The temp position ended up being for all of one day! The liked me though, and told my agency I did a great job, so that was good. Apparently the executive assistant I was filling in for had a death in the family and they just needed someone to fill in until he returned. Oh, well. I wish they'd been more forthright with the temp agency about that.

I have an interview later today with a real estate agency for an executive assistant position, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed about that.

BTD-wise, I'm doing fine. No avoids have crossed my lips, but a bit of chocolate has in the last couple of days. Yum. I learned a lot last week though about portion control and how much (or how little) food really constitutes a serving. I'm being more mindful of that now and I like the way it feels.

Had dinner with Anne last night, and we had a great time, as usual. She has been going through a rough time lately - she and her boyfriend broke up the same week she had to put one of her cats down, and she's still reeling from all that.

We talked, too, about me trying on her wedding dress - we're very different body types and I have NO idea if it would even look good on me, but I thought it would be nice to try it and see. I told her I'd like to try it and she was very touched and even called her mother to tell her that I'd like to try it on! I'm looking forward to seeing it and trying it on.

Gotta go check out this company's website and do my homework for my interview later.

The 1200 calorie a day thing is over, thank goodness! I stuck with it to the end, but did add a bit of food each day. After a tremendous headache the second day into it, I felt justified. And even so, I lost about 3 pounds and 4 inches in a week, and really did work hard to do so. Now, to keep it up!

I'm still settling in with Gordon, and have yet to unpack about 20 boxes in the garage. It is all books and CDs, and we just have not found the right bookcase to fit in the space that we have in the bedroom, and we can't easily unpack them until we do.

It was a fairly quiet weekend at home, mostly. Friday night Gordon and I stayed home, made dinner, and caught up on some TV shows we both like. Yesterday we slept late, and I headed to my workout while he went to a networking brunch. Then we had a couple of hours before he headed off to work at the theatre (he helps out at a theatre part-time on various shows and events because he enjoys working with it). WE were both so tired, though, that we flopped onto the bed and watched more TV! He headed off to work, I caught up with a friend for coffee and some errands, and she and I hung out and had dinner and talked until about 10pm. I then showered, picked out my clothes for the shoot this morning, and got ready for bed.

This morning I got up early for the shoot, drove to the office in Beverly Hills, finished the shoot, and drove back within an hour and 15 minutes. It was the quickest, easiest shoot I've ever done, and I was back in bed by 9:30 in the morning. Then I woke Gordon up and we went out for brunch at The Cheesecake Factory. And I was NOT compliant! I had eggs benedict with smoked salmon, onion, tomato and, of course, the english muffin, egg, and hollandaise sauce. YUM. And I was so stuffed! I could only eat about half of it and sadly (and also a bit proudly) left the rest of it on my plate.

Gordon and I were still just wiped out when we got home, so instead of doing more unpacking or otherwise being productive, we decided to nap a bit before he had to go back to the theater. After he left, I got up and went to scope out JUST where my temp assignment is for the next two weeks, and also to the mall (conveniently next door to my assignment). I need a new suit, and did not find one, but did manage to find some great stuff for the fall and winter. Cashmere sweaters, long-sleeved cotton shirts, that kind of thing - good layering articles, and stuff I should be able to wear to the office (or wherever) for years. I tried on a number of great suits, too, but they weren't cut right for my body or they didn't have the right size, or it didn't do anything for me. The hunt is on!

Ran into Mike a couple weeks ago and he told me he can't be friends with me now that I'm with Gordon - apparently it's just too much for him. I was upset, but kind of saw it coming. Today I received an email from him - first communication since then. He found my blog and was unhappy with some of the things I'd said in it regarding him, even though I've told him these things in the past. I didn't even read the whole thing - I couldn't, and felt like he needed to vent. When I saw it I felt as though it was one of those letters that I often write and then never send. But he sent it. It was a LONG email, too, so I guess he had a lot to say! I'll probably read it when I feel better able to deal with it, but not today. I do hope he also saw in my blog not just my irritation with him, but also how important our friendship was to me, how much I care about him and how painful it was for me, too, to tell him that I'd met the man I'm going to marry knowing that I was risking losing someone else important to me.

I'm off to bed so I'll be fresh for my assignment tomorrow. Tomorrow evening is dinner with Anne, and we'll probably run a couple errands together during the evening, too. I need to pack my lunch for tomorrow and plan on a change of clothes for the evening, too, since I'll go to her place straight from work. I'm going to stay off the sugar as much as possible, too!

Okay. So I am following this 1200 calorie a day program, and it is tailored to my preferences, so it is actually beautifully BTD friendly. However, 1200 calories doesn't seem to be enough food to feed my 13 pound CAT, let alone a 5'10" woman doing an hour of exercise every day. Am I hungry? No, I can't say that my stomach is growling or anything, and the meals are really yummy and healthy - lunch was a turkey burger with lettuce, tomato, and dijon mustard, and sautéed mushrooms on the side. And I had a chicken thingy stuffed with spinach and feta cheese for dinner, with some kind of sauce over it and a large side of steamed spinach. It's low-calorie, certainly, fairly low-carb and fairly low in fat, and tastes REALLY good, AND is BTD compliant, so what's my problem?

