Breathe. Open my eyes. Smell the fresh air of spring. Feel my heartbeat relax in my chest.

It's over.

I can feel my body shift from the fight or flight syndrome into the relaxed and balance state all teachers crave. How appropriate that spring is around the corner............

I am finally divorced.

Finances are stable,the parenting schedule is in place, and there is a new job on the horizon. It was an awful road and I more than glad it is over.

I have missed this website terribly. I will always firmly believe in preventative versus reactive. Interestingly enough, I will lose medical insurance in May. I am left wondering.... is this a sign? Is it finally time for me to dive more fully into healing my body from within and preferably before a problem arises?

I don't know. The new job is centered around teaching health and fitness principles to brand new instructors. It will be wonderful. I will be able to teach others how to safely instruct the general population on basic exercise principles. That is definately prevention in my book. I also get to travel and a see a little bit more of the world. Who knows, maybe I will eventually make it to Dr. D's clinic on behalf of work!

There is a small sign posted on my fridge: It's a simple scale with God/Family/Work on the top and Sleep/Nutrition/Exercise on the bottom. One could argue that nutrition is more important than sleep, but I seriously suspect it is about equal in my case.

I didn't ignore Dr. D's principles during this struggle. But I certainly wasn't able to focus on it. I pledge to come back and blog nightly.

Let's talk about my disappointment with my supplements for a moment. The current ND I visit is a big Dr. D fan, but she has chosen a company named "Standard Process Inc." I was prescribed Vasculin, Parotid, and Super EFF. Ingredients include:

bovine heart extract, nutritional yeast, veal bone extract, rice bran, bovine liver fat extract, etc, etc....

There are many more ingredients. I just didn't want to list them all. The good news: my skin improved. I notice immediately.

The bad news: I broke out in hives. My body does not like something. And as I took these supplements as directed, the hives got worse. I am upset because I paid for these supplements, and I don't know if I can get my money back. (Probably not.)

Now, I can't help but think: Bovine. That's cow, isn't it? I am pretty certain that is not in my beneficial or neutral catgory. Gosh darn it. Stress has really played a number on my system.

I dealt with an additional problem (it's a little personal- no details this time) and I went to the traditional doctor twice. After two rounds of different types of medications, I finally went back to the health food store and tried something else. I will find out if it works within the next seven days. If it works, I will talk about it then. Geeze Louise.

I did draw up a new budget, and I think I will dedicate 100 dollars a month to my Naturopathic Doctor. I will be much more hesitant to buy supplements, however. She is an O, by the way, and is probably not as familiar with what A's might require. Or.... now here is a wild thought, --- maybe I will just save that money-- and put it toward Dr. D's conference. It gets so frustrating. I know the diet well, but I do not know how to assess my system well enough. I also exercise much more than the average person. My requirements are different.

There is an inexpensive ND degree through a reputable online college. The total cost is only 3,000 dollars. But, I am not at liberty to spend that on myself right now. The next step is to buy a small house or condo for my boys and I. Right now, I am renting a little house in the country and I absolutely love it. But it is expensive and not realistic to stay here. I so wish I could.