Okay. I'm exhausted, and I don't know when I next won't feel this way. I had an acting related meeting at 1 today, which mean that I slept about 2 1/2 hours, went to the meeting, and then tried to sleep again afterwards. I couldn't sleep this afternoon, so finally got up, showered, did a few things around the apartment, and headed out to spin class.

The meeting today was very revealing - we talked about all the time we spend doing things that we need to do for our life outside of acting - 8 hours a day for sleep (I wish!), 45 hours a week for my job, time spent on household chores, personal care, cooking, errands, etc. By the time we were done, I completely understood WHY things don't get done around my apartment if I'm doing anything related to acting. I have only about FIVE hours a week available to devote to acting outside of class, and one audition in Orange County can take up most of that, various acting meetings and administrative things like record-keeping for tax purposes probably take up on average 3 hours a week, so I *might* really have ONE hour a week to pursue my goals. Something's gotta give! So over the next few days I will be re-examining how I am spending my time and coming up with a REGULAR SCHEDULE for pursuing acting. No one who is succeeding in this industry is spending only a few hours a week doing so, and I need to treat this like my REAL job. So I want to have at least 20 hours a week to devote to acting on a consistent basis. I'm serious about acting, but hadn't realized how little time I'd really been able to devote to it. This explains why my apartment is currently a disaster zone and why I haven't done laundry in nearly two weeks. I am considering not even babysitting anymore because even though it does bring in some extra money (always helpful), it takes up a fair amount of time. I haven't completely decided about babysitting, though, because I DO sit for some fairly major players in the industry, which can be helpful in the long-run, and it IS all about building relationships in this town.... Have to consider this one carefully.

What's more, I may (GASP!) actually take myself out of the dating scene for a while.... on the other hand, I do NEED downtime, too, so perhaps I can work something out to include it, too. Whatever I end up including in my schedule, I have GOT to get VERY focused and organized so that I can get done as much as possible in the least amount of time possible. The speaker even recommended focusing on ONE aspect of acting - instead of going after film, TV, commercials, and plays, just focus on ONE thing. That spoke volumes to me, and I think for now I will be focusing on commercials - I have an MBA in consumer products marketing - I LOVE commercials! - and I know my 'brand' very well and can sell it with no problems. So I'll be coming up with a marketing plan to get me out of this job and into commercials as soon as possible. Once I've got something coming in from commercials, THEN I can work on getting film and TV work. But I need to free up some time to pursue that, which commercial work will help me do.

The past few days I've felt kind of yucky, probably due to the wheat and dairy double whammy over the weekend. In spin class tonight I thought I was either going to pass out or throw up, but I couldn't decide which one it was going to be. It seemed to take a LOT more effort to get through class tonight than it did last week, but I kept pushing myself figuring that the more I sweated the more toxins I was getting out of my system. And I was sweating buckets! After class the trainer was going to lead the group in some ab work, and if I had been able to sleep, I would have stayed. Combine that with feeling like crap and there was no way I was staying. Fortunately, the trainer understood, and even complimented me on how hard I was working in spin class. I told him that it was sheer force of will that kept me going, and that I had only slept two and a half hours this morning. He told me to go get some rest, and I'll be back in class on Wednesday.

So I went home, showered again (mostly just a cool rinse-off) and climbed into my bed. Set the alarm for 11:30 pm, and was out almost instantly. Anne called me around 9:30 - I'd forgotten to unplug the phone again, but I went back to sleep instantly. And I did NOT want to get up when my alarm went off, but here I am at my desk, marginally functional. All I did when I got up was dress, grab my lunch, and head out the door. Didn't even bother with make-up - didn't want to spend the three minutes or so taking the time to put any on! Those few minutes of sleep can make a difference! When I got here my boss said I looked really tired - she's never seen me with NO make-up on, so I told her that's why I look tired - that and the split sleep situation.

In terms of my diet, I am doing well today - I had a pineapple juice smoothie during my acting meeting today, and then for breakfast tonight I had another smoothie. I've got diced turkey breast tossed with salad and a great garlic and herb dressing that I got at Trader Joe's. Pumpkin seeds and celery and almond butter for snacks. Lots of Gerolsteiner and water to try to calm down my heartburn (after-effects of wheat and dairy!) and to flush out toxins.

Tuesday will be another busy day. I go to my tax guy in the morning to do an amendment for my 2000 taxes, and I should be getting a fair amount of $$ back. Then I dash to the grocery store to pick up a kosher dessert that is also wheat-free (if such an animal exists). Go home, sleep until about 4:45 pm, and then Mike and I head over to Anne's grandmother's place for Passover dinner. Should be a fun evening, but I'll be lucky if I get 6 hours sleep. Ugh. Once I get home after dinner, I may try to do a Pilates or yoga video - I miss doing them - it's been about a week!