went to a local 99-seat theater and saw a witty and charming musical called “Don’t Hug Me”. It is about a bar in Minnesota, and the havoc that ensues when one of the bar owners buys a karaoke machine. With songs like “I’m a Walleye Woman in a Crappie World”, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. There were some great moments in it, and we both enjoyed it quite a bit.
After the show, we went to Hollywood and attempted to go do something touristy like go to Mann’s Chinese Theater and see the hand and foot prints in the cement out front. We never even got out of the car. Between the traffic (horrendous), the police (everywhere), the parking (non-existent), and the hour (after midnight), we spent 2 hours driving around and talking, and never did stop anywhere. So we came back to the apartment building and bid each other goodnight.
I was really glad that we ended up at a Greek place for dinner – Mike knows about my food allergies and roughly remembers what I can and can’t eat, but the original place we would have gone to was Italian, and even if they have something other than pasta, my options are severely limited. The Greek place was excellent, and I didn’t have to worry about being able to find something to eat.
This past week has been quite good in terms of diet AND exercise in spite of the lack of sleep. I did yoga or Pilates most every day, got on the treadmill in my building three times, and walked about 2 miles on Friday before I babysat. I didn’t have time to work out yesterday, but I am going to yoga today. And whether it is because of the diet and exercise or the change to the night shift or both, I’ve lost about three pounds in the last week or two. And THAT means that I only have 8 pounds to go to get back to where I was before I broke my leg, and only 13-15 pounds to go to get to what I consider my ideal weight. Yay!
Naptime - I have to work at midnight tonight.
I barely slept yesterday - there was construction going on outside, and my cats were tearing around, and the phone kept ringing, and I tossed and turned all day, even though I spent 5 hours in bed during the day and l went back to bed about 9:30 tonight for about 2 1/2 hours. I'm struggling tonight, and do not wish to resort to the caffeine tempting me from the vending machines.
I was very productive during work last night, and I'm fighting to be productive tonight. Last night I submitted for a ton of auditions, and I already have a couple of them lined up over the next several days. Yay! I also replied to tons of emails that had been languishing in my inbox for too long.
I also had an appointment yesterday evening regarding an acting organization - terrific resource for networking as well as LOTS of industry information. I signed up for training later this month. Very impressive place.
Diet and exercise are both still very much on track. In spite of my lack of sleep, I did a few minutes of Pilates tonight, but had to stop because Mike came over for a little while, and then I had to get to work.