|Healing Setback »|
I’m going through a divorce. For those of you who have experienced this I don’t need to say anything more but for those of you that haven’t I’ll explain a little further. I had been living with the same person for 25 years. We were domestic partners for eight years and married for five (because it was finally legal for us to do so). I’ve been sick for over 10 years with Lyme disease, but I was only diagnosed about 3 ½ years ago. Needless to say it’s been difficult for my partner. I was no longer the vital active person she married. I had dementia for a time and I have continued to have physical limitations due to my illness. It was like suddenly living with a very old person. So even though my spouse said my illness was not the reason she wanted to divorce. I’m sure it played a major part of the decision.
Divorce is difficult no matter when or how it happens, but since I still need physical and financial help I’m finding this new challenge in my life a bit overwhelming. I am finding my way through this, but I believe it’s the most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m asking for alimony from my spouse. I know I won’t get much but I’m trying to help myself in every way I possibly can. Unfortunately my spouse says this is an attack on her and that I’ve lost her as a friend and now we are at war.
This brings me to the title of my article, “why do I want to eat fast food?” I started the Blood type diet in 1999. I have never had very much trouble “eating clean” and staying away from junk because I found I felt so much better if I did. But now every time I pass a Jack in the Box or a Taco Bell it’s all I can do not to pull in. What is it about junk food? Why do I crave it now when I really need to eat as good as I can? Would it help to make me numb? Is it just a way to punish myself? Comfort myself? I’m not sure what the answer is and I know I’m not alone in this. I am managing to stay away from it most of the time because the consequences on my health as so drastic that is incentive enough.
This experience has given me some much needed empathy for others in a similar plight. I’ve often said to people “you just don’t eat it”. But faced with these kinds of emotions I can understand why it can sometimes feel impossible. I want to thank the kind people who suggested that I try some Bach Flower Remedies to help get me through this divorce. They have been a great help to calm my emotions and get me back to my center. And keep me from turning into the drive through window on my way home from work.
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