I woke up at 6:24 pm today, and realized that I had to be in my second spinning class by 6:30pm. Oops. I'd set my alarm for 6am instead of 6pm. I went into turbo bumblebee mode, and dashed out the door. Fortunately, the gym is only a mile or so away, so I arrived at 6:35, quickly set up the bike, and started pedalling away. Was so glad to be on that bike I swear I was grinning like a fool for the first ten minutes I was there. Then, of course, the pain set in!

I pushed myself really hard on the bike tonight - it felt good to see what my limits were with this, and the trainer is so motivational that I really 'went someplace' internally and pulled up whatever it was that I needed to find to continue to push. It was an awesome class, and we spun for nearly an hour (apparently spinning classes are usually 40 minutes), and aside from having jelly-like legs again, I felt great. Considering that the average spinning class burns about 500 calories in 40 minutes, I have probably burned around 1,000 calories just from spinning in the last two days. My seat is incredibly sore from sitting in the bike saddle, but apparently it just takes a while to get used to it. I don't have a pair of biking shorts, so I've been sitting on a folded up towel to provide SOME cushioning. The first class it kept falling off, so I used a rubber band to hold it onto the seat for the second class. It worked like a charm, and will save me from having to invest in a pair of biking shorts for a while. I want to see how much I think I'll be spinning in the future before I go spend money on a new form of exercise.

The rest of today was fun, too. This morning after work I called my uncle, and we went out for a quick breakfast. It was really good to see him, and I can't wait to see him again tomorrow night. : ) Then I went home and slept, and after spinning class I went home and made some salmon and spinach for dinner. Then Anne stopped by, and we talked for about an hour before I had to kick her out and get ready for work. She and I had a terrific conversation, and howled with laughter about a couple things that we hadn't had time to talk about before - her dates, Brad phasing himself out, life in general - and she said that she'll be laughing for days about one story I told her. Heck, I'm still giggling about it! Unfortunately, it doesn't translate well to the written word, or I would share it here, too.

After Anne left, I had about an hour and 15 minutes to get ready for work, and I puttered around a little too long, and got out of the shower with 12 minutes to get ready for work. Bumblebee time again - threw on some clothes, grabbed my lunch and purse, and raced out the door. No makeup, hair still damp, etc. Made it to work on time, though, and have been doing stuff on-line since then, interrupted by the occasional call.

Tomorrow I will head home and go directly to sleep, and then I hope to head to the gym before going to dinner with my uncle. Dinner promises to be 'lavish and decadent', so I want to burn off some calories before I even indulge. The indulgence will be minor, anyway. I will have a nice meal, and might have some wine, but dessert is probably out of the question BTD-wise, so I won't stray too far.

I know that I can be completely compliant the rest of the week through the weekend, so the next planned indulgence will be next Tuesday evening for Passover dinner at Anne's grandmother's home, with both her parents, me, some other friends of the family, and I'm bringing Mike. Should prove to be an entertaining evening. Anne's parents bicker all the time (they divorced 30 years ago) and Mike hasn't met Anne's mother or grandmother, though he has met her father. Last year it was a traditional dinner, but also a comedic evening. I suspect this year will be the same, but more so.

I watched "Whalerider" this morning before I went to bed - incredible movie, and I think it is my favorite of the five I rented over the weekend. I loved it. I don't know that I agree that the young woman in it should have been nominated for an Academy Award, but whatever, she was, and she did a fine, fine job acting in the movie. I just don't think her performance was as demanding or as dazzling as the other actresses who were nominated. Doesn't take away from my appreciation of the movie, though!

I slept fitfully today, and then had to get up and go to a spinning class tonight for the infomercial. I've never done a spinning class before, so this was an experience! I was grateful that I've been working out for six months now, because I know I kept up better than I would have otherwise. I never felt like I was huffing and puffing, so all those hours on the elliptical machine were good for something! My legs, on the other hand, were exhausted by the end. I can definitely see the need for cross training! By the time I got off the bike I felt like I could barely stand up! Enjoyed it, though, and the trainer is VERY motivational for this O, and brings out my competitive side. I need that right now, as that sense of competition has been pushed down for a while!

After the spinning class, I was supposed to have dinner with my uncle, but when I called him to see where to meet him, he cancelled on me - the time difference was too much for him, and he was exhausted after having travelled all day. We may not even get to see each other tomorrow since I have another spinning class tomorrow at 6:30 that I have to attend. That will depend on how tired he is tomorrow night. But Wednesday evening is a definite go, and he said we would do something utterly lavish and decadent for dinner. Cool! Except that I really need to stay focused on this program for the infomercial! I might have a little bit of dessert, though, or wine or something.

Since he cancelled for tonight, I went home and napped for a couple hours before coming in to work. Then got up, threw my clothes on, and headed in here. Nearly forgot my lunch and snacks, which would have been a first, and a disaster in terms of my diet. I had some ground lamb that I threw into a skillet with a little bit of olive oil, some toasted walnuts, sweet potato, and spinach, and I put some curry and garlic salt on it and mixed it all together. It was divine, all HBs, and I have more for lunch. Had some celery stalks with almond butter for a snack. Haven't juiced in a couple of days since we're supposed to limit our sugar intake. : ( Once a week we have a 'free' day to eat whatever we want, within reason. I suspect I'll have some juice on those days.

Went to Starbucks the other day and was chatting with this cute young guy about 'the industry' as the movie biz is usually referred to out here, and he is a wanna-be writer/producer. He currently works with some high-powered folks, and said he'd give my headshot and resume to them, so we exchanged information. He asked me out for that evening (Saturday, I had plans with Mike) and then he called me today because he had a terrific job interview and wanted to celebrate with me, and again I couldn't because I was supposed to have dinner with my uncle. But I think we'll get together one evening next week. At first I was against the idea of going out with him at all since he's about 25, but he seems mature, kind, intelligent, and fun, so why not? Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz are both dating younger men, Oprah did a show on it, so what the heck. If nothing else it would be interesting to contrast dating a man 8-10 years younger than me to one who is 8 years older than me.

This has been a busy few days - Friday I was running errands and getting things done, and didn't ever take a nap during the day. Not getting a nap in meant that I was headachy and exhausted by 7pm - I'd been up for 24 hours by then, so I went to bed. Yup, 7pm on a Friday night, and I was asleep. So much for the wild single life, eh?

