Archives for: April 2004, 09
When I got home this morning, I saw that my mom had called - both at home and on my cell phone, so I called her back. She's visiting my brother and sister-in-law and my grandfather in Texas this week to celebrate both her birthday and my grandfather's birthday. Apparently it hasn't been the best week for her, and she needed to vent, so I let her. Did manage to get off the phone when I needed to get to bed, which considering my mother is not an easy task. She isn't very good at understanding or respecting people's boundaries, and one way in which she does this is that even if you say "I have to get off the phone now", she'll just ignore the comment and keep talking. I managed to get off the phone about 30 seconds after I said that, so I think she might be learning.... of course, having hung up on her in the past when she hassn't listened might have something to do with that!
Went to sleep after I talked with Mom, and slept really well, but only for about 5 hours. Woke up and tossed and turned for a while, then fell asleep again. When my alarm went off at 6pm, I did NOT want to get out of bed and go to acting class. But I heard a great phrase yesterday that I really like, and I put it on a post-it in my wallet: "The enemy of what we truly want is what we truly want NOW." I truly want to be a full-time working actor. What I wanted THEN was to sleep until I could sleep no more. I got up. Then I tripped over my blanket, scared two cats, cursed my alarm clock and incoherently did what I needed to do to get ready for class. Grabbed a protein powder smoothie with chocolate soymilk for breakfast, grabbed my acting notebook and purse, and headed out the door.
As much as I did NOT want to be in class, I ended up being glad that I went. I worked with my scene partner from last week again tonight, and tonight's scene went much more smoothly than last week's. I don't know if we felt more comfortable with each other, more comfortable with the material, or what, but last week's scene just didn't work very well for us. The pace was off, we didn't connect with each other, etc. This week we had a much better connection, and my coach even said that the relationship seemed intimate and real. We're supposed to memorize and bring back both scenes over the next couple of weeks to see how much more we can bring to them.
We did an improv exercise, too, and my improv skills seem to be increasing - I'm learning to get past the 'censor' in my brain that prevents me from saying things that might be too suggestive or out there - we're supposed to say whatever comes to mind FIRST, and usually I'm looking for a 'better' response. Didn't do that tonight, which was great! I said whatever came to mind, and my improv partner and I went with it. Then we did another improv exercise in which we all wrote down a character name, occupation, 'catch phrase', what the character is afraid of, what they lust after, and a couple other details. Then were each interviewed about the murder of an alien, and someone had to confess to the crime. It was hilarious, and I even managed to pull that one off pretty well, too, again, by saying whatever it was that came to mind first. I played a dentist named "Fred Croft" (Frederica) who was afraid of losing teeth, lusted after loud noises (like the dental drill!) and her catch phrase was "Pearly white teeth make the world go 'round". It was very fun, and some of my classmates are incredible in what they can come up with.
Class often runs late, which it did tonight, but I am making a point of leaving on time so that I can go home for a few minutes before I go to work. So I left right at 11pm, and went home and ate a lamb chop and some salad, prepared my lunch and snacks for work, and headed to the office.
I've got leftover shrimp and artichoke hearts for lunch today, and pumpkin seeds and almonds for snacks. Ginseng tea right now since I seem to have a little bit of a funny feeling in my throat.
Plans for Friday are the same - nap in the morning, babysit in the afternoon, date in the evening. Saturday is errand day and Mike and I will probably catch a movie or something. Easter Sunday Anne and I will go down to my old chapel in San Diego for services, have lunch down there somewhere, and head back home in the early afternoon. She actually kind of upset me earlier today because a few days ago I mentioned to her that I wanted to do something for Easter, but that all my friends are Jewish and I didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. She said that she was thinking about throwing me a small Easter egg hunt, but I nixed that and said that I'd rather she join me in going to my old chapel. She said "Okay, we'll go!" Then tonight she said that she 'accidentally' scheduled herself to do something for an elderly client's cat on Sunday, and what time would we be back? I told her that the earliest would probably be 3 pm, and it would likelly be at least 5pm if we did have lunch or anything after the service. She said she had to make another phone call and she'd call me back. I thought about how I would feel if she didn't go with me, and I felt sad, and realized that it was important to me for her to be with me on Easter. A few minutes later, she called back, and asked me how important it was to me for her to be with me. I'd already thought about the response, so I told her it was important. She said that she'd go, but I could also tell that she wasn't thrilled about going THIS Sunday. I felt kind of miffed since I have been there for her on EVERY holiday, special occasion, difficult moment, etc., and then the one time I ask her to join me for a holiday when I can't be with my family, she wants to back out. And she has done some things that have REALLY tested our friendship and my loyalty, and I've always been there for her.
Now, don't get me wrong - she's been there for me, too, including loaning me her car for 6 weeks when I broke my leg and couldn't drive my standard transmission car, helping me make it to the bathroom when I was violently ill once last year, let me vent about whatever or whoever I need to vent about, etc. But she has always been able to count on me if I say I'm going to do something for her, and although I know that when it REALLY counts I know I can count on her, she's let me down a couple times, and for her to even QUESTION whether or not Easter was important to me hurt. So I have to decide how to talk with her about that and what, specifically, I will say. And I have to be careful about this - Mike says that as alike as Anne and I are (and we are TWINS in many ways), I am the stronger one of us in many, many ways. I've always suspected that was the case, but he confirmed it for me. Anyway, a delicate issue to handle, and I will discuss it with her tomorrow if we can manage a few minutes together.
Not only is there an issue to discuss with Anne, there's also one to discuss with Mike. The other day at work we learned that the night shift Team Lead is moving to days, and so the night shift Team Lead position is available. I was surprised to learn that an employee only has to have been on the project for a month to apply, and since I've been here for just a hair over 2 months, I told Mike Wednesday evening that I was thinking about applying for the position. While it certainly isn't in my long-term career goals, it would be higher pay, more responsibility, and would help me save more money more quickly so that I can QUIT having a full-time job sooner than expected. The hours would be a slight improvement over the midnight to 8:30 am shift, too, and would be from 7:00pm to 4am. Not a huge imporovement, but at least I'd be able to get to sleep by 5am and sleep a little bit while it is still DARK out!
Anyway, I'd mentioned this opportunity to Mike, and his only response was that if I took the position it would preclude us from being able to get together at all in the evenings during the week. At the time, I was puzzled, but couldn't figure out why. But yesterday figured out why: I realized that I got a negative 'don't do it' response from the man who says he 'doesn't want to get emotionally involved with someone because it might interfere with his acting career goals'. And yet here he is telling me not to go for it because it would interfere with HIS social life with me, and yet we're 'just friends'. So we'll be having a little discussion about THAT when I next see HIM....
And I did turn in the application to my Team Lead tonight. : )
Signing off now - have a good weekend, everyone!