Category: Cassandra's Earlier Blogs
I am so exhausted. Gordon and I had dinner with his mother and sister last night, and it was the first time I'd met them, so I was nervous and stressed. I met his sister earlier in the day when we joined her and her friends for a dim sum brunch, and I really like her. And she seems to like me, which helps. I ate most of what was put in front of me at the brunch, though. Chicken buns, shrimp rolls, papered chicken, etc. I think there was an avoid in everything I ate. It was GOOD, but not something I'll do often.
Gordon said it wasn't important for them to like me, but they all seem close, and I think it matters more than he would like to admit.
I got only about 2 hours of sleep between brunch and dinner. We went over to his mother's about 5pm, and I took a bouquet of sunflowers with some purple stuff mixed in. She'd told us not to bring anything, but I couldn't arrive empty-handed, so flowers seemed like the best option.
We spent an hour or so on the patio, eating veggies, corn chips and guacamole. And yes, I ate it all. His mom put the salmon on the grill, and once it cooked we all moved inside for dinner. Along with the salmon, we had rice and salad, and it was all good. She'd really made an effort to accomodate my dietary restrictions, which I appreciated. And dessert was mixed berries with homemade fudge sauce. The sauce was dairy-free, but did have corn syrup in it. She tried, though, and that was more important to me than actually succeeding in working around my restrictions. I ate the fudge sauce.
It went well, though, and Gordon told me that I did great, and that I was 'in' with them. He had said it wasn't important for them to like me, but they all seem close, and I think it matters more than he would like to admit. So far, I seem to have passed inspection.
Better yet, I really like them, too!
After dinner, I slept another hour or so, and did NOT want to get up for work tonight. I was supposed to have coffee this morning with a dear friend of mine, but I don't think I'm going to make it. I'm just too wiped out to stay up late today. I'll see if we can reschedule for Friday.
The rest of the weekend was relatively calm. Had dinner with Anne and the guy she's been seeing for a few months, and neither of us were impressed with him. She deserves so much better. This guy has done something every week that is a major red flag to me. Last week he didn't let Anne know if he wanted to join us until after 7pm, and while we weren't doing anything that required a schedule, we couldn't plan anything until we knew what he (and Anne) wanted to do.... This week, we managed to make it happen, but when we arrived at Anne's to pick them up, it turned out that he'd forgotten his wallet. Now, I understand that we all manage to do this kind of thing now and then, but my instinct says that it was more than just forgetting his wallet - that it was something passive-aggressive. And then during dinner he was very quiet, hardly contributed to the conversation at all, and was generally unimpressive.
Saturday I did very little. Got all my laundry done, did some reading, went to Starbucks for some chai tea latte, and then babysat from 6pm to 2am for a great family. The daughter is so cute! She took a bath, and while she was playing she told me that it was the greatest day of her life. I asked why, and she pointed at me and said, "Because you're here." Too cute! Her parents had gone out to hear a band play, so they didn't get home until 2am. By then I was exhausted, had watched more TV than I've watched in the last several weeks combined, and was VERY ready to go to sleep. It was three am by the time I got to sleep, and I had to get up by 8:30 to get ready for brunch.
I was sorry to see that Rachel will no longer be blogging, though I understand her reasons for stopping. I do hope we'll keep in touch, and that we'll be able to meet up at some point when I go to Texas.
In a philosophy class I took many years ago, I recall learning about Plato's Perfect Circle. The basic concept is that a true, perfect circle has never been seen, but we all have the concept of a circle in our minds that we can (always imperfectly) reproduce.
I was thinking about this with regards to several things in my life. Diet, for one. Dr. D'Adamo has presented the world with a tremendous amount of information that continues to be refined and added to, and gets closer and closer to the idea of the 'perfect' diet for each of us. We modify it to suit our tastes, sensitivities, lifestyles, etc., and try to model our diets after this 'perfect' model. We'll never achieve the perfect diet, just as we'll never produce a perfect circle. And I'm okay with that! As long as I continue to strive for that 'perfect diet', I'll be in good health.
I was thinking about the perfect circle concept with regards to relationships, too. The difference with this, though, is that each of our concepts of the 'perfect' relationship is different, whereas everyone's concept of a circle is the same and has the same form. My concept of the perfect relationship for me would be vastly different than my father's idea of the perfect relationship for me, and particularly different than his concept of the perfect relationship for himself. Same for my mother. Same for anyone else in my life, including Gordon. I think it is fascinating that we all have different emotional, intellectual, and physical needs, and this shapes our concepts of what would be the perfect relationship for us.
This came into stark perspective tonight when I talked to my father and told him about Gordon. I described Gordon's personality a bit, and Dad asked several questions - career, height, hair color, what kind of car he drives, etc. His reaction to my telling him how overjoyed I was to have found this man and have him in my life was nothing but judgmental and negative, so clearly HIS idea of the perfect relationship for me and MY idea of the perfect relationship for me are very different. Dad was looking at the stuff that doesn't matter one whit to me, and I told him so. The conversation disappointed me, and I probably won't tell Dad much more about Gordon until they meet and can decide for themselves what they think of each other.
And it looks like they will meet next month. During my conversation with Dad, he said that I should probably look to visit Gramma in the next few months, and that he didn't think she'd make it to Christmastime. When I told Gordon that, he said, "Then let's plan a trip." So we did, and we'll hit the road in mid-August to make the journey to Texas. (Our first road trip!)
Should be a busy weekend for me. Tomorrow I will drop my film off at the drugstore, head to the chiropractor, and then nap for a few hours. Meet with my life coach at 5pm, and then Gordon and I will go out to dinner and a movie, perhaps with Anne and the guy she's been seeing.
