Category: Cassandra's Earlier Blogs
I left work at 7am yesterday, and took Mike to the airport. Hour down to LAX, and an hour back. Blah. And it started raining about 20 minutes after I dropped him off, which made traffic especially nasty since Southern California drivers seem to like to drive just as fast when there is rain and no visibility as when it is 70 and sunny. Aarrgh.
Had about 30 minutes at home before I had to dash out the door again for my first chiropractic visit in three months. Had a couple kinks that yoga just wasn't getting rid of. So headed over to the chiropractor's office (30 miles away, and in the rain) and then waited about 45 minutes while they tended to a guy whose back was spasming. He and I were in the waiting room and chatted for about 15 minutes before they were ready for him - we had a lot to talk about - yoga, meditation, skiing, cooking, etc. He's a chef! And he's going to be working in the chiropractor's new offices once they move next month! And she's a BTD practitioner! This is way cool news! They adjusted him, and then he couldn't get out the door without spasming again, so he was still there when I left. I've been there, and don't want to go back! And when the massage therapist came in to me, she told me that he was asking questions about me and seemed very interested! He seems cute, intelligent, and nice enough, so we'll see. I don't want to discount the budding relationship I have with Mike, but I also don't want to put all my eggs in one basket, either! So I'll probably meet him for coffee some morning and we'll see how things go. He was complaining about not being able to go skiing this weekend because of his back, and said he'd be doing a lot of meditation to get past the suffering of not being able to go. I told him that suffering is optional, and that apparently a quiet weekend relaxing at home and taking care of his back was exactly what he needed, even if it wasn't what he *wanted*. He grumbled in agreement, and we both laughed.
When Dr. D came to SoCal last April or so during his "Eat RIght 4 Your Baby" book promotion tour, I told my chiropractor about his visit, and she showed up, along with her mother (also a chiropractor) and several other patients of hers. So she and Dr. D got to meet, which was very cool for me!
Anyway, she and the massage therapist were both very impressed with the results I've had from working out so much and eating this way, and could not believe that I hadn't even been in the office for three months, which is a record for me! I've been going to chiropractors regularly (and I mean a couple times a month to a couple times a week!) for years now. So for me to come in and not be in major pain after three months is incredible. YOGA, YOGA, YOGA!
I got home from the chiropractor's in the pouring rain, and it was great weather for sleeping. I was in bed by 1pm, and slept until 9:30, the 5pm knock on the door from Anne notwithstanding. She only stayed a couple minutes because I was largely incoherent, and she felt bad that she'd awakened me. I was asleep again within seconds, so it wasn't a big deal.
When I woke up, I had to cook dinner, shower, and get ready to go to work. I spent nearly two hours in the kitchen preparing buffalo burgers, boiling a sweet potato, sautéeing an onion, and making my fruit, nut, yogurt mixture as well as a smoothie for breakfast, whenever that might be. I ate some sweet potato, onion, and a buffalo burger, and a couple of bites of fruit for dinner. Put most of it in a bag and schlepped it all to work for lunch and snacks.
I have very little money the next couple of weeks - I've only had one paycheck so far, and the expenses for the next few weeks are fairly fixed. And considering that I took a nearly 50% pay cut from my last job, I will have to be very careful about how I eat and what I eat so that I can make sure I stay fairly nutritionally balanced for the next few weeks until my budget gets more routine. I know I'll be fine - babysitting jobs are sure to come up, and I can probably postpone one expense until mid-March if I have to, but I'd rather not unless absolutely necessary. So no Starbucks iced venti soy chai tea lattes for a while, and nothing but the essentials in general. I may be making lots of soups!
I slept for 9 and a half hours yesterday, from 10 am until the phone rang at 7:30 pm. Very nice. I'm definitely feeling the effects of my cycle, though, as I'm still really tired. Mike called to let me know what the plan was for me to take him to the airport in the morning and to nail down some other details regarding his trip. Then Anne called, upset about her mother. Mom's been really depressed lately and is making comments about possibly not being around when Anne has children, etc. This IS her fourth bout with cancer, and she's extremely tired from the radiation treatments, but that kind of thinking will not help her deal with the cancer. Anne is frazzled, doesn't have the time or energy to help her mom out much, and is struggling just to deal with this herself. And it doesn't help that their relationship is codependent enough that Anne's mom expects Anne to do way too much under the guise of "You would if you loved me", which then makes Anne feel guilty and give in, even if she sacrifices her own needs to do so. Anne's mom doesn't have a very good sense of self-esteem (it's lower than the carpet pad), so she feels the need to be validated by everyone in her life on a nearly constant basis.
So I told Anne that her mom's self-esteem is not her responsibility, and she doesn't HAVE to do anything for her mother, that she needs to take care of herself first, and THEN, if and only if she has the time, energy, and inclination, should she even consider helping her mom do anything. Anne has sacrificed her own health in the past to do stuff for her mom, and she's stretched thin enough right now as it is. She's working two jobs AND doing extra house and pet-sitting and the occasional babysitting job to make ends meet, and she's been getting sick quite a bit lately herself. She doesn't need to risk getting herself sick, nor does she need to spend time with her mom if she is ill and risk getting mom sick while her immune system is down.
