Archives for: May 2004, 12
Slept nearly 9 hours today - got to bed around noon after running to the grocery store, puttering around, balancing my checkbook and printing out a bunch of stuff on my computer at home. We can't print anything at work, so I email myself stuff to print out at home. Finished a book I was reading - not worthwhile, or I'd talk more about it.
Woke up around 9pm, made a couple of phone calls, and made turkey soup. Had a red onion, some carrots, rice, and ground turkey in the fridge. Would have preferred to use a white onion, but I'll take the red! Sautéed the onion, cut up and threw in the carrots, then cooked the ground turkey separately and threw it in with more than a liter of water and then added a liter of chicken broth. Cooked the rice, and threw that in, added some herbs from provence somewhere in the mix, added salt, and let it simmer for a while. Meanwhile, I cooked an egg and made a piece of toast, and enjoyed that for breakfast - it seems to be my new favorite quick and easy meal.
While the soup was simmering and the rice was cooking, I did some yoga - took care not to do anything that would stress my neck since it is still tense - my neck feels fine, but all the muscles are still sore and dropping my head towards my chest really pulls all the muscles. Wowza. Really tense still. But definitely much improved from before my chiro visit. It felt SOOOO good to get back to doing SOMETHING exercise-wise. Last night at work I was going stark raving mad - I HAD to MOVE. So on one of my breaks and during my lunch period, after I ate I went outside and walked around the parking lot. One lap around is about five minutes, and as fast as I walk, that's got to be at least a quarter mile. So I probably walked about a mile last night over my breaks. Tonight during my first break I went out there again and walked around the building, which also takes about five minutes. I'll probably do 2-3 laps during my lunch (if I have time after eating my soup!) and I'll probably do 1-2 laps during my next break. I went 9 days without exercising because of my neck, and I can really tell the difference in how my body feels. Even a short walk a few times a day will help.
Back to the soup. After my yoga, I dished up soup for lunch, made a quick salad with flaxseed oil and lemon juice, threw a smoothie together for a snack, jumped into the shower and got ready for work.
I realized in the last couple of days that I have GOT to get off the night shift. It's great for allowing me the time to audition and get other things done during the day, but I can't live like this. I have a history of depression, and now I have a 'self-check' that I check myself on periodically. Though I DON'T feel depressed, and I think my mood is pretty good, my body doesn't feel like it usually does (accidents notwithstanding) and I'm not singing in the car or at home like I usually do. Me NOT singing is not a good thing at any time, and is a wake-up call for me. So I will be 'making' myself sing daily, and that alone may help in the short-term. Long-term, I need to get my body back to a regular schedule. I'm tired of being tired all the time....
Memorial Day Weekend. Ugh. Mike asked me to go away with him for Memorial Day Weekend. Now, he is a TERRIFIC friend, and back a couple months ago I might have jumped at the chance to get to know him better, but now.... well, I know that I don't want to be INVOLVED with him because he doesn't want an 'emotional relationship', and he also KNOWS he doesn't want kids. Plus, he's so neurotic, it could drive me nuts over the course of a weekend. In other words, he wants a 'friends with benefits' relationship, and that just doesn't work for me
I DO want an emotional relationship, and while I haven't decided about the kids part, I know that I don't want that decision made FOR me. I asked one friend about this, and he said that my not wanting to get involved on 'that' level sounds like a decision to him, but it just doesn't feel like the right decision yet. Not going doesn't feel right, but going doesn't feel right, either. Whatever I decide, I'm going to have to talk with him and reconfirm to him that we are *just* friends AND that I am dating, and let him know about my misgivings about going away with him. Assuming that talk goes well, then I'll *consider* going away with him.
When Mike knew I was dating last, he got a little jealous, and was glad when Brad dumped me and I ended up not going skiing for the weekend. He doesn't know that I'm dating again, nor does he know that I joined eharmony.com. Currently I have FOUR matches that I'm planning to meet in the next week or so, and I have had two dates with one other match. I suspect that in spite of our 'just being friends' he'll still be jealous.
I think I just need to sit down with all these feelings I'm having about Memorial Day Weekend and Mike and sort through them, and then talk with him about it all. Blah.