Dear BTD'ers and friends...to describe to you the sheer lunacy of my situation would mean turning the world on it's head, dancing naked by the light of a crescent moon and offering sacrificial mustard greens to the barely benevolent gods of all things that go bump in the night.

Or maybe I'm over-reacting. A lot.

There's a quote in ER4YT describing us AB fiends (yes, fiends...) as having "a spiritual, somewhat flaky nature that embraces all aspects of life without being particularly aware of the consequences" (p. 225). That's real nice...but oh so true, at least for me. Obviously I'm not an irresponsible person; I'm an excellent teacher, a good friend and a loyal companion who'll back you up when other's might leave. However, I am a flake.

Hullo, my name is Amanda, and I am a flake. It has been three weeks since my last meeting...

To me, being a flake is fun b/c I get to try all of the things that capture my interest, and grant myself full permission to leave them behind when I'm diverted to another course, with the caveat that I can returen to them at will. This goes for food, conversation, travel, hobbies--you name it. I used to do it to people, but grew up a bit and became more sensitive to others feelings.

Anyhow, how does this apply to the lunacy mentioned near the top of this blog? Well, I'm "home," meaning Mom's House helping to take care of some pretty bad family health issues. The situation is worse than I expected in some ways, and better in others. My primary concern (after the PRIMARY concern) is to keep me well.

So of course I forgot my BTD stuff in Cali.

My flaky nature does not permit a huge memory capacity for bennies and avoids, so I picked up ER4YT and LR4TY at the library. So, if you read the blog below this one, you know that I had a few avoids last week, but went to the market myself and have bennies stocked for this week. I've turned on some old buddies in the 'hood to ER4TY...so we may have some new converts to the legions soon... Until next time (whenever and wherever that may be!)...be well, stay compliant and smile!

Oh! I forgot, another good quote, this one out of LR4YT: "...add life to our years and years to our life" (p. 326). I hereby announce that I'm stealing this phrase and changing it for you dear readers...

May you all add life to your years and years to your life...

I love checkerboard patterns…and mish-moshes of color, sight and sound…

I think that I may have very real, treatable personality problems…but in the meantime, I’ll enjoy being me and continue writing to you, darlin’ BTD dieters and friends.

Good news: Today is the last day of classes.

Better news: I’m done with all assignments (except the thesis this summer).

Not-sure-what-kind-of-news: Going “home” tomorrow to help family.

Regardless to anything that may or may not happen in Upstate NY over the next couple of weeks, my CR4YT is coming with me and I’ll probably be doing the grocery shopping, so I can get’s me my own compliant foods. As I’ll probably be cooking a fair amount, I’ll be able to prepare said compliant foods for my living pleasure. I think that the time spent home will be good (I can make it such, no?), and I’ll have access to a vehicle, so I can run away to SUNY and crank out my thesis when feeling too overwhelmed. (This false intimacy of blogging is a nice thing right now…thank you for allowing me to post personal blogs without specifics to work through some of the angst in my soul occurring at the moment.)

In the meantime, I'm off to run errands before hitting the pool and going to my last to classes for the whole Master's degree! Thank goodness!! It's been a long haul this year...

Until tomorrow, be well and smile...

Omigosh! I had the yummiest breakfast today ever! I don’t know if it’s legal to have such a perfect start to one’s day…all I need is my lake in the Adirondacks and I’d be at complete peace with the world. I had marinated Orange Roughy that I didn’t get to cook for dinner last night with rice and zucchini. Okay, here’s what I did: marinade—tiny bit of olive oil, thyme, parsley, garlic, sage, rosemary and blackened seasoning all mixed into the fish in a plastic bag overnight (this overnight thing may be the trick…). The rest was simply a matter of throwing the fish in some foil on the grill (thereby steaming it) with the zucchini sliced in half (longways) also on the grill. The rice came out of the rice cooker… That’s it, no butter, no additional spices, nothing…it was bliss on a plate! I’m psyched because I still have half of the fillet and zucchini left to enjoy with lunch…

On other notes, life here is chugging along fine. But I’m not thrilled with simply chugging. I’ll be done with classes tomorrow (only the thesis left for the summer) and am leaving for home (Upstate NY) on Tuesday. I’ll be dealing with some family health stuff there for a couple of weeks (with a few weddings thrown in). I will have time for reflection and journaling whilst in NY, but will still be pretty pressured and busy. I yearn for solitude and quietness. It has been such a hectic year (academically, financially, everything), that I want a slower pace so that I can go gentle with my self (rather than just saying that I will) and savor the special moments in each moment. I’m considering reconsidering the PhD to just go back to work in the classroom and enjoy my personal life. I have a year to think about it regardless (won’t start any doctorate until 2005), and will carefully consider what exactly it is that I want for the next couple of years. The point is that I don’t know if I want to continue “chugging along” for the next couple of years, or if I want to really enjoy my TIME before my little ones arrive. Once I become a mother, there’s no question that it’ll be all about “them,” not me anymore…so maybe I want to really enjoy my me time now.

