Well, it's going to be a little bit lonely this week. Mick's gone across to do some work on the farm before the tenants move in (think painting a whole house in a week along with doing a heap of odd jobs) along with some friends. This leaves me at home with the boys and a heap of time to get things done that I have been putting off. As I started making a list of what I wanted to get done I realised that even if I had an army of helpers, I wasn't going to manage to get everything done in 9 days.

This is somewhat typical of me. For some reason, I'm not sure whether it's my personality or my bloodtype or genotype, but I always seem to put this intense pressure on myself to achieve these superhuman feats. It happens a lot when uni's in full swing and I'm trying to work fulltime, study part-time with reasonable results, have a veggie garden, keep the gardens presentable, make healthy meals everyday for Mick's lunches, have dinner on the table at a reasonable hour and spend time with my also full-time working, part time studying husband.

I know that list doesn't seem like much, but somedays it all seems a little bit unachievable. There's definitely a temptations sometimes to let something slip but it's usually followed by the guilt that somebody else would be managing just fine. What's wrong with me that I can't do it all? Last semester, it was the veggie garden that took a hit, it produced well, but I didn't replant quickly, instead I called it letting the soil replenish (code for I don't have time to replant).

This is similar to many peoples first experience with the BTD. At first, before you get into the swing, it just looks like a big uphill battle. There are all these foods that suddenly you can't have, foods that you've never heard of that you should be eating and you can't buy anything pre-prepared that fits all of the criteria. Some days it just seems like you've taken on something completely overwhelming - the time it takes to prep stuff and cook it seems to take up all of your free time. You feel guilty that you can't achieve the 100% compliance that others seem to be able to easily achieve. As you beat yourself up it becomes more of a focus and it seems even worse that you're not able to achieve something so simple as eating right.

Then one day it clicks. You put in place a system; chop veggies up on a certain day, meal plan, start feeling better and then it becomes second nature. Suddenly it all seems right. However when there's a heap of stress, it can all start to fall apart again rather quickly - timesaving becomes more important and then you start the climb back again.

So, what's the lesson that I'm slowly learning - expect less and support yourself more. In life, this means I'm trying to set somewhat more achievable targets and protect my health first. In BTD/GTD, it means, just remember that even 50% compliance at first is better than 90% of the population will ever achieve. Achieve 80% compliance and you'll be on the way to high compliance without even knowing it.

I'm about to have a bit of time at home in a few weeks and I'm debating whether or not to try doing the GTD. I've had the book since March, when it was released in Australia, and we've measured, re-measured and measured again (for good measure ). As with everything, Mick was pretty easy to work out, he's a nomad by name and by nature. He would seriously be out every night if he could manage it and he always seems to wander. Thus, his measurements were fairly easy. Mine have been a little harder to work out. We've settled on explorer at the moment - it fits with my personality, my lack of a sense of direction and my food allergies.

However, then the issue becomes, would it be better for me than the BTD? Well, according to Dr D's calculator, the BTD is the consistent winner for me, thus I shouldn't change. The Explorer in me wants to give it a go though. Especially the fact that some grains become diamonds. i am a carb addict, so this could be good. It could also be quite dangerous.

Lately I haven't been that diligent with my diet and whilst I haven't had any avoids, I've had interesting eating habits to say the least. Stress has meant that I haven't been able to digest things well and a lack of time has meant I haven't had the same high protein, low carb diet that my body does best on. I have to admit that whilst studying for my final exam I ate a lot of carbs. Think a double batch of Loraine's Pumpkin Millet bread, about a tonne of beetroot chips and a couple of batches of tahini carob cookies. Not a good idea for a stressed O-nonnie. Logically I know I should have stuck to kale, beef and broccoli along with heavy doses of rhodiola. The foods that make me feel good. Instead I went for the ones that were quick and easy.

In my defence, we did eat a lot of beef stews. Lots of stews for dinner because it was easy to put it in the slowcooker and then just reheat it each night, however it's not the same as a fresh cooked meal with freshly steamed veggies. This week we're focusing on fresh food. For the first time in the past 4 months, we have a week where I'll be home at a normal time each night so I can do a freshly cooked meal each night. It also means Mick can't be tempted to have a pizza. I know it's probably not that exciting for other people, but it's a big thing for us to have a normal schedule without late nights due to tutes or after-work appointments!

So, hopefully next week I'll be able to report that things are starting to look up in the health department!

Life has been a bit of a drama lately. I won't go into the gory details here but it hasn't been great. It's really tested me and thus I've been a bad and absent blogger. Still, it's onwards and upwards from here on in and I'm sure that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, let's look at the positives
1. Uni is over for the year!!! Yay. Studying law is fantastic and it is something I've always dreamed of doing, but it is a bit of a time-consuming passion. I have to admit that I love it though and I'm so glad that I'm doing it.
2. I have replanted the veggie garden (with the help of the puppies) and soon we will be harvesting lots of fresh lettuce, beans and carrots.
3. The great friendships I have - in real life and over the internet. Sometimes you forget that there are people who would miss you if you weren't around, but then there are those days where you feel their spirits supporting you.
4. The simple things that we take for granted - being able to see, to read, to speak, to write without fear of censorship or retribution.
5. The farm - it's officially ours and one day we can be self-sufficient. The fact that it's going to be a few years is good because we're able to get clear about what we're doing and make sure that we add to the planet.
6. Knowing what foods are good for me and which ones aren't - so many people just stumble through life without realising that the food that they eat makes a difference to their day.
7. Having access to fresh fruit and vegies as well as organic, grass fed meat. So many people are reliant on processed foods but here in Australia we have great fresh food just about on our doorstep.
8. Sunny days - being able to go for a walk with the boys or out in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.
9. Reading a good book - any good book, and taking the time to savour the words on the page, the visual delights of prose.
10. Having a loving husband and puppies that will go for a walk with me on a Sunday morning; even if I'm having a bad week, they'll give me hugs and happy tail wags.

You could be wondering why I felt the need to share the positives. Part of it is me trying to cope with stuff - I'm listing at least 10-20 things a day that I'm grateful for and focusing on that rather than everything else. The news these days is so full of doom and gloom - depression, recession, economic crises, the sicknesses, the scary elements of society and there is so little focus on the positives. Things that people can do to help themselves or better yet the happy stories - the friend helping someone through a bad day, the funny moments that you share with others.

So, this is a bit of a thank you to those who read this blog and to those on the board who are friends. I am sorry that I haven't been around much but I promise to do better from now on.