Woke up at 4am on Saturday to two cats playing rowdily. I managed to quiet them down and sleep a couple more hours, and got up around 6:30. Did my usual Saturday morning errands, and picked up FIVE DVDs from Blockbuster to watch over the weekend. I rented "Mona Lisa Smile", "Whalerider", "Me, Myself & Irene", "Kissing Jessica Stein", and "Ocean's Eleven". I've watched all except "Whalerider", and enjoyed all of them. I didn't expect to enjoy "Me, Myself, and Irene" much at all, but actually laughed out loud at a couple of things, so I can't say it was terrible. It was great for me to stay home and watch movies since I was able to putter around the apartment while I watched them.... Cleaned my kitchen, cooked, cleared off my table, and did several other things while watching them.

Saturday was not the best day in terms of diet - I went for a walk and found a health food store that I hadn't seen before, and they had SPELT donuts. Knowing that I would be starting this infomercial program, I bought a couple of them to eat Saturday - I won't have chocolate for at least a month, so I'm eating donuts today! I did eat them, loved them, and won't buy them again any time soon. Spent a little time with Anne during the late afternoon, and happened to stop by just at the right time. She was just about to pull a chicken breast out of the toaster oven, and also had made some artichoke and asparagus, and she offered me some. So we shared her dinner, and it was quite good!

Mike and I watched "Ocean's Eleven" together Saturday evening. I'd rented all the movies in part because he was supposed to be doing his taxes all weekend, and Anne was working and on dates all weekend, so I figured I'd be on my own. But he finished his federal return Friday night, so we watched the movie together. We wanted to work on some scenes/monologues together yesterday, but it just didn't work out in terms of timing because whenever he was free, I wasn't, and when I was free he wasn't. We did run into each other a couple times through the day, but only to say hello, update on the latest, and carry on from there.

I spent some time on Sunday at the Huntingon Library and Gardens wandering through the William Morris exhibit and the gardens. I have loved the work of William Morris for 10-15 years now, ever since I found a box of postcards with his textile patterns on them. I've long-since used up all the postcards, and have been looking for more of them ever since. Haven't found any, but saw that the exhibit was taking place, and had to go. I really enjoyed learning more about how the designs were created and produced, and bought a little book on the designs, a couple of postcards, and a little mirror with a design on the back. Still no stationery! Pffftt! Oh, well. I enjoyed the exhibit anyway, and I'm happy with my purchases. I also bought two beautiful pairs of earrings in the main shop there. I found my favorite pair of earrings there about four years ago, and specifically looked for earrings there today. I found a table in the cafe, and ate a chocolate mousse (last day of sugar!) and drank my smoothie before heading out.

After the Huntington, I had to go an hour south of me to an audition at Chapman University. I enjoyed talking with the student/director, and I think it will be a fun little project. I'm one of only two women who auditioned for the 'mom' role, so my odds are good! It will be filmed towards the end of April, and if nothing else will give me another credit for my resume, and could provide something nice for my reel.

Went home after my audition, ate some scrambled egg with onion and spinach in it, as well as some sweet potato, and took a nap for a couple hours before heading in to work. Monday's events will be sleeping during the day, going to work out for the infomercial at 6pm, and then meeting my uncle for dinner.

Forgot to mention! On Friday I got a call for an audition for an infomercial, and for the next month I'll be working out on some exercise machine they'll be marketing and following the diet they prescribed for us (basically 'Body for Life') with BTD and allergy modifications. When the trainer was asking me about diet, I told him what I ate on Friday (lamb and broccoli, a fruit smoothie with protein for breakfast, etc.) he said, "Well, I won't worry too much about your diet". We'll see how it goes. There are about 30 of us participating in the program, and it seems that whoever has the best results (of course) will get to be in the infomercial. Wish me luck! I can use the credits on my resume! They did 'before' pictures, and it was amusing to be told "Don't suck it in" and "Don't smile" - I had to fight all my natural urges on both of those counts!

Brad self-selected himself out of the picture - apparently found someone else he'd rather spend time with. I was bummed because I really liked him. Mike was pleased to hear the news, not that it changes anything between us, but he was funny when I told him what happened, and said that he didn't quite know how to respond to my news. I said, "You're sorry, but you're not, right?" He nodded and said that pretty well summed it up. I am considering signing up for an on-line dating service. I was on one for a while last year, and had good luck with it.

My uncle arrives tomorrow! I'm so excited! : )

I didn't sleep well today - remembered to turn the phone off, but forgot to turn the answering machine down. Once I was really asleep, it was fine, but a couple calls came in before I was completely out, which of course then keeps me awake that much longer.

I got up around 6pm, and went to see "Monster". Wow. Incredible movie, and Charlize Theron was amazing. Complete transformation! And Christina Ricci was great, too. The story is not a happy one, but is very powerful. I sat through the movie essentially stunned by the quality of the acting and the film. I found it very inspiring that Charlize Theron was so willing to undergo such a physical transformation for the movie - she gained 20-30 pounds, had lots of her hair plucked out to make it look thinner, had prosthetic teeth, and hardly any eyebrows. Didn't even look like she could have been the SISTER of the glowing, gorgeous woman who went to the Oscars. I wonder how far I'd be willing to go for a role like that. Gaining weight isn't a problem for me - pass the wheat! But losing it is, and having to lose 30 pounds (again) scares me. I'm still trying to lose the rest of the weight from when I broke my leg last year! I've been working out and eating well for the last 6 months, and have made great strides, but I STILL have 10-12 pounds to go.

Anne is finally back from her housesitting job, so we got together for a little bit tonight- I'd missed her! I'm glad she's back - we see each other nearly daily, and seeing her cats every morning just wasn't the same as seeing her!

Tonight before work I made some carrot ginger juice. It smells wonderful, and I'm probably going to drink it at my break here in a few minutes. Yummy. Also made some more grapefruit juice. Hopefully one of them will help me stay awake, because I'm sleepy tonight. I'll be so glad when I don't have to have a 'survival' job and I am acting for a living! All in due time....

