I have tried to sit down and write this blog at least 3 times. Where does the time go?

I had a fabulous sunset run. Two cups of coffee prior timed just right- and I would have to credit my brown rice and tofu lunch several hours prior. I have also been eating my Ezekiel noodles with goo goo sauce (peanut butter, soy sauce, a little spice and honey, etc.) There is most certainly an obvious difference in my running and energy level when I eat quality grains prior to a run. Certainly, caffeine can boost you -- but I swear- I feel very different after I eat whole grain versus processed white rice.

I followed my run with a simple water and honey drink. Sometimes one needs a little salt- I added some sea salt to my water, but it upset my stomach. Too much perhaps? Cold water versus warm? I seem to remember something about needing room temperature water versus cold immediatley after extreme exertion. Cold water was an obvious no-no.

I visited the local naturopathic doctor- Dr. Julia Whipkey. She is a big Dr. D fan and has had the privlege of working him briefly ( a seminar or conference, I believe?). She trained traditionally as a nurse, didn't like what she saw, and became a ND through Trinity College. She is also a breast cancer survivor and treated herself. My goodness, what a fabulous role model I have met! Unfortunately, she is planning on leaving Rockford soon. (How soon, I am not certain and for how long I am not certain.)

She took a blood, urine, and saliva sample. Together we looked at my blood under the microscope. How fascinating. Good news- my blood does not clump together inappropriately and ergo my diet is pretty clean! Hooray! Bad news- red blood cells are too few and there is a little bit of liver stress.

I am also low in calcium. That one surprised me. I know one thing- I drink too much coffee. Caffeine interferes with absorption. Many things interfere with absorption. Goodness! What is a girl to do?

I was advised by a friend to juice 3 carrots, one beet, and half an apple. This would provide 100% of my daily iron allotment. Of course, I need more than 100% due to my exercise routine and stress level. I am beginning to understand why Dr. D advises moderate strength training and 'hiking' versus serious running. I have always had trouble absorbing iron and been slightly anemic for as long as I can remember.

I look forward to my next doctor appointment, as Dr. Julia will have studied my samples for 72 hours. She will be able to conclude what supplements I need to add to my diet. We are also seriously talking about a 'detox.' Considering the fact I am an ex-smoker, it makes sense to me.

Meanwhile, I am off to the grocery store for a few simple veggies. I will hold off on buying a juicer for now. I suspect it will be worth the investment, but then I need to commit to making the time to clean that darn machine!

Iron. I have researched this topic so many times. Yet, I am still uncertain of exactly how much iron I need every day and how I am going to get it. Here's what I do know: Under severe times of stress, the body has a tendency to secrete more vitamin C than usual. Vitamin C is helpful in the absorption of iron. Bind that with too much coffee drinking, (Caffeine interferes with absorption), and you are asking for a low energy, bad mood swing kind of day.

Several bruises have appeared on my leg along with a severe crabby mentality. I broke down, poured myself a glass of red wine, and fried a steak.

That's right- I said fried. I used olive oil, garlic, and ginger. The pan was beautifully hot and the steak carmelized nicely.

My energy level went up, my mood improved, and I concluded that I am once again iron deficient.

My sinuses also bothered me the next day. Whether it was the lectins in the red meat or the sulfites in the wine (or both), I traded one benefit for one con.

I started to pull out food items from my fridge. Certainly, many things have 10 to 15 percent iron per serving, and I always focus on dark greens.

But considering the number of miles that I run, or the number of times a week that I strength train, or even the number of times I am short on sleep and high on caffeine, I am simply not getting enough.

I still want to detox with the help and advice of the local naturopath, but an unexpected 500 dollar bill (car repair) put that goal on hold.

Life is about to become super busy. So- before I buy another supplement, it's time to bite the bullet and hook up with an expert locally. I will take all my supplements in, explain what I am feeling, and ask her for advice.

Breakfast was funny today. I raced 6 miles in very hot and humid weather. My friends and I went out for breakfast. Now, everyone immediately grabs a recovery drink and a bagel or banana after the run. I got stuck with the traditional recovery drink because I had forgotten to bring my own. Bananas and oranges are off limits, so I went for the bagel (still an avoid, but at least it was a grain.) I followed it up with scrambled eggs and coffee.

Everyone was so worried at breakfast that I wasn't eating enough. It's not just "calories in, calories out."

I arrived home, grabbed some grapes, and discovered that I am quite full for now. Later, I will saute spinach and eat fish.

