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…. 0700 hours…as the sun desperately tries to pry the shades apart, Mike Staffieri wakes from a restful slumber, a bit dazed and confused…the previous night surrounded by dangerous lectins lurking in the deep shadows of aromatic and flavorful food, in their den of dens…. the dinner party… hiding and waiting for him to fall into a moment of temporary insanity or intoxication.They do not know that he is trained by the best to resist.
He pulls the blinds open with a forceful tug, and feels the wrath of the sun as it soaks him, washing away the last remnants of his lethargic state. A new day has begun and the first course of business today for the mild mannered Mike is…’must make lunch for my little girl’.
‘Lets see what do have here…lets get a spelt bun…some turkey breast, tomatoes, bit of butter won’t hurt my little O…put it all together… wrap it up…get a banana...slightly open it (because the little one has not mastered the fine art of peeling bananas)…see if we have any Soyogurt left…Ah one left…peach flavor…what to drink…let’s put some cherry juice mixed with some bottled water in her drink container and viola…a lunch fit for my little O’
As I watch my little girl eating her breakfast, I am momentarily blinded by a reflection of light off the side of a stainless steel mixing bowl…like a beacon of light in the sky, it is calling to me. I do not know how much longer I can resist. I quickly stare down at my timepiece and realize I must get my girl to the bus leaving for science camp in 13 minutes.
My little robin and I descend into the deep cavern known as ‘the condo parking garage’, jump into my car equipped with it’s all wheel drive and many other safety features and bullet towards the blind exit into the madness known as the ‘morning rush hour’ Weaving my way in and out, I drive ever aware, for a blue and white could be lurking in the gloom of a wheat breeding donut shop, waiting to trounce. I barely make out the looming yellow behemoth in the distance as the sun crosses my path blinding my coarse. I drive closer and lo and behold…I have reached ‘the magic” vehicle with only seconds to spare. My girl is safely in.
Driving back, with Devo in loud performance from the car intercom…’Whip it…I say whip it…Whip it good’…uneasiness engulfs me. I have waited and fought, I know when I return to my lair, I must do what few men have done before. I must partake in the mixing of dry and wet, of coarse and runny, of dark and light and of sweet and sour. I must…………
This concludes our first suspense filled episode…return next time and hear our mild mannered Mike say…”Watch out…that’s too much powder”