I've been doing a lot of that lately. Examining my intent for doing things, making sure that I am doing what I really want to be doing for the long-term, and for the right reasons. Been scrutinizing my behavior and thoughts and how well they are aligned with my goals and dreams. I've come a long way in changing my life, but boy, do I have a long way to go!

Today I went to the actor's network that I'm involved in to hear from an acting coach. I slept about 90 minutes before I went over there, and probably shouldn't've napped at all, because I was incredibly tired going over there. And when I parked my car I hit the rim against the curb and bent the rim enough to make me wonder if I would have a flat tire by the time I got out of the meeting. So far it seems fine, but I'm still checking it every time I head for the car. Fortunately, my car is 10 years old and the paint is fading and it generally doesn't look like much of anything, so I don't care if the rim is bent unless it is MORE than cosmetic damage.

The coach was interesting to listen to. He seems to have a lot in common with my current acting coach, so there doesn't seem to be much point in changing coaches, though I might take his 8 week class just to jump start myself and get really jazzed about acting again. I'm always excited about it when I'm doing it, but I haven't gotten to play any parts lately, so an extra boost would be a good thing.

I've been pretty good lately about exercising, even if I haven't been posting about it. I haven't been to the gym in weeks (I hate this gym - I need to join my old one as soon as I get my tax refund, because I loved it there), but I have been doing Pilates and yoga at least every other day, and I'm feeling good about what I'm doing. I do want to get back to the hated gym in the next few weeks before I join my old one again - the elliptical machines are calling to me!

I'm really enjoying my juicer! The extra time it takes to clean it is far offset by the decreased chopping to get the food into the juicer. I love that I chose one with a large opening! Tonight I juiced two ruby red grapefruits and got roughly 30 ounces of juice out of them, and it is delicious. It was a breeze to peel the grapefruit and pull them apart into a few sections rather than section out the whole thing like i used to have to do with my old juicer. Yesterday I made a beet, carrot, celery juice. Yum.

On tap for today is a massage (haven't had one in a while!), sleep, and meet a friend for drinks in the evening. I haven't seen Joseph in probably at least a year, even though we both live in LA. I've known him for probably 6 years, and we used to get together regularly with a group of people. The last couple of years, we've gotten together sporadically. It is always good to see him, and we always enjoy our time together, but we just can't manage to meet up more often. I'm very much looking forward to it.

- Almost forgot to mention that I realized the other day that I'm now having reactions to my favorite chicken/turkey pesto sausages from Trader Joe's. I happened to have one by itself the other night, and nearly choked from the pepper in it. I can usually get away with a little black pepper in something like that, but won't be having those sausages anymore. I also had some of my 'usual' reaction - coughing, sniffling response to stuff I shouldn't be eating. So no more sausages for me. : (

I didn't make it to the submission place yesterday - by the time I fed Anne's cats (she's housesitting all this week), did laundry, and cleaned up around the apartment a little bit, it was noon and way past my bedtime. So I'll go one day next week.

Slept for nine straight hours today, and woke up actually feeling awake and refreshed, which was very cool. Sleeping during the day just doesn't recharge me like sleeping at night. I'm sure it's knocking all kinds of circadian rhythms off, and switching from sleeping during the day to sleeping at night all the time probably doesn't help.

Watched a new show "Wonderfalls" - I missed the first 15 minutes of it, and I feel like I missed something key about how the whole talking with inanimate critters started, but I still found it to be an interesting show. A bit quirky, but not so odd that I don't want to watch anymore. I've set my VCR to record tomorrow night's episode. Did anyone catch the beginning and if so, could you tell me what happened?

Still eating lightly - turkey sausage, salad, mashed sweet potato. I think I'm detoxing as a result of eating lightly, too - the eczema on the back of my head is flaring up and I've eaten nothing that would trigger it. So I hope that means I'm clearing out toxins. I've got sausage and sweet potato for lunch today, a smoothie, and carrot juice.

Tomorrow will be a long day, and I may not even get a nap in, though I do hope to! I've got to go home and feed Anne's cats, throw on some casual clothes for my Friday, and head out the door to meet Anne where she's housesitting FIVE dogs. I'll meet the pups, we'll head to the chiropractor's, and then go to lunch together. Then I will drop her off back at the house, and I'll head home to nap for an hour or two before heading to my PO Box and then to my babysitting job. I also need to stop off at Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a new juicer before going to babysit. I killed my juicer a few weeks ago when I juiced a pineapple. Oops. So I've been researching them to decide what kind I want now. It won't be a very expensive one (which of course, is the kind I want), but it will have a sufficiently powerful enough motor and an opening through which I can drop a whole small apple. One of the things that drove me nuts about my old juicer was that the size of the opening was so small that I had to chop things up into fairly small chunks to fit them in there.

Then I'll babysit for the evening, and hopefully the child will go to bed early enough that I'll be able to nap a little bit, too.

The rest of this weekend will be busy, too. I've got an audition on Saturday (yay!), babysit Saturday night, and I'm going to the movies on Sunday. No dates! Brad's busy all weekend (rats!), and I haven't even seen Mike in days (and still need have the 'let's just be friends' talk, anyway).

I did run to the Post Office right after work this morning, and they are getting to know me in there now. I've been there three times in the past week, about the same time of the morning, and this morning when I went in we were all joking around since there were very few customers around. I like it when I start to get to know people someplace and they start to get to know me. I moved around so much in my 20s that I didn't have much of a sense of community, and I missed that after having lived in the same town for so many years as a kid/teenager. Now, I check out at the grocery store and they know me, I walk into Starbucks and they start fixing my drink without me saying what it is, and now they know me at the Post Office. It's a good thing. LA may be a big city, but most of my world here is pretty small!

Anne stopped by tonight as I was getting ready to leave for my meeting - she has a cold (again!) and wanted me to massage her back and neck for a few minutes. She's been coughing like crazy and her muscles were knotted up pretty well. We're going to the chiropractor together on Friday - when gas is $2.15+ a gallon, you share when you can! (And another benefit of having your best friend living in the same building as you!)

The actor's network meeting I went to last night was great - it was with a manager who I've met a couple of times before (see? that world is small!) at various events. He's delightful, and had some great stories to share with us, as well as some good thoughts on when to get a manager and what to look for in a manager. Well worth the time to go to the meeting!