My kids will be in school next week. After inspecting the bus stops, and dealing with homework issues, I should be able to squeeze in an appointment with the local naturopathic doctor. My gluten free child still reacts to oatmeal, so his school lunch will be interesting. My older child was found to be low in potassium, which doesn't surprise me. He craves wheat and meat and cheese only.

He may need the calcium for now. So- breakfast will be a compliant cheese and high fiber fruit for my O.

I can feel the effects of this mornings race. My face is tired, and my thoughts are not quite as clear. Fish and soy sauce sounds great! (Need the salt, I suspect.)

Thanks for reading and God Bless.

Oops, I meant to preview that last bit, not save! Anyway- my brain power isn't what it used to be. Over time, studying has taken more effort. But the current "Deborah", the child within me, has leaned toward a more well rounded and holistic approach for years. I envision a small house with large windows and plenty of sunlight. I envision a small kitchen where people are taught how to prepare their healthy super foods. I envision weekly group shopping trips to the public grocery stores, the nearby organic farms, and the local farmer's markets. I believe in rocking chairs, group motivation, and positive coaching.

I envision a true community of people who work in all areas of life, but believe in taking responsibility for their choices. I believe in Chi running, trail running, good friends, and trying to make a positive difference within the world. I believe in the ancient motto "Let food be your medicine."

What an absolute beautiful morning. I can't wait to try and call the local holistic doctor Monday morning. I was going to meet with her for advice on detoxing appropriately, but now I think our visit will be much more meaningful. And Kate Whimster, what a delightful article! I hope to work part time with the local chiropractor, licensed massage therapist, physical therapist, and the local holistic doctor.

It may take me 15 years to finish this journey, but what a lovely yellow brick road I have chosen...................

I am so inspired by Kate Whimster. Her Business is pleasure blog was not only wonderful, it hit home. Who am I? What is my purpose? Which path do I choose?

My goal this morning was simply to put together a 'green' warrior smoothie. I am worried about being able to eat right with the new job starting in October. 3 of my meals or snacks must be eaten in the car. My one year plan was simply to get through the divorce and become financially independent. Of course, I have two children who also need lots of time and attention.

But what about my five year plan? I want to take care of myself properly, I adore naturopathic principles and ideals, I adore the individualized nutrition plan, and I love being in the kitchen.

Goodness sakes, why not try and become a naturopath doctor?

Sunrise comes at 6:01 this morning. I continue to wake up, without an alarm clock, the minute the first rays of pink sun invade my window. My mind was full of "I am supposed to......" but all I can think about this beautiful cool morning is "ReBuild." It's time to rebuild myself.

I ran the state street mile yesterday in Rockford,IL. What an empowering race! I ran the downhill mile in 6 minutes and 38 seconds. One of my good friends took a picture of me as I crossed the finish line.

It's time to put my mental health and physical health first again. Lunch yesterday consisted of red peppers, onion, garlic, sea salt, red gala apples, carribean jerk spice, chili pepper spice, white basmati rice, pinto beans, and spicy stir fried chicken. I stayed away from the chicken and leaned toward the beans. My children loved the meal! They wouldn't touch the veggies, and I made a mental note to offer those diced veggies to them before I sauteed them for myself. But my gluten free guy inhaled the rice, and my O inhaled the spicy chicken. I think I rounded the meal out with pure grape juice. I definately needed that sweetness to overcome the spice!

This morning, it's time to listen to the body and forget the schedule. I need to detox, and spend a couple of days in calm meditation. The weather is changing, the sky is gorgeous, and my system needs to rebalance itself.

I feel like my body has been so blocked. But this morning, I feel - well different. My strength is coming back. I want to get back to my roots. Simple priorities.

1) get enough sleep
2) eat right
3) exercise

Everything else comes after that. So what do I need to get enough sleep? Heartland church and their divorce recovery class. Mental breaks through out the day before the cortisone levels errupt. Less coffee. A giving spirit.

Think I will work on that today. Namaste.

It's Friday, and I have 30 minutes to kill before the next client arrives. Days are packed with trying to get my house set up (the kids finally have beds- but no dresser, no desk, etc.), trying to figure out the new banking system (changed banks, still use Quicken software), and trying to tie up loose ends. I recently interviewed for a new job.

Goodness, let me back up.

The soon to be ex husband and I could not come to terms on the parenting agreement. Originally, he was fighting me for full custody. Now, in reality, he didn't want full custody, but his lawyer made an attempt to ask for everything. It certainly increased my stress level and made it difficult for my husband and I to talk.