I know Anne will do what she feels is right throughout this, and I'll be there to support her AND her mom throughout this as best I can.
I made some eggs and toast for breakfast (at 9pm) and dressed for work. Ran a quick errand at the drugstore - finally got some earplugs, and headed in to the office early so I can leave early to take Mike to the airport.
After ten hours of sleep on Sunday and working all night, I slept 9 blissful hours during the day yesterday. Woke up feeling almost normal! Made dinner, which consisted of an egg scrambled with a little bit of sausage and spinach, and a small serving of blueberries, banana, pecans, and soy yogurt. Then I went downstairs to Anne's to watch TV with her until I needed to get ready for work. While I was at her place I got hungry, and she made me some spelt toast with soy cream cheese on it. I also ate some honey barbecue potato chips. I was craving carbs, more specifically WHEAT, which only happens right before my period. Thus far I have avoided the temptation, but only because I ate the spelt bread and had toasted Ezekial bread when I took a break a little while ago.
This job is interesting - it is the most boring position I've ever had, and I have to wonder how typical it is of call centers in general. I might have 20 calls a night, and they might last up to 5 minutes, so I only work a little over an hour and a half, if that. Last night I think I had 10 calls. When we're not on a call we are allowed to surf the web, read, play games, chat with our colleagues, etc., as long as we are not disruptively loud and are available to take calls. I'm catching up on my reading, and I am enjoying how little I have to actually 'work', but I also want to get out of this position as quickly as possible and get cracking on acting jobs! I've gotten three auditions lined up so far, and I've got to keep looking for more. I *will* land something sometime that will pay enough to spring me from this job, so I just have to keep plugging away. In the meantime, it isn't intolerable. But the hours and the lack of things to do are not easy to deal with. I'd much rather be acting.
Speaking of auditions, I auditioned for a breast cancer self-exam video for the Susan G. Komen Foundation that will be given to doctors to educate their patients. It's about the only acting job for which I would consider taking my top off, which I did have to do for the audition since they have to make sure that the breasts in a breast cancer screening video are a certain size and shape, etc. The situation was very professional, and I really hope I get the role since Anne's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 2 months ago. At least if I got the role I would feel like I am able to give something back, and it sure beats feeling like I can't do anything to help Anne's mom. Cross your fingers for me that I get it.
I have another audition for a reality show next week. We'll see how that goes!
I never made it to yoga yesterday - I fell asleep on my couch at 1:30, and woke up at 6:30 pm and wanted to sleep even more, but Anne was coming over to watch last Thursday's "Friends" and "ER" and I needed to do some grocery shopping, do some laundry, and get ready for work. I threw my laundry in the wash about 7:30 and headed out to Trader Joe's for food. I had nothing in the house to make for lunch, so I HAD to go before they closed at 9pm.
I got a bunch of great, healthy stuff: buffalo, salmon, swordfish, shrimp, chicken pesto sausage, eggs, blueberries, bananas, mangos, onions, pineapple juice, mango nectar, cherry juice, wheat-free bread, apples, spinach, soy yogurt, etc.
Lunch was about 12:30, so by the time I got home around 8:30 I really needed to eat again. Cut up a sausage over some spinach with some tomato, celery, and snow peas that Anne brought me, and tossed it with some dressing. Yummy. Also ate a few bites of lemon soy yogurt with bluberries, banana, and pecans mixed in. Ate more of my yogurt/fruit concoction around 10:30 pm, and dressed to head in to work
I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine’s Day! Last weekend Mike asked me if I would be his Valentine, which was very sweet. So we went out last night and had dinner at a Greek restaurant nearby. I got a lamb platter, he got a vegetarian platter, and we shared as we were entertained by the Greek music and dancing. Good fun!
Then we went to a local 99-seat theater and saw a witty and charming musical called “Don’t Hug Me”. It is about a bar in Minnesota, and the havoc that ensues when one of the bar owners buys a karaoke machine. With songs like “I’m a Walleye Woman in a Crappie World”, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. There were some great moments in it, and we both enjoyed it quite a bit.
After the show, we went to Hollywood and attempted to go do something touristy like go to Mann’s Chinese Theater and see the hand and foot prints in the cement out front. We never even got out of the car. Between the traffic (horrendous), the police (everywhere), the parking (non-existent), and the hour (after midnight), we spent 2 hours driving around and talking, and never did stop anywhere. So we came back to the apartment building and bid each other goodnight.
I was really glad that we ended up at a Greek place for dinner – Mike knows about my food allergies and roughly remembers what I can and can’t eat, but the original place we would have gone to was Italian, and even if they have something other than pasta, my options are severely limited. The Greek place was excellent, and I didn’t have to worry about being able to find something to eat.
This past week has been quite good in terms of diet AND exercise in spite of the lack of sleep. I did yoga or Pilates most every day, got on the treadmill in my building three times, and walked about 2 miles on Friday before I babysat. I didn’t have time to work out yesterday, but I am going to yoga today. And whether it is because of the diet and exercise or the change to the night shift or both, I’ve lost about three pounds in the last week or two. And THAT means that I only have 8 pounds to go to get back to where I was before I broke my leg, and only 13-15 pounds to go to get to what I consider my ideal weight. Yay!
Naptime - I have to work at midnight tonight.