Cassandra Dwight

Last weekend was Passover, which meant eating with Gordon's family Saturday night, and with Anne's family Sunday night. I had decided beforehand that I was going to eat everything I wanted those nights, so I was really careful about what I ate the rest of the weekend. I was still a bit bloated for a couple of days, but I'm already back to where I was before Passover, so no complaints.

I'm in serious workout mode now. A month to go before the wedding, and I want to be as fit as I can be by then! Yesterday I decided to shake it up a little - 5 minutes on the rowing machine, 5 minutes on the stairmaster (which I learned I still hate), and 40 minutes on the elliptical machine.

Food these days (except for my bridal shower and birthday parties) is very strict, but is essentially Dr. D's Healthy Weight Loss plan. A protein shake in the mornings, O-friendly snacks and meals. I do sometimes have 2 protein shakes a day as meal replacements simply because I don't have time to make a full meal. They satisfy me and I don't get hungry for hours. I add harmonia, psyllium, nutritional yeast, and flaxseed oil to my shakes, and drink 'em down (and they don't taste as bad as you might think!).

I won't make my final weight goal before the wedding, but I will be very happy to lose just 5 more pounds in the next month. Easy enough!

Is challenge enough with the blood-type diet. Add low-carbing to that and, unless you bring your own food, you can be up a creek. I was!

Last weekend was Gordon's cousin's birthday party. There is always tons of food at any of our family functions, so I figured that I'd find enough selection to get me through the afternoon. I did get through the afternoon, but not without going off both the low-carb AND the BTD basics! Stuffed mushrooms started off the afternoon, dairy-free, with crab and spinach in them. Turned out there'd been wheat in them, though, to thicken the stuffing up since it was dairy-free. Oops. The only thing that saved me from eating corn chips with guacamole was that the guac was too spicy for me. I did have a couple of corn chips, but did pretty well with that considering the devastation that would have occurred if the guac had been decent. Salmon mousse was next, and it was NOT dairy-free. It was delicious, though, schmeared over come crackers, some of which were wheat, until I found the rice crackers in the same basket. Dinner was pork ribs and chicken (I ate chicken) and coleslaw with peanuts and peanut oil - I ate a bite or two and then passed on it. The baked beans (too sweet, and of unknown variety) were good, but I limited myself to a small serving. I did allow myself a small piece of chocolate birthday cake, figuring that would be my one 'allowed' cheat for the party, but I had hoped that there would be more food that was aceptable for me to eat. Aside from the food options, we both had a good time. Sat in the jacuzzi, hung out with the family and a bunch of 18 year-olds. It was refreshing to spend some time with teens and see how they think these days!

Considering the selection, I did okay - derailed myself slightly for a couple of days, and I'm still holding at 10 pounds lost total, but I can't complain. It has derailed me a little bit since then, too - I've been craving sugar again, so last night I allowed myself to have the rarest of rare treats: CHEESECAKE. I LOVE cheesecake, but usually eat a bite of someone else's rather than subject myself to the misery that follows eating a whole piece. But I was craving it, chose to give in, and Gordon and I traipsed off to the Cheesecake Factory. I did behave in the sense that it was at least low-carb - I had the "6 Carb Cheesecake" that they've been promoting, and it was delicious. With the strawberries and whipped cream they serve it with it was 11 carbs total. Not bad! It also didn't give me the misery that most cheesecake does. Nonetheless, it will be a VERY RARE treat.

Today I'm getting back to my usual low-carb levels, and have been brushing up on the basics of both the BTD and the low-carb lifestyle. I had eggs with ground turkey and herbs for breakfast, as well as three large strawberries. Yum. Lamb will be on the menu for some time today, too - it always makes me feel good and is beneficial for me.

I'm on track to lose the rest of this weight before our wedding! It IS happening! : )

I've been doing really well at sticking to my low-carb version of the BTD. I'm bouncing a little bit between five and 7 pounds lost right now, but I can't say that I'm surprised since I'm more than a little stressed and have been identifying things that affect me adversely. I had sushi the other night with Gordon and his mother and sister, and even though I was really good and had sashimi and two hand rolls and scraped most of the rice off the hand rolls, something in the sushi or in the rice bloats me. Hmmmmm. Rice vinegar? Soy sauce? Unagi? Dunno. But no more sushi until I'm done losing this weight!

I've been eating vegetables every meal, and I put fiber in my smoothies every morning, but things are still moving a little slowly. Exercise usually helps me with that, too, but not so much now. Things are just taking their time.