Tomorrow morning I'll be up late - have to go register for another submission forum (to submit my headshot to acting jobs!) and then I HAVE to do laundry.

Still eating lightly today - it's been so hot here, I just don't feel like eating. I've got a salad with shrimp in it for lunch tonight. And I'm drinking lots of water. The lamb I bought last weekend is languishing in my freezer. Seems too heavy right now!

The Irish in me salutes you on this fine, fine day! My family is from County Cork originally, and I love St. Patty's Day! No plans to celebrate in any way, though - I have another meeting about acting stuff tonight, and then work, so no celebratin' for me. And I'm kickin' myself for forgetting to put on something green today! Grr!

Oh, well. I only slept about 5-6 hours, and hoped to sleep some more, but it just didn't happen. So I dragged myself out of bed, fed Anne's cats, did some Pilates, ate a banana, prepared food for work tonight, and cleaned my kitchen. I also accomplished several tasks that needed to be done at the computer, including three letters that I have been putting off dealing with for too long. It feels good to have gotten them all out of the way! I'll run to the Post Office in the morning and get this stuff mailed out.

I went to the PO yesterday morning, too, to pick up a box from my mother. It was my Christmas presents! She's a little late! She'd made a few little Christmasy door signs for me, and gave me a Ghirardelli mug with chocolates in it (all milk - I gave it away to a neighbor) and a little flat black round circle of pottery that is a black cat. It's about 4 inches in diameter and you can put a teabag on it. It's really cute. I laughed at her being so late with my presents. One year I received a 2' tall Christmas tree in February!

I'm tired tonight - wish I'd been able to sleep some more!

There's no logical explanation for today's title in this entry. It just was what came to mind when I was thinking about what to title it, and since Monday was a rather routine day, it seemed appropriate.

I got home from work and did a little Pilates and yoga, called the IRS to request some "tax return transcripts" from 2000 and 2001. I can find EVERY other piece of paper related to my taxes for these two years, but not the actual returns themselves. I know I e-filed, so I probably have the returns on one of my hundred or so disks, but I'd rather wait a week or so to get the hard copy from the IRS than spend countless hours trying to find them. I'm surprised at myself, too, for not having a print out of them with the rest of my information - I consider myself fairly organized in that department! The woman I dealt with was friendly, efficient, and we had a nice chat as she pulled my information. Who knew that the IRS had such good customer service! So I should have those within a week or so, and then I can file my amendments for those years. Yay!

Went to bed around 10am, and woke up around 6pm. I slept better yesterday than I usually do during the day, which was great. Woke up and went to an acting network meeting last night that was VERY informative and motivational. I am just ITCHING to get some real work in the industry now! I'm planning just how that is going to happen.....

Came home and talked with Mike about some acting stuff related to tonight's meeting, and we discussed some other acting-related stuff, too. I finally got off the phone about 10:15, and was bummed because I'd hoped to have enough time to call Brad tonight to see how his weekend skiing was, but I didn't want to call him that late. I'll try tomorrow night since I should be home and awake tomorrow night. So I did most of my Pilates workout before showering and heading in to work tonight. I haven't done any exercise to speak of in the last week or so because I was fighting whatever crud I had, so I'm trying to be better about it this week. I want to get back to the gym this week, too, but work, sleep, and acting-related events seem to take up all my energy, so to actually LEAVE THE APARTMENT to go exercise seems like a monumental task for some reason.

Food-wise, I really haven't been hungry the last couple of days. I'm just not interested in food, which is good and bad given my recent blood sugar issues. I'm making myself eat periodically, but not forcing the food down, either. I think appetites come and go anyway. Some days I can eat several large meals and my tummy is still growling, and other days I'm stuffed with a single dainty snack. So far I haven't had any blood sugar episodes in several days, so that's good news. I had some mango for a snack a little while ago, and a smoothie for 'breakfast' when I arrived at work at midnight. I've got some blueberries, pecans, and yogurt for lunch, and more mango for later. BTW, in my smoothie I used the blood type O protein powder that I just got from NAP, and it's got 20 grams of protein in it! I like the protein powder quite a bit - it does blend easily, but is a little bit grainy in texture, though not so grainy as to be disgusting. I used it, the Harmonia, a little vitamin C, some grapefruit seed extract, some psyllium powder (I never seem to eat enough fiber, so every little bit helps!), a banana, and pineapple juice for my smoothie. The harmonia makes it kind of a disgusting brown color when combined with the other stuff, but it tastes pretty good!

Anne had two dates with two different men in the last two days - she said she was learning from ME! I still haven't heard her report though, so I am looking forward to hearing about them! : )

Well, things went very well with the accountant yesterday morning - made me very glad that I keep pretty much every receipt for pretty much everything I do! I'll be getting a very nice refund check, and we'll be doing amendments for the past three years, too, so I will be beefing up my savings account in the next few weeks. This is excellent news since it took a real beating after being unemployed for seven months last year.

I then headed home and talked to Mike for a few minutes before I headed home. I wasn't incredibly tired, but I had to sleep some because I had to babysit for a couple hours again today. I only slept about two and a half hours and woke up WELL before my alarm went off. So I got up to look online for a new W4 to fill out for work, because if this year's taxes are going to be at all like last year's, I need to change my withholdings! Couldn't find a 2004 one, but I'll ask HR here to get me one. Went to babysit, and the poor boy was so tired. I was only there 2 hours, and he was fussy and crying for about half of that, and then fell asleep on me about 30 minutes before his dad got home. It was so nice to have a baby fall asleep on me! His dad came in and remarked how cute the baby was asleep on me.

Headed back home, returned a phone call to Anne and left her a message. Then I tried to sleep, tried being the operative word.... It took me over 2 hours to fall asleep, and then I did NOT want to get up tonight! So I got less than 3 hours of sleep this evening, and I have to be relatively functional until about 4pm. I've got - get this! - a time management class in the morning (do I need this or what?!?!), then a singing lesson in the early afternoon. I'll also go to my PO Box and mail the hard copies of my tax returns. THEN I can head home and take a nap. Tomorrow evening is TV and girl time with Anne, and the weekend will be spent cleaning up my apartment and going to the movies, relaxing, and pulling my old tax returns out of my storage area so that I can amend them in the coming weeks.

