I just finished the last two disks of an anime called Lain. I can't get over it. It was so sad at the end. It's a 4 disk series. THe last two were beautifully abstract and made little sense until the last episode and now I'm balling my eyes out and my brain is in a state of tragic confusion. So many questions left unanswered with this one (just like my all time favorite Neon Genesis Evangelion) But this anime leaves you on such a depressing note, I'm having a hard time getting over it. I know, you're going to say "but it's just a movie." But I'm like that - I tend to throw myself into the theatre and look where it gets me.....all sad and philosophical. I can't write much, I need to go to bed and think and ponder. I think I find it so sad because in the end the main character is left alone. She seems to come to some sort of terms about it but I don't really think so. But that could be just me. AB's hate being alone.

Being compliant is difficult but my body is definately enjoying it. I prefer being clear for when I have these deep-thought break-troughs/meltdowns. I just get so emotional, especially about people. Even a character is the essence of a person.....some person.....someone had to come up with that character for it to be there so on some strange level or on a giant scale perhaps, we will one day meet that person since there are so many people and feelings in the world.

This is a strange log.....sorry for those of you used to all the food - will get back to normal by next entry. I'm just in such a state of.......I don't know.......sorrowful agitation over something that in it's material form is simply a bunch of moving papers. Strange how art can affect you.