(Notice that if I keep on this train of thought, it will lead to a very elaborate homework avoidance scheme…I only have one case study left to do for the whole program [except for the rest of the thesis this summer], and I’m grilling for b-fast, contemplating my life, doing laundry and dishes, submitting rambling blogs…tee hee…I’ll do anything to get out of homework!!)

Okay, BTD dieters and friends, now that I’ve busted myself for procrastinating, I’ll sign out here. CASE STUDY, HERE I COME!! I was serious about the not being sure what I want to do with my self over the next couple of years, but there’s plenty of time for reflection about that after the dreaded assignment is complete!

Here’s hoping that this finds you all well and happy…take care of you…smile…breathe…relax…enjoy…

Hey y’all, sorry it’s been nearly a week since my last blog. The good news is that I’ve been highly compliant to the diet and am feeling great! It’s so funny; I had a chance to catch up on the phone with a dear friend with whom I haven’t spoken in months. As I extolled the many “dramas” occurring for me ALL AT ONCE right now, she said, “But you sound great! So calm and relaxed.” Bless her heart, because she’s one of those friends that tells me when my butt looks big in a certain pair of jeans, so I can trust her word.

As I enjoy my green tea this morning, I realize that she’s right. The only thing that’s missing from my life right now are actual, tangible devices of torture like knuckle screws and the like. I’m nearly tapped out physically, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively (would have been completely drained if not for the recharge in New Orleans last month!). But I’m okay, with capital Oh Kay Ae Why’s…

I’m doing more than simply functioning, which is how I operated in the past. I’m living, under tremendous pressure and outside demands, but living well nonetheless. I’m still in the pool every day; I still enjoy the sunrise or sunset; I still play with the little lizards whilst watering in the backyard (one of them has become quite adept at backflips in the mist!!)…I still burn my sage, play music and go gently with myself.

Though I’d like to, I can’t credit Dr. D with all of these changes in how I approach the world (I’ve done the lion’s share of the work!!). However, thanks to the BTD, my physical being is cared for and I’m able to take the time for the other things. I think I’m growing up!! And it feels so good!

Take care of you all…be well…go gently…

(Oh yeah, one of the “dramas” occurring right now is the TOTAL meltdown of my computer hard drive…so the blogs may be more sparse than normal until I can have constant access to a computer.)

Today is a better day and I’m thankful for that. I’m back to living life one day at a time, really the way it should be as I’m still learning. Yesterday I was 100% (okay 96%, I did have 2 cups of coffee!) compliant and am headed that way today. We had a fantastic workout in the pool yesterday (did fly drills the whole hour!) and after the water today, I’ll be hitting the weights. I’m still as stressed and busy as ever (end of the semester!!), but I’ve relocated that serenity inside of myself. Everything is doable in manageable pieces and that’s where I’m at friends. Take care of you and be well…



THANKS SARAH FOR THE SUGGESSTION ON THE PINEAPPLE MUFFINS (SHE WAS THE ONLY RESPONSE)

Muffins: muffins are so very easy to make that it would be worth just experimenting. If I were your correspondent, I'd get just any bog-standard muffin recipe, use spelt flour & baking powder instead of self-raising flour, use pineapple juice instead of milk (reduce sugar though) and stir in some chopped pineapple.

TO SUSAN & DAVID: A clear and organized list of foods for your blood type are available in Dr. D’Adamo’s books. The books that I’ve read are Eat Right 4 Your Type, Live Right 4 Your Type and Cook Right 4 Your Type. I recommend you to go to the library and check out ER4TY first, and then go pick up the cookbook so that you’ve got recipes from the get-go.

Well, I promised that I’d check in and here I am, checking in!! I did indeed go to the pool yesterday (no surprise there) and lifted weights (first time in a couple years) and stretched out for 20 minutes or so (unbelievable how short [read:tight] I’ve gotten). I didn’t go to yoga because frankly I was beat after my day and didn’t want to wait around until the evening to do it. My mind was in a serene place, my body was stretched out and I don’t like yoga enough to wait around for it so far from home. Today promises to bring pool time, more stretching and LOTS of homework!!

Okay, here, in narrative form you’ll find my responses to several of the messages that you’ve all left for me. Some question types are repeated, so I’m just going to answer in general terms. For the most part, we AB’s can’t seem to live without our coffee!! Here’s the deal (it is listed as a bennie in some places and an avoid in others), Dr. D wrote in one of his recent columns that it’s okay in moderation, but when combined with stress and other immune weakening avoids it’s no good. So there you have it. I’ve said this before about coffee and I’ll say it again. If I didn’t have it in the morning, the angst created within my soul would be more problematic than the darn coffee. I do try to balance it throughout the day with green tea and of course lots of water. Also, remember that it’s not necessarily the caffeine that the problem, but some ingredient in the coffee itself, so if you’re having gallons of decaf…that’s worse than a cup or two of full-strength java.