Blood type diet stuff - there's not much to tell, actually. Somehow what I've managed to eat the past couple days has been BTD acceptable, even good for me, but I haven't been eating much. I'm still fighting the crud I had earlier this week, and yesterday I just wasn't very hungry, so I didn't eat much. Had a salad with goat cheese and turkey sausage and snap peas on it for lunch last night, and then had mango juice and trail mix in the morning. Mostly I've been really thirsty, so I've been pushing the water, which is good because hopefully it will flush out the bloating I've been experiencing this week. Hasn't helped so far, but it will. Got to work tonight and had a turkey sausage link, and will have some salad later.

Today was a long day - I dashed home from work, threw myself into a shower, threw clothes back on, and headed to the chiropractor. It's interesting that my life now is often dictated by what I have time for rather than what I'd prefer to do at that time. So I showered between work and heading to the chiro's office so that I'd have more time to sleep later in the day.

Chiropractor's office was crazy - they're moving their office starting TOMORROW, so there were tons of boxes around and everyone was a bit stressed. Didn't meet anyone interesting there this time! My neck and sacrum were way out of alignment, so we took care of that and I headed home for a nap.

I slept about 2 hours and had to get up to go babysit, and once again, this darling child did not sleep, which meant that I didn't either. He was very tired and cuddly, though, and I really enjoyed holding him while we watched "The Tigger Movie" (AGAIN!) and "Monster's Inc." His dad got home about 6:30, and I headed home to nap again.

I didn't sleep too well, though - my phone kept ringing, and I couldn't turn it off bc I needed to be able to take a call I was expecting (that never came, actually!). Mike called about 9pm and told me to go to my window - he was standing in the parking lot below my apartment (which is where he parks) and I told him I felt like Juliet with him standing down there! He asked if he could come over to visit, but I told him that I was trying to sleep and that we could talk this weekend. I went back to sleep and slept (uninterrupted!) until just after 11 when my alarm went off.

I am not very awake yet tonight, and don't know that I will be. I've got to work on my taxes some more tonight because I meet with my accountant in the morning. Then I get to sleep for about 5 hours, go babysit for less than three hours, and go home and sleep some more. Then one last day of work and the weekend!

I am not planning on doing much this weekend other than resting and taking care of myself. I need to be healthy!

I spent half the day thinking it was Wednesday, going so far as to tell Mike to enjoy the event that I know he is going to tomorrow, and of course, it still is *tomorrow* and not today as I had thought. I went to the Post Office on my way home from work this morning and then at 11 am had to go to an acting event that I figured would be an hour and a half at the most. Once I arrived I was told it was THREE hours long. Okay, fine, I want to be here, and I'll sleep really well once I get home, and I can still get 8+ hours of sleep.

It was a GREAT event, and was very informative, so I'm glad I stayed. Then I zipped home, changed into my PJs, pulled the blinds, turned off the phone, turned down the answering machine, and was out cold in a matter of seconds. I slept soundly until about 9pm, when I woke up and turned off the Air conditioner - it was 90 degrees here today, and the AC also helps block out some of the noise outdoors. I went straight back to sleep, and didn't want to get up when my alarm went off at 11.

I still feel run down, and tomorrow won't help. I'm going back to the chiropractor's in the morning, and then I have to babysit from 2-7 or so, and then I will sleep from 7:15 until 11 or so. I should also be able to sleep a few hours between the chiropractors and going to babysit, and hopefully this child will take a REALLY good nap, and I can sleep then, too. I'm taking my vitamins, and I'll be resting quite a bit this weekend, so I should be fine again in a few days. I just have to be really conscious of how much sleep I'm getting and not to overextend myself with activities. It's a tough balancing act, though, because said activities will help me get OUT of this job, but I also have to be coherent and competent FOR this job. Yuck.

I haven't thought much about food the last couple of days - ate a salad last night at work, a smoothie this morning, a chicken/turkey pesto sausage before my class, and a glass of mango juice before I went to sleep. So all good stuff, but it doesn't look like much food when I see it on the screen! I haven't been to the gym in about 2 weeks, but I am still doing Pilates and yoga every other day or so. Sleep is a higher priority right now! My abs are still improving, though, which is really cool - there is a little more definition there than there was a few weeks ago! Now if I can just get myself to the gym and on the elliptical machine! Perhaps this weekend.

It seems that my lack of sleep last week and constant switching from normal to vampire hours is catching up with me. I'm now fighting some kind of crud. I basically feel okay, but I can tell I've got a low-grade fever, and my eyes are burning and my throat is a little sore. Not good.

So the tentative plans I had made for this weekend won't be happening - I was planning to go skiing with Brad, but it doesn't make sense for me to go now if I'm not feeling great. Plus once I get my tax refund I'll be better able to handle the cost of the trip. He goes up there all the time, so I'm sure I'll be able to join him next time.

As for Mike, I don't even know if I'll see him this weekend - he'll be doing his taxes. This is just as well since I plan to get copious amounts of sleep and get myself healthy again as soon as possible.

I slept today, but woke up about 4:30 after 6 hours of sleep. Would have liked to have slept more, but just couldn't. Anne called me about 6:30 and asked if I wanted to hang out and have dinner, and when I told her I didn't feel too good she actually made me dinner and brought it to me. Such a good friend! We had rice pasta with tomato sauce and she put in the vegetables that were left over from last night. Good stuff!

After she left, I tried to nap again, but couldn't sleep - Mike called to bring back a videotape, so he came over for about 60 seconds, and then left when he saw I was trying to rest.

Got this email from my dad tonight - I guess it's been longer than I thought since I talked with him!

"Hi doll,

Like parents all over, I get antsy when I don't hear from

you for a while.

Give me a call or a brief e-mail or fill in the blanks.

I am ....

The job is ....

I (AM/AM NOT) seeing (Someone/anybody)

My mental health is ....

My physical health is ....

The new thing in my life is ....

The best time and day to call me is ....

Love

Dad"

Pretty funny! I filled in the blanks and sent it back to him, and will call him this weekend (since I don't seem to be doing anything else!) to catch him up on what's going on.

