Cassandra Dwight

I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving!

Gordon and I are going to his mother's for the evening, and prior to that I'll be cooking some wheat-free stuffing and something yummy for dessert (also wheat-free).

I'll check in again with an update when I have something to report. Things have been pretty quiet - just busy with school and work!

Well, now I'm fine and Gordon is sick with some kind of flu that he thinks has moved into pneumonia. He got some antibiotics today and should start to be feeling better soon. He was surprised (and a bit miffed, I think) that he got sick and that I didn't. In the past it has been the other way around!

I have a theory about this, though. I think my immune system went on high alert with the pregnancy and is still on high alert, so any bug that gets in my system right now gets whomped immediately. I know that my reactions to foods and environmental stuff has been off the charts recently, so anything's possible....

In fact, Saturday I showered, and shaved using a body wash, which is what I usually do. Used a chai body wash that I haven't used in a while - my nose was too sensitive to use it while I was pregnant. I got out of the shower and my legs were turning a blotchy purple. Major reaction to it! So I wiped Caladryl all over my legs and took some Benadryl. It was one of the scariest reactions I've ever had, and certainly involved a larger reaction area of my body than any other one thus far. Fortunately, between the Caladryl and the Benadryl I was fine within an hour or two. I even tested the body wash on a small area of my arm the next day thinking that maybe it was the comination of the moisture strip on the razor AND the body wash. Nope. It was the body wash. Won't be using that again!

The D&C went well yesterday, and I am feeling much better than I was before the procedure. I already feel like I have more energy than before. I am tired, still, but recovering, and will be resting at home today.

Many thanks to those of you who have sent your love and support. It means more than you can know!

I would like to ask for your support in whatever form it may take over the next several days, whether it be prayer, thought, sending vibes, etc.

On Thursday Gordon and I went to the OB/GYN for our first prenatal appointment. We had the ultrasound, and there was no detectable heartbeat, and it appears that there has been no fetal growth in approximately 2 weeks.

We had another ultrasound today to see if anything has changed - there was a *very* slim chance that everything was fine, but it turned out that this pregnancy is over. I will be undergoing a D&C on Thursday since I have not begun to miscarry. I still feel completely pregnant, and I am having all the typical symptoms and signs of a 'normal' pregnancy so far.

I will probably not be posting much over the next several days as I move through this process. My energy level varies widely, but even at its highest right now it isn't very high. I will let you know what is going on as I feel able to, or I will ask Gordon to post for me.

Also, I want everyone to know that while this has been a shock for us, over the course of this weekend I have moved into a state of gentle surrender about it. It will be what it is, and I am working through my emotions about it as best I can. My intention is to move through this with as much grace and ease as possible.

So please keep Gordon, me, and our child in your hearts and minds over the next few days. I would be most grateful.

Thank you.

Cassandra

I have a super sniffer and can smell stuff from miles away. These smells usually make me gag.

I go from perfectly fine to RAVENOUS in .000000023 seconds, and don't even THINK of getting between me and food. I've been waking up at 5 am STARVING no matter what or how much I eat for dinner. There is no time to 'make dinner' once I'm hungry. Fortunately there are healthy leftovers in the fridge (and Gordon has been instructed to make sure that it stays that way). I'm outeating Gordon, which is a first, and he's finding it a little threatening. I'm not overeating, but I am eating plenty!

Thinking about some foods makes me queasy. Ugh.

I've been re-reading "Eat Right for Your Baby" and it is wonderful!

I'm finding that I do not even WANT anything that is an avoid, and I'm having no trouble eating plenty of veggies and fruit. My 5 am snack was grapes. "Breakfast" at 8:20 this morning was asparagus, sweet potato, and chicken - it was the quickest thing to fix!

I am keeping some O-appropriate snacks around, but I want to 'upgrade' them from things like Luna bars to things like carrot sticks and hummous.... Even though they are wheat-free and fine for me, my allergies do tend to kick up when I eat most grains, and I don't want to do anything that will kick up my already over-active immune system....