Moving along to other topics (though I could wax poetic about the personal virtues of café all day), let’s mention seafood. I’m also interested to learn that many of us AB’s (at least the ones who end up looking into ER4YT) have been vegetarians at one point or another. Just like me, several of you have been having a bumpy time adding “faces” back into your diet. I have two thoughts on this: 1- If it’s that bad, soy is HB, so keep up with what’s working (Remember, I’m not a doctor or a dietician, just an ordinary girl spouting her own opinions into cyberspace…my comments are opinions, not medical advice!!). 2-If you can tolerate some flesh, look at the actual serving sizes. It’s not much (just a few ounces of the stuff spread out through the whole week), and can be easy to “hide” among veggies, rice and such. Imagine if we were O type…we’d have to eat a whole cow!! Tee hee… Okay, cravings were an issue that came up a few times recently too in your comments. It seems that we can have quite the sweet tooth. All I know is that for me, when I’ve been eating everything in balance, my cravings don’t exist. When I’m out of whack with my eating, all I want is junk. It makes it worth it for me to take the time to get to the market, wash all the produce and plan out meals for the week. My main goal right now is to find that balance of busy life stuff and taking care of me and mine time. The learning curve on this goal is pretty slow, but I’m working on it.

Finally, there was a plea for a pineapple spelt muffin recipe. I checked RECIbase and CR4TY and didn’t find anything. If anyone has a recipe out there that you’re willing to share, send it to me through this site and I’ll post it.

Well friends, this wasn’t a terribly organized or witty blog, but such is the way with these things. I’m in the thick of finals season and by the end of the month (3 weeks, eep!!), I’ll have completed all of my coursework!! I’ll then have a summer full of travel and writing for that thesis project (this is a fun thing for me!!). Hang in there, my sense of humor is still here…it’s just not kicking as hard right now on-line. Most of my resources are going toward school stuff.

Happy eating to y’all…have a great weekend and be well…

Hey y'all...aside from forgetting to eat yesterday, I did very well with the junk food! Tee hee, the truth is, I started the day with lemon water and had superfood with grape juice. So while I didn't actually eat food food until about 5:30pm, I did start the day with only bennies. The good news is that I've finally hit a wall with the whole junk food thing. I think it's because I had to bake all night Wednesday night (cheesecake, choc. cake, 2 types cookies, homemade p.b. cups, homemade caramel corn) for an event Thursday. I was up until 1 am finishing everything and was so fed up with sweets by that point that I just didn't want anything junkie.

That's a good start. (Coincidentally, I had such a bad headache by my 7pm class that I couldn’t focus for anything, lost a contact without knowing it [still haven’t found it…hopefully it’s lost outside of my body and not still in my eye somewhere], and felt nauseous. The point ONCE AGAIN is that life on the BTD is sort of like following Dorothy on the yellow brick road. Stay on the right path and your body will sing for joy, help you do wonderful things and look great. Stray off the path and punishment ensues.)

As for today, I'll eat good food all day (already started with a powerhouse breakfast of egg over rice), swim, start weights (it's been over a year since I've done any weight training) and do yoga. If that doesn't jump start me back on track, I don't know what will!!

I hereby PROMISE to you out there in the great void of cyberspace, that I will write to you first thing on Saturday morning (Pacific time...so late morning for you East Coasters!) telling you that I did indeed do those things today and I'll answer all the mail that I've received over the past couple of weeks. It seems that many more AB's are becoming turned on to the BTD; I'm so glad that you're writing to me! I feel less lonely among the O, A and B bloggers!!

Take care of y'all, have a great day and be well... just follow the yellow brick road…

Remember the great Girl Scout Cookie debacle of 2004? How about the Twix feast of April? What we’re looking at here folks is the horrific stress-induced, fatigue enabling passive-aggressive mess known as Oreo bingeing. There is no excuse for my behaviors and I’m having a monster of a time doing anything about them at the moment (have had several Oreos within the past few sentences). If I’m on this free-ranging feast fest I should get to the Farmer’s Market for fruits and veggies…that way if I’m stuffed to the point of explosion…I’d be stuffed full of bennies. I doubt that Oreos even show up in the TYPEBase Program—they’re that bad.

Remember those teen beat TV shows when the main character got caught smoking and their parents made them smoke two packs of cigarettes right there at the kitchen table to teach them a lesson to never smoke again? Does that work with crap food too? If I make myself sick over this will I never touch the stuff again? There are a few choice types of alcohol that that have done this for me. Somehow I think it’s not the same with junk food, unfortunately.

Well dear readers, in case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I’m in a very self-depreciating mood right now. I am so overwhelmed with the amount of work to get done in the month of May. None of it is overly cognitively demanding; there is just a huge volume of information to distill down into papers, presentations, reflections and other assorted assignments. I know, I know…cry me a river right? Any grad student has the same story this month, the thing is that I know how this grad student feels, and she’s stressed!!

Still, pigging out on cookies (that were sitting there in the cabinet…darn roomies!) is no excuse. But it’s done and I can’t take it back, so I’ll start anew (again) from here. My plan is to drink loads of extra water, green tea and Superfood. Bear with me on getting to you will responses to your communications. This has been a lengthy study break in itself, and I need more time to compose answers to your letters. I’ll get to it, just give me time.

Take care y’all and smile. Happy (compliant) eating…be well…