6/17/2004 3:23 PM

Well, I haven’t gone out and eaten off of the plan yet. I guess that I’m sort of stuck on this diet, whether I want to be or not, because when I eat according to plan I feel good, and when I don’t, I don’t feel nearly as well.

I’m eating way too much starch. This all started the weekend before the spider bite and has snowballed ever since. I was really doing well until that point, and I’m not sure what changed. Whatever it was, it is clear to me that I can’t do the perfection thing. My insides (mostly the insides of my head) are rejecting it. As I have said, I really believe in the AVRT (a.k.a. “Norman” voice) thing, but I’ve fallen and I can’t, but mostly don’t want, to get up. It’s very clear to me that eating no starch at all is actually the easiest thing for me, but I don’t know if I’m up for another commitment of that type.

I’m still chewing it all around in my head. In the meantime, it IS clear that BTDing is something that I have already assimilated into myself, and there it will stay.

More soon.