Archives for: May 2008, 03
Well, this morning I went to the Perth Doctor. Saying it didn't go well would be pretty much on the money. My husband came with me for moral support and it was lucky that he did given what happened.
I guess one of the key things for me is that I have a doctor who understands where I'm coming from and supports my beliefs. That way, I feel confident in what they're saying and am willing to do whatever they need me to do to help the healing process.
Here's what happened, we've gone in, done the usual questions and then come to the "Do you have children?" part of the sheet. I've said "No." Then there was the "So, when are you planning on having them?" To which I've replied, " We won't be having any". We honestly won't. I don't dislike children and I do have the greatest respect for people who choose to have children. Personally though, I do not want to raise a family. I liked being the "on-call" person for friends or using my spare time to work with kids, but don't want to have the parenting experience myself. I realise that this is a tricky area for some people, but in general expect other people to respect our decision as I would respect theirs to start a family.
Back to the story, so then the questions have started "Why don't you want to have children? How could you not want them? Why don't you want to be a parent?". Could just be me, but I'm thinking that if instead had said "We're planning to have them in 2 years" I wouldn't have been getting all the questions. The thing is, part of the reason is that I can't have them without a lot of medical intervention (which she possibly would have realised had she taken the time to get a full medical history and look over my old files) and we agreed that we would prefer to pursue a life together without the stress of taking on that aspect of treatment. We have talked about adoption, but my husband wasn't really for it so we've now focused on contributing to society in other ways. None of that helped the doctor understand though. After that, she stopped listening completely and suggested that all my medical problems are caused by psychological issues and I'm too introspective. Having a child would apparently cure that.
Needless to say, feeling a little lost now. I was really glad that hubby was there for support. We were both in tears by the end of it and are just lost as to what to do. He couldn't get over her change in attitude after the one question and the fact that her whole body language changed as soon as we answered that having children wasn't in our plan. I don't want to go back but also need to find a doctor who's supportive of alternative medicine so that we can make more progress.
The thing is, I believe that some issues are psychological, but some are also inherent structural issues or genetic ones. I work on the psychological aspects and did so with my last doctor (to great success in some areas) but as he said, "Sometimes, it isn't caused by you". Sometimes there are genetic issues.
The other thing is that apparently in her world, diet plays no part. According to her logic, I should be a "normal 26 year old who is out partying and not worrying about what I eat or do". Sorry, but that isn't congruent with my belief system either.
Anyway, back to the drawing board and if anyone has any suggestions, more than willing to listen. I'm off to have some more superbeneficials from the Fatigue book and finish off my assignment for Uni.