There's nothing like dating a couple of B's to highlight the BTD and what it can do, not to mention the inherent personality differences that are bound to come up with seeing two different men regardless of the BTD. More on that later.

I did make it home in one piece on Friday morning, and within ten minutes of opening my door, I was face down and out cold on my warm little bed. I did manage to set my alarm before I crashed so that I would be able to sleep Friday night, and that worked beautifully. I slept until 3pm, got up and watched Oprah and Dr. Phil (we all have out guilty pleasures!), ate something, and just tried to relax. About 7:30 I went over to Mike's to watch the Oscars - I'd fallen asleep during it last week, but had already figured that would be the case and had the presence of mind to tape it, which worked out well since Mike hadn't seen it either because he had company in town and was busy entertaining. So he ordered Chinese for us and we watched the Oscars. About midnight I went home and crashed so that I could get up and get ready for my date with Brad Saturday morning.

7:15 am Saturday, my phone rang, and it was my best friend Anne calling to wish me a happy birthday. Only one problem with that.... my birthday isn't for another two months. Apparently she'd entered it into her Palm Pilot incorrectly and didn't think about the time of year. So here she is singing me happy birthday and I told her she must be calling the wrong person bc it wasn't my birthday. She actually contradicted me and told me that it WAS my birthday, and I said no, it's MAY, not MARCH! We laughed hysterically, and I'm still laughing about it. Tonight we had dinner and watched TV and she gave me my 'un-birthday' present, a lovely lavender candle from France that smells divine. Too funny!

After my 'birthday' phone call I snoozed for a little bit longer, and finally got up about 8:20 to get ready for my date. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck from having eaten the Chinese food Friday night (why do I do this to myself?) and was very bloated and tired. I had to feed Anne's cats because she was housesitting all weekend, so I needed a little extra time to take care of that in addition to the usual dressing and getting out the door.

I hit the road to meet Brad and realized that with the traffic I would be a little late, so I called him to let him know that, and made my way there. We then took his vehicle to a hiking trail nearby and hiked in a beautiful, beautiful area for THREE hours. (I am SO sore today!) We had a wonderful time, and I was pleasantly exhausted by the end of the hike. He'd told me he'd make me lunch after our hike (he is a chef, after all!), so we went back to his condo and he started chopping and searing and sautéeing and all kinds of wonderful stuff. As interested as I was in watching the entire process and learning as much as I could, as well as enjoying the lovely conversation and great company, I was just plum tuckered out. Brad encouraged me to sit in his massage chair, and at first I resisted a bit because I knew that if I sat down in it I would fall asleep, and I didn't want to offend him by falling asleep on our date! He ended up walking me to the chair and guiding me to sit, and turned it on for me. Bliss. Sheer bliss. By the time the chair timed out its cycle, I was plenty relaxed, and I moved to the couch to wait for lunch. Next thing I knew, Brad was gently pulling on my toe to wake me up. I guess I was tired! And my falling asleep around him on only the second date does tell me that I'm quite comfortable around him, which is really cool - and he seemed to completely understand my fatigue, for which I was grateful. Combine working nights with a three hour hike and Chinese food the night before and I can fall asleep in a heartbeat.

I dragged my sleepy self to the table for what smelled and looked like an incredible lunch. Curried lamb with carrots, celery, eggplant, mushrooms, onions, garlic, etc. It was an *explosion* of flavor - not spicy hot, but packed with flavor. Incredible stuff AND it was BTD compliant, and very different from anything I've ever made. I had two big servings, and enjoyed every bite of it. As he was putting the leftovers away he told me I would have to come over again if I wanted more of it! No problem! I'd be happy to! I told him he could cook for me any time!

We had an eight hour date, which included probably 30 minutes of me sleeping on the couch, and by 6pm I had to leave. Hated to go since we were having such a great time, but I had plans to go to a really cool restaurant/club with Mike for the evening, and I didn't want to cancel. Besides, Brad and I will be spending more time together next weekend.

I practically flew home, and was running late, so I was glad to hear that Mike had left me a message telling me that he was running late. We met up about 7:20 and headed to Burbank to a restaurant that I know of called Mo's. I had eaten only 3 hours before, so I got a gorgonzola/pecan salad (cheese, I know, but it was about the best option available!) and Mike got a burger of some sort. Then we headed to the club and joined his friends for dessert and to hear this singer friend of theirs (who was excellent, BTW). Spent about 3 hours with them, and the group of people was awesome! I made some new contacts and hope that a couple of them will turn into friends. It was a cool group of people!

Mike and I were both exhausted, though, and we left about midnight. I was in my bed by 12:30, and watched "What Not to Wear", which I had taped from Friday night. I knew that I needed to stay up as long as possible so I can be awake tonight. I only lasted until about 1:30am, but then I did sleep until 11:30 this morning, which was good.

Today was a lazy day - I didn't have anything scheduled until dinner with Anne, so I puttered around, went grocery shopping, and tried to get a handle on the disaster zone also known as my apartment. I did make some progress on the apartment, but I have a ways to go, too. I made dinner for Anne and me - a vegetable mix that she bought at the local farmer's market, artichokes, and a couple of lamb chops with garlic salt on them. Yummy stuff, and she loved it. We had a good time watching TV and catching up.

Now. The study in contrasts. Wow, these men are different!

Mike is very intense and definitely has a type A personality, is extremely detail-oriented. He is very focused on whatever he is doing at that moment, which can be wonderful IF he's focused on me, and difficult in terms of communication if he's focused on something else. And if he is focused on something, he can be easily distracted. I think he's an 'out of balance' B. He needs a TON of information before he is willing to make a simple decision. He also is VERY safety conscious (which can be good, but can be annoying when he's telling me to be careful for the 100th time - have a little faith, man, that I've made it to nearly 36 without getting myself killed yet, even if there have been some close calls). He's very skeptical and doesn't trust much of anything - people, information, himself. I'm learning that he is a perfectionist in all things - he parked his car no less than three times Saturday night trying to get it 'right'. As if it really matters! He also seems to have a lot of drama in his life, which is weird to me. Everything he does has some kind of problems associated with it - he ordered a desk and it had some damage on the top, so he ordered a replacement piece, which arrived damaged, and required even more follow-up. Someone Saturday night asked me what book would most describe Mike, and I thought it telling that the book that came to mind was "War and Peace" - both because he seems to have a great deal of inner conflict, and because he is complicated and can be long-winded. Interesting reasons, eh? He is also a gentleman, utterly charming, smart as a whip, has a great sense of humor, and we have a lot in common in terms of pre-acting lives and current career goals.