Gordon has told me repeatedly how proud he is of me that I'm working so hard to get in shape. If getting married won't motivate me, what will?!?! It is very sweet of him to praise me, and I'm glad that he's the kind of man who CAN praise someone's efforts. He also commented last night how proud he is that I've been working so hard to pull this wedding together. We got all the invitations out over the weekend, so it's real now! Or as Gordon said, "It's like a runaway train now!"

I am having trouble sleeping tonight, so here I am....

As for clawing my way back.....

I got complacent, and the occasional cheat turned into a full slide back into some old bad habits. Namely, bread and dairy in various forms, and sugar, in most any form.

So last week I not only reined it in, I stopped all cheating cold turkey. I wish I could say it was because of some magical insight on my part, but mostly it was because I was frustrated with my scale, and I realized I had only nine weeks to our wedding. I'm now eating virtually zero sugar, zero grains, and zero (avoid) dairy). I will occasionally have a tiny bite of dark chocolate (it's for mental health purposes, I swear!) and last night I had a tiny bite of Gordon's dessert (wheat, cinnamon sugar, not very good at all). I keep telling myself that I am allowed to eat anything I want - it's denying myself that turns me into a raving lunatic who MUST eat vast quantities of chocolate croissants or Coke or Easter candy.

I got Dr. D'Adamo's Healthy Weight Loss Pack for Os, and have been having a protein shake for breakfast, and something lowish in carbs and O appropriate for lunch and dinner. I think the plan recommends a shake for breakfast and lunch, but I don't want to do that unless my weight loss stalls. The O protein powder is a little gritty, but is pretty tasty, and does mix well with soy milk or juice. I haven't tried it with water (and doubt I will).

I've also been walking quite a bit (3 miles to the dentist on Tuesday, 2 miles yesterday) and working out a fair amount. I smidge of yoga, a FULL round of weights. I also rediscovered my love for the rowing machine at the gym yesterday. I did 5:30 minutes on it and was complete jelly afterwards. It felt GREAT!

And in the week since I started this, I've dropped FIVE pounds. Seen the lowest weight so far this YEAR. Woo hoo! (I've already spoken with my physician here in LA, and she said losing that much weight in a week is fine if you're doing it right, and she approves of Dr. D's Healthy Weight Loss Plan and of the BTD in general. In fact, she lost about 100 pounds using the BTD, and it wasn't unusual for her to lose that much in a week, either.)

The only problems I've experienced are that I've been wiped out every day until yesterday, and I'm crabby. And I'm talking so tired I can't get off the couch, or so tired that I've taken naps a few days in a row. I think my body is reorganizing a few things right now! Yesterday I didn't get as tired, but I also had caffeine at lunch and then went to work out just before the time I've been getting so tired. It helped. Except now, I have been tossing and turning all night, and it was at least 12 hours from the last caffeine. Grr. And the crabbiness comes and goes, and hasn't lifted yet. My mood has been utterly BLACK some of the time, which tells me I'm addicted to sugar, and is all the more reason to stay away from it.

So I am clawing my way back to balance, trying to lose the rest of this weight, destress, and deal with all this wedding stuff.

It is now 4:23 am, and I'm hoping that the melatonin I took will help me fall asleep. Over and out.

Things are moving along here - I am (for the moment) still temping at the place less than a mile from home, but will probably not be here much longer.

My uncle is out of the hospital and is recovering nicely. My dad's cousin is still in the hospital, 21 days after being admitted and nearly dying from a toxic mega-colon. He is improving daily, and finally got out of ICU and into a regular room a few days ago, which reminds me that I need to send flowers.

I am dealing. Working full-time and planning a wedding is a major pain in the butt. And I'm not even doing everything - my future mother-in-law is handling the hotel stuff, and others are pitching in where they can. I'm trying to lay low this weekend and not do much other than exercise and take care of myself.

Went to the chiropractor yesterday and my chiro said that I'm in training for a big event. Yup. I sure am! She also said that my liver and large intestine were 'mad at me' - can't say I'm surprised since I had cake FOUR times last weekend while we were exploring bakers! I'll be tasting again this weekend, too, so I'll have to endure a little more wheat, but other than the 'required' tastings, I'm doing well and avoiding all the bad stuff. And after seeing my chiropractor yesterday and going to sleep at 9pm, I feel much better today. More centered and grounded, and much less stressed.

Did choose a florist and a baker in the last few days, too. Contracts are being put in place, and things are getting done little by little. The next project is to line up a coordinator for the day of the wedding, and perhaps for a week or two leading up to it. I have an appointment this evening with a coordinator, and then I plan to hit the gym.

It's coming together!