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Arrive at the hospital, which fortunately for me was a five minute cab drive a way. Greeted at the
main reception by an elderly volunteer who scanned his papers for my name and directed me to an available hospital employee who registered me. The young pregnant lady behind the counter, took my info and out of the blue says to me….’you look like a cyclist, have you been watching the Tour de France’. I explained to her it was my prime choice of exercise and that I would probably be spending the next 11 days watching it for I knew I would be spending most of my time on the couch after my operation.
I spent the next 45 minutes in a lounge with other day surgery people. Most were coming in for eye cataract operations. There was a young woman beside me who was chatting in an audible tone about her breast reduction operation (a few days of a stay). I found out she was a gymnast and ‘they’ were getting in the way. Read an article in a local magazine about this Dutch sculpture that
had reproduced, using 4 large cylinders and various chemicals, the human digestive system. Each cylinder and it’s enclosed liquid (enzymes, alkaline and acids of some sort) represented the mouth, stomach, large intestine and small intestine with a few other gadgets the represented the liver, pancreas and gall bladder. He would feed it good food (failed to mention what) and would sell the waste…. yes sell it…. to any one who would buy it…apparently there were takers. The article
did mention that the machine did break down on many occasions (obviously fed it the wrong foods or was it sensitive to some food lectins?)
I finally got changed into some hospital wear with the nice paper slippers and went to see a nurse who asked me if I had taken any herbs or medicines in the last 24 hours, I explained to her that I was taking Horsetail for the last two weeks which kind of raised her brow and I knew a why was coming so I explained to her that My blood type O had blood that did not clot very easily and the horsetail would help. Checked my blood pressure, which was 125 over 80, and my heart rate, which was normal and barraged me with a load of questions re: my health, which I all answered no to. Asked me not to take aspirin after the operation…’blood thinner’.
Strapped onto the operation table with my arms stretched out like JC and the anesthetist ready to do his thing. Preceded to give me a mild sedative before putting me out. I warmed him he better put me out soon unless he wanted to hear my rendition of “Roxanne”. What can I say…sedatives make me sing. He took my advice for it must have been 20 seconds before I faded to black.
I woke up which seemed to me like a second after I went out in another room with a very large bandage protruding out of right side. First words out of my mouth 20 seconds after I was staring at the bandage was…’Morphine Please!’ It took that long for my brain to register the pain and discomfort. Also the room felt more like a meat locker (every O should have one) for it was cold and the nice nurse wrapped me in some very warm blankets. Spent the next 2 hours in a waiting room with many people looking at me with their one good eye wondering what I was in for as the drip finally began to do it’s stuff.
Time to go home. Apparently a 4-day stay in the hospital followed these operations but because of cuts in budget from our 100% government subsidized health care…everyone gets the same care here in Canada… I was going home 5 hours and some after I came in. I dressed but was unable to get my socks on. Picked up by my Dad…I was not allowed to go home unattended for the first 24 hours…nurse gave me a prescription for Tylenol III for the discomfort. First thing I popped in my mouth were two 500mg tablets of Bromelien after I asked the nurse for a glass of water.
Well here I sit with 5 staples in my lower right gut (always wanted to get my body pierced) thinking how lucky I am living in the 21st century for I’m sure my ancestors say of 200 years or more would have had to live with a hernia and the eventual disfigurement and discomfort and death?
Thanks to everyone who sent me emails…made my discomfort the last 4 days seem a lot more bearable. I feel like going to work tomorrow, but I’m going to call the doctor’s office to see if it’s a good idea this early after the operation.