Today's oblique strategy when I opened up my greymatter page was "Abandon normal instruments."

In light of my PDA cell phone, purse, and wallet being stolen out of my car in Iowa on Christmas day, I'm going to meditate on this. Everything happens for a reason. I may just not know what this reason is quite yet.

Also stolen out of my purse were the brochures for the IfHI conference which I brought home with the intention to show family and friends. It's so comforting to know that these thieves may be reading this blog right now just as typical readers are! My message to you if you are guilty of violating my familyl's property and my privacy: you'll get your karma, if not from me, from the next person you violate. These things that were of great importance to me were not yours to take. You would be wise to return them to where you found them and never step foot on my family's property in the middle of the night on Christmas Day or any day for that matter again.

But if you were just after my credit cards, hope you had a nice joyride to St. Paul on behalf of Worldperks Visa via your gas station purchase. I'm not afraid of you, whoever you are. Hey, you could come to my home and shoot me and I'd just haunt you for the rest of your life. You would go your entire life without ever sleeping soundly again. As someone who has had a haunting experience once, believe me, ghosts do exist and the ghost of me will be happy to show you.

But chances are you are just a stupid meth head and aren't reading this anyway.

"Scratch a Russian, find a Tartar."