I will admit up front that I don't know Brad nearly as well yet, but so far his life seems to have much more 'flow' to it. Our time together passes very easily, and the only drama has been me falling on the hiking trail (fortunately no biggie). He's had the odd comment about an issue at work, but has always commented on it with a sense of amusement, too. He seems much more balanced, and much more relaxed about things. When I thought about what book might describe him, I thought of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", which I haven't ever read, but have heard a lot about over the years. Brad seems to be more in the moment and more able to enjoy the moment for whatever it may be.

I get much more of a sense of calm from Brad. He's fully present, and not easily distracted. He is also charming and bright and funny and we seem to have a lot in common....

As for me, I am like both of these guys in ways. I don't have much drama in my life, though it does rear its ugly head from time to time. I am very focused and driven regarding my acting career, and intend to continue to spend lots of time making that happen. But outside of the career goals, I tend to be pretty laid-back and flexible. I do yoga, I try to meditate regularly, I read books about spirituality, and try to learn and grow constantly. All in all, I think I'm pretty balanced and have a good perspective on what should be the priorities in my life.

Assuming that we each create our own reality, Mike has created some interesting things lately, and has yet to accept responsibilty for one thing that happened - he's playing the shame, guilt, and blame game, and I find it very interesting. He has made his current reality a bit difficult for himself in numerous ways, and I'm even taking into account that he did just move to LA to become a full-time actor, which was a huge adjustment for me, too, so I know what he's going through with THAT. Brad's life is certainly more settled, but even taking Mike's recent move out of the picture, Brad's reality is much more .... alive, for lack of a better word....

So. I don't know what the future may hold, but I am enjoying getting to know both of these men, and I am looking forward to spending more time with each of them.

I slept all of THREE hours Thursday, and I am ready to crash, even though I must function long enough to get myself home after work. So another eight hours from now, I'll be out cold. I was supposed to have a singing lesson in the middle of the afternoon, and I cancelled it today because I need to take care of myself and stay well. I'll reschedule for one day next week, but sleep is more important right now!

Had a meeting today about Financial Planning for Actors, which was good. I used to be a financial advisor, so I was interested in hearing how this guy felt financial planning differed for actors vs. 'regular' people. Essentially it doesn't, but he did have a number of good things to say about various financial options. He and I differed in our opinions regarding several investment options and life insurance, etc., but I didn't voice my opinions since he was the person leading the discussion - would not have been appropriate! But from one professional to another, afterwards he did ask me what I thought of everything he said, and I told him that it was all solid professional advice, and that we had different styles as far as being advisors - he is more conservative in some areas than I am, and I'm more conservative in other areas than he is. It's all good! And I think the group got a lot out of it. Mike went with me to the meeting, and I think he learned a lot, too, and he got to see me in something other than 'exhausted-actor-working-in-call-center-mode', which has been my usual modus operandi lately.

I tried to sleep more after my meeting, but it eluded me, and finally I got up and started doing a couple of things around the apartment while I waited for my dear friend SF to call me with her ETA at Starbucks. We finally did connect, and enjoyed the brief time we were able to spend together.

We grabbed a quick dinner at a diner-type restaurant, and I had chicken and rice soup and was bad and got french fries. Now, I KNOW I'm tired when I order french fries after having been so good and working so hard lately. And ya know what? THEY WERE GOOOOOOOD!!!! I didn't finish the fries OR the soup, though, because 1) the restaurant was closing, and 2) I'm so flippin' tired that I was starting to get a little nauseous. So we bailed out of there and said our goodnights. I headed home and curled up on my La-Z Boy with a blanket over me and had just fallen asleep when the phone rang. It was Brad, calling to nail down our plans for Saturday. We talked for an hour and a half, and then it was time for me to head to work!

So here I am, with 7 hours and 53 minutes remaining until I can curl up in my bed and sleep.

Thanks for the comments, folks! Keep 'em coming! It's nice to know I'm helping people keep on track, and keep in mind that you all help ME keep on track, too! Just knowing that I have a blog to do keeps me honest, and often stops me from eating something I shouldn't. So thanks!



I got home from work at 9am yesterday and was wiped out. I was getting ready for bed when I realized I should check my calendar and make SURE that I didn't have anything to do during the day. Oops. Meeting at noon. @$#$%@#!!!!!! So I made some lamb chop and scrambled eggs for breakfast (my version of steak and eggs - and it was GOOOOOOOD!) and set my alarm for 11:30am. Set THREE alarms to make sure I would wake up.

The alarms went off, I dragged myself out of bed, and went to my meeting. This was another actor-related function about how to get into commercials, and I learned a LOT! And now I have tons of work to do over the next couple of weeks as far as getting auditions for commercials, meeting people in the commercial industry, etc. I'm hoping I can put together a mailing while I'm here at work one night to minimize the sleep impact, but all the other stuff will have to happen during the day as I can fit it in.

I was back home, ate a half a lamb chop, and was back in bed by 2:30 or so, and set my alarm for 11:15 pm figuring that I'd wake up earlier and be able to get to the gym. Didn't happen. I slept until 11:15 and I think I could have slept another several hours, but I had to get up for work. I've been good about unplugging my phone and turning down the volume on my answering machine the last couple of days, and today I had several messages, but my sleep had been blissfully uninterrupted because I'd remembered to turn stuff off/down. I'll be doing that regularly!

Mike had called and left me a message about watching the videotaped Oscars tomorrow night, but I can't because I'm going to see Baz Luhrmann's "La Bohème". I'm SOOOO excited about it! We had talked about Friday evening anyway, so hopefully that will still work out for him. Anne had left me a message, too, and I still owe a phone call to another friend who left me a message Sunday. This working nights thing is messing up my social life!

I was in a rush to get to work, so I threw together a smoothie (protein powder, pineapple juice, fiber blend, Vitamin C and grapefruit seed extract - I'm trying to fight off this sore throat/sniffles I've got) and drank it once I got here. I've got my leftover lamb stew for lunch and a lamb chop and a half for snacks. Forgot to bring a salad, and I'm craving one....

