It seems that this is the season for me to fall into a depression after staving it off for so many months. I walked around the edges of it for much of this summer, happily diverting my attention with sunshine, green grass, warm breezes and free days. But with school (Read:Stress) being back in session, the weather changing, darkness coming on, and my recent life decisions filtering through my block head, it appears that the Unavoidable has found me. It’s found me, and hopped into bed right next to me. Talk about an unwelcome guest!

Forgetting the food compliance piece of the BTD, I’ve done everything right. I’ve gotten back into therapy (where else can you go and talk about yourself for an hour and not be judged!!), have been exercising intensely several times a week, and forcing myself to go to bed on time so that I can get 8 hours of sleep nightly. I think that because I have forgotten the food compliance piece of the BTD, things have yet to level out or get better. They are getting worse as I head deeper into the murky woods of this episode.

With tomorrow’s shopping trip to the grocery store, I will be purchasing only bennies and neutrals, thus ending my weeks long spree of sugar, sugar, and more sugar. I also have deflect, and a few other AB friendly products from Dr. D’s store that will make their way into my daily diet. I am hoping with all my soul that this balancing out of my body’s systems will light the way for the rest of my journey through this depression. It’s no fun for me, or those around me, and I’m tired of feeling so detached from the world. On one hand, it is interesting to watch this one from the inside looking out (being detached rather than sad this time), but on the other millions of hands, it is a crummy feeling being trapped inside of oneself.