Category: Cassandra's Earlier Blogs
Spent a little over an hour with Aunt Jane Tuesday morning over herbal Passion tea at Starbucks - we chatted about our family and Gordon and life and her cats and numerous other things. It was a lovely morning, and we enjoyed our visit. I hope that we get to see her again on our trip to Texas next month. She said Gordon was a 'very nice man' and that he 'adores' me. Yes, he does. Almost as much as I adore him! We also commiserated over how odd my mother is - nosy, opinionated, meddling, etc.
I dropped Jane off, and then went to Gordon's and we talked for a while. He told me that he wants to do everything he can to help me succeed as an actor, and that I'll have a really tough time doing that if I am working full-time, and that if we can make things work with me working less and pursuing acting more, then that's what he wants me to do. I started crying, and am tearing up even as I write this. He is such a wonderful man, and I was so touched that he wants to support me in my acting not only emotionally but in every way he can. So our first project will be to get me an agent so I can start getting some more auditions.
After spending a little time with Gordon, I slept for 8 solid hours, and then we had dinner - chicken, salad, and kashi, and then I made lamb chops for lunch, with salad and cherries. Yum.
I was exhausted by the time I got home yesterday - made a couple of phone calls and was asleep by 9:30. And I slept 11 hours, until one of my cats decided it was time for me to get up and was headbutting me and bugging me to pet her.
Called Gordon, talked with Anne, Aunt Jane, my hairdresser, and left a message for Mike, then made some dinner, talked with Gordon some more, and got ready for work. Dinner was eggs and feta cheese. I was too lazy to throw some vegetables in it. Had no time to cook anything for lunch tonight, so I picked up some sushi from the grocery store on the way in to the office. I'm in training all night, too, so this is a quick blog while we take a break.
In other words, nothing exciting.
Tomorrow morning I'll speak with Jane about our plans, and then see her and sleep, but not necessarily in that order. And hopefully see Gordon, too!
My mother called me Saturday night and said that my aunt had been looking for me - Jane was in town and wanted to see me, but didn't have my number. So I called her and left a message on her cell phone, and we got in touch with each other Sunday. When we finally spoke, I asked where in LA she was, and she was literally 2-3 blocks from where Gordon lives. In all of LA county, what were the odds that she'd be in WALKING distance from us? It was pretty wild! So we got together for a quick visit Sunday evening, and had a nice time catching up on family stuff.
Jane is the first family member to meet Gordon, too, so that was nice. I'd told him a great deal about my family, but he thought I was exaggerating until he heard Jane say the same things! It was a good visit, and I was so thrilled to see her! I'm hoping to see her again before she heads home to New Mexico, and it is possible that we will see her again in a few weeks on our trip to Texas for me to see my grandmother and for Gordon to meet my family. It will depend on whether or not we decide to go see my mother in Missouri - if we do we may be able to take a route back to CA that puts us on the path back through northern NM, which would make it convenient to see Jane again.
The rest of the weekend was filled with errands and hanging out at home (well, Gordon's home). We met some friends of mine for dinner Saturday evening, and enjoyed spending time with them. So Gordon got to meet more of my friends, and they all liked each other.
Health-wise, I've been PMSing these last few days, and although I've been eating fairly well, it's tough to be 100% compliant when eating out as much as Gordon and I have been so far. We did cook at home tonight, and really ought to get in the habit of cooking most of the time and eating out only occasionally instead of the other way around. I'm feeling especially crabby tonight since I got virtually no sleep AND I'm PMSing. I can't wait to get home and get some sleep!
Tonight in acting class we explored grief, and how to get it to come to the surface. It was a challenging night, and the exercise we did brought most everyone to tears. It certainly did for me! We talked about the concept of loss, and what in your life would you be grief-stricken about if you lost it today. It could be a person, an animal, a home, a project you've worked long and hard on, etc.
I was nearly in tears throughout the whole class just from thinking about losing my grandmother or losing Gordon. I know that I'm going to lose Gramma, and probably within the next few months. She's 91, and I don't know what my life will be like without her in it. I don't look forward to it, but I also know I'll get through it.
As for losing Gordon, one of the questions my acting coach asked me was, "Could you go back to being 'I' instead of 'we'? Could I? .... Yes, but it would be a very lonely 'I', that's for certain! I told him what I experienced in class, and he said that he's not going anywhere, and that we're going to get married and have children and spend the rest of our lives together. I cried again, but they were different tears!
I've been eating very well, and have lost all but about a pound and a half of what I gained in NYC. Nothing like thinking about fitting into a wedding dress for motivation to eat healthfully! I raced home after class tonight and threw together some scrambled eggs with onion and feta cheese for lunch tonight, even though it would have been so, so easy to get lunch from Taco Bell tonight since I didn't really have time to cook. Not gonna do it! I haven't even eaten chocolate most of this week, and tonight I ate a piece of it in class and didn't even want it! (It was not the best quality chocolate, though, either....)
Probably won't blog over the weekend - lots going on!
I'm adjusting to being in this relationship now - getting used to the idea of spending my life with someone! This relationship has progressed so quickly, and Gordon is so marvelous, I just can't believe it. He tells me all the time how much he looks forward to spending our lives together, and we talk about kids and what we want out of life pretty much daily. I'm getting really sappy these days, too! Must be in love or something! ; ) So life is feeling more normal, but it is a NEW normal.
Aside from all that wonderful mushy stuff, things are going well in other areas, too. I am eating better, and taking care of myself, and feeling good in general. Spending lots of time with Gordon, and enjoying every minute of it.
I haven't seen Anne in a while, though, and need to! I miss her! I did have brunch with Mike yesterday, and he seems to be chilling out, though he is still a bit emotional about things. But we had a nice brunch, and caught up.