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I took the kids to the Magic Waters Water Park today. We bought season passes last Christmas, and the price was well worth it. The waterpark is filled with these little "islands". Lounge chairs, picnic tables, and faboulous multi story waterslides perfect for a 5 year old and an 8 year old. At one point, this huge bucket overflows with water, tips over, and pours a large amount of water over anyone standing underneath. Every five minutes, the bucket tips over again. Meanwhile, my five year old and I are attempting to climb up three stories of gently sloping rope ladders. It turns, it twists, it changes into a rope tunnel, and eventually leads to two or three gentle water slides.
The children had so much fun. Josh's occupational therapist, Tess, would have loved this if she had seen it. The rope ladders require quite a bit of balance, coordination and strength to navigate. It's the perfect activity for a child with sensory integration disorder. Heck, it's just plain fun for me too!
Meanwhile, I have been researching 'divorce care' for kids. Basically, it is highly recommended that at least one constant be kept in place after the divorce. It's much better if you can keep several things the same, but unlikely. There is such a thing called a 'nesting' divorce. In this case, the children stay in the same house, the same neighborhood, and the same school district. Mom and Dad move in and out to care for the kids. For example, an airplane pilot might have to work four or five days in a row, so Mom would live in the house at that time. After Dad returns from work, Mom would move out to a seperate place ( a little studio apartment perhaps ) and Dad would take care of the house and the kids. A joint 'kitty' would exist for household expenses, and both Mom and Dad would contribute a portion of their pay to the kitty. It's a very cooperative effort between two divorced people for the sake of protecting the children.
Joshua is both a sensory disorder child and autistic (high functioning.) This kind of situation would be perfect for him. And in our case (Mom and Dad), it would be less expensive long term. Dad has somewhere to go during his long work hours, and I would rent somewhere cheap.
But of course, it takes two willing partners. At the moment, we aren't talking. So what could happen? Maybe the kids stay in the house with Dad and I continue to watch them while he is at work. Or, the court could award residential custody to me and ask him to leave the house. Or I could be awarded financial support and try to rent a little house or safe apartment for the kids and myself. Buying a house would be cheaper as for as a monthly payment, but I hesitate to put down roots.
All I really know right now is that I have to wait for the next court date and wait for the judges decision. Meanwhile, I just try to gather facts, research, and keep my sanity.
I skipped my lemon juice with hot water this morning, and boy can I tell the difference. My sinuses are inflamed, the weather is vastly different from day to day, and most of the surrounded area is flooded.
Sorry if I skip topics or if my writing is a bit rambled. I am tired and my head hurts. But ---- oh am I thankful. My house is dry, my kids are healthy, and tomorrow is a new day. Sleep well everyone.
Just say that you are asking for prayer in a divorce situation. We can get the message without too many details. :)
My parents were sepatated for most of my childhood, and I know it really hurts not knowing what is going on or what will happen. I am 60 years old, but once in a while, I can see how not having a dad most of my childhood affects me. [The happy ending is that he lived with us (in another apt. in our 2-flat) for over 25 years 'on the other end' - ages 60something to 90, so I got him back & my kids had a grandpa!] One never knows how things will end up. Try to do your best & be as civil as you can, but ask us for prayer!
That waterpark sounds like a blast!!!
Glad you guys had so much fun
The nesting divorce idea sounds great if it could be worked out. If it comes to pass.....may I suggest taking the money for the apt or whatever, that you or he stays out when the other is at the house, out of the joint kitty?
I do hope you will be able to work things out for the best of the children. That is a very hard thing to do. I feel your pain. When I divorced my husband, he 'divorced' my daughter. It has been detrimental in her life. I hope your husband proves to be a better man and father.
I love your attitude. It will be a huge benefit to your children.
Blessings to all of you. Hugs, Pat
I'm glad you're all dry and safe. That nesting idea sounds like a good one, I can see how that would be a lot easier for the kids.
Your children are 5 and 8. You have been unhappy for 6 years. Have you looked into whether you have a hormone imbalance or lingering post partum depression?
You are living with a roommate in a rented room, working as the unpaid childcare provider for your own children in your own home. Are you in a better position than you were before?
I would recommend two books to you:
Lord Change Me by Evelyn Christinson
Reconcilable Differences by Jim Talley
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