Today will be a LONG day - I'll get home around 9am, sleep for a couple hours, and go babysit again. I really hope this child sleeps today, because *I'll* need to sleep! With going to the show tonight, I won't get more than a few hours of sleep today. Thursday is another acting information meeting (Financial Planning for Actors!) at 2pm, so I'll have to split my sleep again, AND I'm supposed to meet up with a dear, dear friend for coffee Thursday evening, and I don't want to miss that! She's a gem, and visits with her are far too rare.

I'm reading a GREAT book, by the way, called "Excuse Me, Your LIFE Is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings". I'd had it for some time and it was languishing on my voluminous reading pile until I saw a colleague at work who had it on her desk. I asked her about it and she recommended it highly and was only in the first chapter. So I went home and dug it out of the stacks. It is incredible! I've been working so hard at changing so much in my life, and already this book is having an impact. I was surprised at my PHYSICAL reaction to it - when I pick up the book and read for a few minutes, I often start giggling! Some of the information in it just makes so much sense AND brings me joy to read, and I end up giggling. I highly recommend it! The author is Lynn Grabhorn, and she's also got an "Excuse Me..." workbook that I'm doing next. It seems to be a lot more detailed than the book, so I'm doing it in succession instead of concurrently so I can build upon what the book is teaching me.

Okay, folks, I know you're out there! I was just wondering what y'all would like me to write more about - or LESS! I'm trying to keep it relatively balanced between the life of an actor working on her career in LA, the men in my life, and certainly the BTD and all health and fitness issues there, but I'd love some feedback on what you want to hear more about, so please let me know!



And now we resume our regularly scheduled programming....

Monday I ran into one of my colleagues who was just coming into work as I was leaving, not the one who expressed his feelings for me, but another one, and he asked me if I wanted to get a drink this evening. Uh, okay. Why not? So I met up with him at a Starbucks near my apartment, and he was standing outside, in the rain, waiting for me. Not even on the covered patio. Odd. And then he wanted to go to a bar and get a drink there. Normally this would have been fine, but I've had not quite 3 hours sleep today, and one drink would put me under, PLUS I have to work tonight, and don't want to drink before going to work. He pushed for that a little harder than I would have liked, but I prevailed on staying at Starbucks.

We chatted for about an hour and a half, and it just wasn't flowing. And he's nice enough, but I found out tonight that his car got stolen and he couldn't replace it because he didn't have insurance on it, he has three kids, 2 in SoCal and one in Rome, and I'm just not impressed. We had a nice conversation, but I have zero desire to see him again. I'm glad we don't work the same shift! He also told me that he 'inspects' my desk every morning just to see what I've got out, what I'm reading, etc. That kind of creeped me out a little bit. Not that I have anything there that I care about anyone seeing, but I am glad that I carry most of my stuff to and from work with me every day. And I NEVER leave anything personal out in the open. He also smokes. Ick.

I made my excuses to go home just before 9pm, and tried to sleep a little more. Didn't happen. At 10 I went downstairs to Anne's with a bowl of the lamb stew I made the other day. We watched the finale of "Average Joe: Hawaii" and got caught up a little bit. We were both bummed that she picked Gil, and we were right in assessing that he is a jerk! And we felt for Brian! I hope he keeps his heart open for the right woman. I'm not really into reality shows - Anne likes them more than I do. They are fun, though, and I will admit that "The Apprentice" holds some appeal for the MBA in me.

I desperately need sleep. I've got 8.5 hours to go until I will be in my bed again, and it won't come soon enough. For some reason, today I just could not get to sleep. My mind was racing, the cats wouldn't settle down, and the blasted phone kept ringing. Grrrrr! So I'm minimally functional right now, and I'm looking forward to a long day's rest.

Every time I got up today I ate something - I'm trying to eat whenever I'm hungry (gee, makes sense, eh?) OR when I feel blood sugar issues coming on, but it's tough since I don't have any idea when that will be, schedule-wise. So I ate some stew around 11:30, half a sausage about 2pm, SBUX at 7 pm, stew at 10 pm, and the other half of the sausage about 11:30. I've lost a couple of pounds the last couple of weeks, and whether that is from my crazy schedule, or me eating less AND eating better food, I'm not sure. I've given up all refined sugar, though it is still in my diet in the form of fruits and honey in my tea (still have a scratchy throat!). I haven't even had chocolate in DAYS, and good dark chocolate is my downfall!

I went to my singing workshop and my coach told me that over the last couple of days people have been dropping out right and left, the last one having called 10 minutes before the workshop was to have started. Of the ten people originally scheduled to be in it, I was the ONLY one who did not cancel. Flaky Californians! Do wish I'd known that it wouldn't happen before I drove all the way down there! So I'm going to use my deposit and some of the remaining funds for the class for private singing lessons for the next few weeks, which will be good for me. She and I did sit and have a little tea before I headed home and we caught up a bit - it had been 5-6 months since we'd seen each other.

Drove home and let Mike know that I would be there earlier than anticipated for the Oscars, but first I had to go to the grocery store so I could make something for dinner. I had ground lamb in the fridge, and had been thinking about some kind of stew combination, so I bought a couple of white onions, 2 sweet potatoes, and a bag of frozen okra. Put the meat, onions, and potatoes in a pot and let it rip for a while with some salt and curry. Added the okra at the end so it didn't overcook. It totally hit the spot, and was filled with beneficials, which I desperately need right now. I've got a scratchy throat and feel like I'm fighting something. Ugh.

I went over to Mike's for part of the Oscars, but I had to leave before the end so I could get at least a couple hours of sleep in before coming to work. I am just wiped out right now, and won't get to rest until later during the day Monday. I've got an acting-related meeting noon so I'll be sleeping after my meeting. Tuesday I have NO plans, and I intend to sleep all day if I can - and Wednesday I am babysitting again and have a date to see "La Bohème" that evening (very excited about that!), so I won't get to sleep much Wednesday. Thursday is another quiet day, and then the weekend. I've GOT to get some acting jobs that will get me OUT of this job. They're coming - VERY soon!