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On my “to do” list today – write a blog!
I finished my last exam of my summer classes on Friday. I have been longing for this short time off before full-time school starts in September. I looked forward to being able to sleep in, read, lie on the couch and watch garbage on TV, and generally just have time to myself (something I have been lacking for months now). It is so silly that when I am busy, I dream about how nice it would be NOT to be busy. And then when I have nearly nothing that HAS to be done, I am anxious to start being busy again.
I am just generally feeling “off” since Friday. There are lots of reasons why – I’m catching up on lost sleep and getting back to better eating habits, my exercise routine has been less routine and more all or nothing than I like, I’m feeling the weight of obligation as a bridesmaid in a wedding this Saturday and some sadness over the state of that friendship, I’m feeling lonely because all my friends either left town or have a normal day job to go to while I have 2 weeks off… Saturn is square my moon (August 15-23) too, which heralds a “period of insecurity and self-doubt”. Astrologically, I am also looking at some tough angles starting mid-October: Saturn square Sun, Mercury, and Uranus. That’s what I get for having all my “eggs” (planets) in only a few “baskets” (signs/positions).
Having down time also means I have too much time to dwell on myself and my life (this is the curse of our prosperous society, really). A lot of changes have occurred in my life this year. I welcomed most of the changes, but I don’t adjust quickly. Some changes were quite hurtful to me, but ultimately for the best, I know. However, I also don’t get over hurt easily or quickly and I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately.
In the 6 months since I quit my job and started school, I can honestly say I haven’t once regretted that decision. In fact, I was somewhat unsure (before the moment I actually quit, which was phenomenally enjoyable) if I was really making the right decision. Now I am sure.
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