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Why can't we just be friends?
Aack. So my neighbor, who I'll call Mike, and I went to see Master and Commander last night. I enjoyed it - great sailing scenes, military strategy, and battles. Not my favorite kind of movie, but I lived on a sailboat for a few months, and used to hear ALL about the old sailing ships from my ex-BF. Anyway, Mike and I enjoyed the movie, and then we decided to get a bite to eat at the deli across the street. By this time it's nearly 10pm, and I'm tired, but having fun, and I wasn't ready to call it a night yet. This was my downfall. I should have just said that I was tired, and come home to go to sleep, but NOOOOOO, this oh-so-social O just had to go have some more fun for the evening.
We had a good time at the deli, and I gave in to the avoids - french fries and IBC rootbeer. Mike ordered banana cheese blintzes, and our orders were HUGE, so we shared fries and blintzes. I had half a blintz, and stopped, even though that cream cheese and sour cream was SOOOOO good! We had a nice discussion, and Mike wanted to stop in the bakery before we left the deli, so he got a bunch of yummies, and I behaved and didn't get ANYTHING, not even a flourless rocky road cookie. Then we headed back to the apartment building. Mike got one dessert that I wanted to have a bite of, so he came in and we kept talking. Then as I was telling the story about my last first date and how I didn't want to kiss my date that night, Mike said he wanted to kiss me.
Now, I know I can be oblivious to this sort of thing, but this really floored me. I thought we were well on our way to being friends and neighbors, and ONLY friends and neighbors. Evidently, I was mistaken! Mike said that he did not want to mess up our friendship and the candor that we have in talking with each other, and I said that I didn't want to mess it up either, and that I'd rather not get involved romantically at this time. I do very much enjoy his company, but jeez, it's kind of like "When Harry Met Sally", only I'm Harry. Mike has to know every detail about everything he's doing, and even ordering banana cheese blintzes is a major ordeal, yet I'm the one who has food allergies and is on a specialized diet (most of the time) and it takes me two seconds to order. I don't mind dealing with that with a friend, but in a romantic relationship that would drive this fast-thinking, fast-moving, fast-talking, less-than-totally-patient-O absolutely bonkers.
I think it is perfectly natural when single men and women are friends to think that a romantic relationship is the next step to move to, but I also don't think it is the ONLY step. Mike is a great guy, and would make a great husband - for another woman! So I want him in my life, and would love to meet his friends (and maybe go out with them!) and I would love to fix him up with some of my friends. In effect, I want to keep this on the 'friendship' level, and not hurt him by keeping it at that level. What we ended with last night was that we can always take it to the 'romantic' level in the future, but let's keep it friends for now.
Aack. I don't need this right now!
On other levels, I'm regretting the half a blintz and the fries from last night - when I'm tired I just shouldn't even TRY to eat because I invariably make poor choices. Woke up with a scratchy throat and tons of mucous and just couldn't drag myself out of bed, even after hitting the alarm several times. My friend Pele (she's from Nigeria) called, and we went for about a 1.2 mile walk around the park near my apartment building, and Mike called me to ask me to come over and have cheesecake for breakfast. I declined the cheesecake, and will see him tomorrow night because we have plans to go to an acting seminar together.
By the time we got back from our walk, I was starving and my ears and throat were cold, so I made Pele and me some tea and heated up the last of my yummy turkey soup. I've got to cook something else today for lunch for the next couple of days - I have plans every night this week, so today I have to be as ready for work as I can get for the rest of the week. I think I'll get some chicken pesto sausage from Trader Joe's and a big bag of salad. That will feed me for lunch, even if it does get a little boring during the week. I'll pick up a bunch of blueberries and pumpkin seeds for snacks and some lamb or shrimp for dinners, and maybe I'll throw some shrimp into my salads, too.
I try to throw a little bit of everything beneficial into salads, so I'll pick up some black-eyed peas or adzuki beans, some walnuts, onions, and whatever else sounds good to throw in there. I've got eggs for breakfast, but need fruit for smoothies. Time to make a list and get going!
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