I still say - people- if you have children, try to use collaborative law versus traditional. The traditional lawyers really increase the heat in the kitchen, so to speak.

Anyway, we met with a 'mediator'- a counselor - three times to try and iron a parenting plan out on paper. It was horrible. The mediator was incompetent and cared more about forcing us to put something on paper than truly getting us to communicate. Only three sessions are allowed, so I finally said "Write down what you want to write down, but I need one more meeting with my husband before I agree to this. " I met with my lawyer, I talked to my parents, and basically I was almost ready to agree to the plan.

But when I met with the husband, he wouldn't budge on anything and became very demanding. He thought that because we had this 'paper', everything was set in stone. I explained to him that I had done my research and that this plan was just a possibility. Until I signed off on it or agreed verbally, it was not set in stone. He didn't believe me.

I cried and cried that night. Talked to my folks for a long time, and finally decided to dispute the agreement. I shocked my lawyer but basically said "No way." Here's what is wrong with the plan (I will skip the details, and I will fight for full custody. I will not agree to joint.)

Best thing I ever did. Finally, he realized he couldn't bully me into agreement. I need to feel comfortable with the next step (the parenting schedule) or I will not budge. Compromise is absolutely appropriate, but I need to hear him compromise a bit. So far I have not.

Anyway, I talked to him much later. I explained to him ,"I am not trying to steal the kids from you. I am trying to iniate a plan that is in their best interest and is practical. Here's is why I have asked for these things: etc, etc, etc."

He finally started to see. I learned something too. The judge gave us 60 days to figure something out. We have been cooperating and have shuffled the kids back and forth as appropriate. I live only 10 miles away now, so it is not that hard. The children seem to transition smoothly, which was my biggest fear. The school schedule may kabash using Dad for evenings. If I have some event I want to attend, I really need a sitter from 4 - 7 pm, so the kids can get to bed on time.

Ok, enough about that. Nothing is in writing. He admits that it is really hard to talk to me, since I am the source of his pain. I let that comment go. At least, he no longer sees red.

Lots of bumps along the way. My 9 year old suffered a fainting spell at a resteraunt. 5 hours later in the emergency roon, the doctor thinks it's nothing serious, but we were to follow up with an EEG just in case. We needed to rule out seizures. 27 electrodes were stuck to my childs head and chest. Then, he was asked to fall alseep. Can you imagine? I am still waiting for test results, but I believe they will come back negative.

Meanwhile, I arranged for my 9 year old to see the family therapist. He needs to talk about his feelings. Group therapy is not in his best interest (Sensory Intergration Disorder diagnosis, Asperger's diagnosis,etc.) One on one should work for him. It's a tough time for everyone.

So many little bumps along the way! My little house was invaded by ants, the dryer ate my clothes, the hot water heater blew, etc. On a good note, I am surrounded by good friends and a multitude of social events. Church is great, running is great, racing is fun, and I am finally sleeping again (almost.) Now , if I can just get back to eating!

Basically, meals are really really simple. I tried to make pumpkin waffles but used way too much pumpkin. I threw it in the oven and called it pumpkin custard. I literally left it in the oven (turned the oven off of course) and got back to it at dinner time. Leftover rice noodles, chicken sausage, tomato sauce, and shredded cheese rounded out the meal. I am sauteeing greens in the morning, just to make sure I get them in for the day. The kids think I am nuts, but that's ok. I worry about 7 colors for them, but otherwise they decide how many carbs, how many grams of protein, fruits, etc. I let them lead, but I make sure the fridge is full of diamonds and their plates are full of colors.

I am still drinking too much coffee, but at least I have bought green tea. One step at a time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading everyone.

So much has happened that I do not know where to start. The kids are sleeping at the moment, so I may have to leave this blog suddenly if they wake up.

I rented a house out in the country. It's barely cosidered country, as it's just 15 minutes out of town, but it feels like the country. We are close to a river, many hiking trails, forest preserves, and only two neighbors within sight. There are close to 20 miles of trails, rivers, and equestrian trails literally outside of my driveway. Wildflowers everywhere, dragon flies, and yes - even mosquitos.

My soon to be ex-husband is in a lot of pain, and he is still making decisions based on his hurt, versus what's good for the kids. But he is slowly starting to calm down and talk to me. He has decreased his work hours in order to spend time with the kids (amazing- in the past he claimed he didn't have the freedom to do that.) More importantly, we are starting to cooperate. More later.