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The GlutenMonger
Yesterday at Whole Foods Market, there was a vendor table for a vegetarian "meat" product that included amongst its ingredients butternut squash, portobello mushrooms and garlic. The vendor began to hawk in my direction, so I asked her about the product, and then I replied, "Like Fu" (Fu and Seitan being grain gluten "meats" I remember from my Macrobiotic days). She concurred. I smiled and said, "I eat according to my blood type, so I do better with meat itself", and I kept moving.
"Tell me", she called out with some excitement, "what IS this Blood Type thing?"
Me (backing up): Do you know your blood type?
Vendor: O.
Me: OK, then. You, too, need to eat real meat.
Vendor: Funny you should say that: I KNOW you're right.
Me: RED meat is best: Lean grass-fed beef, for instance, lamb - virtually any meat, and poultry, fish, seafood...
Vendor (enthusiastic, nodding): So true, so true! I THOUGHT so.
Me: As a woman, small portions would serve you well, but get some of this every day (starting to move away). Eat your meat!
Vendor: Wait Wait ---
Me: You have customers! I don't want to keep you from---
Vendor: No, that's ok. TELL me about this!
Me (parking my cart to the side): Tell you what: Answer their questions, and I'll wait a minute. (Meanwhile, I take out a pen and note pad, and jot down D'Adamo's name, ER4YT and LR4YT titles, and the web address)
(2 minutes later)
Vendor: OK, go on. What do I DO?
Me (handing her the note): Here. Pick up a copy of ER4YT. If they've sold out in the book department here, you can special order it.
Vendor: Or just skip down to Borders; no problem. I'll get it TODAY.
Me: Great. And if there's any delay, meanwhile think Meat, Fish, eggs; vegetables, fruits, and NO WHEAT or dairy, basically. The book'll give you the details.
Vendor: Wow! I KNEW it was the wheat!! But (whining) No cheese either?
Me: I think farmer's cheese might be ok, and goat cheese? The book'll tell you.
Vendor: I can't believe my luck that you came by! This is EXACTLY what I've been looking for.
Me: OK. (Pushing off) Take care of your customers!
Vendor: That's okay (clearing her tray); I'm outa here.
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