I've got a beef: Ever hear that red meat -- its industry and those who enjoy it -- is sexist? We're not talking about responsible vs. irresponsible industry standards, my friends; I've even read that Real Women Shouldn't Eat Meat! Such political correctness, were it to become epidemic, would kill off more O's than did cholera! Great: Massive population control, Peace on earth, and the-repletion-of-the-ozone-layer, once those hunters are out of the way; save the cute little calves, but skewer thy neighbor!

Vegetarian Times? Yoga Journal? How about Responsible Beefetarian and Omnivore Report? Equal time! Any venture publishers out there?

Some ask why vegetarians can be judgmental versus those who don't eat as they do. I say it's only the ones who have no greater faith. Those who make of dietary choice a religion are the freaks, no? In the end their flesh-eating maggots'll push up the same daisies as will mine (even tiny carnivores have the last word, ladies).

Meanwhile, this babe takes hers Prime, Aged, and Medium-Rare. Take it up with my lawyer (or doctor).

Let us close with a hymn: "Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham..."