Saturday will be a laundry/clean apartment day, and then babysit for a darling girl Saturday evening. Gordon's got plans most of the day, so I'll be on my own. Sunday we plan on going out for a dim sum brunch (where I'll be eating avoids, I'm sure, but I'll try to be fairly good). Nap Sunday afternoon, and then Sunday evening Gordon and I will have dinner with his mother and sister at his mother's home. I'm excited to meet them, but nervous, too. I keep telling myself that we all have Gordon's best interests at heart, and that it will be fine. But I'm still nervous!
I got home yesterday and was asleep by 10:30 am, and slept fitfully most of the day. Didn't get enough sleep. Woke up around 4:30 or so, and Gordon came over and brought me more roses. They are gorgeous! I brought one to work with me, and it smells divine.
We went out to dinner at the sushi place we went to for our third date, and ended up sitting at the same table. The sushi was just as good as the last time, and we both enjoyed the food, but I was tired and Gordon had a headache, so it wasn't an exciting evening. We were back at my place by 9pm, and we both fell asleep. Fortunately, I had set an alarm so I could get to work on time, and it went off at 11:15. I grabbed some salad stuff for lunch with some chicken sausage for protein, a banana, cherries, and some pumpkin seeds. Gordon walked me out and I went to Starbucks to get a soy chai tea latte. I'm weaning myself off them, but tonight was definitely a good night to have one!
I seem to have pulled a muscle (or several) in my leg. Slipped on some carpeted stairs the other night, and didn't think much of it at the time, but when I woke up yesterday my leg was hurting. Now it is quite painful, and going up and down stairs and sitting down and standing up are painful. I forgot to take some bromelain before leaving the apartment tonight, but will take some before I go to bed in the morning. Did take a bath this morning to soak my sore muscles.
My sore throat is mostly gone now, which is good. I'm still eating as many bennies as I can, and taking it easy since I'm still tired.
Have had a scratchy throat for a couple days now, and today it is officially sore. So I went to the store this morning to stock up on broth and juices and beneficials so that I can feed my body well and heal more quickly.
Ran into Mike as I was heading to the store - he and I talked some more about my new relationship. He was none too happy about it, and got emotional again. Asked me a bunch more questions about how things with BF got started, when I signed up for eharmony, etc. He told me that I was special, and 'real' (as opposed to the fake LA-types one often finds out here). I wish I'd know what his feelings really were a long time ago. I would have nipped that in the bud, and perhaps not spent time with him or limited my time with him. And I would have made *sure* that it was clear that I did not want a relationship with him no matter what. I feel bad for him, but I also know that I'm following the path I'm meant to follow, and that Mike and I would NEVER work out in a million years.
After that, I went to Trader Joe's and got pineapple juice, bananas, raspberries, cherries, lamb, spinach, peaches, dates, etc. All good stuff. Got home and put it all away, and then showered and got to bed around 12:30 this afternoon. Didn't sleep very well, though. My throat and the heat kept waking me up, and the cats didn't settle in around me like they usually do. In short, we were all restless. It was 104 degrees outside, and though it was cool and dark inside, we just couldn't sleep. I finally got up about 10:30 pm and called BF and left a message, called Anne and told her I'd just woken up, and started getting ready for work.
BF told me that I'm more than welcome to use his real name on my blog, and talk about him as much as I want. So his real name is Gordon, and I think he just wants to hear that I love him through another means of communication! ; ) Love you, Gordon! (Nothing like the modern day equivalent of shouting it from the rooftops, eh?)
I've been working hard at cleaning up my diet since my vacation, and I've lost three of the eight pounds I put on during my trip. It's a start, and at least I'm almost back to what I consider close to my normal weight. Drank a cherry juice/banana/protein powder smoothie after I got to work, and then had some incredible long-stem raspberries during my break. Yum. And I've got lamb chop and green beans for lunch, and some leftover omelet from brunch the other day (brie cheese, mushrooms, and chicken) for another 'meal' if I'm hungry at my second break. And I've also got lemon and honey to mix with hot water or tea for my throat.
Tomorrow I hope to go to the chiropractor in the morning, sleep during the day, and spend the evening with Gordon before coming to work. Can't wait to see him! (How could I NOT have fallen for a man who kissed me on a streetcorner in the POURING rain and danced with me in the Guggenheim Museum in NYC?)
Went out with BF tonight to a dinner to toast (and roast) a friend who is leaving for law school. It was held at the Friar's Club in Beverly Hills, and there were quite a number of us at the table. We were having a great time, howling with laughter and enjoying the evening, when an old man came towards the table and interrupted us, saying that he would have loved to get laughs like that. It was Red Buttons. I about fell off my chair.
And at the table with him was Sid Caesar and Jan Murray. I was in awe. Jan and Red came over to the table and talked with us and got pictures with us and we all had a wonderful time. I kissed Red Buttons on the cheek and BF and I had our picture taken with him. It was VERY cool. And he said he liked my hair! (How could he not, since it's red!)
BF told me that he told his mother that he's met the woman he's going to marry. I still can't believe this is happening - it's all so fast! So his mom invited us over to have dinner with her and BF's sister this Sunday evening. Aack! No pressure! BF said that they will love me. I hope so!
I have been slowly returning to my usual diet, and am still recovering from my vacation. The hardest part is getting back to my weird hours. I had planned to turn in my resignation this week or next, but since I heard that a shift with slightly better hours may come available, I think I'll stick around a while and see how it goes. If I can stay here and work a better shift, that would be great. If not, I'm going to find something else.
Tonight I had salmon, saffron rice, salad, and green beans, and it was yummy. And I've got leftovers for lunch, and lamb and veggies for another meal at some point either while I'm here or for once I get off work. I'm getting there.
I kissed Red Buttons on the cheek!