Part of me thinks it is just sugar withdrawal, and/or fat withdrawal since I probably overdo both of those (but still far less than the average American, and far less than I ever have). I dunno. It just seems so... unsatisfying somehow.

And today I ended up going to two grocery stores and buying not only stuff that we need, grocery-wise, but also about 10 times more chocolate snacky stuff than I EVER buy. And I'm not even supposed to have it this week! As I explained to Gordon, I feel the need to have it around. If I have it around, I feel like I can ignore it until I can have it, but if it isn't at least AVAILABLE, then I will end up at the 24-hour grocery store at 2am buying bags of acceptable chocolate chips (or something) and stuffing my face with them until I can eat no more. So now at least I won't go crazy because there isn't chocolate in the house.

I've never been one to count calories, especially since the BTD came along. I know that if I eat 100 calories of wheat (especially regularly) I will gain weight. If I eat 100 calories of lamb or spinach or artichoke (etc.) I will either maintain the right weight for my body, or I will lose weight and/or build muscle. All calories are not equal. And I know that if I go low-carb for a few days, I drop weight really easily. So this 'low-calorie' thing is new to me - and I'm used to eating however much I want, EVEN when I'm trying to lose weight.

We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Monday was the first day, and I had a few roasted, salted pecans in addition to the regular meal plan. Yesterday I did fine until mid to late afternoon, then I got a bad headache and we went out to dinner. Even so, I had a few pecans, and then had roasted chicken with apricot sauce, salad, steamed vegetables AND a handful of french fries for dinner. All in all not too bad, and I think that the low calorie stuff combined with eliminating any and all sugar from my system cold turkey was just too much for my body and that's why I got a headache. I considered the fries therapeutic, but they didn't help get rid of the headache. I was in bed early last night, and slept 9 1/2 hours last night. Today, I also did fine until dinnertime, and then I waited too long to eat and ended up eating a handful of dark chocolate covered raisins as we were on our way home from Trader Joe's. Part of me thinks I needed the extra 150 calories, part of me thinks I shouldn't've eaten them.

As I said. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Had a busy weekend - was in my acting intensive all weekend, and had to leave early on Saturday because we had tickets to go to the opening night of "Peter Pan", which is playing at the La Mirada Center for the Performing Arts. It was really fun, and apparently it will be the last tour of the show that Cathy Rigby does. There was a reception afterwards, and I got to meet her! It was SO cool. I remember her from the Olympics from WAY back, and it was this eight year old's dream come true to meet her!

The acting intensive was great, but tiring, too, and something I ate yesterday did NOT agree with me, and during the rest of the intensive I was running to the restroom every 30-60 minutes. Not fun. I can't imagine WHAT it was, either, since I had salmon over spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes, and some wild rice.

Started a 6 day 'fast start' weight loss program today - I'll be following this diet and exercise program for 6 days, and we'll film the testimonials on Sunday. I still have about 13 pounds to lose from having broken my leg last year, and this is a great way for me to get to work out for free for a few days. I was a little concerned about following the BTD during this, but they were very thorough and asked what foods we eat and don't eat from a fairly comprehensive list, so I just checked off what I could and couldn't eat. They are providing all our meals for us this week, and today I picked up my food - for lunch I had salmon with mango-ginger salsa and green beans, and dinner is chicken with apricot sauce and broccoli. Yum! The meals for the rest of the week will be similar - swordfish and a vegetable, turkey and a vegetable, etc. And we have to work out every day at the office in Beverly Hills. So we'll see how it goes! I figure that if nothing else it will get me 100% compliant again this week and get me exercising again, and I can keep that up once I get going! (It's the getting going that I have trouble with!)

So the workout today was 30 minutes of cardio, and then 30 minutes of upper body resistance and weight training. By the time I was done, I was exhausted. I came home and showered and laid on the bed and watched tv for an hour, and then HAD to get up because I have to get my resume printed up and ready for my appointment with the temp agency tomorrow, and then I have to go to a one-man show tonight. I'm still just wiped out, though.

I woke up this morning with a stiff neck, a sore throat, a stuffed up head, and have been lightheaded and dizzy everytime I get vertical. Not good.

So I got up for a little while, thinking that some food might make me feel better, and had a protein smoothie and attempted to do a little yoga, also thinking that might make me feel more grounded or centered. It didn't. I felt more lightheaded and dizzier and also felt like I was going to throw up.

Stayed up for about an hour, and went back to bed for about 2 1/2 hours. Just woke up again and decided to blog quickly while I have the energy. I'm still a little lightheaded and my neck hurts, but at least I'm not nauseous now. Gordon brought me some pineapple juice and Emergen-C and has gone off to run some errands.

I'm supposed to go to class tonight, and then spend the weekend in a Cold Reading Weekend Intensive. We'll see how I feel later, but I definitely don't want to drive in LA traffic right now!

Ugh. I'm going back to bed.