Yum, spinach quinoa with roasted garlic from Whole Foods deli. The only ingredient on the list that is an avoid for As is the rice vinegar. It certainly is not heavy in the recipe so that's a good sign. Later, in the next couple of days, I'll bust out the pineapple, mixed berries, and salad with honeyed goat cheese. Doesn't that sound delicious? Hmmm...perhaps sprinkle some chopped walnuts on top and drizzle with lemon, oil, and herbs in a homemade dressing? Too easy.

I have also enjoyed sweet potato w/orange maple dressing and broccoli w/hazelnuts (also from WF) while watching Maria, Full of Grace. The lead female was nominated for Best Actress last Sunday and indeed she performed amazingly in this movie.

It makes me sad what people do in desperation after watching that movie. Stuck in a corrupt country with no future. But the movie truly explores the word crisis. I read somewhere recently that crisis can mean two things, the meaning being up to the person the crisis hits: danger or opportunity. Maria saw the opportunity amid the danger.

I only hope that when Americans watch this movie they realize how fortunate they are to live in such a great place. How important it is to protect our freedom. To exercise the right of choice. The choice NOT to support businesses in countries that are corrupted by drug lords, or that do not treat their workers fairly or humanely, and to choose sustainable consumer goods and services. And not do heroin or cocaine or any other drug that requires such extreme measures to bring that drug into the US for our illegal and careless consumption.

Anyway, about that trip down memory lane, keep reading...

Last time I was home I brought back with me this box full of memorabilia from middle school and high school. In an effort to spiritually cleanse myself of the past and live more in the present, the idea was to discard most of the contents of this box. The only thing was that once I began to dig through all the papers, I realized that so much of it is worth keeping around simply for the sake of instant nostalgia.

The most amazing thing is that I found so many wonderful memories of my four best friends from elementary, middle, and high school: Cat, Kerry, Megan, and Sarah listed alphabetically, not by list of importance . Each one of these girls is still a huge part of my life though we are all far apart (except one). This box was full of notes passed in class about boys, Valentines, birthday cards, photos...it's amazing that most of this was fifteen years ago plus and minus a few amazing years. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without these women in my life.

Like a fifth element, sixth sense, what not, then there is Mark (my "other" boyfriend, haha). One of the most important men in my life besides the Grubster and my dad. If he outlives me, I'd want him to play piano at my funeral and even design the casket, haha. All those funny skits we did in French class (I found the script), cards, and other funny memories in this box. I truly think it's time to make a scrapbook and organize all these funny moments!!!

Then of course, the box was full of all sorts of cute little puppy love notes and cards from boys I dated. Those are very cute, but I think it's time to toss them out now. My favorite set of letters that really cracked me up was from one of my 10th grade boyfriends. The month or two we dated was full of all these affectionate letters and cards. We lived in different towns so we either had to communicate by snail mail or phone (and of course back then in the stone ages we didn't have email nor cell phones yet!!).

These letters were full of his yearning, his missing me, and quote unquote his "love." I find it very funny when the word love is passed around so liberally at age 16. You see, he decided to dump me a week before homecoming. Very mature. Definitely true love, eh? A year later, he decided to write to me to see how I was doing and to tell me about his life. Some girl had broken his heart (hmmm...karma?) and he proceeded to tell me that in dating her, he found out what "real love is (no offense)." OK, now here's when I question my masochism and ask myself why did I keep these letters?????

Well, things happen for a reason. A year or two after telling me in these letters how he was going to the communinity college and then take MCATs, go to med school, etc (he was a smart guy with a great potential), he got into some really bad drugs I guess, then dropped out of community college. Not sure what he's up to now. I think he's probably doing better now, perhaps married with a kid or something like that, but all I know is, I wish I could tell him thanks for breaking up because while I'm no perfect angel, I am glad I did not get caught up with that type of dead end to my future. I've done incredible things that I probably would not have done had I been held back by not being able to live out some big dreams on my own as a single gal with no kids. I've traveled to many countries, received a good education, and have met many interesting people along the way.

Part of me, however, feels a bit stuck. Realizing that this 20 mile long-distance relationship in high school was my first taste of far away love, little did I know that 10 years later I'd be using similar methods of correspondance to get through the relationship I'm in now. Perhaps it was just a little practice run for what I was about to encounter in the next ten years of my life. Well, I think it's time to break those patterns. And perhaps even burn those letters (well, at least shred them, don't need the fire marshall at my door!).

I will certainly say that years gone by with Grubster, when we were close, when we were far apart, and now, when we appreciate the need for closeness and the desire to make it work has been challenging. Patience, faith, and love (true mature love this time vs. the apparent high school fraudulent puppy love) have been paramount in holding us together. However, this pattern of distance is one I'm ready to break. It's time to take maturity to the next level and start life together as a team.

Goodbye puppy love letters....into the shredder you go. That really is cleansing...