Archives for: February 2004, 25
I am still bloated from the wheat, but not as badly as I was yesterday. My new goal is to go 60 days without touching wheat. I can do this! That will bring me close to my birthday, so I will have a planned avoid and eat birthday cake for my birthday.
Didn't get much sleep yesterday. I had to deal with a touchy situation at work, and wanted to talk with Mike about it, and then he wanted to talk to me about something that happened during his trip. It was difficult for him to talk about it, and it was our first 'serious' conversation. I think he was nervous about what my reaction would be to having this conversation - he couldn't look at me most of the time he was telling me about it, and I know he's embarrassed about what happened. There are some things that need to be done to resolve the issue, and that will take place over the next couple of months. Ultimately it will not be a major event in his life, but it feels like a big deal to him now. I'm a bit more removed, so my perspective is that it isn't as big of a deal as he's making it now. I won't share what he's going through here since it's MY life that I'm willing to put on stage, not his.
I will, though, share what happened to me at work. My colleague, who I've known barely a month, told me that he likes me. Sent me a couple of emails telling me that I have marvelous eyes, beautiful smile, whatever. Now, I don't want to make waves with management, and I NEED this job, so I've pretty much ignored it until yesterday. He sent me an email telling me that he's got feelings for me. I've done nothing to encourage ANYONE around here that way - I've got my hands full with Mike and now Brad (the guy from the chiro's office!), and it wouldn't be professional, either. This man is married, too, and I would certainly never encourage something there. I've been professional, friendly, and have largely kept to myself (easy to do when you're tethered to a phone all night). So I got this email, and responded with the following:
"You crazy man! That's very sweet that you have a crush on me, but just remember that I am only a woman - AND your colleague! And aren't you married?" and followed up by telling him that I think it is inappropriate for him to have feelings for me, that he is my colleague, is married, and should be giving compliments to his wife, not to me. I also told him that he barely knows me, and has feelings for this illusion of what he thinks I am like, not the reality of the person that I am. I wanted to be honest and also be blunt that nothing will EVER happen (even if he were single I'm SOOOOO not attracted to him!). He got the point, and I hope that is the end of it. But by the time I got home this morning I was emotionally exhausted. This was unexpected and completely caught me by surprise. So when I got home I wanted to see a friendly face whose attentions I DO welcome, so I called Mike and told him I needed a hug. If my colleague doesn't get the message, I will discuss it with management. I don't need this kind of crap at work. I want to do my job, and land acting jobs so I can quit and get out of here!
Otherwise, things are fine - back on track with my food, and desperately need to get to the grocery store. I ate shrimp and black-eyed peas for lunch yesterday because it was about all I had in the apartment. Tonight's lunch is a smoothie and wheat-free toast and almond butter. I'll get to the store today and prepare something decent for lunch tomorrow.
Brad called me tonight and asked me out for coffee for Saturday morning, so we're meeting up at a Starbucks between us. I won't have a lot of time Saturday - vocal class starts at 2pm, and a concert that night with Mike and a friend of his from out of town, but it will be good to spend a little time with Brad and see if he is someone (else!) I'd like to spend time with.